mentality – Site Title

The Helicopter Has Crashed!

The definition of a helicopter mom is, “a mother who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of her child or children.” Furthermore, “helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead, overseeing every aspect of their child’s life.” Guilty as charged!

My son, the one and only, has managed to do well. He has finished his studies and after landing two jobs but not to his liking, he has landed his dream job or so it seems. He is going into his third month and according to him, “Work is good.” That’s about as much as I can get out of him these days. Just short answers that don’t tell me a thing! I WANT MORE! Yes folks, the helicopter is going down fast and it is not going to be up there anytime soon and it probably never will again.

He’s on the way and keeping everything close to his chest. The problem is I am having a hard time with being fed just morsels! The first time it happened, I thought I would go crazy not knowing where he was, how he was doing, and especially when the trains stopped running and he was left to find his way home on his own! I had to learn to deal with that.

It got easier as time went on. The less he told me, the more I believed that he was alright and doing well. It was my way of surviving the inevitable. He was a young adult and he was ready to fly the coop and mom just had to deal with it. Then I wouldn’t hear from him for a few days and I would ask my ex if he had heard from him. “No, I haven’t heard from him for about a week now.” What?!! That set all the alarm bells going and needed looking into! When he was good and ready, he wrote me a few words, the emphasis being on few! “All good.”

I am writing this because he has a move coming up next weekend. He is moving to his new apartment and he will be able to have his cats with him. I thought it would take place the moment he moved in but I was told from a third source, the ex, that he has a two or three week business trip coming up and it can only happen after he comes back. Why didn’t he tell me?!! The helicopter is going down fast.

He just wrote a few minutes ago saying, “Packing.” I thought he was talking about the move coming up. Nope, he was talking about a trip coming up next week and he will be gone for a week. Where is he going? He doesn’t want to say and I have to step back and not push. The helicopter has CRASHED!!!

I see the same thing with a girlfriend. She has a ten-year-old and she does it one better than me. She is up there flying the skies and I wish I can go back to the times when I knew anything and everything like she does!

The thing is I have to accept that he is growing up fast and is leading a life of his own. So far, he has done well on his own and I will trust that I’ve brought him up well and he knows what he is doing.

By the way, that “helicopter” did a good job of raising the kid!

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

This one got more than a chuckle out of me!

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs,

“I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car – NOW!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her own car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The Sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing! He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you’re having a senior moment…make it memorable!

credit: Nadeem Alipur

Victim

A victim is defined as “a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action or it could be “a person who is tricked or duped,” or “a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.”

Which are you? Where do you fit in the victim modus because if you’re a victim you will identify with one or the other of the descriptions above. I relate to the last two.

“You only get to be a victim once. After that, you’re a volunteer.” Unknown

I’m not quite sure that I fully agree with that sentiment. I’ve been a victim many times over and each time I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around but when the next time rolls around as it inevitably does, I get dragged in to the same outcomes. Basically, pain, disbelief and anger. Does this mean that I’m ‘volunteering’ to relive victimhood over and over again. Or does it mean that I didn’t learn what not to do the first time around and haven’t learned from my mistakes? Probably both.

“The victim mindset will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.” Unknown

I didn’t even know I was a victim until it blindsided me which made it harder to bear. I was a relationship victim, more specifically a victim of deceit and I was the woman who got left behind. However, instead of picking myself back up and moving on, I chose to “dance with the devil.” It took years of soul-searching, of blaming myself for his indiscretions and worst of all cutting myself down to size and way beyond to realize that I was the perfect victim. I must say, I played the role well. I went through the five phases of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It doesn’t often play out that way and it doesn’t always happen in that order either because sometimes you are not given the chance to grieve because the ‘devil’ that caused the problem in the first place keeps hanging on and so there is no closure or learning from your mistakes. Since then, I’ve played ‘volunteer’ if you want to call it that to similar circumstances. However, I am learning not to play victim to circumstances I created myself meaning I knew from the get go what I was getting myself into and that I only have myself to blame for what followed. Is there something about the familiarity of the situation that reels you in or makes you want to play in the mud puddles knowing full well that you’ll get dirty but the “LURE” is just too much to resist? Perhaps. I am trying to change that.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will find myself along the same avenue at a later point in my life, not because I haven’t learned but because life happens and being a victim is woven into my being perhaps because I am too nice, too naive or I am the perfect victim type. Whatever the case maybe, I also know that if it happens again, I am fully equipped to ‘slay the monster,’ and put it to rest where it belongs because I have learned along the way and I am moving on.

“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” Unknown

So watch out whoever you are! If you’re here to play games, you better get going. I will no longer volunteer to be your victim. I’ve outgrown the “victim mentality” and I’m on my way equipped with everything that is needed to put those who love or enjoy victimizing people where they belong and that is in the annals of hell!

“We’re sorry, your request for victim status has been denied. You are being referred to the Big Girl Panties Department. Please stand by.”

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

I found this totally hilarious and true to a T! I’ve had a couple of them pull up behind me and they scared the h**l out of me! So this one resonates totally.

DIARY OF A BMW DRIVER..

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars

First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew – that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They’re not free points either – they’re £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

The Leopard’s Spots

The definition of “a leopard never changes its spots” is this. “It signifies that people cannot fundamentally alter their character, even if they try. It also implies that innate traits, whether good or bad, remain fixed.”

Have you met one or two along the way? Did you choose to tango with them and in so doing lose a part of yourself? You’re not the only one. They’re out there and like the predator that they are, they’ll feed on you if you let them.

They are the liars, the cheaters and the ones who march to a different drumbeat. Not one of integrity, honesty or decency like people with good behavior traits do, rather they’ve learned they can prey on someone and when they’ve had their fill they’ll move on to the next victim with no consequences whatsoever.

“A leopard never changes his spots….he just changes what tree he sleeps in….or who he sleeps with.” Unknown

Are you hanging on to someone who doesn’t deserve your loyalty? Has he shown you his “spots” but you refuse to see them? Are you hoping that in time he’ll change? Or are you praying that you’ll be the one to change him?

STEP BACK!

Those behavior traits are ingrained in them. Perhaps, they can’t change who they are but you can change how you deal with them.

KNOW THIS:

“No matter how much a snake sheds skin. It’s still a snake.” Unknown

And that applies to the leopard as well. They’ll change their tactics, they’ll change their hunting style, they’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear, they’ll look you in the eye and make you believe that they’re the next best thing to sliced bread. You can do one better. Walk away before it’s too late and you become another prey in their animal kingdom!

“Something I learned about people…..if they do it once, they’ll do it again.” Unknown

AND

“Rain wets the leopard’s skin but does not wash out the spots.” African Proverb

It’s just a matter of time before those spots reappear and the leopard is ready to pounce again!

A LEOPARD DOES NOT CHANGE ITS SPOTS!

Keep your distance and stay safe.

Have an amazing day.

WILLPOWER

Willpower is defined as, “The strength of mind or determination to overcome challenges and achieve goals.”

Where has my willpower gone? I thought I had trained it well. If it wasn’t good for me, I said NO thank you and left it where it belonged. Nothing could sway me or push me into just trying a little bit. Nothing.

Until I met my nemesis. It started with a nonchalant trip to the bakery to get some cake for a friend. She loves her pastries and cakes. Displayed behind the pristine glass case were different cakes all perked to perfection and begging to be devoured but my eyes settled on a bland looking creamy concoction and for some reason it had my name written all over it. How much harm could come out of eating just a small piece of whatever it was I thought. It had no fruits on it and no added decoration to make it look pretty and yet there was something about it. I couldn’t put my finger on it. If I had known, I would have run screaming from the store!

“Willpower is like a muscle, the more you train it, the stronger it gets.” Unknown

Right, I had trained mine to withstand anything so coming back to that almost innocent looking piece of nothingness in that glass case. It was a cheesecake I was told. I’ve had cheesecakes before but this one looked different because it was almost crustless or perhaps because it had my number and was looking to break me!

I brought it home and that afternoon I took a bite into it. My eyes lit up. It wasn’t sweet as cakes go but there was something. I could feel my WILLPOWER crumbling and disintegrating into a thousand pieces. Well, it felt that way anyway.

The battle was lost. Every chance I got after that fateful afternoon I made it to that bakery or I found excuses to go by there. Each time the lady would grin and say, “I don’t have to ask. One cheesecake?”

Me: “Hmm…yes.”

All fine and good. Cheesecake alone is not going to bring my world down. I’m still fine on all other fronts as far as willpower is concerned I had thought. What I didn’t know is that WILLPOWER is a learned thing and when one thing crumbles, the other parts get shaky. Anyway, I was invited to a friend’s place for coffee and cake. Yes, you guessed it. He had cheesecake and not just any cheesecake. He said it was the best in the land. I politely refused but he insisted. I tried a small piece and put my by now non-existent willpower on the line. I raised that dessert fork filled with creamy cherry filled cheesecake to my mouth and tasted it. The portals opened and I heard, “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” It was sumptuous, delicious and mouth-wateringly good! I had two pieces and as my WILLPOWER cowered in the corner somewhere all but forgotten, “I asked, “Can you get me a whole cake the next time you go to that bakery?” He grinned and said, “YES!” My eyes glistened with joy but my willpower screamed, “I GIVE UP!”

“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of those pieces.” Unknown

I was there once. Hell, I could even say “No chocolate for me please.” However, chocolates are not cheesecake and to prove a point, the friend brought me the cheesecake I had asked for. It was beautifully packed and when he opened it carefully, I saw my ‘nemesis’ staring back at me. It didn’t know I was putty in its hands. To make a long story short, I had two pieces and it was scrumptious. Then I noticed all the other pieces mouthing, “Eat me too!”

“Rule your mind, or it will rule you.” Unknown

It’s time to break the cycle and to send my cheesecake fetish packing! I shut the cake box, put it in the fridge and made myself some green tea. It’s supposed to be healthy. Tomorrow, I will walk an extra mile in the fields AND I will train my WILLPOWER to heel when it’s told to heel!”

“It will hurt. It will take time. It will require dedication. It will require willpower. You will need to make healthy decisions. It requires sacrifice. You will need to push your body to its max. There will be temptation. But, I promise you when you reach your goal, it’s worth it.” Unknown

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.