Trump’s Persona

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A friend sent me this and I thought it was a perfect description of “Orange Jesus.”

The election is rigged…..unless I win.

The news is fake….unless it’s flattering.

Everything’s a hoax…..unless I tweet it.

Nepotism is bad…..unless it’s my family.

I’m rich….but you can’t see my taxes.

I’m smart…..but you can’t see my grades.

I’m a patriot….but I dodged the draft.

I’m successful….but my businesses fail.

My staff is the best…..until I fire them.

I’m innocent….but I refuse to testify.

Did they miss anything? Plenty but this is enough don’t you think?

Raising Chachi

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When my son left home to further his studies, I became an empty nester. Not for long because a short while later in walks this bundle of fur in the arms of a friend. This well-meaning friend thought I needed company and so it began.

Raising Chachi hasn’t been easy. The little guy in the fur coat knew what he was about and he also knew that the human stood no chance against him. He was right. However, the battle of wills doesn’t go unnoticed by me. He has all the bargaining power and me none. Recently I noticed that I’m running circles around him and he gets everything he wants.

The little Macho dictates and I follow! It’s not his fault because all he has to do is walk in on furred feet, look at me with those huge green eyes and I kowtow to his cuteness! What follows next is a barrage of kisses from me to him. I see the look in his eyes and I know that he knows, he’ll get anything he wants. There is no disciplining him because he marches to a different drumbeat, one that says, “She is putty in my paws!”

Two days ago, I came down with a cold so I decided to spend as much time as possible in bed. Chachi wasn’t having any of it! Healthy or not, it was time to get up at the given time. His alarm clock goes off at 5:30! This morning, he started his usual meow and dance right next to me on the bedside table. I ignored him and burrowed deeper into the warm blanket. It was a no go. After three tries, he started growling softly! So I turned around and said, “You don’t tell me when I should get out of bed!”

He jumped off the table and started meowing as if to say, “Yes I DO!” Instead of telling him where he could go with his demands, I obliged and dragged myself out of bed. He crawled into his cushion by the kitchen window and I went back upstairs with my coffee and breakfast. After half an hour, I crawled under the covers again. All was peaceful and just as I was dozing off, I heard, “Mommy! Mommy!” I swear he has it down pat. His meow sounds like he is saying, “Mommy!” Then I hear the pitter-patter of little feet and he’s back upstairs. Walking to the bed, he lets out a huff and a puff, jumps on the bed barely missing my face and snorts, “Mommy!”

ME: “What is it? Mommy needs to sleep.”

HIM: “No, you don’t! You’re just lazy!”

ME: “Chachi, go play with your toys!”

HIM: “No, mommy! Get up!”

I wanted to wring that cute little neck of his but instead said, let’s cuddle.

HIM: “NO! NO! NO!”

Suddenly he makes this weird sound and jumps over my head, lands on the other side and takes off. He was having the time of his life but I had had enough! I got out of bed and he took off running and I swear it sounded like a giggle! After a few tries, I caught him and staring into his unapologetic eyes I said, “I’m going to send you to cat behavioral training classes!”

HIM: “There’s no such thing!”

He’s right so I lugged him back to bed, covered him up with half the blanket, gave him a few kisses, cuddled up and he settled down.

Let me tell you, I didn’t have this much trouble with my son or maybe I did! I’m a lost cause where the little bugger is concerned but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

He is snoring like a lumberjack, content with his place in life. I, on the other hand, need to learn to work around the spoiled brat and I really need to raise him better. I see him watching me as if to say, “You’re doing a great job mom. No need to worry.”

Yes, from your mouth to God’s ears!

Have an amazing day.