The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.
So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm.”
The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”
So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky The King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.
Photo by Jose Ricardo Barraza Morachis on Pexels.com
A man walks into a barber shop and says, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.”
The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a woman with the biggest, most beautiful breasts he has ever seen kneels down and shines his shoes.
The man says, “You and I should spend some time in a hotel room.”
She replies, “My husband wouldn’t like that.”
The man says, “Tell him you’re working overtime, and I’ll pay you the difference.”
“HAPPINESS IS……a hot drink on a cold day.” Unknown
I totally agree. Sitting with a cup of hot coffee in my hand feels like heaven itself after being outside this morning. I was bundled up but it didn’t help! My fingers were frozen before I knew it and my nose was heading that way as well. The cold snap is here to stay for a while. More snow is expected later today and the rest of the week with temps below freezing or slightly over. This means the snow that is on the ground is going to freeze, thaw, and freeze again!
I recall one winter where we had a blizzard and it left snow drifts like a wall around the village. We were closed in and not much moved for days on end! Luckily, that happened only one time. Recent years have seen just a few days of snow at best and nothing to speak of either. It’s there one day and gone the next. I wanted more snow days and now, I’m getting it!
The problem is, this snow is mixed in with ice and that makes for a dangerous mixture when you are out and about. I love the soft powdery kind that looks like marshmallow as it envelopes the fields and the village in a glow of white. This current snow is crunchy as you walk and beneath lies the ice all frozen and ready to trip you if you make one false move. Walking is not that much fun because you have to watch every step as you go.
Looks like another day indoors with chicken soup and lots of tea and coffee. I’ve almost got all the Christmas decorations back down in the cellar and this morning, I brought the wreath indoors as well. Just a few more items to put away and I’ve got it made.
… to have his truck fixed.They thought it might have something to do with the transmission, so they couldn’t repair it while he waited.
He told the mechanics that he didn’t live far and would just walk home.On the way home, he stopped at a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem.How to carry his purchases home.Whilst he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.She asked, “can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer said, ‘well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to this house. I would walk you there, but I can’t carry this lot.” The old lady suggested, “why don’t you do this? Put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand.”
“Well, thank you very much.That works just fine,” he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way, he said, “let’s take my usual shortcut and go down this alley.We’ll be there in no time.” The little old lady looked him over cautiously and said, “I’m a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.How do I know that when we get in the alleyway, you won’t have your wicked way with me?”
The farmer said with some irritation, “holy smokes, lady, I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world would I do that?”
The old lady said, “well, set the goose down, cover him with a bucket, put a can of paint on top of the bucket and I’ll hold the bloody chickens.”
“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means me too.” L.R. Knost
Taking care of yourself should be at the top of your list but it rarely is. We pull ourselves in different directions trying to appease others and we put ourselves where we are barely visible at times. I do. “Me too” is not what I think of when I go about trying to help someone else and often, I forget myself in the process. I forget that I need nurturing too, I need taking care of, and I am important too.
“Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Unknown
Take care of yourself. You can’t be much help to anyone else if all you’re doing is looking to see how you can put yourself out there being the “angel” who is there for the calling, the helping, and one who comes to everyone’s call of distress without thinking about the toll it is taking on your being. I did that three years ago when I came to the aid of a sick friend and I put myself through hell and high water to care for him only to find out that even though it was a good deed, the price you have to pay is a high one as far as your own well-being is concerned. Will I do it again? It is a definite NO!
“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” Jim Rohn
Taking care of your body is a must. You don’t do it to look good for others, it is a necessity to survive in a world where much is needed from you, and if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. Do whatever is necessary to put yourself first, take care of yourself first and the rest can follow.
“Take care of yourself. Go for a walk, eat your favorite food, get a haircut, cry if you need to, read a book, take a vacation, have a drink, do what you need to do. Take care of yourself, because at the end of the day you’re all you’ve got.” Unknown
As the year draws to a close, the one resolution that matters for next year is to take care of myself first. I do that religiously, but sometimes I forget when life rolls around with its demands and I forget about “me” in the process and take off to do whatever is necessary for someone else. A helping spirit is a good one but not when it is to the detriment of your own well-being. I’m going to remember that as I move forward into the new year. It is not being selfish, it is called self-preservation.
“When you start taking care of yourself you start feeling better, you start looking better and you start to attract better. It all starts with you.” Unknown
AND
“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.” Jane Travis
That last one speaks to the heart of the matter. Removing yourself from the unacceptable can mean many things. Toxic people, things that drain your energy, and people who don’t give two hoots about your well-being. Put them into context, take a long hard look at what you will accept and what you won’t and go from there. Most of all, you MATTER!
It’s the last walk for this year. The weather has kept me away for the last week or so. There has been lots of fog and add the constant fine rain or drizzle as some may call it and you’ve got weather that is neither fit for man nor beast to venture out in.
Today, there is no sun and the same thick fog is playing havoc with visibility but now we have to contend with frost as well. Looking out of the kitchen window this morning I noticed that the rooftops are dressed in white making it look spooky in the dawning light.
I’m dressed for the weather. I’ve got my Down jacket on, gloves on my hands, a scarf around my neck but decided against a hat since I just washed my hair last night and winter caps do not do justice when it comes to long hair! Vain? You can say that.
The fields are shrouded in pea soup thick fog and it is cold, much colder than it has been. However, the trees are frosted and that right there is my belated Christmas present from Mother Nature! They look like they’re straight out of a picture postcard and gorgeous doesn’t even begin to describe it!
It was quiet as I walked, my hands shoved into my jacket as I took in the view before me. Nothing was moving except for a few crows picking at the frozen ground for whatever they could find and as I passed them they let out a loud caw in unison. They are loud creatures and not to my liking but they are a part of the fields and there are plenty of them here.
The herons seem to have taken refuge from the cold and that’s sad because my heart soars whenever I see them. I have a soft spot for them or perhaps for the luck they might bring. Out of nowhere, I spot three deer in the field. Suddenly, one of them runs towards me and my breath catches in my throat because that has never happened before. Just as suddenly, it stops and watches me as I make a loud clicking noise with my tongue more out of fear than anything else. It was enough to scare it away and they turned and ran off in the opposite direction.
The rest of the walk was calm and peaceful as usual. I can hardly believe that the year is almost over. We’ve almost gone through 365 days in a blink of an eye or so it seems. They say time flies when you’re having fun but that hasn’t been the case as far as I am concerned so why is time flying like it has wings? Could it have to do with getting older? Hmm….maybe but whatever it is, the new year is waiting in the wings and good or bad, it will be here soon.
Take care fields and I’ll see you in the New Year.
It is that time of year when there seems to be a certain something in the air. It just feels kinder, softer and gentler. People seem friendlier, more in tune with life and rushing around becomes a “must do” and even though the hustle and bustle is not liked in some circles, it is part and parcel of the season.
Driving home yesterday, I noticed the Christmas tree vendor setting up his booth for the mad dash of Christmas tree buying. Not fake ones but ones that make your living room smell wonderful and out of the ordinary as the countdown begins to Christmas. I’ve always loved the scent of fresh pine accompanying my morning coffee as I go back in time to Christmases past.
However, it is not just about the good times, joyful times, the cozy times, but also about the moments I still hold dear in my heart. Memories of Christmases past where a special someone was there and he made Christmas so much better. The sale of Christmas trees brought back some memories that also brought a ache to the heart. He is gone now but those memories remain. The way he would make his way here excitedly on weekends ready to make Christmas a fantastic affair. A fresh tree was a must, he got the tree and I did the decorating. Menu planning was left up to me but there was always something special on the table, he made sure of that. Presents galore were all his doing and he loved giving. The Christmas tree vendor brought back some memories as I am sure more will come rushing in as we get closer to Christmas. He’s an “angel” now, this friend of mine, having earned his wings and I’m sure he’ll be singing with the rest of the angels welcoming the season in. Have a fantastic Christmas, “my angel.”
“But I am sure that I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round…as a good time, a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely.” Charles Dickens
It is a time to rejoice, to enjoy the sights and sounds of the season, to breathe a little freer and to hug a little tighter. A time to step back, to sit by the fireplace with a cup of something warm and to take in the beauty of Christmas time. Sure, memories will rush in, they will hurt at times, you will shed a few tears, but when all is said and done, it is the most beautiful time of the year.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said “How about 50 dollars?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should, she was standing on it.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
I’m not going to saying anything although I’m dying to!
Sometimes you wake up and you have this perfect plan in mind. Mine was to have a nice and relaxing day today. I was going to head to town after breakfast and get the Christmas presents for the people I mentioned in my post yesterday. The day was brighter than it was yesterday but there was a wind blowing. Bundle up, I told myself.
The village where I usually go to was jam-packed with people! It was still pretty early but I guess everybody had the same thing in mind. I decided to get some money from the ATM and that was where my day took a turn for the worse. The first one said, “Card declined.” Hmm….no big deal, there was a bank around the corner so I tried there. Again, “Card declined!” It was a new card and I got the pin activated successfully or so the confirmation email said. So, I went to the supermarket and the same thing! I was PISSED! Nope, not a good start to the day but luckily I had cash with me. So I bought the box of chocolates for the mail delivery person and I got a box of dates for the people at the cafe.
It was time to have a good cup of Italian coffee so I headed to my favorite place in town. They had a skeleton crew going. Most of the regulars were gone and won’t be back till next year. I took my usual seat and the boss showed up. I gave him the box of dates and his eyes lit up. “I love sweet stuff!” I said, “Enjoy.” We talked for a while and then I left still pissed about the card. Pulling into my driveway, I noticed the neighbor lady and I realized I had forgotten the bouquet of flowers for her. It was still early so I made a mental note to get it done the next time around. She waved and smiled. We talked for a while and she told me about the health issues she was having. Normal stuff in this village. We have an aging population here. I didn’t realize it then but my day was about to get worse!
I walked in, put the shopping away and decided to call stateside about my card. I was transferred here and there, business as usual. I waited and finally a supervisor came on, I told her my problem and she said, “You need to send us some information.” I was getting PISSED again! It doesn’t happen often this pissing thing, but today it was there and ready to go off the rails! I told her you have all that information already. Nope, you’ll have to do it again.
I took out the paperwork and tried sending the information but Microsoft wasn’t having it! It decided to add more oil to the fire! I got the message that my password was wrong and they needed to verify my ID! God! Passwords and me don’t jive. There’s just too many of them and I found out just how many! After going back and forth, I decided to take a step back, figured it out, and got the mail off to where it needed to go. By now, half the day was gone. I had a quick lunch, put on my boots, jacket, and scarf and headed to the fields. I needed to destress.
Once I saw the fields before me, I felt myself deflating! It was cold, the wind was blowing and there was a horde of crows having a conference of some sort cawing up a storm. The witches were not there yet but just a matter of time I figured the way my day was going! I stayed on the graveled pathway, the rest were too muddy. Taking some deep breaths, I let it go. The stress, the anger, the pissed off mood, and whatever else that needed to go. It took minutes and I found myself relaxing. It never fails, nature always has that effect on me.
After half an hour, I headed home feeling like myself again. It was time for a nice hot cup of green tea, a slice of cheesecake, yes cheesecake, and some quiet time with my little sweetheart, Chachi, the cat.
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