writing

LIFE!

Life has a certain way of bringing things to the fore and it often does it without giving notice first! One day everything is going fine and the next you wonder what happened and why you’re at where you’re at.

I used to worry about what “life” had up its sleeve and how it was going to affect me. This worrywart syndrome that I have didn’t help much either. Something is going good and I would say to myself, “Wait for it! It’s coming, it’s on the way!” I’m talking about the bad stuff and it never fails because it shows up wearing bells and more!

Perhaps we bring on more of the same when negativity follows us around. These days, I take it as it comes and I offer the other cheek as well! I don’t look for the “bad stuff” to happen. If it does, I decide how I will handle it. Life has a tendency to throw things your way, perhaps it was a boring day up there or wherever they or it is and it’s time to shake things up and sometimes it is party time!

Worrying about things is not going to help matters much. Deciding that whatever comes your way, you are going to handle it and handle it with grace is the way to go. Is “life” giving me a break with that attitude. Nope! It says, “You’ve got lessons to learn and I want to see what you’re made of.”

Bring it on! First things first. I don’t worry as much as I used to. I still do because that goes with the territory, the one of being a worrywart. However, I try not to let it turn my world upside down and inside out. Those days are done it. I am calmer, bolder, braver, and ready to do battle!

Daily writing prompt

What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?

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It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Goodbyes are never easy but it is time to do exactly that. Shiro, the Persian, and Gallahad, the British long-haired cat with orange eyes will be leaving soon and I am sad.

I’ve had them for over three months now, keeping watch over them because my son, their daddy, is concentrating on his new job and they would have been a distraction plus the temporary apartment he had didn’t allow pets. So, mom offered help and with a heavy heart he accepted. Now he has an apartment that is much bigger and he is looking forward to having them back again.

The two cats were not easy. It was extra work for me and they love getting up at 5 in the mornings! Fine and good but the problem was or rather is that they want the “food lady” up as well! Now, Chachi, my little guy is joining in the fun! Somewhere along the way, he has learned that being a cat is not a bad thing after all! They are teaching him how to get what he wants, how to run riot if he doesn’t, and how to BUG mom till she gives in.

Yes, life hasn’t been easy but it hasn’t been all work and no play either. I’ve come to know them pretty well. Shiro is my little princess or rather the little girl I never had! She is sweet and sassy and takes no nonsense from the other two. Gallahad is the quiet one. He observes but where food is concerned he jumps in and turns on the charm! Those orange eyes do the rest and I find myself feeding him more than I should!

They will be leaving on Sunday and a little piece of me will go with them. I will worry about them and wonder if all is well with them as well. Chachi will miss them too. It will be back to being Number 1 for him but with no one to play with. Little Miss Ipanema still shows up now and then. She’s his girlfriend from across the street and they have this “love” thing going. Just through the kitchen window. She showed up a few days ago and saw Shiro sitting at the window staring out and her claws came out!

Things will be a lot quieter around here. I will miss the sound of running feet on the stairs, the soft purring, the loud meowing, and the shows of affection. I won’t miss the work, the constant cleaning up, and picking up behind them and getting up early in the mornings.

Time to relax and to let them go. Farewell my lovelies!

My One Favorite Quote?

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I love quotes and I don’t just have one favorite. I have plenty that have added to the journey I am on. There is so much wisdom in quotes, in the right ones, and I do learn from and take them to heart.

Okay, let’s see if I can pick one that speaks to me. Hmm…..the one that is truly wise and speaks volumes without saying too much is from Mandy Hale. She is truly exceptional and she is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and social media personality. Not only that, most of her quotes are geared towards women and their well-being. She is also the creator of the online brand, “The Single Woman.”

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes from her collection.

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings.”

I remember seeing this when I was just starting out on my journey of self-discovery. It spoke to me because we are social creatures and some of us need people around us all the time to survive the hustle and bustle of daily life. So being in isolation is not something most of us do well. It took some getting used to and the more I went into isolation, the more I realized what those words meant. After a time, I loved the quiet and the “loneliness.” I could think, I could decipher what I needed to get my life back on track, and I also realized that I was fully capable of handling whatever life threw my way as well.

I don’t have my wings yet and I am still on the path of isolation and loneliness, learning as I go along. I’m hoping that one day soon, those “wings” will magically appear!

One can only hope.

Have an amazing day.

Daily writing prompt

What is your favorite quote?

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A Life Changing Tip

This is nothing new and I’m sure you’ve heard it before. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! Put one foot in front of the other, make sure you shut the door behind you and move forward one step at a time, one day at a time.

I’ve been through two murders, a heart-wrenching breakup, and I survived. I didn’t think I could at first. I stood still where I was as if rooted to the spot and I couldn’t see anything in front of me. The future was cloudy and shrouded in haze AND moving forward just wasn’t possible. The murders were horrific and I was filled with anger and rage. I wanted revenge. So I stayed where I was, played scenes back in my head and it just kept on going. I forgot that I had a life to live, a son to take care of, and a husband. I had a life! At that time, it didn’t matter anymore. I wanted everything to come to a standstill just as I was standing still. However, life kept on moving and this angered me even more. “I’m in pain, why can’t you just stop for a little while?” I learned that life goes on and you have no choice but to climb back on or get left behind.

It took a while before I could do that. I had to let go of the anger and rage first. Accepting that they were in a better place and no longer in pain also helped. It didn’t happen all at once. It took a long time and that’s alright. Take your time and know what works for you.

My life-changing tip? Know that things happen, sometimes horrific, sometimes not as bad, but whatever it is, keep moving forward. If you have to stop and get off for a while, DO IT! However, don’t stay there for too long. There is a saying that goes like this. “Time and tide wait for no man.” It is the absolute truth.

Keep moving forward and stop looking behind you.

I’m doing exactly that.

Daily writing prompt

If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be?

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Magazines

I can’t remember their names! Dad used to order lots of books, puzzles, and things of interest and I got my hands on them! I would work the puzzles, and read all the other stuff that was there. That’s how I took an interest in reading. I have dad to thank for that.

Then one day, those new magazines started arriving. They had beautiful pictures of faraway places. I could go there and dream without ever leaving home. Switzerland became my fav place and I read up on everything I needed to know about that place. One day I was going to visit this marvelous place and experience it for myself. It never happened.

Other places came along. Sri Lanka, Brazil, Hawaii, Asia, and many many more. I would visit some of those places in real life and experience the culture, the people, and the cuisine for myself.

I realized that I didn’t have to leave home to go to my dream places. I could do that right from my bedroom and flipping pages took me to some wonderful lands and faraway destinations.

Traveling was not a choice. I married somehow who traveled alot, career choices helped with some other visits, and I went along whether I wanted to or not. These days I am content with where I am at. Peace and quiet is what I seek the most and those faraway places will remain undiscovered as far as I am concerned. I’ve done enough traveling in my life, time to hang up those shoes and COOL it for a while at least.

To answer your question, no movie or book inspired me to travel or maybe it did but I can’t think of any right now. Those magazines come to mind so question answered!

Daily writing prompt

What’s a movie or book that inspired you to travel?

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I’m Not Feeling Well!

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This is an excuse my ex uses to his advantage. He has been using it for a long time now. The man is not only a cheater, a liar, and an all-around two-timer, he pulls out this one card every time he doesn’t feel like doing something.

The man doesn’t realize that “crying wolf” too many times doesn’t work to his advantage. He is very intelligent, a physicist, and anything to do with science he has a handle on but when it comes to the social stuff and how you should handle people he is clueless!

“I’m not feeling well,” is his get out of jail free card so to speak. I know it well, I’ve lived with it for a long time picking up the slack when he was too busy pretending to be sick and galavanting to his heart’s content. No, he is not a good person. What did I see in him? Nothing much at first but he was quite good at pulling the wool over my eyes that I believed every word he said.

Coming back to the question at hand. This is his best excuse and the one he uses often. It means he is too sick to do anything he doesn’t want to do. The problem is, his son is catching up on what this is about as well. The ex was supposed to do something important, had promised (he never keeps his promises), but at the last minute backed out using his worn and tattered card once again. “I’m not feeling well.” The son finds out that he is well enough to go on vacation with his current fling. Anger? Yes, he feels it and so do I. However, there is nothing much you can do with someone who is remorseless and is all about himself.

It takes work on my part to cool the situation down which I have been doing for a long time now. This doesn’t mean I don’t feel the anger, the hurt, and the pain my son feels. There is not much I can do about that GUY! I can only see what I can do to make my son feel that he is important because he is far from feeling that at the moment.

“I’m not feeling well.”

To cry wolf means “to raise a false alarm or give unnecessary warnings.” It also destroys your credibility of which he has none I might add. One day when an actual emergency arises, no one will believe a word he says and that day couldn’t come soon enough!

Now that I’ve had a full-on vent session, I’m feeling so much better!

Next question please……

Daily writing prompt

What is the best excuse you have heard lately?

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I’ve acquired many habits that have contributed to my well-being ever since I’ve been on this journey of self-improvement. I love walking, working out, meditating, relaxing, and taking time out for myself. However, if I have to pin down one habit that has improved my life the most, it would be writing.

Writing is something I do everyday. The WP prompts help me to vent, to bring forward what I’m thinking about, to bring forward things that bug me, and to think outside of the box. Some days I have lots to say and on other days nothing! It doesn’t matter, it is a way to bring forth all that is hidden deep within and a way to look at those issues more deeply.

Sometimes it helps to see them more clearly and at other times, I get solutions to rectify problems and to move forward with a clear path in mind. It is not always easy but it is better than doing nothing. Some days, I feel great after venting about something that has been bugging me and I hope that some of what I put out there helps someone else who is on the same path and struggling to find a path forward.

Writing has definitely worked to improve my life for the better. Life doesn’t seem as hard as it used to and I feel like I have a “friend” I can turn to when the clouds move in and dim the lights. This is one habit that I will keep on doing because it doesn’t cost anything, just time and thinking on my part. Both are doable and the rewards outweigh what I put into it.

Daily writing prompt

What’s one habit that has improved your life the most?

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The Hard Years

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It was hands down the time during the breakup of my marriage. I didn’t know “HARD” until then. I was caught between a rock and a hard place and there was no escaping the pain, the confusion, the insecurities, and the feelings of loneliness that followed.

The adulterous affair he had tore our marriage apart but I think it started way before that. Success got to his head and arrogance did the rest. The problem was I was still caught up in being his wife and mother to our little boy. I didn’t see it coming. When it did I was broken beyond belief. Should I walk away? Can we mend what was broken? What about trust? Can I ever trust him again? That last part gave me the answers to my other questions. I couldn’t and without trust we were going nowhere. Divorce was next on the line. It was a very painful time because I believed in forevers and “forever” was lying in pieces around my feet along with my broken heart.

The thing that got me through the ordeal was my little boy. I saw the pain every time he looked at us. His world was changing and he wanted it to remain the same. However, there was no going back. I became his rock in more ways than one. His father was off and running. Any woman was fair game and we were left on the backburner or rather as an afterthought.

I took on the role of mom and dad and I stood by my boy like a lioness guarding her cub. Did it lessen his pain? I don’t think so but it did help him to know that he was loved and no matter what I was there for him.

The “angel” walked in after that and slowly but surely, I learned to stand back up again. No, I wasn’t fully healed, that took a long time and I couldn’t love him like he wanted. Every time he got close, I shut the door behind me! The thing about him was that he had both feet in and wasn’t about to leave. He stayed until it was his time to go. He showed me there is better out there. The kind of love that doesn’t take you for granted, the kind of love that doesn’t buckle at the slight suggestion of a storm, and the kind of love that didn’t ask but was willing to give selflessly. The sad thing, I wasn’t ready to accept it at the time.

I call him “my angel” because I truly believe that he was sent in to help me find my way again. He got me through the “the hard years” and just when I was finding my feet again, he left. His job was done.

Daily writing prompt

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?

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Switzerland

A long time ago when I was doing my armchair traveling, I came across pictures of this faraway land and it kept me captive. I told myself that one day I will visit this gorgeous place and even live there.

Life had other plans! I would travel the world experiencing life in some strange and wonderful places but I never made it to Switzerland! I lived in Asia and then I met my German ex and life got turned on its head. We fell in love, got married, and I got pregnant. He wanted to move back home, to a tiny little village that time forgot. Sometimes you can hear a pin drop.

I’ve raised my son here, learned to speak the language fluently, got divorced, and am learning to live here on my own. I think I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. It’s not perfect but it is perfect enough for me. If you’re a writer, this is a dream place. It is quiet so that you can hear yourself think. The fields are gorgeous and some days you may think that no one else exists! There is very little to do here but that’s okay for a recluse like me. I love the peace and quiet. The people take some getting used to, they are set in their ways and they are way too conservative. However, when you get to know them and they invite you into their circle, that’s right “invite” you in, you’ve made it and you are treated like one of them. It is how I feel now.

I’ve been to many places in the world but if I could live anywhere in the world, I would pick this one. Why? It feels like home and there is this certain something about this place. Perhaps, it is the mixture of old and new or the smiles and waves that tell me I am welcomed here, but most of all I like the feel of safety that this place gives me. It is almost crime-free and you CAN leave your doors open at night but that’s where I draw the line!

I’m not there yet and I don’t think I ever will be. I have a German friend who leaves all the windows and doors open throughout the day and through the night! He says, “there is nothing to worry about!” Hmm…from his mouth to God’s ears!

I’m in a perfect place, one that works for me and that right there is the important part.

Daily writing prompt

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

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My Evening Ritual

I’ve learned along the way that good sleep doesn’t come naturally. You’ve got to work at it to get your 8 hours of undisturbed sleep. Even though I eat healthy, workout, and do the right things during the day, it doesn’t mean that I can slide into bed and go to dreamland at a drop of the coin. It was easier when I was younger but now that I’m on my own and handling things by myself, good sleep needs work and I’m hell-bent on getting it!

The first thing I do is to have a nice shower. Then I change into a big roomy t-shirt, the bigger the better! Before that I slather on a good mosturizing cream but I’ve had to let that go for the past week because of the heatwave. It just made me feel sticky.

Then I make myself a cup of Ayurveda tea. It is soothing and helps to calm my nerves. Most days when evening rolls around, my nerves are on edge! Sipping warm tea and having my eyes closed for about 10 minutes helps to bring the cortisol levels down.

Some days, I do some light stretching, a short meditation, and or some deep breathing. These three get me ready for bed in no time. If that doesn’t work, I cuddle with Chachi, the Little Macho, although he has lost his pants now. Shiro, the white Persian, is wearing them with pride and she is holding a whip as well!

If I’m still buzzing after that, I watch TV for a while. It doesn’t always help to soothe but after a while it gets boring and then sleep comes rushing in!

Those are my tried and true methods of improving my sleep. It works but not always. It just depends on how stressful my day was. Some days nothing helps, I’ll just have to grit my teeth and bear it. That too is part and parcel of my evening ritual, like it or not.

Goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite!

Daily writing prompt

What do you do to improve your sleep?

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