The last couple of days haven’t been typical meaning that it hasn’t been normal with nothing much happening.
Most days are normal. The routine never changes and it flows with the same old stuff. Slow wake ups, a lazy breakfast in bed, hugs and kisses from Chachi, the cat, and listening to the birds creating a symphony outside my bedroom window. Just routine stuff, nothing out of the ordinary and the day follows with more of the same.
However, a routine check up last week had me scrambling. The check up itself was nothing special, everything ok according to the doctor but they needed a blood sample just to be sure. I could check the results online they told me. A few days later I did just that. Everything seemed normal except for one reading. It had a medical name so I Googled it. My heart constricted in my throat and I knew that this wasn’t normal. A few days later, the doctor called. He wanted to see me. I asked, “Anything bad?”
He said, “No, I just need to talk to you.” That didn’t settle the uneasiness I was feeling.
I showed up at his office and he smiled. “How are you doing?” he asked.
“I’ll tell you after you tell me what is wrong.”
He said the one reading showed abnormality and it needed further checking out. “What kind of checking out? Something painful?” Pain and me don’t go well together. He said it would be similar to what I had before but with radiation! What?!! He continued ignoring the panic on my face. “I would suggest that you get it checked out just to be sure.”
That set the wheels in motion. I went into a deep dive. My emotions have been doing a roller coaster ride ever since. What if it is something serious? I won’t know until they check me out and I hate that radiation part. I’m a health nut and I hate anything foreign invading my body but I have no choice in the matter. It needs to be done.
No, I can’t control the outcome. I can only control my reaction to this unwanted and unforeseen circumstance. So I’m upping my yoga practice, taking walks in nature and TRYING not to think about the worst case scenario. It’s not easy but I’m trying and that is all I can do. Life is unpredictable as I’ve said here many times before and this is one of those times.
Typical has nothing to do with it.
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