LOL!

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I found this totally hilarious and true to a T! I’ve had a couple of them pull up behind me and they scared the h**l out of me! So this one resonates totally.

DIARY OF A BMW DRIVER..

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars

First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew – that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They’re not free points either – they’re £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

The Meltdown!

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He walked onstage as a fire-breathing dragon, his anger showing, his face red or maybe more orange ready to do battle but instead the minute he opened his mouth, it was more of the same. It was one insult after another and lies that no one could keep up with no matter how quickly they did the fact-checking. Trump looked old and feeble as he tried to recapture the momentum he had lost as Harris grabbed the limelight and showed him who’s the boss. He was an almost winner as the bullet grazed his ear which catapulted him to a sure win but alas, Kamala Devi Harris came in like a trojan horse and the man who loves crowd-size more than anything else and of course the word, “HUGE” was left dancing in the dust as he watched his winning streak go up in flames.

Trump held an hour-long conference which was meant to revitalize his downward spiraling campaign but as usual his mouth overloaded any chance he had of coming across as a true leader and instead he zeroed in on his arch rival, the lady who has for some reason got him by the b***s and is not planning to let go any time soon. He might as well have thrown in the towel because he had nothing to offer as to why he is the better candidate but instead he came across as a petulant child in a grown man’s body.

His monologues were rambling and not going anywhere, he was incoherent, his demeanour worn-out, tired and fading just like the man himself and his insults were just that, pure Trump. He didn’t need truth on his side, why would he when he had lies to bolster his confidence. He went on attack-mode and stayed there calling Harris “stupid,” and “incompetent.” It was like watching the pot calling the kettle black, if you know what I mean.

He gripped about Jewish Americans supporting Harris. His exact words were, “They should have their heads examined.” He didn’t add that the lady in question is married to a Jewish man which was all the more comical. The rambling went on and on and so did the insults. He added, “She’s not smart enough to do a news conference.” Really?!! Kamala Harris attended Howard University and graduated with a degree in political science and economics. She has “smarts” oozing out of every pore. Trump, on the other hand, once declared himself as a “very stable genius.” However, he has refused to release his school transcripts and according to presidential historian Barbara Perry, “I think he’s our most cunning president and I think there is a certain amount of intellect that that requires. So, maybe for some presidents, they make up for lack of native brilliance and intelligence with cleverness. And he obviously knows how to work a crowd, so I’m not going to take that away from him.” Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Donald!

All in all, it was a disaster of a news conference. He praised himself, patted himself on the back several times, threw grenades at his opponents, hunkered down in the mud and acted like the spoiled little brat that he is. He proved several things. He doesn’t know when and where to draw the line, doesn’t know how to take it on the cheek and move on AND most importantly, the convicted felon and abuser of women is a sore loser, a wannabe dictator and lastly, he is a disaster in the making and definitely not presidential material!