mindfulness – Site Title

The Three Update

They are still here. Shiro, the white Persian, and her big brother Gallahad. I think they love it here. They have everything they need and throw in a maid at their beck and call, and life couldn’t be better for them. I’m learning about their personalities as well.

Shiro is the princess or so she thinks! She loves anything that smells sweet and wonderful but that doesn’t stop her from cavorting in the litter box! She uses that box about 10 times a day! A little much? Tell me about it. I’m the one with the scooper keeping things clean and some days it is exhausting. She is also the ringleader. The “macho” pants are on, she got them off Chachi and is wearing them with pride. The little Shiro is also a drama queen. If she doesn’t like something, she lets it be known. The meows kick in and she doesn’t stop until I say, “Enough!” Most days, she is my companion. What happened to Chachi? Well, he not only gave up his macho pants, he is content sleeping the day away and keeping his distance from her!

Galahad is the guy who is all about the food. His life revolves around food. The minute he sees me, his high-octane purring takes off. It is not because he is happy to see me or that he loves me, maybe a little of both, but because he sees “food” flashing past his eyes. You wouldn’t believe the number of kisses I get from Mr. Roly Poly. It stops when he has achieved his goal. Yes, he plays me like a well-worn fiddle! He has grown close to my heart and I will miss him royally.

Chachi is getting used to them. His world revolves around them now. Some days he has a hissy fit and on other days he watches them like a hawk. Galli is his best buddy. Shiro is his arch rival. He still shows his tiny teeth whenever he walks past her. Lately, he is reeling that in. Shiro is the smart one. She wants to take his place so she PRETENDS to like him. My poor little guy doesn’t stand a chance but I know that it will never happen. Replacing him is an impossible thing to do but he doesn’t know it. So he watches her and when she snuggles up to me, I hear a growl coming from the little guy.

Here’s the thing. They were supposed to go back to daddy, my son, at the end of this month. My son has moved in to his new apartment. It was a stressful time. It still is. He is doing his business trips as well. After the move, he was off to a city in Germany for a week. He is back now but off again next week for another week. I asked, “What happens when the cats get there and you have to be gone for a week or more?” He says, “I’ll ask a colleague to look after them.” Not sure about that but we’ll cross that bridge when the time comes. Now, I find out that the cats can only be there on the 15th of August because his dad has more important things to do!

I don’t mind watching over them. They are sweet and cute albeit a handful at times. Chachi loves the company and I’m getting used to their ways. However, I need a break so they need to go. I know that Chachi will miss them as well and he will be back to being the ONE and ONLY!

That’s one way of looking at it.

Have an amazing day.

Gut Feeling or Intuition

I would like to think that a gut feeling and intuition are the same but it seems that there are subtle differences. They are closely related and a “gut feeling is typically an immediate physical and emotional reaction driven by survival instincts and past trauma. Intuition is a calmer more cerebral knowing that subconsciously synthesizes experience to offer wise guidance.” I don’t know guys, it seems like it is the one and the same to me. Basically it is that feeling within that tells you you’re going the wrong way! Quite often we choose to ignore the voice that wants to do right and we walk our own path knowing full well that it is the wrong one.

I’ve done that many times over. I remember a time when my “gut feeling” screamed, “STOP! You’re headed the wrong way, he’s not the right one.” I heard it loud and clear, I saw the signs being paraded in front of me and still I ignored and carried on heading into the danger zone!

However, the journey of self-discovery I am on has taught me to pay heed to those gut feelings and to take them seriously. Not too long ago, I dated someone who seemed to be the perfect guy. Let’s just say, he ticked all the right boxes. It started out like a dream. We connected, we had the same interests, and it felt like HOME! However, my gut was telling me something else. It said, “Watch out! Things are not as they seem.” This time around, I chose to listen and it turned out for the best.

The loser was a cheater just like my ex. He played a good game and it looked like he had done it many times before. The good part, I walked away before more damage could be done. My gut feeling was exactly right and I did right by following its advice.

So the next time your gut tells you something is not right, pay heed. It has your best interests at heart just like intuition does.

Daily writing prompt

What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?

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LOL!

The old man and the beautiful young blonde.

A balding, white-haired man from Sherman Oaks, California walked into a mall jewelry store on Friday evening, accompanied by a much younger woman. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler showed him a nice ring for $5,000.

“No, I’d like to see something more special,” the man replied.

The jeweler then presented a stunning $40,000 ring. The woman’s eyes sparkled, and she trembled with excitement at the sight.

The old man smiled and stated confidently, “We’ll take it.”

When the jeweler inquired about payment, the man replied, “By check. I realize you’ll want to check on the funds, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday. I’ll return to collect the ring.”

On Monday morning, the jeweler furiously called the old man. “You have only $25 in your account!” he shouted.

“I know,” replied the old man with a laugh. “But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!”

You must admit the old man knew what he was doing and that blonde didn’t stand a chance! 🤣🤣🤣

Courage in Practice

Courage is not being, “fearless.” Courage is shaking at the knees, choking on your words, heart gripped by uncertainty, but stepping forward on your journey anyway. (Unknown)

That quote right there says it all. Courage doesn’t arrive with grand gestures but in small steps. It means showing up for yourself even if you don’t feel like it. It means getting up in the mornings and saying, “I’m going to try again.” It means staring whatever is holding you back right in the face and daring to take that first small step forward. It means moving towards that mountain top not knowing what is waiting for you there but trusting that it will be better than where you’re at right now.

“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.” Napoleon Bonaparte

How often have you thrown up your hands and said, “I give up!” I’ve been there and so have you. However, it is those very moments that call for courage to step up and to put fear in its place. It is easy to run and hide, to not show up for yourself and to wear the mantle of defeat proudly. Moving on becomes heavy and each step forward, sometimes next to impossible. Courage needs practice like anything else in life. It doesn’t happen overnight and neither is it easy. Each time you face defeat as you inevitably will because life is about overcoming obstacles and nothing is going to be made easy and handed to you on a silver platter. The truth of the matter is, it takes work and sometimes hard work to achieve what you want. On your way, you will meet fear (my constant companion) and you will meet defeat. However, you are made of stronger stuff and you, my friend, are capable of showing up, time and time again until one day you are holding the letter “V” in your hands and giving whatever is holding you back a run for the money!

“COURAGE DOESN’T ALWAYS ROAR. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher

Remember practice makes perfect and “courage” in small doses is what it is about. Make a list and start with the smallest thing on that list. Work your way up one step at a time putting fear where it belongs. Good luck on your journey.

Have an amazing day.

Let It Go (Archives)

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life. Holding on is somehow innately built into the human system and we are wired to hold on when things go wrong. At least, that is the case with me. If only I had the ability to “let go” when I knew that there was no point in holding on. Life would be so much easier right? Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. I am an overthinker, an overachiever and a hold on with a death grip type of person. At times I am well aware that the ship has set sail and is out of sight but I keep looking longingly out to sea hoping it would return and everything would be alright but most times, it never does and still I refuse to let go.

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.” Unknown

The hard thing about letting go is the fear factor. The unknown is always scary. We tend to fixate on what was instead of realizing that it is done with, a thing of the past and it’s time to move on. The pieces remain of what once was, be it a lesson learned or pieces to build a future with but only if we stop looking at that closed door and turn towards the one that is open BUT going through that door is like leading a horse to water but making it drink is another story altogether.

Shannon Alder says:

“Forget what hurt you but NEVER forget what it taught you.”

If only it was that easy. Speaking from experience and being the proverbial holder on, I know that there were times when I dug in my heels and refused to budge because it was what was behind that closed door that I wanted. It didn’t matter that it was bad for me and it didn’t matter that it was gone, water under the bridge so to speak and still I held on for dear life. I cried a waterfall when I could have saved those tears if only I had taken the first step to go through that open door. Freedom comes in letting go which in turn gives you the ability to fly because nothing is weighing you down anymore. I am learning not to stay in one place too long, to look back and to gather the lessons I have learned and when the time is right to keep moving forward. Life is for living, not just existing and being stuck in one place is an absolute no go. It is in moving forward that you learn the power of letting go, the power of living again.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Oprah Winfrey

LET GO!

Have an amazing day.

The Light?!!

Dare I say it without jinxing something that is on the way? I’ll go ahead and do it because I can’t keep it to myself anymore!

The “light at the end of the tunnel” is a classic idiom that signals something positive is about to happen. There are four different takes according to one source.

The Realistic Approach:

“The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train.” James Russell Lowell

The Empowered Approach:

“I stopped waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and lit that b**ch up myself.”

The Pessimistic Approach:

“The good news is the tunnel has an end. The bad news is more tunnels before it.”

The Absurdist Approach: “When life gives you lemons, at least you know you are out of the tunnel.”

Hmm….where does my news fit in? I don’t really know but here goes. Some of you who read my posts on a daily basis know that I have two temporary residents who have moved in for about six months. They are Shiro, a Persian cat, and Gallahad, a long-haired British variety. They took up residence about a month ago and life hasn’t been the same ever since! They belong to my son and since he has started a new job and pets are not allowed in his current apartment, his only choice was to leave them with me.

A month later, I am ready to throw up my hands and to give up! It’s not that they are not cute and sweet. They are all of those things and more. However, they require a lot of time, energy, and looking after. Not only that, they think they’ve moved into a 5 star resort and “demands” are at the top of their list. No longer satisfied with the cheap stuff their daddy (my son) used to feed them, they want top-notch and nothing less! They have a maid (me) who is at their beck and call and if that’s not enough, they want a play buddy as well. Chachi, (my little guy) loves and hates them. So, they have to be separated at intervals, this approach seems to be working but it is taking a toll on me.

The news I am about to tell you couldn’t have come at a better time. My son, who I am very proud of, not only landed his dream job but has gone on to secure a much bigger apartment. This is next to impossible in a city where apartments are very expensive and they get grabbed up as soon as they appear. Anyway, he went to look at the apartment, talked to the owner, asked intelligent questions I presume, and snapped it up! He got the call the same day and was offered the place if he wanted it. A roomy place with a built-in kitchen with all the amenities. The best part, they accept cats! A dream come true? He thinks so.

Now comes the part of signing the contract, giving up the old one, moving his stuff in and maybe, just maybe, the cats are out of here in about two months! He’ll be happy to have them back, I’ll be happy to have my life back although I will miss them, and Chachi, the little macho, will be king of the castle again.

I’ll take a different approach. “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

Fingers, toes, and everything else crossed!

Have an amazing day.

Pay Attention

Life often speaks in whispers at the beginning, it stomps its feet if you don’t listen and it screams to get your attention when you’re heading towards a head-on collision. Through it all, it has your back and is on your side if only you are willing to pay attention to what it has to say. And that is the hard part.

“Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention what you give your precious life force to.” Brenda Shoshanna

The truth is as “humans” we march to our own drumbeat. We see what is not good for us, we know it spells trouble and we know if we keep going down that path, it will take us to exactly where we don’t want to go BUT we are hell-bent on doing it anyway. Are we wired for destruction, is that what we seek? At times, it seems that way but luckily for us, life comes in and shows us the way out but only if we pay attention.

“Pay attention to the signs. Stop making excuses for people. Stop defending their inconsiderate ways. Start taking care of you and your own needs.” Unknown

I do that all the time. Make excuses for inconsiderate people that is, BUT there comes a point in time when I say enough is enough and then I shut the door behind me but unfortunately, it is always a day late and a dollar short. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way but most of us do. Don’t ask me why but we just do. Do we get a thrill out of pain? I don’t know but not paying attention when life is screaming seems to be the problem.

When we don’t pay attention to love, it has a tendency to bring us down to our knees and then we ask what happened? We know exactly why. The answers have been staring us in the face even before the collision happened.

Pay Attention To Her:

When a woman is “tripping” she cares, when a woman is “mad” she believed in you and you let her down, when she is “asking questions” she is trying to gain clarity, when she is “quiet” and letting things slide she is giving up….And when she is not doing all of the above…just know you have lost a good woman.” Unknown

AND

“Sometimes you have to put aside what you feel for them, and PAY ATTENTION to what their actions are saying they feel for you.”

Finally, paying attention seems to be the key to a better life, better relationships and a better way through the intricate maze we call life. Pay attention to the signs before it is too late. Not easy to do but there is no other way it seems.

Listen to the wind, it talks.

Listen to the silence, it speaks.

Listen to your heart, it knows. Native American Proverb

Have An Amazing Day

Self-Love (Archives)

According to one source, “Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”

That said, when was the last time you talked to yourself with compassion? When was the last time you gave yourself some extra care and when was the last time you took care of your needs first. I don’t do those things often enough but it is necessary for your total well-being. Some days, I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off taking care of others and on other days, I am my own worst critic. I am quick to blame and I stay there for a while to my own detriment. When I emerge from this destructive behavior, I am usually in a bad mood or everything seems just a tad gloomier.

We need to be nicer to the person we carry around. Compassion is needed and positive self-talk as well. Start by loving yourself first and it will create a ripple effect in the world around you. I think women are natural caregivers and in the process we forget to take care of ourselves. It’s time to stop and smell the roses even if it’s only for a little while. Enjoy the following quotes that bring “self-love” to the forefront and try to shine the spotlight on “YOU” for a change.

FRIENDLY REMINDER:

“It’s perfectly okay if the only exercise you get today is flipping the pages of a book or stirring your tea or smiling with friends. Well-being means your WHOLE body. Make sure your soul is getting as much exercise as your glutes.”

I sometimes forget to give my “soul” the same kind of attention I give to my body. Time to take note and do different.

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

Another important point here. Set those boundaries so you know in which direction you’re headed.

“Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” Unknown

“Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.” Unknown

It’s true isn’t it? How someone sees you is not your problem. You are enough as you are and always remember that.

Here are a few more for good measure.

“Don’t let your mind bully your body.”

“Remember how you show up for yourself is how you teach others to show up for you.”

“Choose yourself more.”

“Life is too short to be mean to yourself.”

“Less self judgment and more self compassion.”

“Choose people who choose you.”

“Live your life like the story you want to be in.”

And finally:

LOVE YOURSELF

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE!

Have an amazing day.

Letting Go of Control (Archives)

Most of us are “control freaks” when it comes to controlling outcomes. I know I am. We want to take whatever comes our way, things of the unsavory nature and we want to change it or we spend time, sometimes lots of it, mulling over what we cannot control and instead of letting go or accepting it as a lost cause, we try to control the narrative.

“To find calm, let go of the need to control every outcome.” Unknown

I had a tough day yesterday and “calm” had flown the coop and was nowhere to be seen. I kept playing scenarios over and over again and no matter how many times I kept playing it over, the outcome was the same. It was done and dusted and there was nothing I could do about it but to let it go. The only thing I could do was to control my feelings and how I viewed the situation. The other thing that was staring me in the face was that I had no control over the events of the day, only in how I dealt with it. It was time to let it go and I did.

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Mandy Hale

I spent most of yesterday getting angry, agitated, frustrated, and whatever else you could throw into the pot, I was ready to take it all and to run with it! Human nature is such that we love to entertain problems. Truth is, problems do show up when we least expect them and they throw us for a loop when we come face to face with them. More often than not, anger and frustration accompany problems. Not knowing how to deal with them is why they appear in succession. In my case, it is the opportunity to fall off from the path of self-discovery I was on and to VENT for all its worth! Ok, it’s alright for awhile but I see the toll it takes on my psyche and even then, I refuse to stop, hell-bent on wrecking havoc as I go along on my path of self-righteousness! The good part is, I’ve learned when to put a stop to it. It took me most of the day but when evening rolled around, I was ready to come to my senses and to look at it with a clear head.

“One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” marcandangel

Learning to let go of control is not easy because letting go of whatever it is means that you no longer have control over the situation. However, sometimes that is a good thing. You need to step back, view it from a distance and come up with solutions to break down the problem and to make it solvable. Yes, it takes time and it takes focus but it is better than going off the deep end as I did yesterday.

“Real strength isn’t control. It’s knowing when to let go.” Christopher Barzak

Have an amazing day.

Unwinding After a Demanding Day

Those high-pressurized days are over with. I’ve taken time off to concentrate on writing and I have all the time in the world to work on what I’m working on. No more churning out articles to meet deadlines and all the pressure that comes with it. These days the only form of stress that comes my way is dealing with what needs to be fixed around the house, Chachi, the cat’s demands, and stress of my own making! Let’s also add the two cats who have moved in temporarily and are adding to the stress factor and you get the picture.

When stress shows up, my go to method of unwinding is to take a walk in the garden which is geared for relaxation. It has a whimsical quality about it and just watching the butterflies moving from flower to flower is soothing and calming. Listening to the birds is something that helps me unwind as well. The bedroom is an oasis for relaxation and it is kept dark and cool. I never have the heat on in the bedroom, I like it cold with lots of blankets! Sometimes listening to music helps but nothing jarring. It has to be soft and mood inducing. If that fails, stand-up comedy helps to bring out the laughter and this definitely does the job of soothing a frazzled nerve.

Meditation and yoga are two of my current methods of winding down for the evening. I’ve always turned to yoga but took a break after hurting myself doing a pretzel move! No more twisting and turning or headstands for that matter. These days I listen to my body so 30 minutes of slow languid moves helps to tone the body, calm the mind and to restore the soul. Meditation and deep breathing combined are major when it comes to getting ready for bed. It never fails to calm my mind and to put it to bed. Not always an easy thing to do since my mind has a mind of its own!

Daily writing prompt

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

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