mental-health – Site Title

Becoming Your Best Self

I don’t think I am obsessed with becoming my best self but I would like to get halfway there at least. Learning to achieve that goal is not easy because it takes practice and a driven mindset to get there. I am still learning and keeping at it and who knows one day I might say, I did it!

Becoming your best self is not an overnight process and neither does it happen by pressing a button. It doesn’t happen accidentally, it doesn’t happen by chance and it doesn’t happen by waving a magic wand either. It takes action on your part and a commitment to self-discovery and self-development.

“To be your best self you’ll need to first discover who you really are, then maximize your strengths and improve on your weaknesses. You need to completely shift your mindset and take control of your life. When you do, you’ll discover a whole new you.” http://www.tonyrobbins.com

This journey is a hard one. You’ll encounter the good and bad moments, some will be messy and progress will be slow but if you persist and set goals you can achieve anything. Becoming your best self means opening yourself up to challenges, accepting the setbacks and living life to the fullest.

“Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.” Matthew McConaughey

According to notesbythalia.com, you need to practice wellness daily because it goes hand-in-hand with working towards your best self.

Get at least 7 hours of sleep daily. Move your body as much as you can. Eat well. Build healthy habits. Dedicate time to self-care.

You can’t lay in bed and manifest your dreams. It takes action to succeed. Ask yourself, what is success to you? Set value-driven goals and become “razor-clear on what your future vision looks like.” Align your daily habits with who you want to be and the life you want to live. “Boost your overall health, well-being and productivity,” meaning even your smallest daily actions will determine your future self.

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Paulo Coelho

In a nutshell, becoming your best self requires going within to discover the greatness there. It requires strength to bring it to the fore AND it requires courage and hard work to make it shine.

“You are what you believe yourself to be.” Paulo Coelho

Change that mindset from one of negativity to positivity and watch your life take off!

But before you do that:

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, INCLUDING YOU.” Anne Lamont

Then go out and:

BE YOUR VERY BEST SELF!

Have an amazing day.

The Search for Happiness

A man asked Gautama Buddha, “I want happiness.”

Buddha said, First remove, “I” that’s EGO, then remove , “WANT,” that’s DESIRE. See now you are left with only, “HAPPINESS.”

Is it really that simple to find happiness? Okay, I can give this method a try BUT I find that when I remove “EGO” and “WANT,” there is something else glaring me in the face! It is, “WHAT NOW?!!!”

According to Buddhist wisdom, there are 5 steps to happiness. They are:

SMILE MORE

WORRY LESS

BE PRESENT

GIVE MORE

EXPECT LESS

I believe in the smiling more part. No problems there. Worrying less is almost a no go with me. Being present, I am working on. Giving more…..it is a work in progress and expecting less always gets me in trouble. Basically, I’m not quite there yet. Finding that happiness path that is.

What else?

“A disciplined mind brings happiness.”

Oh Gawd! This is even worse. Tell that “monkey” I call my mind to take orders and you’ll see what I mean! Marching on to the next happiness mantra.

“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are….

It solely relies on what you think.”

WHAT?!!! I give up!

No more searching for happiness wisdom today. I’ll do it my way. The sun is shining and I’m going to slip into my flip-flops, go to the garden and let the sun warm my face. I’ll listen to the birdsong to calm my mind and let happiness seep in. Sorry Buddha but maybe next time around.

There will be no more thinking, no more telling my mind to do something it doesn’t want to do and I’ll just let the day go as it wants to. How’s that for a happiness mantra?

Have an amazing day.

SPICE UP YOUR DAY!

Feeling down? Nothing’s going right? You’re in a down phase? The world’s a cruel place? Prince Charming is a no show?

You’re not alone. Give it time, work on yourself but in the meantime here are some tips to pep up your mood and get you soaring again.

MEDITATION

It’s been around for a long long time and it still works today. Just five minutes a day will quiet the mind and send those endorphins spiraling upwards. Try it. Close your eyes, go within. Take a breath, hold for 4 counts and let it out for six. Watch the transformation take place. You’ve got to keep at it to reap the benefits.

NATURE

It is my all-time favorite activity. Nature soothes, nature calms and it teaches how to give those stress hormones a run for the money. Just 10 minutes a day should do it. You’ll come back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle anything the world throws your way. A cup of coffee later and I’m raring to go!

GRATITUDE

This is an important mood booster. Never underestimate the power of gratitude. It has the power to change your mindset and to take you from the glass is half empty to the glass is all kinds of full! Try it. Think of three things you are grateful for right now. Not that bad is it?

LAUGHTER

Find something to laugh about everyday. It has been said, laughter is the best medicine. It really is. I watch standup comedies or funny movies to boost my mood and to release stress. Laughter also strengthens the immune system and releases cortisol and adrenaline, two main stress hormones. Chronic stress puts your health at risk so laugh it away. Aim for a dose of laughter each day.

JOURNALING

It is “the practice of regularly writing down your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and reflections.” This is my way of getting my pent up emotions out in the open. Believe me, it’s a miracle worker and once you get them out, you do feel a lot lighter. Write it down, get it out, do the dance and set it free! It’s a definite pep me up!

SMILE

This one comes naturally to me. I smile a lot. Just having a smile on your face tricks your brain into thinking you’re happy and it releases the “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. These are needed in your arsenal to add to your overall well-being. So, SMILE for all you’re worth!

Just a few tips to rev up your mood. These methods work for me and I hope it does for you as well.

“Be so positive that negative people don’t want to be near you.”

I say, “Aye, aye Captain!”

Have an amazing day.

My Happiness List

First on the list is Chachi, the cat. I can’t do without him and he is my buddy, a close confidante and a joy maker. Just seeing him walk into the room with that John Wayne walk puts a smile on my face. Spending time with him brings happiness as well.

Writing is next on the list. Right now, I am drawing blanks but that happens and it is a momentary lapse. Soon my head will be raging with ideas and I will be ready to get it out and I will. I think my brain is saying enough already! It’s time for a break. I LOVE writing and it is a joyful thing to do.

Walking is naturally on my list. Not a day goes by without a walk in nature but I missed it today. I seem to have caught a cold so it was plenty of rest, liquids and TV time! It’s okay to have downtime now and then.

Meditation brings benefits I never thought was possible. I have a mind that jumps around and doesn’t sit still so meditation has been a good way to reel it in and to make it behave. It is a hard ask but it (my brain) is learning to toe the line or perhaps just pretending to do so! Meditation not only brings joy into my life but it is my safety net when I need peace and quiet.

Workouts are good for the mind, body and soul. I’ve always worked out so why stop now? However, I need to remember that I’m no longer a spring chicken but sometimes I forget and my body reminds me later. It’s all fine and good because I take it in stride although I’ve backed off from kickboxing but all the others are par for the course.

These are my methods for achieving happiness and believe it or not, it works. What about cheesecake? Okay, just a slice puts a smile on my face but it has been a game of tug of war since I started down that road, the cheesecake fetish path I mean, so I’m going to leave it out for now but I hear it CALLING!

Daily writing prompt

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

View all responses

Self-Love

According to one source, “Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”

That said, when was the last time you talked to yourself with compassion? When was the last time you gave yourself some extra care and when was the last time you took care of your needs first. I don’t do those things often enough but it is necessary for your total well-being. Some days, I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off taking care of others and on other days, I am my own worst critic. I am quick to blame and I stay there for a while to my own detriment. When I emerge from this destructive behavior, I am usually in a bad mood or everything seems just a tad gloomier.

We need to be nicer to the person we carry around. Compassion is needed and positive self-talk as well. Start by loving yourself first and it will create a ripple effect in the world around you. I think women are natural caregivers and in the process we forget to take care of ourselves. It’s time to stop and smell the roses even if it’s only for a little while. Enjoy the following quotes that bring “self-love” to the forefront and try to shine the spotlight on “YOU” for a change.

FRIENDLY REMINDER:

“It’s perfectly okay if the only exercise you get today is flipping the pages of a book or stirring your tea or smiling with friends. Well-being means your WHOLE body. Make sure your soul is getting as much exercise as your glutes.”

I sometimes forget to give my “soul” the same kind of attention I give to my body. Time to take note and do different.

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

Another important point here. Set those boundaries so you know in which direction you’re headed.

“Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” Unknown

“Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.” Unknown

It’s true isn’t it? How someone sees you is not your problem. You are enough as you are and always remember that.

Here are a few more for good measure.

“Don’t let your mind bully your body.”

“Remember how you show up for yourself is how you teach others to show up for you.”

“Choose yourself more.”

“Life is too short to be mean to yourself.”

“Less self judgment and more self compassion.”

“Choose people who choose you.”

“Live your life like the story you want to be in.”

And finally:

LOVE YOURSELF

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE!

Have an amazing day.

Human Nature

What is human nature? One explanation refers to “the fundamental characteristics, ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that are generally considered to be inherent to human beings.” One can say we are pre-programmed to act in a certain way when faced with certain situations but nurture and social experiences do play a part in shaping individual behaviors as to how we react to certain outside stimuli.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity and I ‘m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein

“It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion.” Anatole France

I totally agree with this assumption. Been there and done that many times over!

“Human nature is deeply ingrained despite our best efforts difficult to change.” Unknown

This one shines the spotlight on the problem itself. Stupidity and stubbornness sometimes or often go hand-in-hand making it a lose-lose situation.

“It’s human nature to remember only what you want to remember and forget what you want to forget, or transform it into a different story.” Unknown

We are all good storytellers so I definitely agree with the transformation part so much so to our own detriment.

“I hate it when people argue in public and I’ve missed the beginning so I don’t know whose side I’m on.” Unknown

This too is human nature.

“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.” Unknown

Human nature at its best?

“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.” Unknown

ME TOO!

“Even if you give them everything that they ask for, it’ll never be enough.” Unknown

Are we talking about men here?

Finally….

THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

“You are not a pawn in a game controlled by others; you are an active player who can move the pieces at will and even rewrite the rules.” Robert Greene

There you go. You are not stuck where you are and you have the ability to change your life. You just need to start moving in the right direction. What about human nature? Tell it to take a hike!

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

ADAM AND EVE

God was just about done creating humans. He was feeling pretty satisfied with his work, but he had two parts left over.

He couldn’t decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them.

“I’ve got two things for you, but you’ll have to decide who gets what. The first thing is the ability to pee standing up….”

Adam interrupted, “Oh please give that to me! I’d love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing men should have. Please! Give it to me Pleeease!”

On and on he went like an excited little boy, bouncing up and down. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the ability to pee standing up.

Adam was so excited that he just started whizzing all over the place – first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name on the sand, and then he ‘did the helicopter’ with his thing.

“Look Eve, I’m a sprinkler!”

God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, “Well, I guess you’re kind of stuck with the last thing I have left.”

Eve asked, “What’s that?”

God said, “BRAINS.”

Ladies be happy we didn’t get that thing and how do you do a helicopter anyway?!!

Have an amazing day.

Letting Go of Control

Most of us are “control freaks” when it comes to controlling outcomes. I know I am. We want to take whatever comes our way, things of the unsavory nature and we want to change it or we spend time, sometimes lots of it, mulling over what we cannot control and instead of letting go or accepting it as a lost cause, we try to control the narrative.

“To find calm, let go of the need to control every outcome.” Unknown

I had a tough day yesterday and “calm” had flown the coop and was nowhere to be seen. I kept playing scenarios over and over again and no matter how many times I kept playing it over, the outcome was the same. It was done and dusted and there was nothing I could do about it but to let it go. The only thing I could do was to control my feelings and how I viewed the situation. The other thing that was staring me in the face was that I had no control over the events of the day, only in how I dealt with it. It was time to let it go and I did.

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Mandy Hale

I spent most of yesterday getting angry, agitated, frustrated, and whatever else you could throw into the pot, I was ready to take it all and to run with it! Human nature is such that we love to entertain problems. Truth is, problems do show up when we least expect them and they throw us for a loop when we come face to face with them. More often than not, anger and frustration accompany problems. Not knowing how to deal with them is why they appear in succession. In my case, it is the opportunity to fall off from the path of self-discovery I was on and to VENT for all its worth! Ok, it’s alright for awhile but I see the toll it takes on my psyche and even then, I refuse to stop, hell-bent on wrecking havoc as I go along on my path of self-righteousness! The good part is, I’ve learned when to put a stop to it. It took me most of the day but when evening rolled around, I was ready to come to my senses and to look at it with a clear head.

“One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” marcandangel

Learning to let go of control is not easy because letting go of whatever it is means that you no longer have control over the situation. However, sometimes that is a good thing. You need to step back, view it from a distance and come up with solutions to break down the problem and to make it solvable. Yes, it takes time and it takes focus but it is better than going off the deep end as I did yesterday.

“Real strength isn’t control. It’s knowing when to let go.” Christopher Barzak

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

I wasn’t in a good mood yesterday so I went looking for something to lighten the mood and came up with these. It sure did the job so thought I’d share.

Wife: “How would you describe me?”

Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK”

Wife: “What does that mean?”

Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”

Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

Do you think he lived through it?

*************************************************************

Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Hmm?

*************************************************************

A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” She says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five-year-old woman I have the breasts of an eighteen year old.”

“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband. “What did he say about your forty-five-year- old a**?

Wife: “Your name never came up in the conversation.”

That’ll teach him to be quiet the next time around.

************************************************************

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said “Happy Birthday boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out to lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?”

“Okay,” I said.

She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa…..naked.

Obviously she wasn’t that kind of secretary but he obviously was that kind of boss!

************************************************************

Have an amazing day and HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! Hope you have a peaceful one.

Let It Be

Let It Be. How many times have we heard this phrase? I don’t know about you but I’ve heard it often enough mostly from well-meaning friends, people who care and those who want better for me.

Did it sink in? NOT when I was in the midst of what I call my “end of the world” meltdowns. During these times, “let it be” was the last thing on my mind. However, when you look at these three words, it does hold power behind its seemingly gentle facade. The strength lies in its ability to slow things down, to step back and to take a good hard look at the situation and to say, there is nothing left for me to do so breathe and LET IT BE. Three unassuming words but a powerhouse when it comes to comfort, acceptance and a message of hope.

I want revenge! I want my old friend “karma” to step in and do what I can’t do! I want payback! Unfortunately, revenge is a dangerous option and karma, well it takes its time and that is the problem. Payback? It doesn’t happen automatically. So what do you do while you wait for whatever it is that you’re waiting for to take place? Breathe quietly and LET IT BE.

There is comfort in knowing that you don’t have to do anything. Wipe away the tears, tone down the rhetoric and just LET IT BE.

Acceptance, well this is much more difficult. Accepting means you are ready to let go of an event or situation that has caused so much turmoil. How do you calm this beast down? Breathe deeply and LET IT BE.

Hope is a four letter word that holds power within its unassuming persona. When you zoom into this optimistic state of mind, all things are possible is the message. Armed with comfort, acceptance and hope, I’m going to breathe and LET IT BE, if only for today. Tomorrow is another story!

Today’s mantra will be?

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

The Beatles