Tag: life

Hallelujah!

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Don’t you just hate being in the hospital? I DO! You go there to get yourself fixed but there are other aspects that come along with it that you have to contend with. The food for one thing. In German hospitals, breakfast and dinner are almost one and the same thing! Dry bread, a slice of cheese, cold cut, butter, jam, and the obligatory cup of coffee or tea. Lunch is the only thing that is different and healthy? Well, that is another thing altogether!

Depending on what you have had done decides if you can get out of bed and do the necessary stuff that daily life demands or requires. Personal hygiene usually flies out the window. I had things hooked up to my body and I had the hospital gown on, the one that opens up in the back and keeping your modesty intact is a hard thing to do. Anyway, coming back to the point I am trying to make.

I couldn’t shower. Walking around I managed, going to the bathroom with difficulty but a shower? It was next to impossible so I used wipes to keep myself clean. It helped but nothing like a shower would. I was dreaming of standing under a shower and letting the day go flying over my head!

Seven days in and I was going through “wipes” like there was no tomorrow. Then last night, I decided enough is enough! I was home, no longer hooked up to stuff, and it was time to take the bull by the horns. The problem. Both my bathrooms have the typical shower bathtub combination. You have to climb into the bathtub to take a shower. My dilemma? I’m allowed small steps on flat surface but climbing over a bathtub, well, that was a no no. Did that stop me? What do you think? I made up my mind and I went for it with rose-covered dreams of water cascading over my body beckoning me on. I made it. I was in and then I turned on the water.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

It was PURE heaven! I let the cool water wash away the seven days of YUCK! I could have stayed there forever but I knew I was pushing my luck. I climbed out with no pain in sight, I had done it! I was still standing and it was another milestone achieved, of which I’m sure will be plenty more to come as I recuperate and find my way back to being fit and whole again.

It felt like a great adventure achieved with aplomb. Think about it. When healthy, the small things don’t matter. However, when life throws in a curve and leaves you gasping for air, even the smallest of things take monumental effort.

Never give up and when there is a will, there is a way.

Have an amazing day.

Decisions

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“Decisions are the hardest thing to make, especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.” Unknown

This first quote speaks to the heart of the matter. The choice between where you should be and where you want to be is often the hardest decision to make. Your heart tells you one thing, and the facts something else!

“Sometimes doing what’s best for you won’t feel like the best.” Unknown

I crossed this bridge when I had to make a decision based on what was necessary and the fear that was holding me back. Two monumental but necessary viewpoints. The only problem? Fear stepped in and wouldn’t let go. Coming to a decision was next to impossible. I took the time and went through the pros and cons strategically, well, I tried to. In the end, I knew which road I had to take. It was the road less traveled. The decision was made but the way forward was still shrouded in fear and lots of unknowns. Safety as I knew it was right there waiting to welcome me back into the fold but I knew I had to move forward. I kept looking back at that well-travelled road. It was familiar and comforting.

“Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.” Napoleon Bonaparte

One road would lead nowhere. I would stay where I am, pretend the problem didn’t exist . I could put my blinders on and move ahead like there were no stumbling blocks on the path ahead. Sometimes, there is no other choice. It was next to impossible but I did it. It took jumping back and forth, weighing the options, and screaming of course! I did all of those things, and then the time came and I stepped right in, unknowns and all. I made the decision to go ahead and get the procedure done. What made me do it? It could have been this.

“I haven’t made any really bad decisions lately, I’m getting bored.” Unknown

All joking aside, once the decision was made, I moved forwards hoping it was the right one. I was still scared, nervous, still unsure, but none of that mattered anymore. It was DONE. The decision was made.

It has been 7 days after the operation. I am at home pain-free and recuperating. Another OP is looming in the not so distant future. Yes, I need two. The doctor told me that once it is done, “I will be as good as new.” Let me add, “Or dead!”

“I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision, I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.” Unknown

Did I do just that with this decision. I don’t know for sure but the coming weeks will show if I did. Taking it easy is the key, lots of rest, eating right and not raring to GO before I am ready is also a major point. I’ll take it easy, get bored out of my mind and HOPE my body smiles and says, “There you go. Good job!”

“Be decisive, right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t decide.” Unknown

Hmm…..I wasn’t ONE of them!

Have an amazing day.

Kindness Abounds!

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There have been many instances of kindness but I can’t remember them all! I can speak of one that stood out from the rest simply because I never asked for help but got it anyway. It happened yesterday.

I am home after having gone through a risky operation at the hospital. Thankfully, it went well or so I hope! The wound is healing as it should, fingers and toes crossed! However, I have been feeling a little alone and a tad helpless as well. Recuperation requires that I don’t drive, not carry anything heavy, minimize going up and down the stairs, eat healthy, and take it easy. Let your body rest was the message.

I was wondering what I was going to do about food, ordering in was not an option because I like eating healthy stuff. I was mulling this over when the doorbell rang at around 1:30 in the afternoon. I opened the door to find my girlfriend with two big bags and a small pot of flowers.

She went, “Hi! Delivery service here! I must say you don’t look bad! I expected worse.”

“Like what?”

“Like someone who has just had an operation!”

Anyway, she walks in, gives me a much needed hug, and hands me the flowers and the chocolates! She had two bags filled with groceries. It had everything I needed, fruits, vegetables, salads, meat, chicken, and my favorite Macadamia nuts!

Blinking back tears, I wanted to hug her again! We talked for a while and then she said, “I almost forgot. “Where is Chachi?”

“Under the stairs.”

“I have something for him.” She pulls a cute little mouse from one of the bags.

She puts it in front of him but he had this look which seemed to say, “That’s not going to BUY me! You can take it with you. My mummy is back and she’s staying so all of you can BUGGER OFF!”

Anyway, that tops the list of one of the kindest thing someone has ever done for me. It came at a time when I really needed it.

I was about to end this when I noticed I had a message. It was my neighbor from across the street. She is over 80 but a sweetheart of a lady. Her message, “Call me, I am worried about you. Did everything go alright?”

I called and we talked. Then she said, “I am going to bake you some oatmeal cookies.” I thought that was the sweetest thing when she added more. “If you need grocery shopping done, I can help you with that too. Just give me a list.”

Did she just top the other one? The lady walks with a hunched back but she never fails to bring me her homemade cherry jam from cherries harvested from her garden every summer. This offer of help was very kind but I may or may not take her up on it. It all depends if I can get myself back in shape in the shortest possible time! I HAVE PLANS TO DO JUST THAT.

“Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.” Misty Copeland

Daily writing prompt
What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?
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Mandy Hale

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This New York Times bestselling author and speaker has a way with words and a knack for beautiful quotes. They are not only beautiful but they do speak to the heart and hits the nail where it needs to go! Here are some of my favorites where this lady is concerned.

“It’s OKAY to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.”

I DID!

“Have faith in your journey. Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you’re going next.”

The lessons are coming in fast and furious!

“You can’t force something to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you just have to let go and let God.”

I DID!

“Rid yourself of all the things you’ve outgrown and the things you’re meant to grow into will track you down!”

Fingers and toes crossed!

“That’s the thing about fear. It can only hang around until faith enters the room, then it’s forced to flee.”

It did but in my case, it returns at a drop of a coin!

“God is telling you to rest your heart. You have done everything you could, prayed every prayer you knew, and stayed faithful even when it hurt. Now let ME handle it. What you cannot fix I am working behind the scenes, aligning things you cannot see yet.”

Of this, I am SURE!

“Don’t go back to something God has already rescued you from.”

Hard to do but trying really hard!

“Sometimes you have to realize that you’ve HAD enough to realize that you ARE enough.”

And you my friend are ENOUGH as YOU ARE! Always have been.

Back from the Dead!

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I thought I was a goner when I went in for the surgery. It was going to be a two-hour operation with risks involved as with most procedures that requires a surgeon’s hands to put things back together again. You probably read about my fears here and the feeling that I was going to die was front and center!

It is now Day 6 after the surgery. I came home yesterday with another OP looming next month. What? Yes, they need to do another one to make sure everything is as it should be. According to one doctor, “You will be a new person once it is done.” Or dead was my retort but I kept it to myself.

They (the doctors) expected pain to be a mainstay but were surprised when none showed up. I was hooked up to different things and one in particular I couldn’t stand! A nurse helped me to walk a few hours after the surgery and I did fine. She left the room and I decided to do it on my own. I trained like an athlete before the procedure so I knew I was fully capable of doing it. I walked the length and width of the room and did it with no problems except for a few twinges here and there. I jotted the progress down. Two hours later, I did it again! By end of day, I had done 5 rounds!

Day 2, I was up at break of day. I couldn’t sleep because the anesthesia was giving me a run for the money! It was still coursing through my veins and sleeplessness or rather insomnia was one of the after effects. The main thing, I wasn’t being given pain killers. My body was reacting well and HEALING I hoped. They checked the vitals and everything was excellent. The light at the end of the tunnel?

It looked like it except for the second OP looming in the not so distant future. I made up my mind to go throw the storm and meet it head on when it shows up. I still had time, for now the healing needs to take place and I will work hard on that. No workouts, no heavy lifting, no driving, and no eating crap! Coffee is down to one cup a day, anything that can irritate the wound is out the window, and lots of rest and relaxation. I can weather the first two, that last one is going to be hard. I LOVE moving around!

I made it up and down the stairs yesterday! Very, very, slowly of course. I can’t lift Chachi and hold him close because he is considered too heavy! So, I’ve been stroking him and giving him kisses, lots of it.

Recovery needs lots of work and I’ve already started. I have to look at other alternatives of keeping myself fit and ready for the next phase of what is coming up. Walking in the garden is one option, not fast but slow and steady is the way to go. Three times a day should do it.

I was rolled into that operating theatre with two heavyweights by my side. My angel who never leaves my side and the ONE who moves mountains. I’m sure he guided the surgeon’s hands as well!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

The Day Before Armageddon!

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It’s here, the day before I show up at the hospital ready to meet the team who will do what needs to be done. I HATE THIS! My bag is packed and being a female I am bringing more than I should. Probably, half the clothes and things I am bringing will not be needed but I’m female, hear me roar!

Yesterday was a tough one. I had to come to terms with the fact that this surgery is going to happen whether I want it to or not. The house has been cleaned, the trash taken out, and everything is spotless. I got the laundry done and met a girlfriend for coffee and breakfast. It was nice until a wasp or was it a bee decided to make its presence known. A sharp sting and I was in agony! I told the owner, who is Italian, that I just got stung by a bee! He laughed and said, “Your blood must be sweet!” We made a mad dash to the pharmacy because it was hurting like hell. After doling out 40 euros, I had a pen that felt hot when held against the sting and some gel to cool afterwards. She also told me to let the people at the hospital know about what happened. Sometimes, they will postpone the surgery!

Why are things going down south all the time? I don’t know but my girlfriend thinks it’s because I’ve decided to embrace “negativity” as my best friend! Anyway, it still hurts but postponing the surgery is just wishful thinking. I think it will take place as scheduled.

Then I met the cat sitter. A sweet girl who loves cats. However, she loved talking as well. An hour into the meeting, I had to cut it short. I handed over the house key and she will show up on Monday to take care of Chachi. The little guy knows that something is up. He has been eyeing me with a look that I can’t decipher. I think he knows something is coming up. Did I tell you he is sweet? He is adorable as well. I laid out my clothes on the bed before I went to take a shower and when I came back there was his favorite toy mouse with the innards hanging out laid carefully on my shirt! A token of love? Or is it like, “Mommy don’t send me away?” I don’t know but I bought him four more to make up for the one he has destroyed! I also wanted to make up for being away from him.

So here it is. My bags are packed and I am ready to go. I don’t want to do this but I have no choice. I will walk in hoping for the best and please don’t send me a Mr. Magoo to do the OP!

You won’t be hearing from me for however long it takes. I hope it won’t be too long.

Fingers, toes, and everything else crossed!

It’s Awfully Quiet!

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I woke up this morning and something seemed off. There was no noise. The last three months or so, I have been woken up by the sounds of Shiro knocking on the door and meowing to let me know that it was time to wake up. It didn’t matter that it was 5 in the morning, it was TIME to get up!

This morning there was none of that. The two, Shiro, the white Persian, and Gallahad, her brother have moved on. They are back with their daddy, my son, and according to him they are busy exploring his new place. He has a pretty nice apartment, bigger than before, but the one complaint, he has to keep the windows closed and it is unbearably hot! Yes, we are going through another heatwave! How many does that make? I don’t know but it seems like one flows into the other seamlessly! I’m waiting for fall to roll around and to give us a much needed break from the current weather. I don’t like sweating and I don’t like feeling like you can’t breathe! When three showers a day don’t help to cool you down, then it is time for this weather pattern to go and pronto!

Coming back to the quiet. I walked downstairs and there was no sound of feet following. No purring either. You guessed it. I’m missing them! However, a friend told me, “It is time for you to take care of yourself. Enjoy the peace and quiet and LESS WORK!” I agree but still I’ve grown close to them and I miss seeing them here.

Chachi, my little guy, has been missing them too. Last night, he decided to show his sadness by doing nothing at all! He was like Jello and picking him up was a problem. After a few kisses and close hugs, he perked up. This morning, he rushed downstairs looking for them. Then he plopped by the window seat and stared outside, looking downright confused. It took him a long time to get comfortable with having them here, and just when he was getting used to the Little Buggers, they are gone! Life is not fair is his current daily whine.

My mission today is to pick him up as much as I can, give him a boatload of kisses, and to keep him close. I know it won’t do much for the way he feels but at least he is back to being NUMBER ONE!

Time heals all things as they say and I hope it works the same way in cat world!

A Weird Dream

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I woke up this morning drenched in sweat! The days have been unbearably hot and the nights, well, just as unbearable. I’ve been downing water like there is no tomorrow and that could have contributed to the over excess of fluids oozing out of my pores. It could have but add the weirdest dream I’ve ever had to that and I wonder.

Sometimes my dreams are in 3D, over the top and movie length! It goes on like I’m in a movie scene and sometimes I wake up and remember everything and at other times, they disappear into nothingness. Last night, it was a strange dream. I hate dreaming about graveyards but there is this one recurring place that I dream about. It is in Singapore and having spent a lot of time in the country, it is a place that gives me the creeps, the graveyards I mean. This particular area has three cemeteries, Christian to one side, Muslim, and Chinese on the other side. I don’t know why but I never liked the place and whenever I had to go past this place, the hair on the back of my neck would stand up!

Guess what? Last night, I was back at this place only this time walking! Stranger still, my ex was next to me and the place had changed. The tombstones were gone and there was a hotel, a restaurant, and a park! Yikes!!! I could still see the tombstones in my mind’s eye. Anyway, we were having a casual conversation and heading to the restaurant for some food. I couldn’t get rid of the creepy feeling and everywhere I looked, I saw tombstones for as far as the eye could see even though the place had changed and they were no longer there.

The significance of the dream? I don’t know. Please feel free to tell me if you know what this means. It was a long dream, movie length as well I think, and there were other moving parts but I don’t remember the rest of it. Only that I woke up with a start drenched in sweat. CREEPY!

I have a big operation coming up and I’ve been wrestling or rather struggling with it. Could it have triggered this weird dream or is it trying to tell me something? If so, why is the ex in the picture?

Ok, it could be just a dream and nothing more. I HOPE SO!