Tag: friends

Qualities I Value Most in a Friend?

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A good question because I’ve asked myself that same question many times over. I tend to be a stickler for rules so being my friend is hard because those expectations I have of how a friend should be is sometimes a barrier to true friendship. However, I don’t ask for more than I am willing to give.

As I friend, I am loyal, trustworthy, there when you need me and if help is needed I am ready and willing to do whatever is necessary but sometimes that willingness opens up the door to someone taking advantage of you. It has happened and some of those people are no longer in my life.

“Some people will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.” Darren John Maxwell

I had posted something the other day. In the article I made reference to something I was dealing with. The phone rang and there he was, someone who was close to me because at one time we were more than friends. Anyway, he asked, “What is going on?”

ME: “How did you know?”

HIM: “I read your post and I know you better than most people.”

So I told him and it was a good talk. I was thankful for the caring he showed and that folks is what friends are about. They show up when you least expect them to. Showing up is one very important aspect of friendship along with all the other things I mentioned.

“Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.” Christy Evans

Daily writing prompt
What quality do you value most in a friend?
View all responses

This Friendship Thing (Archives)

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“Sometimes you need someone to be there for you. Not to fix the problem or offer advice or do anything in particular, but simply to be there. To show up. To be present with what you’re feeling. To see what you’re going through. To see you, understand you.” Unknown

Can men and women just be friends? This is the question that popped up, “When Harry Met Sally,” and sent some of us scrambling for answers. The answer as far as I’m concerned is that it is next to impossible in most cases.

I used to be the proverbial tomboy in my younger days and as such I had some wonderful friendships with the boys I hung out with. It was nothing sexual but of the innocent variety. I had my pigtails tucked under my cap and my ensemble of shorts and t-shirt had seen better days but I was for all purposes one of the boys.

It all changed when I turned sixteen. I got asked out on my first date. He was cute and I accepted. It was also the first time that I had worn my long hair down leaving it brushed and shiny and I wore a dress for the very first time! Lo and behold, things changed after that. I was no longer “one of the boys” but someone they wanted to dance with and spend time with. However, this friendship thing was still there. I learned that boys and later men make very good friends. There is none of the bitchiness, envy or jealousy, it was just straightforward, “I’m your friend,” stuff and all that it entails.

Later during my university days “friendship” with young men was still going strong. I had lots of men friends and although some were happy to be just a friend, others wanted more and that became complicated and made things difficult.

Now, I’m finding out that men are not as simple as they seem. There is a thing called, “friends with benefits,” and it is not my thing and never has been. I’m seeking the pure friendship variety like I used to know when life was simple and innocence was front and center. The problem is no matter how hard I try to make it clear right from the start it never fails before it starts heading in an unwanted direction. Not too long ago, I had this conversation with a male friend. We’ve known each other for quite some time and we’ve done walks, lunches and dinners but nothing more. Well, just a hug or a peck on the cheek as friends do. Here’s how the conversation went.

Me: Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Pyjama Party? We can watch some movies and just talk?

Him: I would like some snacks.

Me: Sure, I can get that.

I was thinking this is going great. Just some company with no hassles whatsoever!

Him: I don’t think I can do that!

Me: Why not?

Him: I CAN’T!”

Hmm…does everything have to be sexual? He was honest and that was a good thing but I wanted my good old days back and the reality is, those days have flown the coop!

Let me ask you:

“Can men and women ever just be friends?”

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham

Have an amazing day.