Uncertain, lost, directionless and confused. Those are some of the things I was feeling back then. I had lost someone close to me and I was at ground zero. It was scary and I was vulnerable. I was also back in the rabbit hole and afraid to budge. I had to come to terms with the loss and it wasn’t easy. I made my mistakes along the way and at times there was just no moving ahead. That was back then.
Stronger, capable, focused and moving forward. These are the things that describe me now. My life is not where I want it to be but I am getting there, one step at a time. It is still not easy and at times I think I’m not making progress at all. However, the truth is, I’ve made much progress. I pretty much know what I want in my life and when moments of stress hit like it did yesterday, I don’t give up as easily. I see a stronger person emerging out of the fog and one who is capable of achieving more than I thought I would a year ago. Vulnerability is still there but there is strength too. And that’s a good thing.
Is my life today what I pictured a year ago? I wanted better this year and I’m still not there yet. I’m moving forward and that’s for sure.
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