These two go together where I’m concerned. You don’t see the one without the other. Fear has been my constant companion although these days, I’m less fearful than I used to be. Gone are the days when a “whisper” made me fearful! These days, I handle things on my own. Problems may seem big in the beginning but I’m willing to take a step back, look at it with less of a critical eye, and I make my way forward, taking it slowly and knowing that this too is just a glitch in the matrix of life, my life.
Self-doubt arises from the feeling that I’m “NOT ENOUGH!” I’ve always been critical of myself more so than others. It didn’t matter if I get told a hundred times that I’m enough as I am, self-doubt still rushes in and takes the upper hand. However, this putting myself down every chance I get is getting to be a part of the past as well. These days I look at myself in the mirror squarely and I know that I’m fully capable of handling whatever comes my way.
Last week proved that point. I had more than my share of problems where the house is concerned. There was a short-circuit in the kitchen which almost caused a fire. If that wasn’t enough, there was a leak in the garden shed that needed fixing. The kitchen problem will be taken care of in a short time and the garden shed got fixed on Saturday. One guy came by and wanted more than a 1,000 euros to fix the roof. An exorbitant amount for an old shed so I sent him on his way. Another guy offered to do it for 350 and I took him up on it. A really nice guy who did the job superbly and took away the old wood and stuff! The man who wanted more offered to finish the job in three days whereas the “nice” guy did it in one day! I gave him an extra 50 for doing such a fine job and he offered to come by this week and fix the door to the shed at no extra cost!
We are all capable beings. It is the fear and self-doubt that tell us different. The next time these two walk in, take a deep breath, look at them carefully, and put them in their place where they belong!
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