“Find company within yourself and you’ll never spend a day alone. Find love within yourself and you’ll never have a lonely day.” Connor Chalfant
Loneliness is defined as sadness because one has no friends or company. However, it is actually a state of mind. People who are lonely have trouble connecting with others because even though they want and crave human contact, their state of mind makes it hard for them to see beyond what they are feeling. At this stage, they often see themselves as unworthy of friendship, they often feel rejected and more often than not, they voluntarily remove themselves from what is causing them hurt and that is the outside world and so the vicious cycle begins and takes hold.
Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and being an introvert can all lead to isolation and loneliness. The effects are far-reaching and at times scary. It can lead to antisocial behavior, feelings of not fitting in and worst case scenario, it can also lead to depression and suicide.
Almost everyone experiences loneliness at some time or rather and it gets worse during holidays, birthdays and other significant days. Someone close to me is dealing with symptoms of loneliness and any suggestions of help is falling on deaf ears. He is hell-bent on holding onto his new best friend “loneliness.” I think we are our own worst enemy and when we fall, we fall deep and hard. We go into the trenches and it is hard to crawl back out. We tell ourselves we are not good enough as we are, opinions matter and we see ourselves as not worthy of interacting with what is out there. At times the outside world can be cruel and for someone who is struggling it can be more than daunting. What to do short of meeting with a therapist? Perhaps these few tips might help.
Be there and show that you care.
Be patient. Irritation is the common response. Show that you’re there to listen.
Join a group, exercise class or book club. There are many other options.
Do things you enjoy.
Go for a walk.
Share your feelings.
Practice self-care. Start exercising, eat nutritious foods and get enough sleep.
Love yourself warts and all.
Most of all stay busy.
If none of the above help, here are some quotes to see life from the brighter side.
“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” Mandy Hale
“It’s impossible to be lonely when you’re zesting an orange. Scrape the soft rind once and the whole room fills with fruit. Look around: you have more than enough. Always have. You just didn’t notice until now.” Mary Oliver
I love this one.
“If you are feeling lonely know that you’ll always have:
Books to nurture your mind. Hands to create and explore. Wind to calm your soul. Breathes to soothe your nerves. Nature to soak your worries away. Stars to decorate your dreams.” Emma Xie
Have an amazing day.
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