I wanted to say peace but it is nowhere to be seen today. Instead anxiety is taking its place. Why? I don’t know why. It shows up when it sees fit and makes my life a place of unrest and my head fills with unruly thoughts.
The night was fine. I slept like a baby after having done two bouts of yoga, one of the Yin variety and the other to calm the mind down. Both did wonders but here I am again feeling like something is not quite right. Anxiety is defined as an “emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events.”
Perhaps it is just my mind playing tricks on me. It doesn’t like peace because everything moves on an even keel and that doesn’t set too well with it. It likes turmoil when my thoughts churn and move like the waves on a choppy ocean and somehow this movement seems to suit my mind because it is a “monkey” that loves the constant chatter of non-stop movement! Well, it is time to do another round of yoga to calm the mind, get the creative juices flowing and to get into a nirvana state of mind. Wish me luck!
Sometimes we think that silence is just that, a certain quietness where nothing happens. It is a void that is soothing but nothing much comes out of it. I beg to differ. I have found that if you listen carefully, “silence” has much to say.
“It’s been said that actions speak louder than words, sometimes, it’s what you don’t say or do, that sends the loudest message.” Carlos Wallace
Quite often when something doesn’t go our way and we are hurt by another’s actions or words, the first reaction is to let it rip. Let it all out and show them how you feel and during those moments, words are aplenty and so are emotions. However, when all is said and done and you are wrung dry, more often than not you realize that you didn’t achieve anything through those outbursts of the unsavory kind.
“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown
Maturity doesn’t show up wearing bells and it does not say, “Here I am, take me and use me.” It shows up when you least expect it and when you’ve gone though the growing up process. The one that takes you on the ups and downs, the one where you find yourself down on your knees and the one that shows you there is a better way of doing things without going ballistic. It is the quiet gentle knowledge of knowing that you deserve better and you will move on with grace. No shouting or being loud needed.
“And suddenly I stopped explaining, stopped fixing, and just moved on. I learned that silence speaks louder than words. No response is a response. Now, I don’t chase. I don’t care and I let people feel the weight of their own choices.” Unknown
Easier said than done? I know because I’ve been there. Things are hard and life is harder still but learning to navigate choppy waters is a must if you want life to let up on you. If something doesn’t go your way, take it in stride. If someone doesn’t choose you, let him or her go. If life isn’t going like it’s supposed to, stop, take note, and then move on knowing that whatever it is that life throws your way, you are fully capable of handling it. Let silence be your guide and your best friend. There is much to be learned during your bout with silence if you’ll only listen.
“Silence is not empty, it is the loudest answer.” Unknown
Not only that, it gives you the ability to get your message across WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!
Try it the next time you want to let someone have what is coming to them or you are chomping at the bit to say your piece. Stop and move in silence.
I don’t remember his name but it is not important. The meeting took place while I was in high school. He was the caretaker’s son and I met him one day during break time. We were playing some silly game and there he was sitting on a bench staring into space. I recall the smile on his face as he sensed my presence. It was big and bold and somehow didn’t quite fit that small face. I stopped and stared and he said, “Hello!” and that was the beginning.
He was born blind and his eyes looked clouded like there was a veil over them. I was fascinated by them and we talked for a while. The friendship took off and everyday at break time, I was at his place asking questions and listening to him play the piano. One day he played this beautiful melody and called it my song. He had dreams of being a famous pianist and I could see him achieve that dream. He was very talented. We talked about many things and I think I was the only friend he had. Some days after school, I would practice walking around the house with my eyes closed just to see what it felt like to be him. Summer rolled around and there was a break for some time. When school started back up, I couldn’t wait to see him again. The bench where he usually sat was empty. I looked around and there was no sign of him. Then his mother told me he was gone. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but I felt the pain of losing a friend.
Looking back, it was the awakening of compassion and empathy within me. I didn’t know him well but there was a definite connection between us. A chance meeting that would change my life for the better. I would go on to help others but it all began right there when compassion took hold for a fellow human being and empathy did the rest.
Daily writing prompt
Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.
It started out peaceful enough but the two temporary residents, Shiro and Galli, acted as if they knew something was up. They watched as I brought the pet carriers upstairs from the cellar. I could see alarm showing in Galli’s eyes and he took off upstairs. Shiro, on the other hand, sashayed slowly to one carrier, sniffed, looked at me and walked off pretending not to care.
The appointment was scheduled for 1:30 in the afternoon. A good time for a haircut and some styling I thought. They needed it badly. The last time they were at the vet to get their hair done was about two years ago. Galli’s hair was badly matted on his stomach and Shiro was a walking ball of fur!
We, my friend decided to go with me, left on time. The cats were in their carriers quiet as they could be. I was feeling nervous because this time around, it would be done by a lady who specializes in trimming cat and dog hair without using general anesthesia. They would be wide awake and fully aware of what was happening and I knew that Galli wouldn’t put up with it. We got there on time and after introducing ourselves and the cats, we went into the basement. The place didn’t look too clean, there was hair all over the floor. I put it down to a client before us. It was time. I decided that Shiro should go first.
She let out a small meow but was quiet for the most part. The lady got out the shears, she had them in different sizes. After trimming around the face, she took out a battery operated gadget and little Shiro jumped when she heard the noise. I held her close as she went about trimming like she would a sheep. Most of the hair came off and then it was time to work on the belly area. This did not set too well on poor Shiro and she let out a loud meow. Again, I held her close, whispered to her, and she kept still. The butt area was the hardest but it needed to be done. Then she sprayed some disinfection on Shiro’s next to non-existent fur and it was a done deal. The white Persian looked like a rat but most of the matting was now gone. The hair will grow back I was told.
Next was Galli and the big guy let out a yelp and a bark as he was laid on the table. She decided to put a muzzle on him because he was literally spitting, growling, and yowling. This time my friend stepped in and with gloves up to his armpits held him down as she went to work. It was hard to watch. The poor guy was in agony, not from pain but with fear. He started thrashing around and if it wasn’t for the muzzle, he would have let it rip! The friend was strong and held his legs as the lady worked quickly. Just watching them at work sapped me of energy. I also felt sorry for Galli and wanted to comfort him but he was beyond listening and in his world of showing just how pissed he was!
Half an hour later, it was all over. They both looked like wet rats, scared and ready to get out of there. I was totally wiped out and so was my friend. He couldn’t believe just how strong Galli was. Holding him down took a lot of energy and strength. The drive back was quiet for the most part and I wondered how Galli would react once I let him out of the carrier. I expected hissing and spitting. However, he surprised me. He walked out, took one look at me and started purring. The poor guy looked half his size without all that hair and I decided that I would make it up to him for the hell he went through. Evening was spent pampering him and his little sister Shiro. Both acted needy and kept wanting attention. When all was said and done, I was pooped!
Chachi wanted to know who the two new guys were! He didn’t recognize them but he did say he was getting tired of having new buddies show up every time he turned his back. He was ready for some peace and quiet. Plus, he didn’t like the fact that I was cozying up to them. So, I had to spend some time snuggling up to the little Macho so that he would come off his high horse. It worked after some time but by that time I was ready to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and let the world go to pieces!
Some days are stressful and yesterday was one of those days. I checked on the two little ones this morning and they looked fine. They were ready for food and acting as if what they went through was all forgotten. Hmm…that’s cats for you!
One decision I made in the past that has helped me to learn and to grow is to let go of a relationship that wasn’t working. Holding on is human nature and letting go is too but I tend to hold on longer than it is necessary sometimes until I am blue in the face or till the cows come home!
Therein lies all my problems. I knew it wasn’t working, I could see it for what it was but still I held on for dear life. However, the journey of self-discovery I am on taught me some lessons and one of them is that not all breakups are bad. Sometimes it is needed to teach you that “better” exists and it is not only in your mind. Once I started moving forward, I realized that I had it within me to pick and choose the right person I wanted in my life. My heart has all these romantic notions of how a love should be but I am learning that there is more to it than butterflies in your stomach. I tend to wear rose-colored glasses where love is concerned and when that tint wears off, I am left holding the remnants of a broken love affair. It’s off with those glasses and on to what it is really about. It is now about knowing what I want, what I won’t settle for and a love that is “all in” and not the fading kind. I mean, “the here today and gone tomorrow” variety.
Breaking off and going it alone has taught me many lessons but the most important one that has helped me to learn and grow is that I AM ENOUGH as I am. No embellishments needed! Version 2.0 is stronger and more capable at looking for love in all the right places and a royal pain in the you know what!
Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
Did someone say something that rubbed you the wrong way? Did it make you feel less than you are? Did a bad relationship make you feel unworthy and not enough? Did it help to shrink you even further? Does the environment you live in make you feel that you don’t belong? A job where you don’t fit in? Cruel remarks that make you feel smaller than you are?
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” Rumi
However, it happens in this day-to-day existence of ours. It has been said that it’s a cruel world out there and more often than not, it is. It doesn’t always build you up, it doesn’t make you feel worthy and “lacking” is the word that comes to mind. How do you walk tall in a world that doesn’t always care about your feelings, your mental health and more importantly the “YOU” as a person? The answer lies within. If you’re looking for validation from the outside world, you’re looking in the wrong place.
“Learn to love YOURSELF -first- instead of loving the idea OF OTHER PEOPLE loving you.” Unknown
If you only feel worthy when someone gives you a compliment, you are going about it the wrong way. If you are waiting for that special someone to validate love for you, it’s time to take a good hard look at your perception of love and what it means. If a two-timing no good individual can pull the rug from under your feet and leave you feeling like you don’t matter, it’s time to find that strength within, and to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! Once you do, none of the above will matter. You become stronger, you learn what is important to you and you build yourself up from the inside out which is important. It is your source of comfort and strength but more than that, you won’t be looking for validation from the outside world. It is an inside job and you will start attracting the right kind of people as well.
“You are not enough!” “You are lacking!” “You can’t measure up to what life is asking of you because you don’t have it in you!” Is that your inner critic talking or rather berating you? Yes, it can be loud and it can be destructive if you let it take over. Each time you hear that negative voice within you getting loud, listen but don’t take it to heart and if it gets too destructive, send it packing! Here’s the truth. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE and YOU ARE FULLY CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” Lucille Ball
When was the last time you paid attention to the person you carry around with you? I know I lost track of that person when the two cats moved in and my world was turned upside down. Paying attention to the person who mattered took a back seat and the inner critic had full run so much so that I became smaller than I am and doubts started creeping in. I’m not enough was the message, loud and clear. I listened and ran with it.
“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” Unknown
Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself like you would to someone you love, show yourself some self-care, take time out for yourself, pamper yourself, and stop to smell the roses. Once you do that, you will find that the people who bring you down, the ones who’ve hurt you, and the ones who take you for granted will disappear because others will come in to take their place. You attract what you reflect and better will walk in and want to stay. Your new reality will take some getting used to and letting go of those that no longer matter will sometimes be hard. However, one thing’s for sure, “shrinking” will become a thing of the past. It all starts with loving yourself first.
Until then,
“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” Rena Rose
I don’t think there is such a place. Places are interesting and I love the excitement of seeing something new, experiencing the food culture and the people as a whole. I used to travel a lot but those days are over with and traveling is on the back burner now.
I really can’t think of any place I wouldn’t want to visit. Every place has something interesting to offer and I guess with the good sometimes comes the bad as well. I have nothing more to say on this topic and that is rare because I usually have a lot to say! Oh well, next question please!
Daily writing prompt
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?
I don’t think I am obsessed with becoming my best self but I would like to get halfway there at least. Learning to achieve that goal is not easy because it takes practice and a driven mindset to get there. I am still learning and keeping at it and who knows one day I might say, I did it!
Becoming your best self is not an overnight process and neither does it happen by pressing a button. It doesn’t happen accidentally, it doesn’t happen by chance and it doesn’t happen by waving a magic wand either. It takes action on your part and a commitment to self-discovery and self-development.
“To be your best self you’ll need to first discover who you really are, then maximize your strengths and improve on your weaknesses. You need to completely shift your mindset and take control of your life. When you do, you’ll discover a whole new you.” http://www.tonyrobbins.com
This journey is a hard one. You’ll encounter the good and bad moments, some will be messy and progress will be slow but if you persist and set goals you can achieve anything. Becoming your best self means opening yourself up to challenges, accepting the setbacks and living life to the fullest.
“Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.” Matthew McConaughey
According to notesbythalia.com, you need to practice wellness daily because it goes hand-in-hand with working towards your best self.
Get at least 7 hours of sleep daily. Move your body as much as you can. Eat well. Build healthy habits. Dedicate time to self-care.
You can’t lay in bed and manifest your dreams. It takes action to succeed. Ask yourself, what is success to you? Set value-driven goals and become “razor-clear on what your future vision looks like.” Align your daily habits with who you want to be and the life you want to live. “Boost your overall health, well-being and productivity,” meaning even your smallest daily actions will determine your future self.
“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Paulo Coelho
In a nutshell, becoming your best self requires going within to discover the greatness there. It requires strength to bring it to the fore AND it requires courage and hard work to make it shine.
“You are what you believe yourself to be.” Paulo Coelho
Change that mindset from one of negativity to positivity and watch your life take off!
But before you do that:
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, INCLUDING YOU.” Anne Lamont
Both mom and dad have done positive things to further who I am and how I react to the world around me. However, I think it is dad who did something I will never forget and taught me to respect each and every individual regardless of skin color, ethnicity or race.
I remember I was fifteen at the time just emerging out of my tomboy phase. My close girlfriend was a Hindu. She invited me to go along to her temple for Pooja. It stands for worship and paying homage to the gods. I was into different cultures and learning as much about them was my goal at the time. I went along but it was very different from what I was used to as a Christian girl. Church was a sedate affair, however, the temple was different. It was noisy and the colors boomed with vibrancy and it was very crowded. Statues caught my eyes and they were painted in bright colors as well. We walked in and immediately we had to remove our shoes, then we had to break a coconut. It was followed by lighting incense and bowing to the deities and there were other things but I don’t quite remember them all now.
I did what was asked of me but I couldn’t wait to get back home. Once home, I walked in and blurted out to my dad, “It was so strange! I don’t know about Hinduism but it is not my thing!” Actually I used the term, “pagan” to get my point across, belligerence showing on my young face. Dad pinned me with his no nonsense gaze and said, “It is no different from our religion. Yes, they do things a little differently but they are praying to God. It’s all the same.” That took the wind out of my sails! I spent the rest of the evening thinking about what he had said and unknown to him he had taught me “tolerance” that day and that lesson has stood the test of time.
Perhaps, he taught me a bigger lesson and that is to RESPECT every person, every culture and every religion. I’m teaching my son to do the same thing. Here’s the thing, tolerance is not taught in schools, it begins at home.
Daily writing prompt
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.
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