A Sad Day

Photo by Sami Aksu on Pexels.com

It started out as usual. Running around like a chicken with its head off is normal here now that the other two cats have moved in. Mornings are not mine anymore. The meowing starts around 5 in the morning and doesn’t stop until I open my bedroom door and see the two, Shiro and Galli looking at me expectantly. They know the “food lady” is up and they can relax.

My little guy, Chachi, hates this ritual. He used to be the one and only but now finds himself sharing everything with the other two and it is not setting too well with him. He is quieter than usual, keeps to himself, and growls a lot. I put it down to territorial behavior but things escalated this morning.

I got up, fed the two, cleaned the litter boxes, all before breakfast! Then, I brought Little Macho (my guy) his food. He grunted and walked to the window and ignored me. That was the first sign and I should have paid attention but instead I picked him up and whispered to him telling him that I know it is hard for him. He glanced over with hooded eyes and it happened. He slapped me with his paws on both side of my face and I went, “Ouch!” It hurt. I couldn’t believe that he had done what he did. I rushed downstairs and looked for the disinfectant. Yes, I’m a germaphobe! I proceeded to disinfect the sides of my face and luckily it wasn’t that bad. He did break skin in a few places but I’m sure it will heal. What hurt more than that was the fact that my “little sweetheart” was capable of hurting me.

I Googled and it said that it is normal behavior for a resident cat to feel like his safe space has been invaded by strangers and it is also normal for him to direct his aggression towards me as well. The solution or rather suggestion was to keep them separated for a few days. Keep everything separate, litter boxes, food and sleeping space including play area. I had thought they were getting along but I was wrong and now I am sad. The article also went on to say that I should wash my hands after touching the other two so that he doesn’t smell them on me! It seems they need time to adjust and to do it slowly.

SAD? Absolutely. I love my little guy and I am sad that he is feeling left out. I like the other two as well and they are growing on me like barnacles on a rock! The little white one loves hanging around me and this morning I sprayed on some scent after my shower and she watched me and then started sniffing the air like she approved. So I let her smell my wrist and Chachi started growling! Gallahad is learning to play with a tennis ball. His idea of playtime is to let me do all the work! He hits the ball down the stairs and waits till I get it for him. Exactly why he is overweight and loving it!

Now, I have to work at getting all three to play together. It is going to take a few days of separation and I’m not sure how I am going to go about it but I will keep you posted. I have to get Chachi happy again and that is a priority. If there is a will, there is a way as they say.

Fingers and toes crossed and hopefully the scratches heal with no dire consequences!

Have an amazing day.

The Questions

Photo by Download a pic Donate a buck! ^ on Pexels.com

Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships? Why do we gravitate to the same types of people?

These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. It seems that I am drawn to the same types I left behind. It’s been a never-ending cycle and it seems like Groundhog’s Day over and over again to the point that it is horrific and mind-boggling to say the least.

Liars, cheaters and emotionally-unavailable men seem to draw me in like they’re magnetized and I have no willpower when it comes to these types. I walk in gladly like a lamb to the slaughter.

There is a reason so say the experts. They say “opposites attract” and “we are drawn to people who are strong in areas we are weak.” Hmm….there is more to this concept according to them. Two people who have an abusive past will be attracted to each other because they are viewed as equals. However, an abuser is not necessarily attracted to another abuser. He’s attracted to an “abusee” – or someone who will tolerate and enable his abuse. So to make it short and to the point, the “abusee” is familiar with abuse, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse and so she is attracted to someone who gives her what she’s already comfortable with it.”

Lord have mercy!

Is there no way out of this pattern? There is but first you need to know that:

“Simplicity and Complexity need each other.” Unknown

However, there is a way out but not an easy one. You have to work at it with a narrow-minded focus.

Here goes. If you want to attract better, you must be better meaning you need to discard what is within you, the cause for your need to be abused. Find out where it stems from. Your childhood? Adulthood? The experts say look for patterns and don’t sweep what you find under the rug. The only way to learn from it, get past it, is to go through it. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat and attract the same types only in a different body!

This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. As I have said in one of my other article, I am like a heat-seeking missile when it comes to the types I mentioned above. I find them!

Here are some tips from beyourownbrandofsexy.com on how to attract quality or high-value men. First, know yourself well and know what you need in a relationship and what matters to you.

Identify your Needs

Know what works and won’t work for you. Be selective and be ready to discard if something shows up as a red flag. “Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for the next time around.”

Don’t Settle

This is important. We tend to settle when we know that the person is the wrong type only because we tell ourselves that he will change or I can make him change. They don’t change, what they show you is what you get. So how do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? DO NOT let them get close to you. Know what your non-negotiable dealbreakers are and stick to them.

Be your Own Person

This means be your own true authentic self. Say “no” to bad matches. Become your true, authentic self which helps you to gravitate to people who are better matches for you.

Be Persistent

If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence pays. This doesn’t mean being persistent in chasing the wrong types but staying true and waiting for the right one to show up. Dating is a learning experience and unfortunately, you’ll have rejections, bad dates and disappointments AND you’ll have to kiss some frogs but if you keep at it and know what you want, you might just land the man of your dreams.

While you’re working on that, take care of yourself as well. No point letting yourself go because that is not going to do it. Lose some weight if you have to, get fit both mentally and physically, take care of your skin and teeth because one guy did ask me to show him my teeth on our first date! They’re out there. Just know that physical appearance matters so present the best version of yourself.

Now, I have to go figure out the patterns in my life which make me attract the same types over and over again. That’s the cycle I need to break! I definitely want to break this cycle of attracting low-value men and having to kiss frogs and hoping that they’ll turn into Prince Charming. Time to get working to put my best self forward armed with the knowledge of exactly what I’ll settle for.

I swear if this doesn’t work I’m giving up altogether!

Have an amazing day.

A Quote I Live By?

Photo by lil artsy on Pexels.com

Many of you know I love quotes. I find them inspiring and it is a quick pick-me-up when days are not looking like I want it to look like. Just a quote or two and it does the trick of getting me back to where I need to be. Just words you might say. True, but inspiring ones nonetheless.

One quote I live by and have lived by for a long time is this. “Live and Let Live.” Such simple words but it is needed in this world of ours where ugliness and cruelty rules and being different is considered a cardinal sin. This indirect quote “emphasizes coexistence and respect for all life forms.” If you look further, it means let someone live their life as he or she chooses and accept it for what it is. This acceptance bit is hard to come by in some circles.

Racism thrives on viewing individuals as being different because of skin color religious beliefs and or behavioral traits. Anything different in this circle is a no go or looked upon with disdain. I consider racism and racist attitudes the bane of our society. Someone said to me recently, “It will never change, racism will always exist. There is nothing you and I can do about it.” I beg to differ. Our world can be so much better if we can embrace each person for who they are and not for their outward appearance, who they marry and who they choose to be with and their worship practices. It shouldn’t matter but unfortunately it does. Just look at what Trump is unleashing in America and the world. Being “brown” could bring you a death sentence in a concentration camp somewhere far away.

LIVE AND LET LIVE for a better world, for acceptance of all people and for world peace as well. Here’s the thing it starts with you. One small step at a time as I always say. Teach your children the same. It starts at home and it is doable.

Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?