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The Whispers of Heartbreak

We’ve all experienced heartbreak at some point in our lives and sometimes it happens more than once which is the norm and at other times, if you’re lucky, it goes easy on you.

The human to human interactions opens us to heartbreak. It puts us out there to accept, to experience and eventually to find peace, love, or heartbreak. There is another kind of heartbreak that is not often seen or heard but it has the potential to tear your heart apart just the same. It is the interaction between man and animal. The kind that is often overlooked and sniffed at as nothing more than an imaginary thing that takes place in your head. A friend told me recently that, “Animals are not people.” Some may say that it is the absolute truth but to those of us who think differently that was shocking to say the least. I found it to be a disregard for life, whether it is for the animal variety or otherwise.

Those of us who have pets know how they can grow and attach themselves to the very core of your being. Sometimes they evolve and take the place of humans so much so that there is no difference between the two. They are “humans” and will remain so. Losing one or the other brings about intolerable pain and it doesn’t matter if we are talking about an animal, the pain is the same.

I got a first hand glimpse of this phenomenon yesterday. I’ve written about my son leaving to start a new job. It means moving away to another city and place to get this process going. The apartment he has right now does not allow pets. The excruciating decision was made to leave them behind for the time being, perhaps for the duration of the trial period which is six months. The cats, Shiro and Gallahad, have been part and parcel of his life for as long as I can remember. They got him through his studies. When things got tough they were there to ease the pain and to move him forwards and onwards. They were his buddies, his kids, and his all around mentors, if you can call them that. To put it succinctly, they were inseparable.

This parting of ways is taking a toll on him and on them. He has been quiet for the most part and I watched as he hugged them close, turned and walked away with tears in his eyes. It took courage and tremendous strength.

The cats have been missing him. Shiro, his little princess, has been quiet, too quiet and keeping to herself. She is usually noisy because she loves to meow and she does it with relish! Not a peep from her for the last couple of days. There is a look of sadness about her. Gallahad, on the other hand, has brushed it aside and is taking the separation in stride. He is happy with the food, the soft strokes on his head and the stolen window seat by the kitchen which he has claimed as his own. Chachi is NOT happy but that is another story.

Last night, my son called and we talked about the new apartment. He was not too happy with it. I think it was missing two key elements. We talked about the surroundings, the people and the distance to his work place. However, he kept coming back to the two that were consuming his every thought. I assured him they were fine but he asked, “Can I talk to her?” He wanted the phone held to Shiro’s ear so that he could say some things to her. I did just that. I listened as he spoke to her. A father missing his child. He told her that he missed her terribly, he wished she was with him and he would try his best to get an apartment where they can all be together again. I listened with tears in my eyes. Shiro, on the other hand, sat up, her eyes opened wide at the sound of his voice and meowed a soft meow as if she understood. The next part was heartbreaking. There was absolute quiet on the other side. I thought we got cut off so I asked, “Are you still there?”

Silence. I asked again and then he came back on. “I miss them so badly. I wish they were with me.” He was in tears. I knew then that there was no difference. A heartbreak is a heartbreak. It tears at you, it robs you of sleep, it consumes you with pain AND it reminds you that the heart is a fragile thing. It breaks when you face loss, rejection, and giving up what is dear to you as in this case even if it is just for a little while.

The whispers of heartbreak rumble through us, make headway reminding us that we are fragile where it is concerned and human or animal, the difference is the importance you place on it AND sometimes, it is one and the same.

This Moment in Time

If you think about it, this moment in time is all we have. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is looming somewhere in the distance but today, more specifically, this very moment is where we exist.

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” Bill Waterson

Are you in a safe place? Are you protected? Are you at peace? These are things which matter.

I overthink and it is mostly about the past and then I jump to the future. It is an erratic pattern of thoughts and I am well aware of what I’m doing but still I persist. Last night, I decided to reel in all my jumbled up thoughts because they were causing another sleepless night and then started looking at each one individually and realized that I was dabbling in things I cannot change. The past is done with and the future is unknown. I looked at the moment I was in and realized I was safe, I was warm and I had a roof over my head. I had Chachi, the cat, cuddled up next to me and the world, for the here and now, was a peaceful place. I stayed there for awhile and like a lullaby, it rocked me to sleep.

The moments count. They define our psyche and being in several places in one time does not help matters much. Having one foot in the past and one in the future is not going to do it. Stay in the here and now. What are you doing now? It matters. Trying to put the past, the future and everything else in one basket is a sure fire way to disaster. Sort it out. Make peace with the past, learn the lessons you need to learn and then close the door behind you. The future will be determined by what you do today. Give it loving care, your attention, and maybe, just maybe a brighter tomorrow is around the corner. We can only hope.

Why is being in the present moment so important?

According to powerfullyyou.org, “it can decrease the activities of your nervous system, reduce stress, and help you to feel more regulated.” Tony Robbins says, “it allows you to focus all of your energy on the task at hand.” He further adds, “where focus goes, energy flows.”

Easier said than done? I agree. My mind loves jumping around. It’s like a “monkey” which loves to climb, run, twist and do whatever is necessary to keep me from the task at hand and it often succeeds. It is going to take lots of practice before the “monkey” learns to behave! There is still hope.

Have an amazing day.

My Belief in Fate/Destiny

I do believe that fate/destiny are intertwined and things or events in life that take place do so because of these two entities if you can call them that. There is a higher force at work here and perhaps everything has already been put in motion according to how it should unfold and your life is not really your own. You are going along with the flow so to speak.

Fate is defined as “a power or agency determining events and destinies, acting beyond our control” and “destiny is responsible for everything. This destiny is predetermined and unchangeable.” If that is the case, it is frightening to say the least. It raises the question what if everything has already been preordained and nothing you do is going to change the outcome of what your destiny is going to be?

One particular event comes to mind. I met my ex at a university dance but I do believe that “fate” had arranged that meeting. After a painful breakup, I had taken a year off to recuperate and dating was on the backburner until that fateful evening. I was persuaded by some well-meaning friends to show up at the dance and I remember digging in my heels and saying no but I did go and there he was this tall, skinny and nerdy-looking individual who was not my type at first glance. Fate had other plans and destiny started the ball rolling that night and we ended up together. Even though we didn’t stay together, I feel the meeting was arranged by a higher force and destiny did the rest to put the chain of events in motion. Why did it happen if “forever” was not in the cards? Who knows, maybe it was some cruel trick played by fate/destiny and there was a lesson to be learned.

I’ll never know but I do believe that fate/destiny do exist and sometimes it works in your favor and sometimes it doesn’t. Yours is not to know the reason why!

Daily writing prompt

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

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Day 3

Time sure does fly. It is day three since my son came by, brought his cats here, talked for a while and off he went to start his new life.

DAY 1:

It was chaotic. I had three cats here and I felt like my world was being turned on its head! Shiro, the Persian cat, and Gallahad, the British long-haired cat were not too sure about what had just happened. Dad, (my son) was gone and they were with this lady they recognized but not quite. I hadn’t seen them in a long time and we were practically strangers. They watched me cautiously and no amount of talking to them seemed to make them look at me differently.

SHIRO: “She thinks she is the cat whisperer. What is the gibberish coming out of her mouth? Where is daddy?!!”

GALLI: “I think she’s nice. I remember her from long ago but that Little Macho over there thinks he can take us both down! I’ve got news for him.”

CHACHI: “Don’t TOUCH my things! Look at my teeth, they mean business!”

ME: “Lord, have mercy! Where and how do I start?”

I made sure their room upstairs was made to order. It looks like cat paradise up here. I even put blankets on the bed in case they got cold. Everything was spotless and the toilet was CLEAN and smelling like flowers.

SHIRO: ” This is what I’m talking about! Dad, I love him but the toilet was never this clean. I’m going to enjoy this!”

GALLI: “Who cares? A toilet is a toilet and anyway I never pay too much attention as to what I leave behind.”

Exactly the problem! Galli thinks that doing the big stuff is one thing and covering it up with litter is another!

DAY 2:

All was quiet. The two survived the night with no problems. I kept Chachi in the bedroom since I didn’t trust them playing together. Chachi had and has an attitude. He’s all about his things. Don’t touch this and don’t touch that! If you so much as look at me cross-eyed, you’re looking at trouble!

Chachi also decided that he hates me! I’ve brought some strangers in to take his place. Every time I picked him up, he hissed to show his displeasure. Instead of purring when I put him next to me at bed time, he was as quiet as a mouse. The message was clear. Get THEM out of here!

Galli decided that he was going to give the cat whisperer a chance. He purred every time I came close and even let me stroke him. He also started rubbing up against my leg. He is all about the food, as long as his stomach is over full, he’s a happy camper. There was hope yet. Shiro wouldn’t have anything to do with me, cat whisperer or not. Her whole stance was, “WHERE IS DADDY? Get me out of this place!”

DAY 3:

So far, so good. The cats have settled down, they are eating and drinking and letting me pat them on the head. Chachi is still in his pissed off mood. He keeps shooting evil eyes in my direction and hissing at them every chance he gets. My son has been constantly texting asking for pics and sending messages, “I miss them.” I’ve been working tenaciously to keep them all happy.

Now, I AM POOPED!

Will it get better? I can only hope but running behind the three of them is going to take coordination and some planning. I know it is a challenge and it will be a challenge. First thing, I need to work on getting Chachi on my side. So, I’ve been whispering, “You know you are my little love, don’t you? No one can take your place.”

CHACHI: “Stop your cat whispering with me. I know you better and you need to beg, maybe it will work but for now, no way in hell!

Let’s see what the days going forward will bring.

Fingers and toes crossed.

Figure It Out

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

“You don’t need to have it all figured out to take a step forward.” Unknown

This is the absolute truth. You don’t need to know everything before you take the next step forward but you have to trust in the process to move forward, one step at a time. You’ll get there.

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt.”

“You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” Unknown

This is where we go wrong I think. We want what we think we deserve but life has other plans for us. Go with what you have, work with what you have and make it the best set of cards for you and you’ll come out the winner. I have to remind myself of this as well the next time I moan and groan at the unfairness of it all!

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” Unknown

The stories we tell ourselves can be the road to disaster. It screws us up. How it’s supposed to be and what you do to get there are two different things. It’s not going to fall into your lap, whatever it is that you want, it takes hard work and that is the truth of the matter.

“You don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. And you don’t have to tackle everything at once. You just have to show up and try. You just have to focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. And you have to trust that you’ll figure out the rest along the way.” Daniel Koepke

Nice piece of advice that. Just keep moving, show up and you’ll be on your way.

“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” Unknown

Okay this one speaks to yours truly! I can’t for the life of me figure out the plot. Perhaps it is best not to ask but to just trust that I have what it takes to make it and the rest will fall into place. Easier said than done!

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan

This special piece of advice is what life is about. Giving up is not going to do it and as I often say, bite the bullet and keep on going.

TODAY

figure out what makes you happy and do more of it, figure out what doesn’t, and do – less of it. –

Mandy Hale

YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT!

Have an amazing day.

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye to when I was a wild child running around barefoot, playing in duck puddles and letting my mind roam where it wanted to was a hard one. I never wanted to grow up.

I was a tom boy and I embraced that phase of my life with my whole being. It was a time when I felt free as a bird and “life” was forgiving and nothing was taken too seriously. It was about having fun, drumming up new things to do and having an island as my OWN to do as I pleased is a feeling I can’t describe. It was freedom at its best.

It changed when I was pulled back to earth unceremoniusly and reminded in a no nonsense fashion that I was a girl and it was time I realized that and acted accordingly! I rebelled but when I saw that young boy, the one who had moved into our neighborhood, things changed. I liked the way he looked and it was time to pack my tom boy days up, put them to sleep and MOVE ON!

However, if I had to go back and do it all over again, I wouldn’t hesitate one minute. It was the best time of my life and will remain so.

Daily writing prompt

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

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Someone Else for a Day?

I can say a lot of things here and pick some influential people who changed life for the better but I’m going to go with someone who makes my life a joy and one who is there from the moment I wake up to the time I turn off the lights and go to sleep.

If I could, I would like to be Chachi, the cat, or rather Little Einstein as he likes to be called. Some might say pick a person but this little furball is a person to me. I would like to see life through his eyes for a change. Sometimes I wonder what he thinks as he looks at me with those big green eyes, I see love but it might be something else altogether! I want to see what is missing in his life and what could be made better.

The little bundle of joy has me wrapped around his paws in more ways than one. I think a cat’s life can’t be beat, well, I am speaking about HIS! There is nothing to worry about, life is a breeze and now that I’ve removed the big Japanese cherry tree from blocking his view in front of the kitchen window, Chachi has a wide-screen TV! He spends his days following me around like a second shadow and his needs are taken care of. When he is bored, he sleeps the day away and when he feels like company, it’s Mommy time! Cuddles, hugs, and kisses are all part of his daily existence and he gets plenty of those. So I say, I would like to be Chachi for a day. The laid-back existence is appealing and “no thinking” and “no worries” makes it a life I would like to experience for a day.

Daily writing prompt

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

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SOTU Babbling

The man of the hour showed up looking feeble as if he needed to be shored up. He got plenty of support from fellow Republicans. They acted like the Messiah had showed up or was it Hitler? Anyway, the accolade was loud and boisterous as they welcomed one of their own.

The address took almost two hours to get the message across. The “babbling” took off the minute he opened his mouth and it just kept on going. It didn’t matter if it was fact-based, that was never his strong suit. Myth, untruths, and factless assumptions were all there. Nothing new here, he has always adhered to “tactics” to push his agenda and has done so with little knowledge of any one subject. This is his expertise. Take something that is not true and push it as the absolute TRUTH!

He droned on keeping the Republicans captivated. What were the Democrats doing? They were silent for the most part except for Rep. Al Green, the lone crusader, holding a sign that read, “Black People Aren’t Apes.” He showed bravado and courage as he stood alone in a sea of Republicans willing to do battle and to stand up for what’s right. We need more people like him.

However, Trump was in his element. His fantasies and distortions were on full display and so were his lies and racist assumptions. The rambling two-hour address encompassed all of the above and more. One source called the address, “heavy on falsehoods, ad libs, and digressions that sometimes seemed like bids to kill time – and remarkably light on policy substance.”

That has always been the case, light on substance, I mean. He went on to denigrate immigrants, tarring and feathering them all with the same brush. According to him, they are criminals, inferior, and they bring crime into the country. He had or has believers swallowing that line, hook, line, and sinker! He also blamed the Somali-American population for importing corruption to the United States. “There are large parts of the world where bribery, fraud, and corruption are the norm, not the exception.”

The pot calling the kettle black?

The State of the Union address lacked truths, had very little substance, furthered divisive racist talk and didn’t do much to bring “the people” together. That’s just my opinion.

Mandy Hale

New York Times best-selling author, speaker, and creator, Mandy Hale inspires women with her writing and I find her quotes to be exceptionally uplifting. If you’re feeling down, turn to them and they are bound to give you a boost in the right direction.

Here are some of her best quotes:

“You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

“If they want to be in your life, they’ll find a way to be in your life. Otherwise, they’ll find excuses.”

That’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.”

A smile, a kind word, or a soothing touch is all it takes to do just that.

“The most beautiful day is the day you decide you’re good enough for you. It’s the day you set yourself free.”

A good one but putting it into practice is the hard part.

“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”

Women tend to do that but I think we are learning that our existence or rather our validation does not depend on a man. I hope so!

“To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care.”

Perfectly said!

“No matter how much you stress or obsess about the past or future, you can’t change either one. In the present is where your power lies.”

This one knocked some sense into me. I love stressing and obsessing so a definite reminder to pay attention and to do different.

Too easy to get = just as easy to forget.

Absolutely and one to pay attention to.

Finally, I LOVE THIS ONE!

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity and leap before you look. Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

Have an amazing day.

Most Ambitious DIY Project

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels.com

I think it was to renovate one of the rooms upstairs. The door needed some painting and the walls as well. I wanted to turn it into a nice guest room and instead of getting a professional to do it which would have cost a lot of money, I decided to give it a try. A “TRY” is the main word here since I had no experience doing what I was about to undertake.

I Googled and than YOUTUBED to get some knowledge on how and where to start with this project. It seemed like a monster undertaking but I had time on my hands and ambition on my side or so I thought! The beginning went as planned. I got the “stuff” I needed and was pleased as punch with my progress. Then it went downhill from there! Nothing seemed to be going right and I was covered with paint from head to toe in no time at all! I had forgotten to put a plastic cover on the floor to protect the carpet so I had another mess going. Halfway through the day, I gave up! It was time to call in the people who knew what they were doing. An amateur was no match for this huge DIY project.

Long story short, the guys came in, took one look, laughed and got the job done in record time. I spent the next week trying to get the paint out of my hair, fingers, arms and everywhere else! Lesson learned and I kowtow to the people in the know. DIY is not for me, I am a klutz in more ways than one!

Daily writing prompt

Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.

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