Buddha said, First remove, “I” that’s EGO, then remove , “WANT,” that’s DESIRE. See now you are left with only, “HAPPINESS.”
Is it really that simple to find happiness? Okay, I can give this method a try BUT I find that when I remove “EGO” and “WANT,” there is something else glaring me in the face! It is, “WHAT NOW?!!!”
According to Buddhist wisdom, there are 5 steps to happiness. They are:
SMILE MORE
WORRY LESS
BE PRESENT
GIVE MORE
EXPECT LESS
I believe in the smiling more part. No problems there. Worrying less is almost a no go with me. Being present, I am working on. Giving more…..it is a work in progress and expecting less always gets me in trouble. Basically, I’m not quite there yet. Finding that happiness path that is.
What else?
“A disciplined mind brings happiness.”
Oh Gawd! This is even worse. Tell that “monkey” I call my mind to take orders and you’ll see what I mean! Marching on to the next happiness mantra.
“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are….
It solely relies on what you think.”
WHAT?!!! I give up!
No more searching for happiness wisdom today. I’ll do it my way. The sun is shining and I’m going to slip into my flip-flops, go to the garden and let the sun warm my face. I’ll listen to the birdsong to calm my mind and let happiness seep in. Sorry Buddha but maybe next time around.
There will be no more thinking, no more telling my mind to do something it doesn’t want to do and I’ll just let the day go as it wants to. How’s that for a happiness mantra?
Sitting outside in the garden is just as nice as taking a walk out in nature. Today, it is exceptionally wonderful because the sun is out, there is a cool breeze blowing and a cloudless blue sky adds to the pretty picture. I’ve got my second cup of coffee on the table, a notepad and pen just in case I get some bright ideas. I love jotting them down before it flies out of my head never to be seen again.
All is quiet where “the three” are concerned. I’m talking about Larry, Curly, and Moe! Just kidding. I’m talking about the three cats, Chachi, Galli, and Shiro. They’ve had their food, have been cleaned and brushed and are taking their midday naps. It is peaceful for a change.
The garden is looking fantastic in all its spring glory. The cherry tree has lots of blooms, the fig tree is greening, the Magnolias have done blooming and the petals are now lying like a carpet of pink and white on the grass. It means work clearing them up but each year they put on a show and the neighbors appreciate their beauty as well. My neighbor told me last week that she loves standing at her kitchen window with coffee cup in hand and looking at that tree. According to her, it brings or rather puts a smile on her face. I can understand that because nature has a way of doing that if you just stop and stare for a while.
The Camelia bush is in full bloom dripping with white blossoms. It’s interesting how this plant stays green all winter and when spring creeps around, the blossoms arrive. They are gorgeous. The tulips are in full bloom as well in a myriad variety of colors. The apple tree is greening and it will just be a matter of time before it starts blooming as well. Last year, it was a bumper crop. Maybe, this year it will take time out. Two years ago, I planted some ground crawlers as they are called here and each year they take my breath away. This year is no different. When they bloom, the ground is nowhere to be seen. It is covered in shades of pinks, purples, and whites. It’s the same this year and it is beautiful. The roses are budding as well and when they do arrive in different shades, the garden will be filled with the scent of vanilla and something sweet. Another thing to look forward to.
The insects are not out in full force yet but they will show up sooner or later. For now, I am enjoying the quiet, the peace, the sounds of nature all around me and I can stay here forever but it’s time to go see what the little rascals are up to.
I almost did the unthinkable but I came to my senses before that happened! Settling was something I never wanted to do and never settling means “to continuously strive for excellence, refusing to accept mediocrity, complacency, or anything less than your highest standards.”
In a relationship, never settling for less than you deserve means “refusing to accept less than your core standards, values, and emotional needs, ensuring you are not simply staying out of fear of being alone” or walking into one for that very same reason.
“You, my dear, were never meant to settle.” Erin Plewes
Coming back to the topic at hand, I almost did exactly that. I narrowed down the list of potential candidates to two. Out of the two, I decided to give one guy the chance of getting to know me better. He wasn’t the perfect guy but going with the premise that there is no such thing as the “perfect guy” I decided to give him a chance. If you know me, you will know what a big decision that was. Second dates are hard to come by. I always find a reason as to why it shouldn’t happen. Anyway, we went out on a few dates, held hands, laughed about THINGS and after two kisses, the doubts started rolling in as they usually do. The biggest obstacle was that he’s a smoker. He didn’t smoke in front of me but I knew he did and being the health nut I am, I knew it wasn’t going to work out.
Anyway, he started talking about vacations together and spending lots of time together. I mean, lots of time! He was also too touchy feely for my liking and I didn’t like the fact that he wanted to hold hands all the time. Is that normal behavior? I like being free as a bird meaning no fences around me and holding hands seemed like he wanted to put a fence around me. Instead of putting distance between us, I went along thinking maybe this could work out. I was walking into the “settling” mode. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I was tired of going out on dates only to find the wrong guys. Maybe, I just wanted to put dating aside and not have to search for Mr. Right anymore. He seemed nice enough, had stars in his eyes when he looked at me, and that phrase, “I will do anything for you,” landed where it should. I was feeling important and wanted.
“Real women are strong, resilient, independent, loyal, and lovable, one thing about them is they never settle.” Unknown
What happened to that woman? The same question I keep asking myself. Then I woke up. The fact that he smoked was definitely a deal breaker. The next big thing is I don’t like being touched all the time. I want a relationship not a “glue stick.” Unfortunately, I keep running into the same types, guys who think that “touching” is part and parcel of a relationship. Some touching is ok but NOT all the time. It got to the point where I was afraid to look at him because the moment I did, he was all over me. Finally, I decided to let go of a relationship that was going nowhere. I wanted one thing and he, the whole shebang! We parted ways on friendly terms.
Know who you are.
Know what you want.
Know what you deserve.
And don’t settle for less.
Yes, it means I’ll still be out there looking for that someone who probably doesn’t exist! Scary? Yes, but settling for the wrong someone is even worse. Take your time, don’t listen to the voices that say, time is running out. Walk your path the way you want to and never, ever, settle for anything less than what you deserve.
Stop settling.
Being cheated on is not normal.
Being controlled is not normal.
Being abused is not normal.
Crying more than you smile is not normal.
Break-up to make-up is not normal.
Stop suffering and settling.
Tony Gaskins
AND
“Stop being okay with things you really are not okay with. Stop associating being a good person with how much you’re willing to suffer in silence. You can be a kind person and still say, “I’m not okay with this.” Being kind is not about being the human equivalent of a doormat.” Unknown
When it comes to relationships, choose carefully, take off your blinders and go in with your eyes wide open. If you see the signals cropping up, the red ones that tell you to tread carefully, pay attention and shut the door behind you. Move on knowing that it is for the best. There will always be another someone, the “one” someone who will be your perfect fit or the someone who meets you more than halfway.
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”
The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back to the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled, “The Meaning of Dreams.”
The sun is shining and it looks deceptively warm out there. However, this beautiful weather is not going to stay for long as the weather forecast is predicting or rather forecasting rain and snow for tomorrow! We’re not out of the woods yet. This winter has been a long one for some of us and for others just par for the course.
I can honestly say that I want winter to be gone and the next season to make its way here. Perhaps, it is already doing just that. The daffodils, tulips, and other first signs of spring are sprouting their sleepy little heads and taking a peek at what is out there. It is still too cold for them to bloom but in time and maybe soon, they will show up wearing their spring faces. I can’t wait!
I’ve had two things going on and I’m not too happy about both. My dependable car had a problem and it needed to be fixed. It cost quite a bit to fix and then I was told that there was another big problem. One of the headlights needed to be replaced and I never expected it to cost an arm and a leg! Well, perhaps an arm. Anyway, now I have this excruciating task of deciding if I should fix it or look at getting another car. A woman alone looking for a car is not a good thing but I did do one or two trips alone and then decided to rope someone else into going with me. A guy and he went along gladly. First one, was a nice one, I’m talking about the car. It was compact and looked good but lo and behold, it had all new features which made me roll my eyes and shake in my boots! It had things that I had never heard of and since I have an aversion to change, I decided it was a no go. However, I was told that all new cars have such features so getting a new car was going to be a monumental task. I mean, bringing the horse to water and making it drink from it, that is!
The second trip with another guy in tow turned out to be better. I loved the color, a steel blue that looked good. Yes, that’s a woman for you. Color matters where a car is concerned. Then I took one look inside and it had features that I recognized! Even though it was a new car, they didn’t go with all the unnecessary Schnickschnack. It looked sporty but that is not necessarily important for me. I wanted something dependable and this one looked like it would do the job well without having to resort to hair-pulling when it comes to learning something new. So, I have a test drive booked for next week. I hope it works out and in two weeks I should have a new car with a six year guarantee to boot!
What’s the next thing? My son has the papers from his new job and it seems like it is a go as far as the new job is concerned. Now comes the part where I have to work on me to let him GO! Since I am a helicopter mom, this is a hard one for me. Some days, I am fine and others I say, I can’t! This too shall pass you say? I think you are right but my scalp can’t take too much more hair-pulling! Things need to settle down and I need a break from constant problem-solving.
One thing at time? Exactly what I’m planning to do. First the car and then the next thing which is coming up quick, like in two weeks! Oh God! I know I can do this too. That’s me trying to psych myself up. Hope it works!
I usually don’t do walks on Sundays but the sun is shining and I need to clear my head of unwanted thoughts. I’ve got “cars” flying past in one direction and my son with his bags packed going in the other direction!
Experts say “that laughter might raise the pain threshold and improve glucose tolerance, have positive effects on the immune system, and lower blood pressure.” Furthermore, “it enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.”
However, humor can’t cure all ailments but according to the mayoclinic.org, it has the ability to stimulate many organs, it helps to activate and relieve your stress response and it can soothe tension. These are just some short-term effects. The long-term effects can improve your immune system, help to relieve pain by releasing natural pain killers, increase personal satisfaction and improve the mood.
A daily dose of laughter can do wonders it seems. So here are a few jokes to get you started.
Police Inspector: Why didn’t you report your stolen credit card?
Husband: The thief was spending less than my wife.
Police Inspector: Then why are you reporting it now?
Husband: I think now the thief’s wife has started using it.
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.
So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm.”
The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”
So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky The King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.
Photo by Jose Ricardo Barraza Morachis on Pexels.com
A man walks into a barber shop and says, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.”
The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a woman with the biggest, most beautiful breasts he has ever seen kneels down and shines his shoes.
The man says, “You and I should spend some time in a hotel room.”
She replies, “My husband wouldn’t like that.”
The man says, “Tell him you’re working overtime, and I’ll pay you the difference.”
“HAPPINESS IS……a hot drink on a cold day.” Unknown
I totally agree. Sitting with a cup of hot coffee in my hand feels like heaven itself after being outside this morning. I was bundled up but it didn’t help! My fingers were frozen before I knew it and my nose was heading that way as well. The cold snap is here to stay for a while. More snow is expected later today and the rest of the week with temps below freezing or slightly over. This means the snow that is on the ground is going to freeze, thaw, and freeze again!
I recall one winter where we had a blizzard and it left snow drifts like a wall around the village. We were closed in and not much moved for days on end! Luckily, that happened only one time. Recent years have seen just a few days of snow at best and nothing to speak of either. It’s there one day and gone the next. I wanted more snow days and now, I’m getting it!
The problem is, this snow is mixed in with ice and that makes for a dangerous mixture when you are out and about. I love the soft powdery kind that looks like marshmallow as it envelopes the fields and the village in a glow of white. This current snow is crunchy as you walk and beneath lies the ice all frozen and ready to trip you if you make one false move. Walking is not that much fun because you have to watch every step as you go.
Looks like another day indoors with chicken soup and lots of tea and coffee. I’ve almost got all the Christmas decorations back down in the cellar and this morning, I brought the wreath indoors as well. Just a few more items to put away and I’ve got it made.
… to have his truck fixed.They thought it might have something to do with the transmission, so they couldn’t repair it while he waited.
He told the mechanics that he didn’t live far and would just walk home.On the way home, he stopped at a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem.How to carry his purchases home.Whilst he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.She asked, “can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer said, ‘well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to this house. I would walk you there, but I can’t carry this lot.” The old lady suggested, “why don’t you do this? Put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand.”
“Well, thank you very much.That works just fine,” he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way, he said, “let’s take my usual shortcut and go down this alley.We’ll be there in no time.” The little old lady looked him over cautiously and said, “I’m a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.How do I know that when we get in the alleyway, you won’t have your wicked way with me?”
The farmer said with some irritation, “holy smokes, lady, I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world would I do that?”
The old lady said, “well, set the goose down, cover him with a bucket, put a can of paint on top of the bucket and I’ll hold the bloody chickens.”
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