My Angel

You’ve probably read many posts about him but there is never enough I can say about this person. He walked in when my world was in shambles and little did I know then that he would take my hand and show me the way out.

He was tall and handsome with reddish blond hair. His eyes were green and he had a kind way about him. When we met, I liked him well enough but I kept my distance. After a few months, he told me he was all in. I couldn’t tell him the same. I wanted to but I couldn’t. What more could I ask for? He made me feel like a million dollars and treated me like I was made of glass. I guess at that time I was. I was fragile and I was vulnerable. The divorce had almost destroyed me and I wasn’t ready to let anyone get close to me ever again. We carried on as very close friends. He was of Irish-American descent so his name for me was, “Lovely.” I don’t know if that is an Irish thing but it sounded like it was. More importantly, he didn’t know it at the time but that name gave me my self-esteem back. I was feeling bruised, hurt and far from LOVELY! The name stuck and even to the very end, that name stayed. The last words he said to me were, “I like you with your hair down. You look lovely.” That was two days before he passed away.

What can I say about my angel. He was there in my deepest darkest moments and he held my hand and showed me how to laugh and to live again. Our time together was devoid of drama. It was peaceful and it was filled with a special kind of friendship. This was needed to get me back to normal again. When his job was done, he left me behind. As I have said before, angels never stay for long. Soon another anniversary will roll around and I will think of all the moments we had shared but mostly I will think of this person who was there when I needed him the most and who showed me what real love was all about even if I couldn’t show him the same.

Here’s to you my angel. Some days I wish you were still here to show me the way but the journey forward is mine alone. I know we’ll meet again of this I am sure but until then, thank you for what you gave me, the precious gift of finding myself again. I will be forever thankful to you but you already know that.

Chachi, the cat, wears that name with pride now. It is only fitting because he was your gift to me. I know you are at peace, free of pain and flying with the angels and looking down at me because you promised you would.

Until we meet again.