This seems like a basic enough skill and it should be easy enough to do but how many of us have problems with saying no?
I know I do. Taking the long way around, meeting obstacles on the way, hemming and hawing, and so on and so forth, but coming to the point and saying “no” takes forever where I’m concerned. I’m sure there are plenty of you out there who have the same problem.
Why is that? Why are we afraid to simply say “no” and I’m not buying what you are selling! Sounds simple enough but simplicity where this little word is concerned is a hard thing to do.
One source says that we struggle because it highlights, fear of conflict, a deep desire to be liked, and intense internal guilt,” and also because saying “yes” feels like the easiest way to keep peace in the moment.
That last part is probably it. I like keeping peace even if saying yes means peace flies out the window!
Here is a tip from my good friend, AI. Yes, we are friends and I must say “it” knows what it is talking about! Okay, start small, keep your replies short, and stop yourself from over-explaining. Sounds easy enough right?
Think again! Some of us have a reaaaaaaaaly hard time with doing that, yours truly included. I’ve stopped being the nice person, the one who bends over backwards to accommodate wishes and wants from other people, and here’s the thing, once the first “no” was issued, the others followed in its wake and it got easier.
Try it, it works.
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