We’ve heard this quote before, one that puts the spotlight on lies and lying and keeps it there. It goes like this:
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!” Sir Walter Scott (1808)
According to Mark T. Edmead, it means that “when you act dishonestly, you are initiating problems, and a domino structure of complications, which will eventually run out of control.”
Yet we all lie or have told lies in one form or another. It has become a pastime for some of us and for others a way of life. Some may be viewed as harmless in the grand scheme of things but in the long run, it morphs and takes on a different persona, one that could destroy and cause tremendous harm. The basic ones such as “white lies” are the least serious of all lies. However, after time “white lies” tend to lose their credibility and reappear as black ones if used often enough. The difference between the two? White lies are told to please someone and carries very little dishonesty whereas the opposite is done to gain personal benefit by telling black ones. It’s sole purpose is to harm while protecting oneself.
Let’s look at some of the other forms of lies. I will concentrate on just a few, the ones that are everyday fare for the seasoned liar.
Dawson McAllister of TheHopeLine has pinpointed many different forms but here are the ones that hit close to home.
Bold Face Lies
It is “telling something that everyone knows is a lie. As we get older, we try to be more clever with our cover-ups. Some people never grow up enough to deal with their bold-faced lying even though others know what they are saying is completely false.”
Lies of Deception
This type might seem harmless and at first some might even call it “white lies” but in actuality it can be used as a “powerful and hurtful tool. It can be very subtle yet deadly.”
Compulsive Lying
It has been said that “compulsive lying is caused by low self-esteem and a need for attention. A compulsive liar tells their mistruths even when telling the truth would be easier and better. It is more than ridiculous, it is a tragedy.”
This is the kind I am most used to. I was married to someone who didn’t think twice about the lies that came out of his mouth. Once he realized that his “lies” had power to detract and deceive they the “lies” became a way of life for him. I was on the receiving end and it hurt and brought me down to my knees but compulsive liars will not acknowledge or see the destruction they cause instead they will find bigger and better ways to get their lies across AND claim it is the truth and nothing but the truth. I used to say, “one day you are going to cry wolf and no one will come to your rescue.”
“Only cry wolf when the wolf is really there, otherwise you risk losing everyone’s trust.” Unknown
I have met many liars since then. Perhaps because I was in a vulnerable state in my life. Since I started the journey I am on, I am learning that I am more than I used to be. There is strength within this small frame of mine. Calling on all liars, please be aware. I am no longer your stepping stone and I can spot you a mile away!
“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.” Fyodor Dostoevsky
Nicely said but I like this one better.
“You can dish it out but you can’t take it when your called on it. Grow some balls and own up to your lies.” Unknown
Hmm….
Have an amazing day.
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