Found this joke online and wanted to share. I think it is hilarious.
Two old farmers were sitting in a front porch swing. One asked the other, “You know that my granddaughter is going to college, and I’m trying to keep up with how she’s doing. But she sometimes talks with just using the initials of what she’s talking about. Like, what she’s studying for.
His old friend asked, “Well, what do they start with?
The grandfather replied, “Well, one starts with “B”-sound, another starts with an “M”, and the other is longer but it starts with “P.”
The friend said, “Oh,” those are easy. The “B” stands for BS, and you and I have shoveled enough Bull-S out of the corral to know what BS is.” The grandfather nodded.
“The “M” one is MS, and that means More of the Same.” Again, a nod.
“And if she gets educated to the end, it’s “PHD” for Piled Higher and Deeper.”
My ex has the last one and I guess that is about right! 🤣
Sitting outside in the garden is just as nice as taking a walk out in nature. Today, it is exceptionally wonderful because the sun is out, there is a cool breeze blowing and a cloudless blue sky adds to the pretty picture. I’ve got my second cup of coffee on the table, a notepad and pen just in case I get some bright ideas. I love jotting them down before it flies out of my head never to be seen again.
All is quiet where “the three” are concerned. I’m talking about Larry, Curly, and Moe! Just kidding. I’m talking about the three cats, Chachi, Galli, and Shiro. They’ve had their food, have been cleaned and brushed and are taking their midday naps. It is peaceful for a change.
The garden is looking fantastic in all its spring glory. The cherry tree has lots of blooms, the fig tree is greening, the Magnolias have done blooming and the petals are now lying like a carpet of pink and white on the grass. It means work clearing them up but each year they put on a show and the neighbors appreciate their beauty as well. My neighbor told me last week that she loves standing at her kitchen window with coffee cup in hand and looking at that tree. According to her, it brings or rather puts a smile on her face. I can understand that because nature has a way of doing that if you just stop and stare for a while.
The Camelia bush is in full bloom dripping with white blossoms. It’s interesting how this plant stays green all winter and when spring creeps around, the blossoms arrive. They are gorgeous. The tulips are in full bloom as well in a myriad variety of colors. The apple tree is greening and it will just be a matter of time before it starts blooming as well. Last year, it was a bumper crop. Maybe, this year it will take time out. Two years ago, I planted some ground crawlers as they are called here and each year they take my breath away. This year is no different. When they bloom, the ground is nowhere to be seen. It is covered in shades of pinks, purples, and whites. It’s the same this year and it is beautiful. The roses are budding as well and when they do arrive in different shades, the garden will be filled with the scent of vanilla and something sweet. Another thing to look forward to.
The insects are not out in full force yet but they will show up sooner or later. For now, I am enjoying the quiet, the peace, the sounds of nature all around me and I can stay here forever but it’s time to go see what the little rascals are up to.
I woke up to Chachi, the cat, having dry heaves! It doesn’t happen often but it did seem that way this morning because Shiro, the Persian cat, had a problem yesterday. She threw up and had a slight case of the runs. Galli, the British long-haired cat, was alright and keeping a watchful eye on everything.
I spent most of yesterday doing the wash, cleaning up behind them, and taking care of Shiro who seemed to be out of sorts and spent the day sleeping and looking poorly. Stressful? Absolutely.
This morning, Chachi decided to get in the act and had me up at 5 a.m. and after cleaning up, I noticed that he had been eating too much of the dry food so I removed it and decided that I must be doing something wrong as far as these three are concerned. Just as I suspected, the other two were waiting outside the door looking at me like I was manna from heaven or rather, it is where their manna comes from!
ME: “Cool it guys! I have some cleaning to do before I can get to you two.”
SHIRO: “How come Chachi gets to stay with you all night and we have to be outside. It is totally unfair!”
GALLI: “I’m not saying anything but she has a point there.”
I wasn’t in the mood for small talk! I ignored them and got what I needed to clean the mess up. Then I removed the dry food and gave him just wet food until his stomach settles down. Not too happy with the situation, I took a deep breath, piled my hair on my head, and decided to go get my cup of coffee. Just then I noticed that the litter boxes needed to be cleaned up! The day was taking off and leaving me behind. Okay, it was something that needed to be done so I did it. I disinfected it and added some deo to it. As I was heading downstairs, I noticed that Shiro had jumped into the litter box and was lying in it! The girl has a problem. She looked up at me with googly eyes like she was thoroughly enjoying it.
ME: “What’s the matter with you?”
SHIRO: “It smells so good here! I can sleep in it.”
GALLI: “She never used to do that when we were with daddy.”
SHIRO: “That’s because daddy never kept it this clean!”
CHACHI: “Mom, what are they up to?”
SHIRO: “Would it help if we called you mom?”
ME: “Nope!”
GALLI: “I know what your problem is. You need to let your hair down. Piling it on your head like you do is not a good look for you. If you want the guys to come calling, wear it down.”
CHACHI: “Thank you Galli. I keep telling her the same thing but she never listens. We should talk about the creeps who come calling! I can go on and on.”
ME: “Enough! Don’t worry about me. Stop throwing up, having the runs, and expecting to be fed all the time. You’ve had breakfast and now you’ll have to wait for several hours before you get more food. Is that understood?”
GALLI: “Bummer! I was enjoying the all you can eat buffet! Anyway, that attitude doesn’t suit you as well. Try being nicer, things might just change for the better.”
Ignoring the three, I headed for the kitchen. I NEEDED my coffee real bad. Shiro and Galli followed.
SHIRO: “We need to talk.”
Galli looking wise with his orange eyes took a seat on the stairs.
ME: “Guys, we are not talking. It is way too early and I don’t want to hear it!”
Them in unison.
“We want to go back to daddy! This is no fun and that little guy up there hasn’t been brought up too well. He growls and hisses all the time and you never say anything. Instead, you kiss him all the time and keep mommy’s boy protected from us. This is a no go!”
“Okay, we will have a pow wow later and I promise we will come to a solution. I need my coffee now.”
SHIRO: “What about Easter?”
ME: “What about it?!!”
GALLI: “Give us some special food and if you do, I will grant you a wish. One that brings the right guy into your life. You will be very happy, I promise.”
ME: “What are you?!! A fairy or rather a genie in disguise?”
GALLI: “I am more than meets the eye.”
ME: “Oh Lord, have mercy. Chachi thinks he knows everything and now, I have a budding lord only knows what on my hands!”
Coffee made, I headed back upstairs. Walking into the bedroom Chachi pipes up.
What was that about?
ME: “Don’t worry about it. Come give mommy a kiss.”
It has been said that, “compliments are a dime a dozen.” It just means that, “flattery or positive remarks are very common, easily obtained, and therefore hold little special value or sincerity. It also implies that “such praise is unremarkable, abundant, and often dismissable because it is not unique or deeply earned.”
However, some compliments have the power to lift you up, make you feel worthy, and at times more than enough. They are also, “powerful, uplifting words that validate and encourage, often serving as small, heartfelt gifts of kindness.”
My day started out on a rushed note. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off and I didn’t see it slowing down either! Yesterday, had been a stressful day as well. My ex showed up as he sometimes does. However, this time around he had a big attitude on his shoulders and looking to discard it on someone as quickly as possible. I came into view and was fair game, I suppose. Our meeting didn’t go well and he left after a short time leaving me to feel like I was not enough and somehow sorely lacking. In what? I don’t know, he just makes me feel that way. Needless to say, I was feeling down and I knew it was going to take an uphill battle to get myself back up there again.
Anyway, I woke up to chaos this morning. The three rascals were up early. Moe, Larry and Curly! Just kidding. They were begging for attention and I was ready to escape the mayhem! So, I took off after breakfast to have some time to myself. The sun was shining and it was going to be a beautiful day. I got my shopping done and decided to stop for coffee at my favorite cafe. A great cup of Italian coffee and a bread roll was just the thing to pep things up. Things were starting to look up. Then I headed to the bakery and got two pieces of cheesecake. Yes, THINGS were definitely up and up! It was going to be my treat for later with a nice cup of coffee. The fish store across the street beckoned and I headed there next. They know me well because I’m one of their best customers. I love fish and they have a fresh supply everyday.
The boss wasn’t there but his assistant was. He asked how I was doing and I answered in the affirmative. Just as I was getting ready to pay he said,
“You have beautiful eyes!”
I was not expecting that. I had a bad night so my eyes were definitely reflecting that I thought. Probably, bloodshot as well! He saw the surprise on my face and repeated,
“You do have lovely eyes. They shine!”
Okay guys, those days of “sparkling eyes” are over I thought so this compliment definitely took me by surprise but it landed where it should! My day was definitely starting to look up and in a very nice way, I might add.
I paid, thanked him and left with a smile on my face.
“Sometimes just one little compliment can make someone’s entire day.”
I took my usual walk when I came back home and the sunshine felt just a tad different. It touched my face like a warm caress and the feelings of not being enough the evening before had all but vanished. There are many kinds of compliments, flippant ones with not much thought put into them, ones that put a smile on your face, compliments that make your day and that guy didn’t know it but he had just helped to bring me back up!
“Build someone up. Put their insecurities to sleep. Remind them they’re worthy. Tell them they’re magical. Be light in a too often dim world.” Unknown
If you have a chance today, give out some compliments. You never know how it is going to land and just maybe, it has the power to lighten someone else’s load. A phrase meant to praise can sometimes be a powerful tool. I have to keep that in mind as well.
“YOU are amazing and strong and brave and wonderful-remember THAT today.”
The little guy didn’t know what hit him but life as he knew it is gone and he has to put up with two intruders! He hadn’t see them in a long time so they are strangers again. Mommy is acting strange and is trying to butter them up and THAT is not settling too well with the Little Macho. It was talk time. Lord, have mercy!
Chachi: “Mom, why are they here? I don’t like them touching my stuff and using my toilet!”
Me: “You have to be nicer to them. They are missing their daddy.”
Daddy is my son who has moved away because of a new job and he has an apartment that doesn’t allow cats. It will take some time to rectify that situation so in the mean time, I am stuck with them. Chachi, the brat, just has to cool it and learn to share. There are three litter boxes in the house but for some reason, the two love using his!
Chachi: “I don’t think they were brought up too well. The big guy, Galli, hasn’t learned how to use the toilet yet and that little white one, Shiro, thinks toilets are beauty salons! She loves sticking her nose in them!”
Me: “I think she likes clean toilets. I noticed she was in the bathroom after my shower and was sniffing the air like it was something wonderful. Just part of being a girl. You should try to be friends with her.”
Chachi: “Grr! No way that is going to happen. I DON’T LIKE HER! I can tolerate Galli but I want you to stop kissing his forehead!”
Me: “Can you help me just a little? What’s with the hissing? You sure do act big for your size.”
Chachi: “Mom! I can take them both with one go!
Me: “Okay, no fighting. No hissing. No growling, and no “I’m the big man crap!” If you are nicer to them, you get extra kisses tonight and you get to cuddle with Mommy.”
Chachi: “Well, I get that anyway. Okay, I will try but you have to stop kissing them!”
ME: “Deal!”
I’ll sneak in those kisses when he’s not looking! They need loving too.
This morning there was a definite turnaround. The Little Brat has been out there for about an hour now. When I walked up the stairs to check on him, he was on the floor with Galli and they were trying to figure out how to make the ball move in the cat toy. Shiro walked past with a flippant glance at him and he didn’t hiss!
I’m hoping that the “white flag” will survive the day and they become friends.
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I’m too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, “Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”
It is going around here and there is no stopping it no matter how hard I try. Some of you may know that I have three cats now. One is my own called Chachi, or rather Little Macho and sometimes Little Einstein. He is one smart cookie but he’s not too happy these days and that is putting it mildly. The other two belong to my son who has moved away to pursue the rigors of having a new job and cats don’t fit into that equation, not at the moment anyway. Hopefully, in six months. Yes, you heard right. I will be playing babysitter for that amount of time or maybe even longer. The two in question are, Shiro, the white Persian who looks sweet, pretty, and spoiled as they come! She is quiet until something rubs her up the wrong way and then her claws come out. Right now, Chachi seems to be bringing out the “not so nice her” for some reason. The other partner in crime is Gallahad, a dark grey British long-hair with orange eyes. He looks menacing at first glance but is a sweetheart at his core.
The two moved in here about three weeks ago and life hasn’t been the same since then. When once I was surrounded by calm, chaos reigns supreme now! Keeping the place clean from the minute I get up, feeding all three, and keeping them happy seems to be my daily routine. It is wearing me out but I love challenges so I am trying my best and sometimes my best is not enough as I am finding out.
This morning I woke up to my little guy running around the bedroom. He decided that I was sleeping too long and it was time for mommy to wake up and get going. He wanted to see what the other two were doing. They are not friends yet, however, the “thaw” is taking place slowly but surely. I wasn’t too pleased with his method of waking me up so I told him to cool it. He did, but decided he’d try a different strategy. He threw up on the floor! I jumped out of bed and wasn’t too pleased. First, I had to clean up the mess. Then, I heard them. The two outside the door striking up their chorus of, “Where are you? We are hungry!” I walked out of the room and asked, “What do you two want?”
The answer, “What do you think?”
Then I noticed that the litter box was full! It couldn’t get any worse? It did. One had missed his or her mark and it was there right on the floor! I cleaned up all the litter boxes, disinfected them all before breakfast and I was not in a good mood. Then it was feeding time. They got their food, ate like they hadn’t been fed for weeks! Little Snort, that’s my guy, was behind the bedroom door demanding that he be let out. Lord, have mercy!
It was time for my cup of coffee and breakfast. I made it and walked back into the bedroom to listen to news and to see what was going on in the world, more specifically what Taco Trump was up to. Nothing new, he’s doing his normal, talking out of both sides of his mouth. They (Iranians) are good and smart people and the next, they are evil and we are going to blow them to kingdom come! Time for him to go? What do you think?
Anyway, by now all three were in symphony demanding to be let out or let in depending on their standpoint. It was time to get the day started. I walked out looking like Aunt Jemima on one of her worst days to tackle the cleaning. First, it was vacuuming from top to bottom, then mopping the floors, taking out the trash, and making sure the “cats” were all clean. What a day and it is just starting.
Chachi wanted to play with his best buddy, Galli. They have a love hate relationship and that means keeping a vigilant eye on them. Shiro, like a good little girl ate her food, and is now sleeping by the window. Guess what? Snow has moved in, it wasn’t in the forecast, and is coming down.
Weekdays and weekends are all rolled into one as far as I am concerned. I HOPE they learn to love each other and my days and nights get better. I can hope but the three marauders are not complying and that right there is the problem.
Photo by Jose Ricardo Barraza Morachis on Pexels.com
Yesterday was a stressful day. I had to take my car to the car repair shop to get the airbag replaced. It had a recall on it. Yes, that was frightening so it needed to be done. I should have bought the new car? The thought did cross my mind but I pushed it away since I like the car I have and wanted to hold onto to it.
I roped a friend into going there with me. It was the guy from Chile. He had just got back from spending summer in Chile and he hates cold weather! We wanted to catch up on things, plus I like him. Just a nice guy who goes out of his way to be helpful. He followed me with his car as I drove mine to the workshop. Once there, they told me it would take about three hours so we decided to go get some breakfast and headed to a couple of dealerships to LOOK at cars, sort of window shopping but not looking to buy. I did see a few cars that I really liked but I stuck to my decision and just glossed over them.
After a nice breakfast and a good talk, we headed back to the workshop. One other thing, the workshop was supposed to replace the headlight on the driver’s side as well but after three weeks of waiting, they told me the part was in but it would take another two weeks before someone could replace it. I wasn’t too happy with the delay but went along with it. The cost would be around 2,500 euros for one headlight! Anyway, I was told yesterday that they couldn’t replace the headlight because there was a defect and the NEW part had to be sent back. When will they get a replacement? No idea, it could be one week, tomorrow, or at the end of April! I was getting PISSED but decided to bite the bullet. However, they would replace the airbag.
Once there, they told me that it would be done at no cost and I only had to pay for the cleaning. The car was spotless and my friend said, “It is a dark brown car, I thought it was black!” Right, that’s because it hadn’t been cleaned for quite a while. Anyway, I paid for the cleaning, thanked them with a promise from them that they will call as soon as the new part comes in. So far, so good.
My friend followed me home just to make sure there were no problems and then left. I was pleased as punch with the way things were going. Then at 5:30, I got a call from the workshop. “Can you come by here early tomorrow morning?”
ME: “Why?”
Receptionist: “We need to fix something.”
ME: “What?!!” Irritation trying to get the upper-hand.
Receptionist: “They made a mistake and installed the wrong airbag!”
Ok folks, this wasn’t any fly by night operation. It is a reputable workshop which specializes in my type of car.
I was mad and I did tell them that. They said it wouldn’t take that long to rectify the problem.
ME: “Is it safe to drive the car?”
Receptionist: “Hmm….it SHOULD be safe. Just don’t drive it too much tonight!”
I turned to Google and it said, driving a car with the wrong airbag is dangerous and it could cause some severe injuries if it deploys!
Now, I am all stressed out. Should I drive the car? I don’t know. Most probably I will. The same friend will come by and follow me there just to make sure that the airbag doesn’t explode in my face! Just kidding or maybe not.
Update: I didn’t get much sleep last night. I tossed and turned with airbags floating by in pieces in front of my eyes! This morning, I drove there feeling jittery. My friend followed and he was mad as well. We got there early and they were very apologetic. It seems, there was someone else with the same last name and that was how the mistake happened. Anyway, this nice guy took my keys and promised that it would be done in minutes and as promised he walked back in with the keys in five minutes! It was done. Then to my surprise, they told me the headlight came in yesterday and they could replace it after Easter! Wow, that was good news.
Sometimes worrying doesn’t bring anything but unwanted stress. Just tell that to my hyperactive mind! Getting it to heel takes superhuman effort. All’s well that ends well? We shall see if the part they got in is fine and they get it fixed. Fingers and toes crossed!
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”
The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back to the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled, “The Meaning of Dreams.”
Enough is enough? Today is that day and I’ve decided to take some time-out and to pamper myself instead of catering to everyone else. The “everyone” meaning the three cats who are keeping me company from the moment I wake up to the time I go to bed and in-between!
Waking up this morning to one cat scratching at the bedroom door, the other knocking and the one in the bedroom meowing, “Mom, it’s time to get up!” told me that it was time to take some time for myself and to blur the cats out for an hour or two.
I had breakfast as usual and did my routine like I do every morning. Feeding the little rascals, cleaning up after them, listening to their complaints, and wondering what to say when the “white one” cries, “WHERE IS MY DADDY?!!”
Today, it was going to be “my” time to enjoy myself. I decided to go to town and have a nice cup of coffee at the cafe and people watch. The sun was shining and a perfectly wonderful day to do just that. I made it there just as the shops were opening. First, I headed to the pet store and stocked up on more cat food, yes, I spoil them. Then I picked up some cat toys. It was time for that cup of coffee. Walking into the cafe, I noticed that I was the only one there. It was still early. My favorite server was there with a smile on his face. He’s from Argentina and we’ve talked before. He asked, “Alone, today?” Answering in the affirmative, I ordered my cup of coffee. He then introduced me to this other guy as his brother. A cute guy who was just learning the ropes. We talked and then my coffee was there. They left me in peace to enjoy it.
Looking outside, I noticed that it was getting busy. The bakery across the way was jam-packed. It’s the place where I get my cheesecake and I could see them, the cheesecakes sitting on the counter and winking at me! I quickly looked away. I’ve been cheesecake free for a week now and I plan to keep it that way. So I turned my attention to the people. It was interesting. Most had their attention diverted to their phones. They were either looking at something or talking on it. Others seemed to be in a hurry. Some were laden down with big bags of groceries, while others were rushing somewhere. I was glad that I had nowhere to go. I sat there daydreaming as I slowly enjoyed the cup of Italian coffee. It was really good.
The break was doing me good. I could feel myself calming down and before I could get into a nirvana state of mind, I decided to pay up and make my way home. The plan was to go home, change into sweats and head to the fields, a wonderful addition to a stress-free day.
Just as I walked in, I heard, “We want to go home!” It was the white Persian and the dark-colored British long hair. Guess, they had enough of putting up with Chachi, the macho. My little guy was up in arms as he belted out, “SHE’S A B**CH!”
Lord, have mercy! There goes my peace out the window. After calming them down, I put on my walking shoes and headed out determined to salvage the day. As I closed the door behind me and headed out, it felt peaceful again. I will deal with whatever comes my way LATER! Now, it is my time and nothing else matters.
INVEST IN YOURSELF. Here’s the thing, no matter how stressful life gets, take time-out for yourself. You are worth it and your future depends on it.
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