Everyone knows that raising a child is not an easy thing to do and I think no matter how hard you try, there are instances where you wonder what you did wrong as a mother. I’ve asked myself that question many times over through my journey of motherhood.
My son, the one and only, was the sweetest kid before he hit the teens. It was hard enough reaching another milestone but add to that the stresses of watching a divorce in the making and you’ve got an impossible situation. He didn’t understand what had gone wrong and why his loving parents were wrecking havoc in his life. At that moment in time, it was all about him and he wondered if he was the reason for our breakup and even though I reassured him that wasn’t the case, his anger and frustration turned inwards. He became this rude and angry person and there were times when I didn’t recognize the child I had raised anymore.
I found myself dealing with his rude behavior, his resistance to rules, and just about anything else you can throw into the pot. Life wasn’t easy. Add to that a dad who wasn’t there and was too busy showing the kid that his “fling of the moment,” mattered more than his child and you’ve got an explosive situation.
There were words exchanged of the hot nature, of the unsavory kind, and all-around impossible behavior. Then one day he used the “F” word. It shocked me and I think it was meant to shock and it did. I thought I will never forgive that behavior. However, my love for my son is of the unconditional kind and after a cooling off period, I forgave him but I have never forgotten.
It took a long time for him to come to terms with the divorce and I think it still hurts but thankfully, he has finished his studies, has a steady job, and is doing well and that is the main thing.
What’s something you’ve forgiven but haven’t forgotten?
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