Mental health – Site Title

A Gorgeous Day!

I finally made it to the fields yesterday and it was gorgeous! This is the beginning of my fourth week after the operation and things seem to be going fine except for a headache now and then. That bothers me as I never get headaches so I’m wondering if something could be wrong or I’m just a worrywart? I think it could be the worrywart part.

Anyway, I made it to the top of the hill and the view was spectacular. The sky was a bright blue with streaks of white and the mountains were visible in the distance. The trees were holding their own in colors of gold and yellows but the reds were nowhere to be seen. It didn’t matter as I was simply glad to be out there and if I spread my arms like wings, I would fly away! Exactly how I felt. Nature gives me the freedom to fly and my mind clears up from all the clutter that I carry around with me.

As usual, it was quiet there. The apples have been harvested, the crops too. The field was barren and the new haircut seemed to suit it well. I could see for miles around with nothing blocking my view, exactly the way I like it. It was cold but I had my Sherpa-lined jacket on and a scarf around my neck but I forgot my gloves so I shoved my hands in my pockets and that was enough to keep me warm.

I didn’t need the warmth as my heart was singing again and there was a glow surrounding me. I walked to the top of the hill and I didn’t feel any twinges, meaning the pain in the side where I have the wound that is still healing, so I crossed my fingers and hoped it would stay that way. At the top of the hill, I decided not to push my luck and turned back down. It was enough for today and I was happy to see my old friend, “the fields” again.

Tomorrow is another day and if the weather holds, I plan to go further, just a tad further, to see if the herons have gone into hiding. I wonder if the geese and ducks have flown south because it was awfully quiet where I was. There were no V formations flying overhead and no noise to catch my attention. Maybe I’ve missed their annual flight out of here before the cold arrives.

Oh well, I’m grateful that I got to make it out there yesterday and to take a deep breath of whatever nature puts out when the seasons change. Each season has a distinct scent and fall is filled with pumpkins, hay, and apples. A wonderful scent of good things to come.

I walked back feeling elated and nature does that. It gives me a sense of peace but more than that clarity and it was no different yesterday.

Have an amazing day.

The Blind Marine

However, it is not your typical blonde girl joke. I thought it was hilarious.

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

‘Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’

The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

Smart answer!

🤣🤣🤣

A Stressful Two Days

Sometimes the unexpected happens and it shows up when you least expect it. Wednesday dawned like any other day and I told myself I was going to have a nice day, not great, that would be asking too much of “life.”

Anyway, I headed out and did my shopping for things I needed. Everything was fine and I was feeling good so I went looking for a birthday gift. My girlfriend had her birthday last Saturday and since I couldn’t make it, she decided to take me out today to any place I wanted. I got her a pretty bracelet, some skincare items, and a bouquet of flowers. The flowers are sitting in water and it still looks good so I think she will be pleased when I hand it over later today.

Coming back to the unexpected stuff. I got my shopping done, had the gifts I needed and the flowers as well and I even had time to stop for a cup of coffee. I was feeling good about myself when I walked in the front door. Nothing new, Chachi was at his usual place in the kitchen window and gave me one of his looks. This one said, “About time you got home!” Yes, the little brat is lording it over me these days so what else is new.

I went upstairs and changed into my sweats and I heard a noise. It wasn’t loud but it was a noise that signaled something was wrong. I turned on the computer and everything seemed to be fine. Then I noticed the red light blinking on the router. Two lights were off! This was trouble. My phone wasn’t working and the internet was off. I thought this has happened before and it will be back in record time. Think again!

It was a major problem according to what I read online. My cellphone was still working so that was a godsent. It seems my provider had big problems. An excavator at a major construction site had destroyed a fiber optics cable and 28,000 households were without internet, telephone, and TV!

They didn’t know how long it would take and I was climbing walls again. I DON’T like the unexpected but I had to bite the bullet and wait it out. Still nothing at midnight and the news said, they should have it back up and running by 2 in the morning. I went to bed early and hoped by morning everything would be fine again. No such luck.

Morning showed up and that red light was still blinking! Then at 3 in the afternoon, I walked into the office area and there it was, back to normal again! However, there were others out there who were still without TV and the rest of the stuff. It seems that even today, some people haven’t got their regular service back.

You say, “Things happen?” I say, “Bah Humbug!”

It is easy to take things for granted and as a given until something like this happens. I didn’t realize how dependent I was until my TV stopped working! I was running around like a little Chachi not knowing what to do and how to occupy my time! I settled down but by then “STRESS” had taken hold and I was pulling my hair out!

Weirdo? I agree but that is just me, what can I say? I’m back to normal again and I have my smile plastered on my face and I’m binge-watching everything that looks and sounds interesting on TV!

Life is on an even keel again.

Have an amazing day.

On the Move Again!

The recluse habit is slowly taking flight and I’m moving again. I don’t think I got tired of being a recluse and spending time by myself but after the second OP, something changed. I wanted to move and I wanted to fly again.

Thoughts of traveling has crossed my mind again. Nostalgia is kicking in and I can see myself visiting unknown places or even places I’ve been to before. I talked to a friend about it and she wanted to be a willing participant in my escapades.

Then I came up with a brilliant idea to meet new people, not on the dating app but in person. An English conversation group sounded like a fantastic idea so I put the plan in motion. I didn’t expect that much would come out of it but lo and behold, I surprised myself. Lots of people wanted to be a part of this group and today we had our first meeting.

Most of the people are Germans but there were others like me living in Germany and missed speaking English. It was a mixed crowd of more women than men. The two men who showed up were really nice. One couldn’t speak English that well and the other was a banker. The banker had lived stateside for a long time and spoke English fluently. The tennis coach had traveled a lot but his English was passable.

The women were a feisty lot and they loved talking! The hour and a half went by quickly and we knew more of each other than at the beginning. We’ll meet again next week and there will be more men joining in and a husband and wife pair as well. It should be interesting.

Other than that, I’ve decided to meet men again. Dating has been on the backburner since the two surgeries but I was still getting offers to just meet and talk, I think it should be an ok thing. Any viable candidates? I don’t think so but who knows they may just surprise me. It hasn’t happened so far and I’m not holding my breath!

I may resort back to my “recluse” ways if it gets to be too much. For now, I’m moving in the right direction I think but we shall see.

Have an amazing day.

Sometimes…

Yes, I’ve been obsessing about life and all its idiosyncrasies. It never stays the same, does it? Sometimes, it is up and you’re flying high, other times it is down and you hit rock bottom. Is there an in-between? I suppose like everything else in life, you get the in-between where you’re not sure if you’re up or down and wondering when one or the other is going to hit!

Anyway, here are some of my favorite quotes about life and it does speak volumes as far as “life” is concerned.

“Sometimes life doesn’t give you what you want, not because you don’t deserve it, but because you deserve more.” Unknown

I get it but where is my more part? It sure is taking its time!

“Sometimes, life gives you a second chance, because you weren’t ready the first time.” Unknown

Hmm….I am ready now. I don’t need second chances, just show me the way to where the price is!

“Life is sometimes just like a WILLY…..It can be UP, it can be DOWN, but won’t be HARD forever.”

I agree and moving on.

“Sometimes in life, you have to make things happen. That you can change your life if you’re willing to let go of the old and actively look for the new. That even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” Jane Green

You mean like hiding out and pretending to be a recluse? I’m thinking that I need to get rid of that “recluse” habit and start moving!

“Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you’re not just a survivor. You’re a warrior, and you’re stronger than anything life throws your way.” Brooke Davis

I’ve lived through the being strong part, let’s see the rewards start pouring in. Still waiting…..

“Sometimes life doesn’t unfold the way you want. But the detours, heartbreak and closed doors often leads you to something better, It’s not failures – It’s redirection guiding you toward the path you are meant to walk.”

I’ve been walking that path for a long time now, redirect please…..

“Sometimes in life your situation will repeat itself until you’re learned your lesson.” Unknown

OH GOD! That repetition part scares me. Are you telling me that I’ll never get out of this maze that we call life?

AND

“Sometimes what is leaving you, is actually giving you the freedom to fly.” Unknown

I like that one. Freedom to fly is a good thing right? Can we do it without the pain first part?

No can do? I thought so. Enough of “sometimes” for today.

Have an amazing day.

Too Available?

Photo by Konstantin Mishchenko on Pexels.com

Are you? Do you jump in with both feet when someone, a buddy, a family member, and or a stranger needs your help? Do you wear yourself out trying to help them? Do you forget about yourself in the process? Do you wonder what happened when after all the trouble you went through to offer help, you find out that it was all for nothing? The people you chose to help did not show any gratitude and you were left feeling like it was all for nothing?

Welcome to the club of being “Too Available.” Not all of us are built that way. Some of us are and others live to people-please and we take it to a whole new level. I was talking to a friend recently about this problem and he said, “Everybody’s darling is everybody’s a**hole.” It is a well-known idiom meaning, “that trying to please everyone all the time is impossible and ultimately makes you inauthentic or disliked by all.” This phrase is associated with figures like Franz Josef Strauss, and it means”that bending over backward for universal approval leads to a loss of integrity.”

Today’s Lesson:

“Stop being always available to people who are just there for you when it’s convenient for them.” Unknown

I know plenty of said people. Some are close friends and others family members. Knowing that, it doesn’t make the pain any less hurtful, instead I question why some people are made that way. I guess the answer lies in the fact that people are people and each one is wired differently. The friend went on to say, “Nice people usually get the wrong end of the stick.” Well, he’s German so I think that this is what he meant. There maybe some truth to that assumption. I looked it up and this is what I found.

People-pleasing usually fails because you change your behavior to match whatever everyone else wants. By doing that, your boundaries suffer and there is no clear demarcation or lines drawn.

The truth is you can’t please everyone. Coming back to how people are wired and how each one has opposing values, expectations, and in trying to satisfy everyone, you end up satisfying no one.

You lose respect because by trying to accommodate everyone, you are seen as someone who agrees to everything and therefore not someone with clear principles. Basically, too much availability kills your value.

“Make yourself unavailable for unavailable people, who are only available when they want you to be available.” Mintu Kumar

What to do about this problem?

Never Forget This…..

If you’re always available – people stop valuing you.

If you constantly help – they start using you.

If you stay silent when it hurts – they’ll hurt you more often.

If you settle for less – they’ll never offer more.

If you don’t set limits – they’ll take control.

I don’t know who wrote that but he/she hit the nail on the head. The problem is knowing that, are people-pleasers ready to take that advice and learn from it? Or will it go in one ear and out the other when the next people-pleasing situation arises?

I don’t know but I think it takes practice to say NO or to look away and to stop from rushing to help. I’m not there yet but in time I hope I’ll be wearing a different tag and stop being, “Everybody’s darling” and “not everybody’s a**hole!” It is tiring, it is exhausting, and it hurts when things don’t turn out the way you want it to do and some kind of “thank you” is offered, which usually doesn’t happen.

“Stop being available for people who don’t prioritize you and your time.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

This Too Shall Pass

This is an old saying that holds more than a modicum of truth within its confines. When the good times are there, we forget about impermanency and quite often we think that it is going to last forever and it doesn’t always go that way. When the bad times come around, we think it is going to stay until it turns tail and leaves the same way it came in. Nothing lasts forever and understanding this concept is what this saying is about. This well-known adage reflects on the temporary nature of the human condition.

“Two years ago you had problems you don’t even remember. But it seemed like such a big deal at the time, didn’t it? And yet – here you are. This, too, shall pass.” Unknown

I don’t recall when but I’ve been through the cycle of thinking it was a big deal at the time and like that quote, it vanished without a trace.

It takes different forms. Sometimes love moves in and you think forever is in the cards but sometimes that “forever” is just in the imagination. It was never meant to last. Sometimes, one door closes and you wait for that door to open back up but it stays shut and in its place another one opens but not before you learn what pain is about. It comes when you least expect it and it leaves when it sees fit. Sometimes life is on an even keel or so it seems until it turns the tables on you and you are faced with turmoil and chaos.

This too shall pass? Absolutely. It always does if you wait long enough and you give it time.

“Change is never painful. Only resistance to change is painful.” Buddha

Don’t I know it! I hate change but it arrives whether I want it to or not. I am learning to let go of resistance but it will take time.

This next one I love!

“This too shall pass…

It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.” Unknown

I’ve never had one of those but I’ve heard it’s painful. Too painful!

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. G. Lourie

Good one to remember when a painful episode decides to pay you a visit. It’s not the whole chapter and there’s more to the story so let it unfold as it will if you allow it.

This last one I like a whole lot!

This too shall pass….

“The heaviness. The confusion. The days that feel like they’ll never ease. Nothing stays the same forever, not the pain, not the doubt, not the storms in your head. You’ve made it through hard seasons before, even when you thought you wouldn’t. Hold on. Keep going. What you’re feeling right now isn’t the end of the story, it’s just a chapter.” Unknown

I know this all too well, however, this too shall pass is the last thing on my mind when things go down south but slowly and surely it is taking form and HOLDING so that the next time something unsavory happens I will remember,

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

And hold on tight to what it means!

Have an amazing day.

Yesterday

It was a blur! I had my pre-op, the second one in four weeks. It was a prep for the second OP coming up and it scared the hell out of me. I was thinking that it would be similar to the last one but they turned the tables on me!

I did go through the routine of giving blood for blood tests, an urine sample was taken and then they wanted a swap. First one in the mouth, the next in cheek and then the last one had me climbing walls again! Guess where? It was where the sun don’t shine! I don’t know why but needed to be done that was what I was told.

The part that scared me was the talk with the anesthesiologist. He seemed like a nice guy, much too young, and I hoped that he knew what he was doing. I had my questions as usual and he was patient. Then I asked the all important question, “Did anyone die from general anesthesia? His answer, “I’ve been doing this for some time and I’m one of the youngest on the team and in all my years, I’ve had one person die.” My eyes flew open and he noticed. Immediately he said, “That person was a 100 years old. If you’re young and fit, you usually don’t have any adverse symptoms.” I’m not that young, I wanted to add but thought all that yoga must be doing its job! Adverse symptoms like dying? I didn’t ask that question. I was feeling jittery at this point and to add fuel to the fire he said, “There are three risk factors.” What?!! “You don’t have to worry, we’ll keep a close eye after the OP and if one of those symptoms hit, we have ways of alleviating them. We are very careful.”

“I was told that I could go home the same day.”

“That all depends on how well you do after the OP. You need to have someone to drive you home and someone there to watch over you.”

“For how long?”

“24 hours”

“I have someone for a few hours but not for 24 hours.”

He looked up from his writing and said, “Perfect, you will have to stay here.”

My head was now full of questions. Why 24 hours? This was supposed to be a simpler procedure than the last one.

I asked, “How long will this procedure take? I was told it would be shorter.”

“Two hours.”

What?!!! Why?

“We need to go in, do what we need to and look around to see if there are any other problems.”

“Everything seems to be fine. I am healing fine.”

“We’ll know once we go in.”

BAH HUMBUG!

Next was the doctor, not the one who will be doing the surgery but a member of the team. What is this team thing? I want to talk to the actual guy but no can do. I asked why this procedure will take the same amount of time when I was told otherwise. His no nonsense approach was, “You are in capable hands and we will do what is necessary to get you on your way.”

Did that quell my already restless mind? NOPE!

The date and time is set. If I get sick before then, no surgery and it will have to be rescheduled, otherwise it’s a go.

Time to pack my bag again, meet with the cat sitter to give some instructions, get the house ready including the main area where I will be spending a lot of time because walking up and down the stairs should be kept to a minimum, get the groceries I need for the week, and SCREAM!

No workouts for the first few weeks, do the seven rounds around the garden but not more, and TAKE IT EASY!

Here we go again and I am not a happy camper.

Let’s see how this one goes. If I don’t die, you’ll be hearing from me.

Have an amazing day.

Expect the Unexpected

“In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.” Joan Rivers

True? I am beginning to believe that life doesn’t always flow on an even keel. It may for a while and then it gets turned upside down because the unexpected arrives. Sometimes those things are of a minor nature and you can weather them without getting your underwear in a wad! At other times, however, the unexpected is exactly what you didn’t want to happen. Whichever version it is, the unexpected arrives more often than not and we just have to deal with the consequences.

If you’re like me, I don’t like the unexpected! It usually means I have to learn another lesson and since I’m as stubborn as a mule, it takes TIME and EFFORT and a certain mindset to move me in the right direction.

What happened? Well, if you’ve been reading my posts you know that I love certain things. Like walks in nature, meditation, yoga, sports, keeping fit, and going to the cafe for a cup of coffee. It gets me out of here and I love the cozy atmosphere there and meeting friends was always a delight. We would have a cup of coffee, sometimes breakfast, and talk to our heart’s content.

This morning, I went into town to do a little shopping for the weekend and wanted to have a cup of coffee at my favorite place. Guess what? It was closed and not only that, the signs were gone, the outdoor sitting area was empty, and the inside was bare! Everything was gone. A fly-by-night operation? I don’t think so but something must have happened. I felt a tinge of sadness go through me. I don’t like changes as well. Anyway, the other option is the bakery, the one where the cheesecakes sit and beckon! I did go there. Ordered my cup of coffee and they asked, “A slice of cheesecake?”I nodded in the negative and took my seat.

It felt different but it was a doable option. It wasn’t as cozy as the cafe but it will do for now. I sipped my coffee and listened to the noise. Yes, noise. There were people lined up waiting to be served, people chatting up a storm in their booths, and there was constant movement. Hardly cozy, but I reeled in my discontent and finished my coffee. This was unexpected but things change and I need to go with the flow I told myself. Who knows maybe another cafe will open up. Having made peace with the situation, I walked out and headed to my favorite seafood place. They have really fresh seafood and I’m a regular there.

BAM! They were closed as well. There was no sign on the door, the lights were out, the counters empty, and looked like they were closed as well! This was just too much! Calm down I told myself. Maybe, just maybe, they will be back but something tells me that they are history as well!

“Don’t miss out on a blessing ‘cos it isn’t packaged the way you expected; expect the unexpected.” Unknown

What’s the blessing? I DON’T KNOW! I just want them back.

Breathe, take a long slow breath, and let it go.

“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” Oscar Wilde

Bah humbug! Ok, breathing for all I’m worth. Letting go as well. Maybe there will be a miracle when I show up in town the next time around and there will be another cafe and a fish shop waving at me like the cheesecakes do.

Have an amazing day.

The Cheesecake Standoff!

Photo by Yulia Oliinychenko on Pexels.com

I have a cheesecake fetish, plain and simple. Battling this addiction has been a big problem. I call it an addiction because if I go by the bakery where they sell this scrumptious piece of nothingness, I CAN’T SAY NO!

It is nothing fancy, just the plain variety with no embellishments. No cream, no fruits, no nothing, but it is the plain kind that I love. Just one bite and I feel the heavens opening up! I call it my one sin. Pastries are out, cookies are out, chocolates are out, and other kinds of cakes are out. I don’t crave them like I do cheesecake. Add a cup of coffee to it and my eyes light up like a Christmas tree!

Well, a month ago I summoned my willpower in and we had a heart to heart. My willpower worn. Cheesecakes were out the door as well. I turn a blind eye whenever I walk past that bakery and sometimes the women who work there call out saying they have fresh cheesecake! That’s how well-known I am.

Anyway, I haven’t had cheesecake for over a month. I needed to get ready for my medical procedure and that required a strict diet. One of my own making. I decided I was throwing everything out that would jeopardize my health just to help the doctors along. I was fit as a fiddle when I went in and breezed out of there looking like a thousand bucks! Why not a million? Well, that would be stretching it. Anyway, I am recovering well. However, the second procedure is about three weeks away and I need to stick to my diet, more than the first time because I’m not allowed to do any workouts. Bah Humbug! Yes, that’s my favorite word of the moment and since I don’t cuss I’ll stick to Bah Humbug. I think it has a nice ring to it.

Coming back to the cheesecake, I drove the car today. If I feel any pain then STOP was what the doctors told me. I drove it last week but just around the village and I did fine, but didn’t have the guts to go any further. Today, I got tired of moping around the house. I got in and started the car. It came to life and was ready to go. We drove to the next village where my favorite cafe is and right across it is the bakery. The cafe was closed for some reason but the bakery, well, it was ready for me. There in the window staring back at me were two slices of cheesecake! They seemed to be taunting me.

Should I?

What’s the excuse? The weather is nice, the sun is shining, and a slice would go perfectly with a cup of coffee.

I walked in and the women smiled.

“Long time no see.”

Hmm….

“Cheesecake? We have more in the refrigerator.”

The other people waiting in line eyed me.

“Just those two pieces please.”

“Sure? We can get you more.”

God, I wanted the whole cheesecake! Meekly, I mumbled, “Just two slices please.”

They smiled again knowing full well that the gates of hell was slowly but surely opening! Just kidding.

I walked out with the cheesecake dreaming of a fantastic afternoon.

Here we are, it is around 2 in the afternoon and I haven’t touched them. They are sitting in the fridge and every time I open the door, they GRIN! I just did my 7 minute walk in the garden thinking that will help but it is not working. I want to throw caution to the wind and just dive in.

My willpower is whispering or rather roaring in my ear saying, “You’ve been so good, why throw it all away!”

Will it win? What do you think?

The sage continues……

Have an amazing day.