mental-health – Site Title

Two Weeks to Go!

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Time sure does fly but I’m not having fun! It is four weeks after my first operation and things are going well. When I bring up the second OP to friends and how nervous I am they say, “You’ll be just fine! Look at how well you did with the first one.”

My thought, “Please don’t jinx it!” Yeah, I’m superstitious but more than that this second one coming up is bugging me. It will be a similar procedure and they’ll be going in the same way so this means the healing that has taken place so far will be disturbed once again and that is a scary thought. What if it doesn’t heal this second time around?

Yes, those “what ifs,” are more than scary. I’ve packed my bag, a smaller one than the last time since I didn’t use most of the stuff I brought with me. I hung out in the hospital “Krankenhauskittel” as they call it here with a kimono thrown over for modesty. A kittel is a hospital gown,that has a gaping opening at the back. I hated it but it did the job well enough and I felt as free as a bird as well! Just kidding.

If I’m lucky they’ll let me go home the same day after the operation. What?!! Exactly what I said but the doctors think that I should be okay. If anything like severe bleeding happens, call emergency services immediately and come back in was what they said. I’m a worrywart so all kinds of things are going through my head. What if I have severe bleeding? What if my blood pressure dips? What if I lose consciousness? What if? What if? What if? Get the picture? I am a doctor’s worst nightmare!

Anyway, next week I will meet with the doctors for a last minute talk so I can ask away to my heart’s content. No, actually they will do the prep which will take about 3 to 4 hours. Why that long? The last time I went through this, I met with different people, had a needle stuck in me, blood was taken, urine sample was next and then the doctors came in. I had a whole lot of questions for them all compiled by my Google doctors and by the time I left, they had heard an earful! This time around will be no different. I am prepared and I have a pageful of questions!

Google doctors are NOT real people!

I know but I like them a lot and I think they like me. Keeping them busy is what I do on a daily basis and I will say this, they know what they are talking about. I got loads of help from them this last time and they helped with the healing process.

I can hear my friend screaming, “I still hate them!” He means Google.

I don’t, I have a love affair going with all of them or is it just one? I don’t know and I don’t care!

The question I left out this time is, “Will I die?!!” Otherwise, I have all the pertinent questions, at least I think they are. I am pepping myself up, working out, yes working out. I am up to 30 minutes now with the walking and I have started strength training as well. So far, so good.

I haven’t taken a walk to the fields yet. That might be pushing it so I’ll leave it out for now. I went grocery shopping with a friend today and she did all the heavy lifting since I am still watching that part of it carefully. I walk up and down the stairs with no problems and I’m basically doing the mundane day to day stuff with no problems. Of course, I’m watching my diet but I did buy two slices of cheesecake and I took one tablespoon of it and knew it was a mistake so they are still sitting in the fridge. My Chilean friend, Max, will be coming by later this morning to help me with something so that will be his reward along with a nice cup of coffee.

I hope I don’t start climbing walls again when the time draws closer. Knowing me I’ll not only be climbing walls but staying up there once I get there!

Let’s see how this goes.

Have an amazing day.

Human Nature

What is human nature? One explanation refers to “the fundamental characteristics, ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that are generally considered to be inherent to human beings.” One can say we are pre-programmed to act in a certain way when faced with certain situations but nurture and social experiences do play a part in shaping individual behaviors as to how we react to certain outside stimuli.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity and I ‘m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein

“It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion.” Anatole France

I totally agree with this assumption. Been there and done that many times over!

“Human nature is deeply ingrained despite our best efforts difficult to change.” Unknown

This one shines the spotlight on the problem itself. Stupidity and stubbornness sometimes or often go hand-in-hand making it a lose-lose situation.

“It’s human nature to remember only what you want to remember and forget what you want to forget, or transform it into a different story.” Unknown

We are all good storytellers so I definitely agree with the transformation part so much so to our own detriment.

“I hate it when people argue in public and I’ve missed the beginning so I don’t know whose side I’m on.” Unknown

This too is human nature.

“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.” Unknown

Human nature at its best?

“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.” Unknown

ME TOO!

“Even if you give them everything that they ask for, it’ll never be enough.” Unknown

Are we talking about men here?

Finally….

THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

“You are not a pawn in a game controlled by others; you are an active player who can move the pieces at will and even rewrite the rules.” Robert Greene

There you go. You are not stuck where you are and you have the ability to change your life. You just need to start moving in the right direction. What about human nature? Tell it to take a hike!

Have an amazing day.

When Silence Speaks (Archives)

Sometimes we think that silence is just that, a certain quietness where nothing happens. It is a void that is soothing but nothing much comes out of it. I beg to differ. I have found that if you listen carefully, “silence” has much to say.

“It’s been said that actions speak louder than words, sometimes, it’s what you don’t say or do, that sends the loudest message.” Carlos Wallace

Quite often when something doesn’t go our way and we are hurt by another’s words or actions, the first reaction is to let it rip. Let it all out and show them how you feel and during those moments, words are aplenty and so are emotions. However, when all is said and done and you are wrung dry, more often than not you realize that you didn’t achieve anything through those outbursts of the unsavory kind.

“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown

Maturity doesn’t show up wearing bells and it does not say, “Here I am, take me and use me.” It shows up when you least expect it and when you’ve gone though the growing up process. The one that takes you on the ups and downs, the one where you find yourself down on your knees and the one that shows you there is a better way of doing things without going ballistic. It is the quiet gentle knowledge of knowing that you deserve better and you will move on with grace. No shouting or being loud needed.

“And suddenly I stopped explaining, stopped fixing, and just moved on. I learned that silence speaks louder than words. No response is a response. Now, I don’t chase. I don’t care and I let people feel the weight of their own choices.” Unknown

Easier said than done? I know because I’ve been there. Things are hard and life is harder still but learning to navigate choppy waters is a must if you want life to let up on you. If something doesn’t go your way, take it in stride. If someone doesn’t choose you, let him or her go. If life isn’t going like it’s supposed to, stop, take note, and then move on knowing that whatever it is that life throws your way, you are fully capable of handling it. Let silence be your guide and your best friend. There is much to be learned during your bout with silence if you’ll only listen.

“Silence is not empty, it is the loudest answer.” Unknown

Not only that, it gives you the ability to get your message across WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!

Try it the next time you want to let someone have what is coming to them or you are chomping at the bit to say your piece. Stop and move in silence.

Have an amazing day.

Showing Up

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“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brene Brown

It is also the hardest thing to do. Pulling the covers over your head, staying in bed and letting the day carry on without you is the norm and putting all your attention on the one thing or couple of things that tell you, not showing up is the way to go. I think we’ve all had those days and for some, it is a daily existence and for others it is a short stop before we pick up and carry on. Whichever the case may be for you, staying put is not going to do it. It takes courage to move on.

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brene Brown

Your first step to showing up for yourself is to show up as you are, fears and all. “Showing up is the act of being present and vulnerable, and courage is the ability to do so despite being afraid.” I realized that I haven’t been showing up for myself these past two weeks. Fear has stepped in and peace of mind is nowhere to be seen. I seem to be wading through thick gooey mud and each step is painstakingly slow if at all. I want the day to go away and staying under the covers is where I would like to spend my days. However, something stopped me in my tracks yesterday. Call it courage, call it intuition, or just my mind telling me to “BUCKLE UP!” and MOVE! It worked.

Today is another day and I am moving for all I’m worth. It’s not the physical kind of moving I’m talking about but the mental and emotional kind. Enough of the self-pity, the negative self-talk, and the “I can’t do this” mentality. I know I can and I will!

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.” Unknown

It is exactly what I’m doing today.

I’m on the move again and I intend to show up for myself with bells on! Taking your power back from whatever is holding you back is a necessary step, letting go of people who bring you down is important but more than that, knowing that you are fully capable of handling whatever comes your way is one big leap towards moving on with life.

“There will be moments in life when showing up for yourself will mean leaving behind those who don’t.” Alex Elle

Show up, take life by the horns, and move forward decisively. Exactly what I’m doing today. The sun is showing up after the storm last night and it seems to be a clear signal to get MOVING!

Have an amazing day.

Stop Shrinking! (Archives)

Did someone say something that rubbed you the wrong way? Did it make you feel less than you are? Did a bad relationship make you feel unworthy and not enough? Did it help to shrink you even further? Does the environment you live in make you feel that you don’t belong? A job where you don’t fit in? Cruel remarks that make you feel smaller than you are?

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” Rumi

However, it happens in this day-to-day existence of ours. It has been said that it’s a cruel world out there and more often than not, it is. It doesn’t always build you up, it doesn’t make you feel worthy and “lacking” is the word that comes to mind. How do you walk tall in a world that doesn’t always care about your feelings, your mental health and more importantly the “YOU” as a person? The answer lies within. If you’re looking for validation from the outside world, you’re looking in the wrong place.

“Learn to love YOURSELF -first- instead of loving the idea OF OTHER PEOPLE loving you.” Unknown

If you only feel worthy when someone gives you a compliment, you are going about it the wrong way. If you are waiting for that special someone to validate love for you, it’s time to take a good hard look at your perception of love and what it means. If a two-timing no good individual can pull the rug from under your feet and leave you feeling like you don’t matter, it’s time to find that strength within, and to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BETTER! Once you do, none of the above will matter. You become stronger, you learn what is important to you and you build yourself up from the inside out which is important. It is your source of comfort and strength but more than that, you won’t be looking for validation from the outside world. It is an inside job and you will start attracting the right kind of people as well.

“You are not enough!” “You are lacking!” “You can’t measure up to what life is asking of you because you don’t have it in you!” Is that your inner critic talking or rather berating you? Yes, it can be loud and it can be destructive if you let it take over. Each time you hear that negative voice within you getting loud, listen but don’t take it to heart and if it gets too destructive, send it packing! Here’s the truth. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE and YOU ARE FULLY CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” Lucille Ball

When was the last time you paid attention to the person you carry around with you? I know I lost track of that person when the two cats moved in and my world was turned upside down. Paying attention to the person who mattered took a back seat and the inner critic had full run so much so that I became smaller than I am and doubts started creeping in. I’m not enough was the message, loud and clear. I listened and ran with it.

“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” Unknown

Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself like you would to someone you love, show yourself some self-care, take time out for yourself, pamper yourself, and stop to smell the roses. Once you do that, you will find that the people who bring you down, the ones who’ve hurt you, and the ones who take you for granted will disappear because others will come in to take their place. You attract what you reflect and better will walk in and want to stay. Your new reality will take some getting used to and letting go of those that no longer matter will sometimes be hard. However, one thing’s for sure, “shrinking” will become a thing of the past. It all starts with loving yourself first.

Until then,

“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” Rena Rose

AND do something about it!

Have an amazing day.

Becoming Your Best Self

I don’t think I am obsessed with becoming my best self but I would like to get halfway there at least. Learning to achieve that goal is not easy because it takes practice and a driven mindset to get there. I am still learning and keeping at it and who knows one day I might say, I did it!

Becoming your best self is not an overnight process and neither does it happen by pressing a button. It doesn’t happen accidentally, it doesn’t happen by chance and it doesn’t happen by waving a magic wand either. It takes action on your part and a commitment to self-discovery and self-development.

“To be your best self you’ll need to first discover who you really are, then maximize your strengths and improve on your weaknesses. You need to completely shift your mindset and take control of your life. When you do, you’ll discover a whole new you.” http://www.tonyrobbins.com

This journey is a hard one. You’ll encounter the good and bad moments, some will be messy and progress will be slow but if you persist and set goals you can achieve anything. Becoming your best self means opening yourself up to challenges, accepting the setbacks and living life to the fullest.

“Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.” Matthew McConaughey

According to notesbythalia.com, you need to practice wellness daily because it goes hand-in-hand with working towards your best self.

Get at least 7 hours of sleep daily. Move your body as much as you can. Eat well. Build healthy habits. Dedicate time to self-care.

You can’t lay in bed and manifest your dreams. It takes action to succeed. Ask yourself, what is success to you? Set value-driven goals and become “razor-clear on what your future vision looks like.” Align your daily habits with who you want to be and the life you want to live. “Boost your overall health, well-being and productivity,” meaning even your smallest daily actions will determine your future self.

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Paulo Coelho

In a nutshell, becoming your best self requires going within to discover the greatness there. It requires strength to bring it to the fore AND it requires courage and hard work to make it shine.

“You are what you believe yourself to be.” Paulo Coelho

Change that mindset from one of negativity to positivity and watch your life take off!

But before you do that:

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, INCLUDING YOU.” Anne Lamont

Then go out and:

BE YOUR VERY BEST SELF!

Have an amazing day.

LIFE!

Life has a certain way of bringing things to the fore and it often does it without giving notice first! One day everything is going fine and the next you wonder what happened and why you’re at where you’re at.

I used to worry about what “life” had up its sleeve and how it was going to affect me. This worrywart syndrome that I have didn’t help much either. Something is going good and I would say to myself, “Wait for it! It’s coming, it’s on the way!” I’m talking about the bad stuff and it never fails because it shows up wearing bells and more!

Perhaps we bring on more of the same when negativity follows us around. These days, I take it as it comes and I offer the other cheek as well! I don’t look for the “bad stuff” to happen. If it does, I decide how I will handle it. Life has a tendency to throw things your way, perhaps it was a boring day up there or wherever they or it is and it’s time to shake things up and sometimes it is party time!

Worrying about things is not going to help matters much. Deciding that whatever comes your way, you are going to handle it and handle it with grace is the way to go. Is “life” giving me a break with that attitude. Nope! It says, “You’ve got lessons to learn and I want to see what you’re made of.”

Bring it on! First things first. I don’t worry as much as I used to. I still do because that goes with the territory, the one of being a worrywart. However, I try not to let it turn my world upside down and inside out. Those days are done it. I am calmer, bolder, braver, and ready to do battle!

Daily writing prompt

What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?

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My One Favorite Quote?

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I love quotes and I don’t just have one favorite. I have plenty that have added to the journey I am on. There is so much wisdom in quotes, in the right ones, and I do learn from and take them to heart.

Okay, let’s see if I can pick one that speaks to me. Hmm…..the one that is truly wise and speaks volumes without saying too much is from Mandy Hale. She is truly exceptional and she is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and social media personality. Not only that, most of her quotes are geared towards women and their well-being. She is also the creator of the online brand, “The Single Woman.”

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes from her collection.

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings.”

I remember seeing this when I was just starting out on my journey of self-discovery. It spoke to me because we are social creatures and some of us need people around us all the time to survive the hustle and bustle of daily life. So being in isolation is not something most of us do well. It took some getting used to and the more I went into isolation, the more I realized what those words meant. After a time, I loved the quiet and the “loneliness.” I could think, I could decipher what I needed to get my life back on track, and I also realized that I was fully capable of handling whatever life threw my way as well.

I don’t have my wings yet and I am still on the path of isolation and loneliness, learning as I go along. I’m hoping that one day soon, those “wings” will magically appear!

One can only hope.

Have an amazing day.

Daily writing prompt

What is your favorite quote?

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A Life Changing Tip

This is nothing new and I’m sure you’ve heard it before. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! Put one foot in front of the other, make sure you shut the door behind you and move forward one step at a time, one day at a time.

I’ve been through two murders, a heart-wrenching breakup, and I survived. I didn’t think I could at first. I stood still where I was as if rooted to the spot and I couldn’t see anything in front of me. The future was cloudy and shrouded in haze AND moving forward just wasn’t possible. The murders were horrific and I was filled with anger and rage. I wanted revenge. So I stayed where I was, played scenes back in my head and it just kept on going. I forgot that I had a life to live, a son to take care of, and a husband. I had a life! At that time, it didn’t matter anymore. I wanted everything to come to a standstill just as I was standing still. However, life kept on moving and this angered me even more. “I’m in pain, why can’t you just stop for a little while?” I learned that life goes on and you have no choice but to climb back on or get left behind.

It took a while before I could do that. I had to let go of the anger and rage first. Accepting that they were in a better place and no longer in pain also helped. It didn’t happen all at once. It took a long time and that’s alright. Take your time and know what works for you.

My life-changing tip? Know that things happen, sometimes horrific, sometimes not as bad, but whatever it is, keep moving forward. If you have to stop and get off for a while, DO IT! However, don’t stay there for too long. There is a saying that goes like this. “Time and tide wait for no man.” It is the absolute truth.

Keep moving forward and stop looking behind you.

I’m doing exactly that.

Daily writing prompt

If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be?

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I’m Not Feeling Well!

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This is an excuse my ex uses to his advantage. He has been using it for a long time now. The man is not only a cheater, a liar, and an all-around two-timer, he pulls out this one card every time he doesn’t feel like doing something.

The man doesn’t realize that “crying wolf” too many times doesn’t work to his advantage. He is very intelligent, a physicist, and anything to do with science he has a handle on but when it comes to the social stuff and how you should handle people he is clueless!

“I’m not feeling well,” is his get out of jail free card so to speak. I know it well, I’ve lived with it for a long time picking up the slack when he was too busy pretending to be sick and galavanting to his heart’s content. No, he is not a good person. What did I see in him? Nothing much at first but he was quite good at pulling the wool over my eyes that I believed every word he said.

Coming back to the question at hand. This is his best excuse and the one he uses often. It means he is too sick to do anything he doesn’t want to do. The problem is, his son is catching up on what this is about as well. The ex was supposed to do something important, had promised (he never keeps his promises), but at the last minute backed out using his worn and tattered card once again. “I’m not feeling well.” The son finds out that he is well enough to go on vacation with his current fling. Anger? Yes, he feels it and so do I. However, there is nothing much you can do with someone who is remorseless and is all about himself.

It takes work on my part to cool the situation down which I have been doing for a long time now. This doesn’t mean I don’t feel the anger, the hurt, and the pain my son feels. There is not much I can do about that GUY! I can only see what I can do to make my son feel that he is important because he is far from feeling that at the moment.

“I’m not feeling well.”

To cry wolf means “to raise a false alarm or give unnecessary warnings.” It also destroys your credibility of which he has none I might add. One day when an actual emergency arises, no one will believe a word he says and that day couldn’t come soon enough!

Now that I’ve had a full-on vent session, I’m feeling so much better!

Next question please……

Daily writing prompt

What is the best excuse you have heard lately?

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