I have come to the conclusion that in order to get to where I’m going or want to go, I need to take a look within and clean house so to speak. On this journey of mine, I have to leave some things behind, throw some things away that have been living rent-free in my head and take only the good along with the lessons I have learned with me.
One of the things that I have struggled with for a long time is the knowledge that nothing is permanent, it may have a semblance of permanency but it only takes one puff from the wolf’s mouth to blow the house down. A house of cards that stands on shaky ground is not stable and when you built your hopes on that house, you are taking a chance, a very risky one as I found out.
I came across a blog on rifenbay.com which speaks to the heart of the matter. Harsh but true.
“A human predator has no morality other than what they believe to be moral for their own benefit. If they can emotionally, sexually and materialistically gain their way by being destructive, then in their own mind it is the morally right thing to do.”
It goes on to add that these narcissistic sociopaths put forth enormous energy into conquering their prey.
I met one such sociopath and watched helplessly as she, the other woman or more appropriately the predator walked into my life and not single-handedly but with the help of my than husband destroy what had taken 17 years to build. The aftermath left us in shambles. She was brash, full of herself, bold and unattractive to boot. If Popeye’s Olive Oyl had a body double than this was it. Add pumped up red lips and you have the picture of ugliness in more ways than one. Contrary to popular belief, they are not always better looking than you are. It took six months to wreak havoc and when it was over, so was our marriage.
One might say that nothing could have rocked a solid marriage but is there ever a solid one? Years of being together makes it seem ordinary and the day to day existing together does take its toll on even the most stalwart of marriages. This often makes it fertile ground for these sociopathic types whose only goal is to land a man, any man at any cost. Along with their arsenal of “anything goes” mentality, they will dive to the bottom of the barrel to scrap up whatever they can to hold court as she did.
“If someone is willing to cheat with you, they will cheat on you, as much as you hate to believe it, you’re not the exception to the rule.” Unknown
More often than not, it was the beginning of an unillustrious relationship wrought out of insecurities, lies, anger and jealousy knowing full well that what goes around may just come back around and in her case, it took 3 weeks after the split and she was out the door. However, I had learned by then that I no longer wanted the man, the one with the feet of clay. I deserved better.
I have met a few more homewreckers or as I would like to call them predators along the way. They stoop to everything to get their man, oops not their man but someone else’s. Desperation is not the word for it. I have a word for them but it is beneath me to say it here. Decency, it seems, is not in their make-up and neither is respect. If a man says, “I’m married, “I’m taken,” or “I’m in a committed relationship, hands off is the message. Unfortunately, it gives them more fuel and motivation to conquer and destroy.
Here’s the thing.
“Your soulmate is not another person’s spouse.” Unknown
Got it? Not really? There are enough homewreckers out there and enough men who will fall for their bait and that is the honest truth. Permanency in today’s world is built on shaky ground and that is the sad truth but if you’re lucky enough to have found the man who will show these women the door than more power to you. I’m learning that I will no longer do battle to hold on to someone who is not worth holding on to. Who knows I may just find that someone who offers permanency of the unbreakable kind. There is still hope.
One last parting shot:
“Behind every homewrecker is a mother who failed to teach her daughter basic table manners, respect and the right amount of decency.” Unknown
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