It is one of the hardest things to do. You’ve got a plan in hand, all set to go, you take off and then you come to a screeching halt! What happened? Life did. Your focus is not on what you need to get done, the noise surrounding you is too loud, it is hard to concentrate and “giving up” is less work and easier to do. You are at a standstill not knowing which direction to take or worse still, you don’t have the energy to carry on.
“Starve your distractions, feed your focus.” Unknown
How do you starve your distractions? First, what are distractions? They are defined as, “things like technology (phones, social media, websites, YouTube, video games, Netflix), other people, or noises around you,” all vying for your attention and quite often they win.
“Stay focused on your goals and ignore the noise.” Unknown
Not easy to do, I know. I’ve let distractions get the better of me and what I could have achieved in a short amount of time took forever and a longer route to get there. You have a plan? If not, make one. You want to get somewhere? You’ve got to focus. Here’s the truth. If you don’t focus, you’re left by the wayside. Tony Robbins once said, “Your life is controlled by what you focus on.”
Focus on the good things and you get more of the same. Focus on doing better and you will. Focus on what’s in front of you and you’ll start moving forward.
FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!
Oh, one more thing.
“You decide how to show up, and you’d better come correct: the way you look, what you say, how you act and react. No excuses! Get in front of the mirror and own what you see. You may have to drag your fabulousness out of hiding, but it’s there.” Alyssa Edwards
AND
“The more you focus on you, the better you become.” Unknown
Cut out the noise and the excuses. Zero in on what you want. You’re allowed to waver now and then but get back on track. FOCUS, and you’re halfway there, the rest needs work!
I haven’t been doing much writing lately, not because I don’t want to but because I’ve been overwhelmed with things that life throws at you when you least expect it.
The day is done but my mind refuses to accept that little fact. It is going and going and no matter what I do, it refuses to quiet down and call it a night. I’ve tried meditation, deep breathing, yoga, listening to the sounds outside and even listening to Chachi’s soft snoring but nothing is helping.
Here I am, feeling like an owl with the hoot missing! The unexpected things that showed up and needed my attention were irritating to say the least. My car needed a headlight replaced. It should have been an easy thing to do but it turned out to be a major hassle. The replacement part was hard to get and add to that the cost of 2,500 euros plus the time it took to get the part and I had a major headache and a half going. I got that done about two weeks ago. That was one thing done. Then I find myself staring at something else.
The washing machine was next. It just up and died on me! Well, actually it made a loud noise, there was the smell of something burning and that was it. I pulled the plug from the socket and wondered what now? Easy enough to fix, right? All I had to do was to go to the place where I get all my gadgets and have it replaced. Nope, it wasn’t going to be that easy. Little did I know that my trusted place was no longer in operation! What do I do now? There were other places but all quite a distance away. So, I went online. It was unbelievable. I did everything online, picked one out, placed the order, paid, and got it delivered the next day. It is up and running now. Problem number two down.
What’s the next thing? There is a superstition that goes something like this. Things happen in threes and it was about to hit me. I went to the garden shed to get something and noticed that there was a puddle of water on the floor. Looking up at the roof, I noticed that there were several dark stains indicating a leak. I asked the gardener to take a look and he confirmed that the roof had a major leak and needed fixing! Bummer!!! So, now, I have to find someone to fix it and if that wasn’t enough, we have rain in the forecast for the next couple of days.
No wonder my mind doesn’t want to settle down. It is on the alert for the next thing to happen. What next thing?!! That was number three, however, life has a tendency to skip a beat and throw something else in! I’m superstitious so I’m going to try this old wife’s remedy for bad luck. Get up at the break of dawn, pick seven different varieties of flowers, and pour them over your head! It’s supposed to chase bad luck away. Worth a try? Why not? I’ll give it a try.
Now that I’ve got my frustrations out, I’ll go give sleep another try. My mind says, “Good luck with that!”
Now, that I’m learning to live with less and removing clutter as much as I can, I find that I have less dust catchers and more room to breathe! I never realized how much I have collected all in the name of wanting to dress better, having a nicer place and to just add to the mayhem!
I’m not all the way there, mind you, but I am working on it. One of the benefits of living a minimalist lifestyle and perhaps the biggest one is that I can find stuff. When once they were lost between other stuff that I didn’t need but loved looking at, now I can reach for something and know exactly where it is at.
The next benefit is that I spend less money. I no longer buy things just for the sake of buying or because it catches my eye. It is now about whether I need it, will I put it to good use, and should I be throwing money out the window simply on a whim.
Additional benefits include less time spent cleaning, no more impulsive spending, my focus is clearer and on things that matter, for example my personal growth. My living space is not as minimalist as I would like it to be but it is getting there. Mental clarity is taking over and it is not so much about material possessions anymore. Best of all, I don’t have to spend a lot of time cleaning.
I think I like this minimalist way of living, however, it is going to take time to get all the way there. The other thing is I don’t know if I am cut out for this kind of living but who knows, I might just come to love it or I might say, let’s move on to the next trend. Only time will tell.
Daily writing prompt
What are the biggest benefits of minimalist living?
Dare I say it without jinxing something that is on the way? I’ll go ahead and do it because I can’t keep it to myself anymore!
The “light at the end of the tunnel” is a classic idiom that signals something positive is about to happen. There are four different takes according to one source.
The Realistic Approach:
“The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train.” James Russell Lowell
The Empowered Approach:
“I stopped waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and lit that b**ch up myself.”
The Pessimistic Approach:
“The good news is the tunnel has an end. The bad news is more tunnels before it.”
The Absurdist Approach: “When life gives you lemons, at least you know you are out of the tunnel.”
Hmm….where does my news fit in? I don’t really know but here goes. Some of you who read my posts on a daily basis know that I have two temporary residents who have moved in for about six months. They are Shiro, a Persian cat, and Gallahad, a long-haired British variety. They took up residence about a month ago and life hasn’t been the same ever since! They belong to my son and since he has started a new job and pets are not allowed in his current apartment, his only choice was to leave them with me.
A month later, I am ready to throw up my hands and to give up! It’s not that they are not cute and sweet. They are all of those things and more. However, they require a lot of time, energy, and looking after. Not only that, they think they’ve moved into a 5 star resort and “demands” are at the top of their list. No longer satisfied with the cheap stuff their daddy (my son) used to feed them, they want top-notch and nothing less! They have a maid (me) who is at their beck and call and if that’s not enough, they want a play buddy as well. Chachi, (my little guy) loves and hates them. So, they have to be separated at intervals, this approach seems to be working but it is taking a toll on me.
The news I am about to tell you couldn’t have come at a better time. My son, who I am very proud of, not only landed his dream job but has gone on to secure a much bigger apartment. This is next to impossible in a city where apartments are very expensive and they get grabbed up as soon as they appear. Anyway, he went to look at the apartment, talked to the owner, asked intelligent questions I presume, and snapped it up! He got the call the same day and was offered the place if he wanted it. A roomy place with a built-in kitchen with all the amenities. The best part, they accept cats! A dream come true? He thinks so.
Now comes the part of signing the contract, giving up the old one, moving his stuff in and maybe, just maybe, the cats are out of here in about two months! He’ll be happy to have them back, I’ll be happy to have my life back although I will miss them, and Chachi, the little macho, will be king of the castle again.
I’ll take a different approach. “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
I saw this online and decided to share. It got a chuckle out of me. I hope it gets one out of you too.
After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for an orientation session. They are all asked the same question: “When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first guy responds: “I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest doctors of my time and a great family man”.
The second guy says: “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and a school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow”.
The third guy thinks for a while and then replies: “I guess I’d like to hear them say ‘Look – he’s moving’
Photo by Download a pic Donate a buck! ^ on Pexels.com
Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships? Why do we gravitate to the same types of people?
These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. It seems that I am drawn to the same types I left behind. It’s been a never-ending cycle and it seems like Groundhog’s Day over and over again to the point that it is horrific and mind-boggling to say the least.
Liars, cheaters and emotionally-unavailable men seem to draw me in like they’re magnetized and I have no willpower when it comes to these types. I walk in gladly like a lamb to the slaughter.
There is a reason so say the experts. They say “opposites attract” and “we are drawn to people who are strong in areas we are weak.” Hmm….there is more to this concept according to them. Two people who have an abusive past will be attracted to each other because they are viewed as equals. However, an abuser is not necessarily attracted to another abuser. He’s attracted to an “abusee” – or someone who will tolerate and enable his abuse. So to make it short and to the point, the “abusee” is familiar with abuse, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse and so she is attracted to someone who gives her what she’s already comfortable with it.”
Lord have mercy!
Is there no way out of this pattern? There is but first you need to know that:
“Simplicity and Complexity need each other.” Unknown
However, there is a way out but not an easy one. You have to work at it with a narrow-minded focus.
Here goes. If you want to attract better, you must be better meaning you need to discard what is within you, the cause for your need to be abused. Find out where it stems from. Your childhood? Adulthood? The experts say look for patterns and don’t sweep what you find under the rug. The only way to learn from it, get past it, is to go through it. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat and attract the same types only in a different body!
This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. As I have said in one of my other article, I am like a heat-seeking missile when it comes to the types I mentioned above. I find them!
Here are some tips from beyourownbrandofsexy.com on how to attract quality or high-value men. First, know yourself well and know what you need in a relationship and what matters to you.
Identify your Needs
Know what works and won’t work for you. Be selective and be ready to discard if something shows up as a red flag. “Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for the next time around.”
Don’t Settle
This is important. We tend to settle when we know that the person is the wrong type only because we tell ourselves that he will change or I can make him change. They don’t change, what they show you is what you get. So how do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? DO NOT let them get close to you. Know what your non-negotiable dealbreakers are and stick to them.
Be your Own Person
This means be your own true authentic self. Say “no” to bad matches. Become your true, authentic self which helps you to gravitate to people who are better matches for you.
Be Persistent
If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence pays. This doesn’t mean being persistent in chasing the wrong types but staying true and waiting for the right one to show up. Dating is a learning experience and unfortunately, you’ll have rejections, bad dates and disappointments AND you’ll have to kiss some frogs but if you keep at it and know what you want, you might just land the man of your dreams.
While you’re working on that, take care of yourself as well. No point letting yourself go because that is not going to do it. Lose some weight if you have to, get fit both mentally and physically, take care of your skin and teeth because one guy did ask me to show him my teeth on our first date! They’re out there. Just know that physical appearance matters so present the best version of yourself.
Now, I have to go figure out the patterns in my life which make me attract the same types over and over again. That’s the cycle I need to break! I definitely want to break this cycle of attracting low-value men and having to kiss frogs and hoping that they’ll turn into Prince Charming. Time to get working to put my best self forward armed with the knowledge of exactly what I’ll settle for.
I swear if this doesn’t work I’m giving up altogether!
Many of you know I love quotes. I find them inspiring and it is a quick pick-me-up when days are not looking like I want it to look like. Just a quote or two and it does the trick of getting me back to where I need to be. Just words you might say. True, but inspiring ones nonetheless.
One quote I live by and have lived by for a long time is this. “Live and Let Live.” Such simple words but it is needed in this world of ours where ugliness and cruelty rules and being different is considered a cardinal sin. This indirect quote “emphasizes coexistence and respect for all life forms.” If you look further, it means let someone live their life as he or she chooses and accept it for what it is. This acceptance bit is hard to come by in some circles.
Racism thrives on viewing individuals as being different because of skin color religious beliefs and or behavioral traits. Anything different in this circle is a no go or looked upon with disdain. I consider racism and racist attitudes the bane of our society. Someone said to me recently, “It will never change, racism will always exist. There is nothing you and I can do about it.” I beg to differ. Our world can be so much better if we can embrace each person for who they are and not for their outward appearance, who they marry and who they choose to be with and their worship practices. It shouldn’t matter but unfortunately it does. Just look at what Trump is unleashing in America and the world. Being “brown” could bring you a death sentence in a concentration camp somewhere far away.
LIVE AND LET LIVE for a better world, for acceptance of all people and for world peace as well. Here’s the thing it starts with you. One small step at a time as I always say. Teach your children the same. It starts at home and it is doable.
Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
Most of us are “control freaks” when it comes to controlling outcomes. I know I am. We want to take whatever comes our way, things of the unsavory nature and we want to change it or we spend time, sometimes lots of it, mulling over what we cannot control and instead of letting go or accepting it as a lost cause, we try to control the narrative.
“To find calm, let go of the need to control every outcome.” Unknown
I had a tough day yesterday and “calm” had flown the coop and was nowhere to be seen. I kept playing scenarios over and over again and no matter how many times I kept playing it over, the outcome was the same. It was done and dusted and there was nothing I could do about it but to let it go. The only thing I could do was to control my feelings and how I viewed the situation. The other thing that was staring me in the face was that I had no control over the events of the day, only in how I dealt with it. It was time to let it go and I did.
“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Mandy Hale
I spent most of yesterday getting angry, agitated, frustrated, and whatever else you could throw into the pot, I was ready to take it all and to run with it! Human nature is such that we love to entertain problems. Truth is, problems do show up when we least expect them and they throw us for a loop when we come face to face with them. More often than not, anger and frustration accompany problems. Not knowing how to deal with them is why they appear in succession. In my case, it is the opportunity to fall off from the path of self-discovery I was on and to VENT for all its worth! Ok, it’s alright for awhile but I see the toll it takes on my psyche and even then, I refuse to stop, hell-bent on wrecking havoc as I go along on my path of self-righteousness! The good part is, I’ve learned when to put a stop to it. It took me most of the day but when evening rolled around, I was ready to come to my senses and to look at it with a clear head.
“One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” marcandangel
Learning to let go of control is not easy because letting go of whatever it is means that you no longer have control over the situation. However, sometimes that is a good thing. You need to step back, view it from a distance and come up with solutions to break down the problem and to make it solvable. Yes, it takes time and it takes focus but it is better than going off the deep end as I did yesterday.
“Real strength isn’t control. It’s knowing when to let go.” Christopher Barzak
I don’t know if I would call it a risk but perhaps it was. I lost a friend a couple of years ago. We were very close and our lives revolved around each other. He was a good person with a very good heart and he taught me how to live again after the divorce.
However, his life on earth was short. He got very sick and his body was shutting down. There was no cure in sight and the person I once knew, the tall, strapping giant of a man was down to skin and bones. He was unrecognizable but the spirit remained. He gave me the task of pulling the plug when the time came. I couldn’t do it but there was no other choice. It meant pain, lots of it and him lost in a world that was unknown to me if it continued. Finally, I said go ahead. It took tremendous courage and the risk? I wasn’t sure if the decision was the right one.
The meds were stopped and it was just a matter of time. It took two weeks until his heart stopped beating. I hugged him the day before but he was already gone. I’ve asked myself this question many times, “Did I do the right thing? Could I have kept him here a little longer?” More importantly, “Do I regret giving them the go ahead?” Part of me still fights with the answers coming back but the part that knows better is at peace with the decision. I know he is in a better place and pain is a thing of the past for him. These days I see him flying with full-fledged wings as he was meant to be. They say the good die young and in his case that’s a true statement.
Quotes have the ability to boost up your mood, they can also help you out of the doldrums and just a dose can put a pep in your step and get you going. Here are a few of my favorites to put a positive spin on your day. Enjoy!
“The pages of yesterday cannot be revised. But the pages of tomorrow are blank – and you hold the pen. Make it an inspiring story.” NotSalmon.com
“Don’t worry. Just when you think your life is over, a new story line falls from the sky and lands right in your lap.” Rebekah Crane
Here’s the problem. I don’t want a new story line, I want the old one with a view to the finish line! Doable?
“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will.” Sugar Ray Robinson
“Problems are like washing machines. They twist, they spin and knock us around. But in the end, we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before.” Unknown
Fingers and toes crossed and hoping!
“I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.” Unknown
Coffee does the trick every time!
“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” Marilyn vos Savant
Never ever give UP!
“Every morning starts a new page in your story. Make it a good one today.” Doe Zantamata
What are you writing in yours today?
“The most courageous decision that you can make each day is to be in a good mood.” Voltaire
This is a hard one but I start with a smile on my face.
Look at the stars……
“It won’t fix the economy. It won’t stop wars. It won’t give you flat abs, or better sex or even help you figure out your relationship and what you want to do with your life. But it’s important. It helps you remember that you and your problem are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe.” Kate Bartolotta
How amazing is that?
AND FINALLY:
“Life is short. SMILE while you still have teeth.” Unknown
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