I need to stop being too nice! This “niceness” bit sometimes brings trouble and instead of shutting it down immediately, I try to find ways of making things easier for the other person and “BOOM” I find myself in the same old boat. I wind up asking what happened and why did it happen?
Let’s look at this example. I meet a guy and I can tell from the start that there is nothing that connects us. NADA! Instead of giving a flat out no, I play, “Here we go around the Mulberry bush!” The guy thinks that there is a chance so he keeps trying harder. I get frustrated and think, “Don’t you get the message?”
He doesn’t because I don’t give a forceful NO! Let’s look at another example. I have a girlfriend who is never on time. I put up with it because I am this “nice” person, not a pushover but nice. Anyway, this last time, we made an appointment to meet and I was there 10 minutes early. Twenty minutes in and she was a no show. I wrote but no answer. Forty minutes in and still no show and no message. Forty-five minutes later, she writes nonchalantly, “Ooh, I forgot!” If there ever was a straw that broke the camel’s back,” that was it! I finally came out of my “nice” mode and gave her a piece of my mind. It’s been two weeks and we haven’t heard from each other. When we do, I hope punctuality is at the top of her list as far as I am concerned. I can only hope.
I want to take niceness out of the picture and replace it with speaking my mind, saying it like it is and NOT mincing words! It is a hard ask but those are some improvements I would like to make in my life.
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