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LOL!

Found this joke online and wanted to share. I think it is hilarious.

Two old farmers were sitting in a front porch swing. One asked the other, “You know that my granddaughter is going to college, and I’m trying to keep up with how she’s doing. But she sometimes talks with just using the initials of what she’s talking about. Like, what she’s studying for.

His old friend asked, “Well, what do they start with?

The grandfather replied, “Well, one starts with “B”-sound, another starts with an “M”, and the other is longer but it starts with “P.”

The friend said, “Oh,” those are easy. The “B” stands for BS, and you and I have shoveled enough Bull-S out of the corral to know what BS is.” The grandfather nodded.

“The “M” one is MS, and that means More of the Same.” Again, a nod.

“And if she gets educated to the end, it’s “PHD” for Piled Higher and Deeper.”

My ex has the last one and I guess that is about right! 🤣

LOL!

I saw this joke and thought it was absolutely hilarious. Enjoy.

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I’m too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

“Have a good day, sir,” replied the trooper.

🤣🤣🤣

LOL!

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I saw this online and it had been laughing out loud! The problem is we are all on the selfsame journey, just a matter of time. LORD HAVE MERCY!

The Senility Prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older (but refuse to grow up) here’s what I’ve discovered…

ONE – I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

TWO – My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

THREE – I finally got my head together now my body is falling apart.

FOUR – Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

FIVE – All reports are in, life is now officially unfair.

SIX – If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN – It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

EIGHT – Some days you are the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.

NINE – I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few.

TEN – Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

ELEVEN – Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

TWELVE – It’s hard to make a come back when you haven’t been anywhere.

THIRTEEN – The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

FOURTEEN – If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

FIFTEEN – When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

SIXTEEN – It’s not hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.

SEVENTEEN – The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

EIGHTEEN – These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter…I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m here after.

NINETEEN – I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU BEFORE OR NOT!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣