I am learning as I go along that nothing stays the same. Life is an ever-changing landscape, sometimes good and sometimes bad. The good times come in waves and sometimes not at all and the bad, well it has a tendency to strike when you least expect it.
“Expect the unexpected and accept the twists and turns of life’s journey.” Unknown
Something was wrong. My body has a way of letting me know and so it was a week ago. I couldn’t shake the feeling and the symptoms made it clear so off I went to the doctor. A blood test later, he gives me the bad news. I felt myself growing smaller and my first response as it usually is with anything that has a tendency to change my life was, “Why? This is so UNFAIR!” Unfair or not, there it was staring me in the face and as I sat there, feeling small and insignificant, I blurted out, “I can beat this. Just watch me!” The doctor stared back with a somber look on his face, or was it sympathy I saw. He said, “You can try but a part of you is not functioning as it should.” I gulped but I had my brave face on. I walked out of there with my heart pumping fast but with a clear resolve to go deep within and grasp at the dwindling supply of my inner reserves, the place I go to when “ME” as a human is unable to deal with whatever that has thrown my world in a kilter. I went looking for the strength within. It has come to my rescue in times past so why not now?
“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, ‘You’ve got this, keep going.” Unknown
That was a week and a half ago. Since then I’ve cried, berated and shaken my fist at nothing in particular. After that, I put a plan of action in place. Friends have offered advice and help BUT when it comes down to the inevitable, it is you and you alone who will have to put on the armor and do battle against an invisible enemy, one that has the power to do more damage than you can ever imagine.
Cut back on stress, change your diet, workout, meditate and yoga are all on my plan to beat this thing. It has the potential to destroy if not reeled in. Knowing that, I am not taking it lightly. I have made some progress but it needs constant work and that right there is the HARD part. I’ve faced “HARD” before and it is nothing new but what if it is outside my control this time around? That’s a scary question and I am not looking for the answers right now. Focus, I tell myself, show fear the door and keep on forging straight ahead and that is what I plan and need to do.
“And one has to understand that braveness is not the absence of fear but rather the strength to keep on going forward despite the fear.” Paulo Coelho
Waking up to each new day is a challenge now. I have a blank slate to fill with things to do to get better. I tell myself that I have the strength to beat this thing. Taking one step at a time combined with resolve, I plan to chip away at this unseen monster and hope it gives way kow-towing to the strength within. There is hope.
“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” Brene Brown
Site Title 