Buddha said, First remove, “I” that’s EGO, then remove , “WANT,” that’s DESIRE. See now you are left with only, “HAPPINESS.”
Is it really that simple to find happiness? Okay, I can give this method a try BUT I find that when I remove “EGO” and “WANT,” there is something else glaring me in the face! It is, “WHAT NOW?!!!”
According to Buddhist wisdom, there are 5 steps to happiness. They are:
SMILE MORE
WORRY LESS
BE PRESENT
GIVE MORE
EXPECT LESS
I believe in the smiling more part. No problems there. Worrying less is almost a no go with me. Being present, I am working on. Giving more…..it is a work in progress and expecting less always gets me in trouble. Basically, I’m not quite there yet. Finding that happiness path that is.
What else?
“A disciplined mind brings happiness.”
Oh Gawd! This is even worse. Tell that “monkey” I call my mind to take orders and you’ll see what I mean! Marching on to the next happiness mantra.
“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are….
It solely relies on what you think.”
WHAT?!!! I give up!
No more searching for happiness wisdom today. I’ll do it my way. The sun is shining and I’m going to slip into my flip-flops, go to the garden and let the sun warm my face. I’ll listen to the birdsong to calm my mind and let happiness seep in. Sorry Buddha but maybe next time around.
There will be no more thinking, no more telling my mind to do something it doesn’t want to do and I’ll just let the day go as it wants to. How’s that for a happiness mantra?
Feeling down? Nothing’s going right? You’re in a down phase? The world’s a cruel place? Prince Charming is a no show?
You’re not alone. Give it time, work on yourself but in the meantime here are some tips to pep up your mood and get you soaring again.
MEDITATION
It’s been around for a long long time and it still works today. Just five minutes a day will quiet the mind and send those endorphins spiraling upwards. Try it. Close your eyes, go within. Take a breath, hold for 4 counts and let it out for six. Watch the transformation take place. You’ve got to keep at it to reap the benefits.
NATURE
It is my all-time favorite activity. Nature soothes, nature calms and it teaches how to give those stress hormones a run for the money. Just 10 minutes a day should do it. You’ll come back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle anything the world throws your way. A cup of coffee later and I’m raring to go!
GRATITUDE
This is an important mood booster. Never underestimate the power of gratitude. It has the power to change your mindset and to take you from the glass is half empty to the glass is all kinds of full! Try it. Think of three things you are grateful for right now. Not that bad is it?
LAUGHTER
Find something to laugh about everyday. It has been said, laughter is the best medicine. It really is. I watch standup comedies or funny movies to boost my mood and to release stress. Laughter also strengthens the immune system and releases cortisol and adrenaline, two main stress hormones. Chronic stress puts your health at risk so laugh it away. Aim for a dose of laughter each day.
JOURNALING
It is “the practice of regularly writing down your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and reflections.” This is my way of getting my pent up emotions out in the open. Believe me, it’s a miracle worker and once you get them out, you do feel a lot lighter. Write it down, get it out, do the dance and set it free! It’s a definite pep me up!
SMILE
This one comes naturally to me. I smile a lot. Just having a smile on your face tricks your brain into thinking you’re happy and it releases the “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. These are needed in your arsenal to add to your overall well-being. So, SMILE for all you’re worth!
Just a few tips to rev up your mood. These methods work for me and I hope it does for you as well.
“Be so positive that negative people don’t want to be near you.”
First on the list is Chachi, the cat. I can’t do without him and he is my buddy, a close confidante and a joy maker. Just seeing him walk into the room with that John Wayne walk puts a smile on my face. Spending time with him brings happiness as well.
Writing is next on the list. Right now, I am drawing blanks but that happens and it is a momentary lapse. Soon my head will be raging with ideas and I will be ready to get it out and I will. I think my brain is saying enough already! It’s time for a break. I LOVE writing and it is a joyful thing to do.
Walking is naturally on my list. Not a day goes by without a walk in nature but I missed it today. I seem to have caught a cold so it was plenty of rest, liquids and TV time! It’s okay to have downtime now and then.
Meditation brings benefits I never thought was possible. I have a mind that jumps around and doesn’t sit still so meditation has been a good way to reel it in and to make it behave. It is a hard ask but it (my brain) is learning to toe the line or perhaps just pretending to do so! Meditation not only brings joy into my life but it is my safety net when I need peace and quiet.
Workouts are good for the mind, body and soul. I’ve always worked out so why stop now? However, I need to remember that I’m no longer a spring chicken but sometimes I forget and my body reminds me later. It’s all fine and good because I take it in stride although I’ve backed off from kickboxing but all the others are par for the course.
These are my methods for achieving happiness and believe it or not, it works. What about cheesecake? Okay, just a slice puts a smile on my face but it has been a game of tug of war since I started down that road, the cheesecake fetish path I mean, so I’m going to leave it out for now but I hear it CALLING!
Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
Zig Ziglar called it the healthiest of all human emotions and it is one that is often overlooked in our day to day existence of what we call “living.” It is unpretentious, it takes its place quietly in the ranks of emotions and waits to be recognized like a step child who is often left wanting. More often than not we walk past without giving it the recognition it deserves.
“Gratitude helps you see what’s there instead of what isn’t.” Unknown
What is gratitude?
Simply put and according to graygroupintl.com, “It is a deep sense of appreciation for the good things in our lives, both big and small. It is about recognizing the positive aspects and expressing gratitude for them. When we practice gratitude, it not only benefits our mental health but also our physical well-being.”
If it is that important, why hasn’t this poster-child for good mental health been given more attention and accolades?
Perhaps, it is because as humans we have a tendency to overlook the “good stuff” and we tend to focus on the lack thereof and all the negatives it entails. If only I had this, then life would be so much better is the mantra we wear with pride and have hone it to an art form that we are blinded to the abundance that surrounds us.
“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” Rumi
Practice it daily and it will turn your life around. I still haven’t grasped this concept of being grateful but I am working on it.
How do you practice gratitude? According to mindful.org, the people in the know, it starts like this and if you do it regularly, “it is a game-changer; it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins— and over time strengthens your ability to notice the good.”
Start by observing. Notice the thank yous you say.
Keep a journal of all that you are grateful for and believe me there is plenty to be thankful for.
Make a vow to be grateful everyday.
Meditate – anchor yourself to the good things in your life. Be mindful and live in the present.
The day before was a tough day. Things just didn’t go the way I wanted it to and so my focus was on all the bad stuff which in turn helped me to go further down the rabbit hole. At the end of the day I decided that today would be better. The gratitude part didn’t come till later. I went ahead and booked a massage and as I was lying on the table, face down and staring into nothingness, listening to the soothing music in the background, a small voice said, “Say thank you.” I did and I repeated it several times just in case it didn’t hear me the first me! As the masseuse applied gentle strokes to my back, I realized that I was surrounded with and by abundance.
I slowly started counting off the things I was grateful for and the list was never-ending. The gorgeous day, the blue skies, my friends, the people who cared about my existence and last but not least the wonderful massage that helped to soothe my frazzled nerves. It was a game-changer. I walked out of there with a smile on my face, my woes forgotten for the moment at least and well-prepared for the day ahead.
If you can’t afford a massage even the simplest of things will do it. Go for a walk, pay attention to the sights and sounds, things that help to lift up your soul. It could be as simple as taking in a deep breath, or watching a bird in flight or a tree in bloom, its colors mesmerizing and the scent wafting by better than any artificially manufactured perfume but most of all say, “THANK YOU.” Be grateful for the abundance surrounding you, the roof over your head, the food, nature and all the little and big things that help to make up your life and soon the glass will no longer be half empty but overflowing. A friend said to me, “you need to do what you preach,” and he is right. Thank you friend for being my friend!
Practicing gratefulness is helping to turn things around in my life. It doesn’t come easily but the more I say thank you and appreciate what is around me, the less I see the negatives not that they aren’t there mind you, but to a lesser extent. This too takes time.
“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” Tony Robbins
A British doctor brags to colleagues: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we removed a man’s backbone, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he was looking for work.”
The German surgeon replies: “In Germany we removed a section of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he too is looking for work.”
The Russian doctor says: “Gentlemen, we took a beating heart from a man, put it in another’s chest, and in 2 weeks he started a new job.”
The American doctor sighs, saying: “You are all still behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no backbone and he got a job overnight as our President!”
Quotes have the ability to boost up your mood, they can also help you out of the doldrums and just a dose can put a pep in your step and get you going. Here are a few of my favorites to put a positive spin on your day. Enjoy!
“The pages of yesterday cannot be revised. But the pages of tomorrow are blank – and you hold the pen. Make it an inspiring story.” NotSalmon.com
“Don’t worry. Just when you think your life is over, a new story line falls from the sky and lands right in your lap.” Rebekah Crane
Here’s the problem. I don’t want a new story line, I want the old one with a view to the finish line! Doable?
“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will.” Sugar Ray Robinson
“Problems are like washing machines. They twist, they spin and knock us around. But in the end, we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before.” Unknown
Fingers and toes crossed and hoping!
“I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.” Unknown
Coffee does the trick every time!
“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” Marilyn vos Savant
Never ever give UP!
“Every morning starts a new page in your story. Make it a good one today.” Doe Zantamata
What are you writing in yours today?
“The most courageous decision that you can make each day is to be in a good mood.” Voltaire
This is a hard one but I start with a smile on my face.
Look at the stars……
“It won’t fix the economy. It won’t stop wars. It won’t give you flat abs, or better sex or even help you figure out your relationship and what you want to do with your life. But it’s important. It helps you remember that you and your problem are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe.” Kate Bartolotta
How amazing is that?
AND FINALLY:
“Life is short. SMILE while you still have teeth.” Unknown
Happiness is a choice although some may disagree. I feel that it starts from within and works its way out. It is going to take work as with everything else in life that is worth having.
“Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.”
Valerie Bertinelli.
If you’re looking at outside factors to validate your existence, if you’re waiting for people to give you what you need to be happy, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Happiness is a choice you make and therein lies the secret of being happy.
It has been said that, “true happiness isn’t a destination, but a way of living….cultivated through intentional practices.” What do you need to be happy? Money? Love? Freedom? Peace? The answer is that it takes all of those things and more. However, there are some key secrets to leading a happy life. They are, “prioritizing positive relationships, practicing gratitude, engaging in meaningful activities, and managing stress effectively.”
These are all good and positive ways you can achieve happiness and to keep it there for a while. However, it is not a switch that you turn on and off. If you want the long-lasting kind of “happiness” you need to make positive choices that help to foster dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and andorphins, the happy hormones. It is something you need to work towards and things like developing resilience, setting intentions and making good choices help to influence “your emotional state and overall well-being.”
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama
It takes time to cultivate. Daily habits of the positive nature help to get you there. Being kind to yourself helps to strengthen that happiness factor and training your mind to stay positive all help to see life not through rose-tinted glasses but for what it is. Work, work and more work!
“Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cannot escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not.” Roy T. Bennett
One small step at a time and remember that with discomfort comes growth.
By now, you know that most of my posts center around this thing called love. It’s because I have my fact-finding shoes on and I want to find out what it is all about.
It is elusive, that’s for sure. It morphs and never stays the same, that’s another aspect. It shows up when you least expect it and it doesn’t stay for long. It is loving and all-consuming but when things go south, it takes off on winged feet. This is my experience as far as love is concerned.
Poor me? Not really. It is daunting this task of finding “real love” but my curiosity is aroused and I’m not going to settle for anything less than the real kind. Curiosity killed the cat, you say? Well, Chachi, the cat, is doing pretty well in that respect and he’s wearing the Einstein hat now!
Someone said to me it is not about ego or attitude yesterday. I totally agree. However, it is not about accepting everyone who walks in the door and placing the “love tag” on them either. That’s a surefire way to disaster. One person called me complicated, well, more than one but who’s counting! Complicated in this case means I’m not willing to accept what is offered. It’s more like the caveman variety. “Here I am woman take me! I like you so no more wasting time and no more discussion. Let’s get down to business!” Nope, that won’t work. I am too emancipated for that BS! Call me complicated all you want but you’re out the door!
I live in a small village that time forgot. The marriages here last a very long time. Have they found the secret to a long and happy love life? Not really. It is based on convenience. Its more like, “I provide and you pander.” Get the picture? These marriages last for a very long time but they are miserable together. One prime example was my in-laws. They were married for decades and they boasted about the longevity of their relationship, however, fights were a part of their daily existence. When he died, she mourned his loss. I wondered if she was mourning the loss of the person or what she was accustomed to, that of nagging and bickering all day long. Perhaps, it was addicting but is that real love?
Someone else said, “If you find it, hold on to it.” I definitely plan to do that. In my journey so far, I’m finding that “love” comes disguised in all its wishy-washy forms but if you want the real kind, you’ve got to take your time, know what you will settle for and what you won’t and don’t be afraid to discard if it’s not what you’re looking for. It takes courage, it takes a single-minded focus and it takes walking the road less traveled. Shut out the noise around you. The one that says, “You can’t do this,” but more specifically the one that roars, “You’ll wind up alone!” I say, “better alone than with the wrong person.”
“Unless it’s mad, passionate or extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life: Love shouldn’t be one of them.” Unknown
AND
“There is no such thing as love, you just happen to bump into someone who laughs at your jokes, likes the way you’re face is and accepts the way you look at the world. Love isn’t real, only two human beings coincidentally lonely at the same moment in time.”
Are you seeking happiness as I am? If you are then you know that it is elusive and it takes a certain mindset to stay happy. It is a conscious choice and it demands a focus on positive things instead of your external circumstances. Experts say, it is about “choosing to focus on what is good and finding joy in everyday moments.”
How many of us do exactly that only to find that when something unforeseen shows up and rattles the boat and off we go right back to, “the glass is half-empty stuff.” It goes downhill from there, at least it does with me.
“Happiness is homemade, create it everyday.” Unknown
You have to create this elusive commodity. It’s not going to walk in and make itself known. Well, it could but it takes work on your part to get you in the happy mode and to stay that way.
Wearing a smile on your face helps. It’s like tricking your mindset into thinking that the “happy hormones” are at play so it must be alright to get and feel happy. What are the happy hormones? They are dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin. These hormones “play a key role in regulating mood, pleasure, and overall well-being.”
How do you boost the happy foursome?
Physical activity helps. A healthy diet definitely helps to get you on the way and to activate the happy hormones. Mindfulness and relaxation helps. Things like meditation, deep breathing and nature walks help as well. I do all of those things so why is “happiness” eluding my so called existence and only shows up now and then?
“Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” Unknown
You’ve got to be kidding me! Stop chasing and it will show up? I think it takes more than that for happiness to come knocking on your door. According to the University of New Hampshire Psychological and Counseling Services, here are some strategies to help you find happiness.
Focus upon problem-solving, not just venting.
Take time to build quality relationships with supportive people.
Count your blessings and practice gratitude.
Take time to engage in random acts of kindness.
Practice compassion and empathy.
Be kind to yourself, rather than overly-critical or perfectionistic.
Set meaningful goals.
Appreciate what you already have.
Avoid the temptation to complain and reinforce negativity.
If all else fails, remember that your happiness depends on you.
“The best gift you could give yourself is the permission to be happy.” Unknown
Start your day right. Wear a smile, do a happy dance, and TRY to keep the negatives at bay. A day at a time and who knows you might just become the happiest person on the planet!
Buddha said, First remove, “I” that’s EGO, then remove , “WANT,” that’s DESIRE. See now you are left with only, “HAPPINESS.”
Is it really that simple to find happiness? Okay, I can give this method a try BUT I find that when I remove “EGO” and “WANT,” there is something else glaring me in the face! It is, “WHAT NOW?!!!”
According to Buddhist wisdom, there are 5 steps to happiness. They are:
SMILE MORE
WORRY LESS
BE PRESENT
GIVE MORE
EXPECT LESS
I believe in the smiling more part. No problems there. Worrying less is almost a no go with me. Being present, I am working on. Giving more…..it is a work in progress and expecting less always gets me in trouble. Basically, I’m not quite there yet. Finding that happiness path that is.
What else?
“A disciplined mind brings happiness.”
Oh Gawd! This is even worse. Tell that “monkey” I call my mind to take orders and you’ll see what I mean! Marching on to the next happiness mantra.
“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are….
It solely relies on what you think.”
WHAT?!!! I give up!
No more searching for happiness wisdom today. I’ll do it my way. The sun is shining and I’m going to slip into my flip-flops, go to the garden and let the sun warm my face and listen to the birdsong to calm my mind and to let happiness seep in. Sorry Buddha but maybe next time around.
There will be no more thinking, no more telling my mind to do something it doesn’t want to do and I’ll just let the day go as it wants to. How’s that for a happiness mantra?
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