Becoming a Parent

It’s hard to describe the feeling. I never expected to be a parent so when it happened and I held him in my arms for the first time, the world stopped for just a second. He was tiny, wrinkled, and he had his eyes closed. I could see that his dad was taken with him, I saw the pride in his face as he held him for the first time.

It was my turn next and I got to hold him. The pain of the last 8 hours or so of labor flew out the window. I had a baby and I was a mom. Ok, he wasn’t the prettiest baby but I guess they never are when they first come into the world. I had a tough labor and the doctor who attended to me had ruptured something in the spinal area while giving me an epidural. It would turn out to be a major problem but all that was forgotten when I first laid eyes on him. He would change my life in a big way.

I made a promise there and then that I would be the best mom possible. The little guy was sleeping peacefully but I was roaring like a lion inside. There was something that rose up within me that day. I can’t put my finger on it but I knew that I was responsible for him. I also felt the kind of love that is hard to describe. The little being I had carried inside me, the one who had kicked to let me know of his existence was finally here and my world as I knew it was being turned on its head!

I held him close, cooed to him, whispered gibberish, kissed his closed eyes, and knew that this was love of a different kind. Being a parent for the first time was a euphoric experience and even though there were other moments that gave me a “high” nothing would beat that first moment when I held him to my heart and heard him breathing softly, at peace with the world.