I have many from a fear of ghosts, blood, sickness and the unknown but if I had to pick one and not from that list, it would be this one. It is the fear that “I am not enough.”
I often tell myself that I can’t do this or that or that it is impossible because I don’t have it in me to weather the storm or that I am not strong enough. I am learning that this is far from the truth. I have done so many things in my life and looking back, I don’t know where or how I got the strength to do what I needed to do to survive what life threw my way. I survived my mom’s murder, I overcame the disastrous effects of a divorce and I accompanied a friend to his deathbed and told them to stop the meds and to let him go. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. I did it all when I was faced with the circumstances and there was no running away from it and “I was enough” at those times.
I think we are all fully capable of doing the unimaginable when life demands it. In my case, I had no choice. It was there and I had to deal with it or drown and be washed away in sorrow, rage, anger and fear. I chose to stand back up and it took superhuman strength and the will to survive. The unknown or rather the fear of it is something I grapple with everyday but I know that when the next “lesson” shows up I just have to grab the bull by the horns and go with the flow knowing that “I am enough” and I will overcome whatever it is.
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