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The Battle of the Titans Again?

Not quite. Next week’s debate will pitch a tired old man against a vibrant, young and altogether candidate who knows exactly where to strike while “old man” loses touch with reality, which he is known to do.

The ABC debate will take place on September 10th in Philadelphia. It is a much awaited event. The two candidates will come face to face with gloves off and ready to do battle. Donald J. Trump is already screaming “not fair!” He claims Ms. Harris was, “going to get the questions in advance.” The man is delusional if not a tad crazy. Feeling your age Mr. Trump?

The debate rules were agreed upon on May 15th. No new agreements have been made. One of the rules is, “The microphones for Vice President and former President Donald J. Trump will be muted when it is not their turn to speak. That would be something to watch wouldn’t it? Ms. Harris has a way of getting under Trump’s thin skin and he is known for hitting way below the belt. “Female” brings the worst out of him it seems. Only “pu**y grabbing” is out of the question this time around. He’ll have to toe the line. The lady is known for setting the stage on fire. Trump not so much.

I’m sure preparations will be strenuous boxing style I mean. Rocky Balboa comes to mind but “agent orange” will need more than training to get him fighting fight and thinking on his feet. Perhaps steroids? What do you think?

“Debating is not about winning or losing, it’s about refining your arguments and evolving your perspectives.” Unknown

The man doesn’t stand a chance. Kamala Harris can do the debate with her eyes closed. Trump, on the other hand, will have a hard time keeping to questions asked because all he’ll want to do is stomp on his nemesis and try to drown out her voice any which way he can. Either way, my money is on Kamala Harris. She will emerge the winner. And Trump? Well, he’ll be the sore loser as he usually is crying, “Foul!” Sour grapes Trump is no match for the Titan who is going to slay him with her sweet smile, lots of hutzpah, intelligence and know-how! It will be a knockdown like no other and no one will be able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” Muhammed Ali

The Serial Cheater

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There are cheaters and there are cheaters! What’s the difference? According to choosingtherapy.com, “Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.”

Cheating is NOT a mistake.

“If you’re truly in love with someone, you will not be able to kiss someone else without tasting your loved ones tears strain your lips. You will not be able to take your clothes off for someone else without feeling like a field ripped bare to its soil. Cheating is a choice. It’s a choice you made because you obviously didn’t give a single f**k about your relationship.” Unknown

Serial cheaters are repeat offenders. They don’t give a flying flip about the person they are cheating on. They can look you in the eye and lie through their teeth. If you’re questioning if your partner is cheating on you, you probably have good cause to feel that way. Cheaters are adapt at hiding what they’ve been doing but there is always a giveaway in more ways than one. They, the serial cheater, will stand on his head and tell you your imagination is running wild but if he takes off and there are long silences OR if he calls to say, “Hi!” and is gone again, it’s his guilty conscience acting up although some serial cheaters have done it so many times that they just move to fresher pasture if caught in the act.

“When you fully trust someone without any doubt, you finally get one of two results! A person for life or a lesson for life.” Unknown

Pay attention and choose the right one before it’s too late. What about remorse? Unfortunately, serial cheaters have little of this commodity. Empathy might take the form of a few tears but believe me, they are convinced that there are many more fish in the water. You are better off throwing them back in the pond where you found them. The “dirty pond” teeming with tainted men and women who are more their kind.

“Only desperate women go after someone else’s man.” Unknown

Yes, it definitely hurts to move on but after gaining some experience of the unsavory kind, you’ll be glad to give them to whoever wants them. Life is too short for staying in mistakes, there are good men out there who will want a good woman. It may not feel that way at first but the first step is to walk away. All the rest will fall in place. I told a guy once that I couldn’t find myself in bed with him after he had been with someone else! The “Ekel factor” would be too much to bear. So it is “Adios Muchachos” for me!

It might be different for you. Choose wisely and walk tall. The man of your dreams is around the corner, keep your eyes peeled and soon he might just walk in.

SHOOTER!

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Here we go again! Another day, another shooting. The news screamed 4 killed and nine injured in a shooting at a Georgia high school.

The shooter is a 14-year-old boy armed with an “AR Platform style weapon,” which is a semiautomatic rifle and the dead were two 14-year-old students, Mason Schermerhorn and Christian Angulo and two teachers, Richard Aspinwall, 39, and Christina Irimie, 53. The nine injured are expected to survive.

Shifting through the anger, mayhem, shock and sadness, the question arises as it always does after a shooting of this magnitude. WHY? What was a 14-year-old doing with an assault-style weapon in the first place? There are no clear-cut answers only that 4 more people have been killed and many others injured not to mention the psychological trauma that follows after each shooting. The shooter is in custody and will be charged as an adult.

According to livemint.com, “In the past two decades, the US has experienced hundreds of school and college shooting with the deadliest occuring at Virginia Tech in 2007, where over 30 people were killed. This ongoing violence has intensified the debate over gun laws and the Second Amendment of the US Constitution, which guarantees the right “to keep and bear arms.”

High profile mass shootings are a norm in the US and gun violence has been on the rise but even though President Biden has taken more executive actions to reduce gun violence than any other president, the violence continues.

Increasing background checks before firearm purchases has not helped much.

Increasing appropriate use of extreme risk protection (“red flag”) orders and safe storage of firearms has not helped much.

Addressing the loss or theft of firearms during shipping and holding the gun industry accountable has not helped amongst other measures has not helped much either.

Here’s the shocking statistic. The Apalachee High School shooting makes it the 30th mass killing this year according to the The Associated Press and USA Today which brings the total dead to 131 people. Last year there were 217 deaths from 42 mass killings in the US making it one of the deadliest years on record.

Where do we go from here? It will be days of mourning followed by laying the victims to rest and asking the question “why” over and over again. However, getting “gun violence” under control is a whole other ballgame. It needs much much more than just lip service and you and I know exactly what is needed to get it in control, don’t we?

Enough said.

Racist Cruelty

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Racism is abhorrent and ugly, and it plaques our world.

We must reject and condemn it without reservation, without hesitation, without qualification, every time and everywhere.” Antonio Guterres

Once there was a boy and a girl who fell in love and got married. The boy happened to be a prince and the girl, well, she was mixed-race.

The beginning was fairytale-like. Cinderella got her prince so to speak BUT then the evil forces gathered and worked tirelessly behind the scenes to rip asunder what could only be described as a beautiful love story.

Soon the girl was talking about taking her own life so the prince decided to give up his kingdom for the love of the girl. They moved faraway to quiet the storm and to get away from the evil clutches of the ugly people. Race mattered and the boy and girl had broken the sacred code. Mixed race was a no go as far as the kingdom was concerned. Pure breed was the only way to go as far as the racists were concerned.

They gathered forces and screamed out with all their might. Within this circle were the press corp, TV personalities, members of the Royal family and those that hid within their bedrooms equipped with a TV and a microphone. They spewed their message of hate for no other reason than pure hatred. The girl was portrayed as the ‘witch’ who stole the prince. Nothing she did could quiet the rage she had unknowingly unleashed simply because she had dared to cross the line and had fallen in love with the young prince. Love, in this case, didn’t matter.

The boy and girl were faraway across the pond by now but the ugliness followed them. Every move was met with furore of the worst kind. They had two children, a beautiful boy and a girl, but nothing could stop the storm of hate. The beautiful girl was now a symbol of hatred. If they could have, they would have screamed, “Off with her head!” as in the old days and watched with glee as their symbol of hate was put to rest mercilessly.

Racism and hate go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. However, racism is not a thing of the past. It is doing well with the haters stoking its fires to keep it burning brightly. How potent is it? In this case, it is enough to destroy a beautiful love story, enough to bring a beautiful girl to her knees and maybe even enough to destroy a marriage all done in the name of racism, nothing more, nothing less.

This is a sad story. Rumors are that the boy and girl are having a hard time and the racists are beating their drums with glee and thumping their chests at their handiwork. I hope the Duke and Duchess of Sussex survive the ordeal they have been put through and go on to live a long and happy life. Racism is ugly beyond works but the fact that it is thriving so blatantly speaks volumes.

“Sometimes racism takes the form of ugly words and actions. Other times it remains unspoken, communicated by hostile looks and secret snickers. But the most corrosive form, and often the hardest to address, is not being seen at all.” Kwame Onwuachi

TODAY

I woke up bright and early with good intentions all stacked up in a row to have a wonderful day. I needed to get a few things done and after last night’s struggle with my non-working computer and printer, I decided that today would be a good one come hell or high water.

The sun was shining and all indications pointed to a bright and hot day. I could hear myself huffing because I hate ‘HOT’ days. I took a deep breath and left the house with a smile on my face. First stop was the ATM. I needed cash so I headed to the machine I knew well. Right before I put my card in the slot, I mumbled, “Please don’t tell me it doesn’t work.” I could feel myself bristling but I bit my lip silently and pushed it in. It went through the steps needed and instead of giving me the money I asked for, it said, “Card Malfunction!” I couldn’t believe it. The lady standing behind me tried hers and it worked perfectly! I’ll try the bank I said and walked back to the car. I wanted to scream but instead calmed myself down. Remember, I had good intentions of having a wonderful day.

“A good intention with a bad approach often leads to a poor result.” Thomas A. Edison

I drove to the bank and before I could talk myself into more ‘bad luck’ I decided to put a good spin on it, a voodoo spin that is. I kept telling myself, “You are the luckiest person I know.” I repeated this mantra several times and pulled into an almost empty parking lot. Walking into the bank, I noticed that out of the two money machines, one was out of order! The other one had 10 people with frustrated and angry looks on their faces waiting in line. Could it get any worse and that voodoo thing didn’t work! I stood in line biting my lip and humming quietly to myself. After several long long minutes of waiting, I approached my nemesis, stuck the card in and waited for it to say, “Card Malfunction!” To my surprise, it spitted out the money and I grabbed it before it changed its mind. What was that about a good approach? I clearly wasn’t there yet. The day was just beginning and there was still hope.

“No exact recipe for today. Gather all available ingredients and whip yourself up something delicious.” Lin-Manuel Miranda

I was going to do just that so note to grumpy self, put a smile on your face, get something good to eat and head on home. I was going to have a good day even if it kills me!

“Today is like a ripe avocado, savor it before it turns into yesterday’s guacamole.” Unknown

I don’t like guacamole but I do love fresh ripe avocados. Just saying. Anyway, I made it home and things started taking a turn for the better. My book publisher just sent some illustrations for me to look at and they look perfect. I could feel myself climbing the ladder, the ladder of positivity I mean. Could it be that positive thoughts and a good day go hand in hand? Anyway, the day is definitely getting better. Working out to my favorite music helped as well AND doing nothing but vegetating for the rest of the day suits me just fine.

YOU DO YOU! Whatever it takes to have a wonderful day, do it. I’m adding one more thing to it. I’m thankful for this brand new day to make it the best day possible and I’m well on my way.

“Today is a perfect day to become better.” Unknown

Toxic People

We’ve met them, had to deal with them and been in relationships with them. I’m talking about toxic people. We’ve suffered the consequences but still carried on hoping that change would come. It never does. The outcome is always the same. It is often accompanied by pain and confusion. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is little you can do to change a ‘toxic’ person but you can protect yourself.

In order to deal with a toxic person you need to know their modus operandi or rather how they operate in their world. According to The Mind Journal, there are six types of toxic people.

THE NARCISSIST

Only cares about themselves

Lacks empathy

Truly believes they are better than everyone around them.

THE CONTROLLER

Tries to control everything around them.

Needs to be in charge of every decision.

Makes you feel like you can’t do anything right.

THE DRAMA MAGNET

Feeds off of gossip and drama

Drama seems to ‘follow them’ (they create it).

Puts you in uncomfortable positions.

THE ENERGY VAMPIRE

Drains you of energy, overwhelms you.

Creates problems and feeds on the negativity.

Criticizes and bullies you.

THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

Tells white lies constantly.

Manipulates and gaslights you.

Master of guilt trips.

THE GREEN EYED

Cannot be happy for other people’s good fortune.

Plays the victim

Minimizes other people to feel better about themselves.

These people often bring conflict, negativity and confusion not to mention pain into your life. Dealing with them is like walking on a minefield not suspecting anything would go wrong but eventually it does because they are wired a certain way. They are manipulative, oftentimes abusive and they will find ways to justify their behavior. Remorse never crosses their mind and taking accountability for their actions is a never never thing. They usually take without giving back.

“Just remember, we are all toxic. Every single human being is capable of being toxic, has been, currently is at times.

But some people have the desire to be educated on it and do better while others will ignore any accountability and continue to act the same way.”

Pay Attention

It is not clear why we keep doing circles around toxic people? Perhaps it has something to do with stupidity and the definition of stupid goes like this.

“Knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies.” Unknown

Toxic people for all their flaws can be magnetic. They tend to pull you in and make you want to stay for awhile and if love is involved, it brings a whole new dimension with it.

“Love is 50% stupid and 50% brilliant. The challenge is figuring out which part of it you’re experiencing at any given moment.” Unknown

Once you’ve figured out that you’ve hitched your yoke to a toxic person and don’t know what to do, the following quote might just help.

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about Removing Toxic People From Your Life.

“It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance, you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”

Painful but short and sweet and perhaps this is the only language that ‘toxic’ people understand. Unfortunately.

Stay Calm, Stay Focused

Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength in silence and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.

“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown

Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown

Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focus on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Have an amazing day.

MOVE!

Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin

What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.

“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’

However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!

John Wooden says,

“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”

Ain’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!

You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!

Albert Einstein once said:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

I like this one better.

“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz

Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.

MOVE!

Victim

A victim is defined as “a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action or it could be “a person who is tricked or duped,” or “a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.”

Which are you? Where do you fit in the victim modus because if you’re a victim you will identify with one or the other of the descriptions above. I relate to the last two.

“You only get to be a victim once. After that, you’re a volunteer.” Unknown

I’m not quite sure that I fully agree with that sentiment. I’ve been a victim many times over and each time I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around but when the next time rolls around as it inevitably does, I get dragged in to the same outcomes. Basically, pain, disbelief and anger. Does this mean that I’m ‘volunteering’ to relive victimhood over and over again. Or does it mean that I didn’t learn what not to do the first time around and haven’t learned from my mistakes? Probably both.

“The victim mindset will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.” Unknown

I didn’t even know I was a victim until it blindsided me which made it harder to bear. I was a relationship victim, more specifically a victim of deceit and I was the woman who got left behind. However, instead of picking myself back up and moving on, I chose to “dance with the devil.” It took years of soul-searching, of blaming myself for his indiscretions and worst of all cutting myself down to size and way beyond to realize that I was the perfect victim. I must say, I played the role well. I went through the five phases of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It doesn’t often play out that way and it doesn’t always happen in that order either because sometimes you are not given the chance to grieve because the ‘devil’ that caused the problem in the first place keeps hanging on and so there is no closure or learning from your mistakes. Since then, I’ve played ‘volunteer’ if you want to call it that to similar circumstances. However, I am learning not to play victim to circumstances I created myself meaning I knew from the get go what I was getting myself into and that I only have myself to blame for what followed. Is there something about the familiarity of the situation that reels you in or makes you want to play in the mud puddles knowing full well that you’ll get dirty but the “LURE” is just too much to resist? Perhaps. I am trying to change that.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will find myself along the same avenue at a later point in my life, not because I haven’t learned but because life happens and being a victim is woven into my being perhaps because I am too nice, too naive or I am the perfect victim type. Whatever the case maybe, I also know that if that happens I am fully equipped to ‘slay the monster,’ and put it to rest where it belongs because I have learned along the way and I am moving on.

“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” Unknown

So watch out whoever you are! If you’re here to play games, you better get going. I will no longer volunteer to be your victim. I’ve outgrown the “victim mentality” and I’m on my way equipped with everything that is needed to put those who love or enjoy victimizing people where they belong and that is in the annals of hell!

“We’re sorry, your request for victim status has been denied. You are being referred to the Big Girl Panties Department. Please stand by.”

Michelle Obama

The lady wore luxury brand Monse. It was a navy blue belted number with a sleeveless jacket that had a crisscross silhouette and matching slacks. Her hair was pulled back into a long braided ponytail. The look was “futuristic” but simple at the same time. The color was subdued and did not detract from her speech which fired up and wowed the crowd at the 2024 Democratic National Convention on Tuesday night.

She knew exactly why she was there and what she had to do. The message was hope. She began by saying, “Something wonderfully magical is in the air, isn’t it? A familiar feeling that’s been buried too deep for too long. You know what I’m talking about? It’s the contagious power of hope! America, hope is making a comeback.”

The applause was raucous but there was something else in the air. It was clear that Michelle Obama was a power to contend with. She kept us mesmerized as she took us through one of the best convention speeches of all time. The former First Lady not only gave a powerful and inspiring speech, she was ready to slay the dragon or rather the “Orange Julius Caesar.” She trained her eyes on the crowd and said in her no nonsense manner, “It’s time to do something,” and that became the rallying cry that rang through the crowd that night.

She wasn’t done yet. She continued, “Our fate is in our hands. In 77 days, we have the power to turn our country away from the fear, division, and smallness of the past. We have the power to marry our hope with our action.”

Then she singed it! What followed was her full support for Kamala Harris. “My girl, Kamala Harris is more than ready for this moment. She is one of the most qualified people ever to seek the office of the presidency.” And then she went after Trump and how! “Donald Trump did everything in his power to try to make people fear us. See, his limited narrow view of the world made him feel threatened by the existence of two hardworking, highly educated successful people who happen to be Black. Wait, I want to know: Who’s going to tell him that the job he’s currently seeking might just be one of those “Black jobs?”

That was a slam dunk if you ask me and a powerful one at that. I went to bed dreaming of sugar plums and all things nice. Wait, what about Barack Obama you ask? Who needs him when Michelle Obama single-handedly slayed the dragon. Enough said.