It’s elusive, it’s invisible and it has a tendency to play games with you but more importantly you may never find it no matter how hard you try.
I met a girlfriend for breakfast a few days ago and since we’re both on the dating circuit, she more than yours truly, our conversation naturally turned to men and their idiosyncrasies. She is less uptight than I am so that needle in the haystack does not need to be just one needle according to her. She claims that she has found a number of them hidden in plain view!
My “needle in the haystack” on the other hand has kept himself well-hidden and has given me the runaround. I thought I had found that special someone some time ago but at closer inspection I found out it was a fake, not a needle at all but something masquerading as that proverbial needle.
Who came up with that idiom anyway? I bet it was an old spinster sitting in some lonely loft somewhere needle in hand when she decided that it was a perfect way to describe her dilemma. Why a needle? Why not a saucer or a cup or something a little bigger and more visible? It would make things a lot easier, let me tell you.
The definition of a needle in a haystack is defined as something which is very difficult or almost impossible to find. It just so happens that is exactly what I’m looking for and it’s exactly the kind of thing I would go for. Easy is not in my vocabulary. However, after several forays into haystacks I’m about ready to give up on this idea. It seems I’m allergic to hay! I’m not looking for Mr. Perfect, some may disagree with that assumption, just someone loyal, caring, trustworthy, soft spoken and easy on the eyes and you’ve got my needle in the haystack down pat.
Since I’ve been on the dating circuit, I’ve met several men. My first date usually turns out this way. We meet for coffee and immediately I have an attitude. I’m silently pondering this question. “Why are you looking at me like YOU ARE the Big Bad Wolf?!! It goes downhill from there. Other times, they are narcissists, control freaks, liars, cheaters and just NOT my type! Get the picture? Maybe I’m just not ready to be out there again. Oh, did I mention I’m a recluse to boot? I LOVE my own company. Someone pointed this fact out to me recently. After several attempts to get me out of my roost, he said, “I think you’d rather be at home or out in the fields all by yourself and that is the impression you give me.” I thought, you might have hit the nail where it belongs.
If that’s not enough of a deterrent, getting to first base with me is like you’re in never never land. It never happens. My girlfriend, on the other hand, has made it all the way through to fourth base many times over and keeps moving easily to the next victim. Did I say victim? Oops, I meant conquest. Whatever rocks her boat but it is just not me which makes life and dating much much harder to do.
Today I took that walk again looking for answers in nature. This time around, I got none. I think nature is getting a little tired of me coming out there looking for something like it is a soothsayer. It was cloudy, grey and not a single thing was moving according to my naked eye but that is besides the point. I walked back home ready to go it alone.
If you ask me there’s no such thing as a needle in a haystack and if there is, why would you hide it in a haystack anyway! The way my luck is going, that needle has moved all the way up the haystack by now and I would need some kind of suction device to get it out!
So as I see it, I might wind up like that spinster I talked about earlier all alone in that loft pining away for a love that never came along. Only I would have bloodied fingers and I would be screaming bloody murder at that ‘whatever’ in the haystack!
“It’s a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don’t find it. If you don’t give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack.”
P G Wodehouse
There might be something there in that quote. I’ll keep you posted, now off to NOT think about that needle and to do something productive for the day.
HAVE AN AMAZING DAY
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