February 2024 – Page 2

The Trojan Horse

“In Greek mythology, the Trojan Horse was a wooden horse said to have been used by the Greeks during the Trojan War to enter the city of Troy and win the war.”

In today’s symbolism, it could also mean, “an innocuous appearing container for hiding something within to get past defenses or some other obstacle. Trojan horses can be used for both good and evil.”

That said, the news media is ripe with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. Can it be, would she do it? Would she be willing to give up her more than cushy life of “just being” and take up the reins as the first female African-American president of the USA? Would she even want to try let alone put up with all that her husband, the 44th President of the United States put up with to let his light shine through the hazy, blurred and cruel world of politics where racism played a bigger than life part in his presidency.

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to knock the orange Cheshire cat off his throne of “I’ve got it in the pocket grin,” and do the world a HUGE and GREAT favor! Four more years of “all about me” politics is not my cup of tea and neither is it for all of us with half a brain I might add!

Trump’s problem might just turn out to be the no immunity ruling that Washington DC handed out not too recently. It was a major setback for “orange Jesus.” It reads like this:

“We cannot accept former President Trump’s claim that a president has unbounded authority to commit crimes that would neutralize the most fundamental check on executive power – the recognition and implementation of election results.” Furthermore, it added, “For the purpose of this criminal case, former President Trump has become citizen Trump, with all of the defences of any other criminal defendant.” That aside, Trump is still waiting on the Supreme Court ruling as to whether he violated an article of the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution and that violation could mean him being barred from running for office. Add to that the four criminal indictments and there is HOPE!

If Biden is lacking in cognitive skills, than Trump is lacking in morality, cognitive skills and has a severe lack of knowing what holding the highest office in the nation means. It is NOT all about him. Furthermore, we do not need a “dumpster fire” in the White House! Coming back to Michelle Obama. The lady has proved herself to be a worthy opponent. A graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School, she has more smarts in one little finger compared to Trump who can’t even keep a conversation going without resorting to monosyllabic words and even than just a few words that espouse him in a favorable light or so he thinks! At 60, she is much younger than “Orange Jesus” and could run circles around him in the Presidential debate. Her cognitive skills are in top form and she has her faculties well-placed around her. If all that is not enough, the lady has hutzpah, has a commanding presence about her, oozes class and dignity and last but not least, she has an ace in the hole. It will be the man standing in the shadows pushing her on to victory and that folks is a major plus.

Of course, the Trojan Horse symbolism doesn’t quite fit here because the cat has been let out of the bag or rather it is in the works. Who cares? My money is on her!

Harmony Montgomery

This is a heart wrenching case and one of pure evil. Harmony Montgomery, an innocent 5-year-old went missing in 2019 but it took years before she was reported missing.

Her father, 33-year-old, Adam Montgomery was indicted on murder charges over her disappearance but her body has never been found. The details that emerged of her life with her biological father, Adam, was harrowing, brutal and the little girl endured years of abuse.

It is believed that Harmony was killed on or around December 2019. After having been evicted from their home on November 27, the family, Adam, his wife Kayla, and their two sons and Harmony lived in their car, a silver 2010 Chrysler Sebring. Both Adam and Kayla, his wife, have criminal records. However, the brutality that ensued against the 5-year-old is mind-boggling and hard to comprehend. The child was struck many times in the face by Adam and endured unspeakable abuse as time went on. Child welfare services stepped in but they turned a blind eye to signs of abuse on the child. Even though the family was, “identified as high risk of repeat child welfare system involvement,” they wrote, “the children appeared happy and healthy,” in their report. Their last visit was on October 1, 2019.

The jury trial began on February 6, 2024 in Hillsborough County, Manchester and Adam Montgomery is now claiming that, “Kayla Montgomery was the last person to see Harmony alive and knows how Harmony died.” For her part, Kayla, the stepmother, is claiming that Harmony died after repeated blows to her head by her father, Adam, because she had committed the cardinal sin of being incontinent in the car. After the attack which was brutal to say the least, the defendant pulled into a Burger King and ordered food and ate it nonchalantly without showing any concern for the little girl in the back seat of his car. To make matters worse or even more horrific, he toted the dead body in a duffle bag, tied up in trash bags all over Manchester for months to come.

Lock him up or rather lock them both up and throw away the keys, you say? It might just come to that but for now the trial is ongoing and more and more horrid details are coming to light. For instance, Adam said, “he placed Harmony’s body in a cooler and stowed her over a vent in a shelter he shared with his wife and two sons. Then, he placed Harmony’s body in a closet when neighbors complained of the smell, and then snuck her remains into his workplace freezer.” In March 2020, he put her remains in a U-Haul and disposed of the remains at an undisclosed location.

Evil at its best? Adam Montgomery has admitted that he was guilty of abuse of a corpse and falsifying evidence but he has pleaded not guilty to second-degree murder, second-degree assault and witness tampering charges. He is pushing that part to his estranged wife, Kayla Montgomery. Whatever the case maybe, evil walks amongst us and that is the absolute truth.

RIP Harmony Montgomery

An angel rests in peace, free at last of the horrors that life chose to rest on her tiny shoulders.

The Man of the Hour

The first western interview between Putin and Tucker Carlson was “the best thing that ever happened to Vladimir Putin” according to Belgium’s former Prime Minister, Guy Verhofstadt. The 2-hour interview was a love fest between the two men with Tucker hardly getting a word in as Putin took the reins and let loose.

This song comes to mind:

“You walked into the party

Like you were walkin’ onto a yacht

Your hat strategically dipped below one eye

Your scarf it was apricot

You had one eye in the mirror

As you watched yourself gavotte.”

Putin had neither the hat nor the scarf but he knew exactly what he was doing. This was his opportunity to rant or rather “free speech” on his terms. His 30-second history lesson became a 30-something minute rant as the world watched in disbelief or as a friend put it, “It was enough to make your toes curl!” The suspected war criminal went full steam ahead and wasn’t going to be stopped, not by the former Fox News host, Tucker Carlson. It was his time to shine on the world stage and with his essay about denying Ukraine’s existence as a sovereign state safely turned away in a vault somewhere, he didn’t need it, he had it memorized word for word. Delivering the message with his beady eyes burning with conviction, he marched on to his own drumbeat.

He ranted about any and everything because he had to keep the interview going for two hours and that evidently was no problem. He could have gone on much longer and it didn’t matter that most of it was far from actual facts or reality. It was Putin’s reality and truth and that folks was what the interview was about.

When the interview was over, Tucker blinked with a clueless look on his face and said, “Thank you, Mr. President,” at the same time tucking his tail between his legs. If ever there was a lap dog, well, you know what I want to say.

The Control Freak

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“I’m not really a control freak but…..can I show you the right way to do that?” Unknown

In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy gets on the Yellow Brick Road which will take her through Oz to the Emerald City where she hopes to meet the great and powerful Wizard. In the dating world, it could be the path to your one true love but alas it could also lead you to the big bad wolf, the one who will huff and puff and try to blow your house down!

Someone with a control freak personality is defined as “a person who tries to make others do things the way that they want, even if the other people prefer to do it another way, and even if the initial person has no good reason for interfering. More specifically, “a person who feels an obsessive need to put excessive control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.”

Some reasons for this kind of behavior according to verywellhealth.com is that it provides the individual with “a sense of predictability, stability, and order.”

I wonder if we are giving too many “outs” to these individuals by trying to justify why they are this or that way? Perhaps the only explanation for this personality disorder is that these individuals have a nasty streak within them and “control” as they see it is just part and parcel of their daily existence. It’s my way or the highway and they’ve learned to get away with their obnoxious behavior.

What are the signs of controlling behaviour? According to Webmd.com, these individuals have the following behavior traits.

They insist on having things their way even when it comes to small issues that come down to personal choice.

They refuse to accept blame. You are to blame as far as they are concerned.

They need to be the center of attention and they love upstaging you. In the limelight is where they want to stand even if they have to stand on their heads to do it!

They’re unpredictable. One minute you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread and the next you are dirt under their feet. If you want to be on an emotional roller coaster then you are with the right person!

They lie because they want to control your reality. If you try to contradict them, then you’re the crazy one.

They want to be in charge of finances. They want to handle all of the money. It’s a way to place controls on you.

They dictate where you go and what you do. Controlling your movements gives them the upper hand in the relationship. They love sitting in the power seat. Threats, intimidation or anger are all used skillfully to get what they want.

Another name for this kind of abusive controlling behavior is “intimate terrorism.”

“If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.” Kushandwizdom

Most are hard to spot but if you keep your eyes wide open and your senses tuned, sooner or later you will see through the niceness after one or two dates. If not, you’ll notice the signs as you get to know them. They get upset because you’re smiling too much or because you don’t want to move as quickly as they do or something whatever it is triggered something in them, most times you don’t even know what that is. Suddenly you realize that you are being watched and scrutinized for everything you do. Life with these individuals is like walking through a minefield hoping you don’t accidentally step on one and blow yourself up. It is more than stressful to say the least so if you spot them, DISCARD and move on. Dating is stressful enough as it is but if you find yourself being caged in, WALK AWAY!

“As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible!” Unknown

Uh….Uh, NO THANK YOU!

Scammers

“There are so many scams on the internet now a days. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.” Unknown

Sounds funny doesn’t it but if truth be told those that have fallen prey to this group know that it is far from it. Heartbreak, sadness, feelings of loss not only of money but emotionally as well are the aftermath of being tangled in a scammer’s web of lies. There are plenty of these wolves in sheep’s clothing on the dating platforms and spotting them takes knowledge, know-how and treading carefully.

The men and women who prey on the weak, vulnerable and the lonely know exactly how to go about setting their nets and if you’re out there looking for true love online, be very careful.

Here’s how to spot these losers. According Aura.com, “Americans have lost over a billion dollars to romance scams in the past year alone,” not to mention world wide. It is a lucrative business for these unscrupulous individuals who don’t give two hoots about your heart, let alone your well-being. It is all about what they can get for nothing.

“The first step towards avoiding scams is to learn how to spot them.” Unknown

They have fake profiles and more often than not the photos are usually of attractive individuals with great smiles. Most of these photos are not their own.

They are quick to call it love even before having met you. Taking it to the next level in a short amount of time is their game plan. “I want to spend my life with you!” or “You are the woman of my dreams,” are the ploys used and for the lonely, it is a definite lure.

They push for personal information and try to move the conversation off the dating site and into somewhere more private so that they can skim personal data or information and use it to their advantage.

Once they have you hooked, the plan goes into action. Suddenly they need financial help and you’re the cash cow. Please send gift cards or cash to help me out of the predicament I am in is their usual battle cry and believe it or not many fall for it.

They will never meet in person and they will come up with numerous excuses for why they can’t. Usually they are on an oil rig faraway with only a cellphone but they can’t make calls but they can write you. So please add me to your social media platforms will be next. This will be followed by this is their last contract and they are retiring after that. Suddenly something goes wrong and they have no access to money so they need your help. It reeks of stupidity but not to people who fall for it. The scam continues as long as they can get something out of you but stops as soon as they realize it’s a dead-end.

How to outsmart a romance scammer? If you belong to the Lonely Hearts Club, remember that these lowlifes are looking for money, your money. Love is the last thing on their minds.

Ask for a current photo.

Request to meet in person.

Ask detailed questions because, “the devil is in the details.”

Request a video chat, this will never happen.

Ask for their phone number and if you do get it, it will be a fake number.

Their motto is:

“Let’s cut to the chase, you give me money and I’ll disappear faster than a magician with a rabbit.” Famstatistics.FM

If all else fails, remember what is too good to be true, usually is! Or you can say,

“I’m sorry, my scam detector is ringing.” Unknown

Whatever you do, know that they are out there in more numbers than you think possible so be cautious, get savvy and stay safe. It’s a jungle out there!

Narcissists

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Approach with caution or not at all! You will meet many different types of people when you put yourself out there in the dating scene so be careful. Here is one type that you need to stay away from at any cost if you want to walk away with your self-esteem and your mental state intact.

A young man sat by a river gazing at his own reflection. ”How beautiful he is. I wish I can be with him forever,” he said to his reflection. He was obsessed and couldn’t pull away. Eventually he died of thirst, hunger and unrequited love. His name was Narcissus and he was the son of the river god in Greek mythology. Narcissism originated from his name.

Narcissistic personality disorder is defined as “a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships and a lack of empathy for others.” According to the Mayo Clinic definition, they also have low self-esteem and are extremely sensitive to criticism.

“The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells.” Sam Vaknin

Scary? You better believe it. Ever met one of these walking disasters on your trek into the dating world? If not, you should thank your lucky stars. If yes, you know what I am talking about. The problem is you might be in a relationship with one of these types and not even know it because they are hard to spot. Here are some signs to look out for.

The number 1 trait of a narcissist is, “an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and they require constant, excessive admiration.” If that doesn’t make you want to slam the door shut on them, the following will help you to do exactly that. They are arrogant, lack empathy, are entitled, have feelings of superiority and grandiosity and they have a need to be powerful, successful, smart, admired or loved. They usually get away with wrongdoings and when denial doesn’t work, they turn to rage and all this at your cost I might add.

According to Dr. Brenda Wade, narcissists only think of themselves first and foremost, they want to win, they do not care about your feelings, they are always manipulating for their own personal gain and benefit and they make you think that you are the problem. Finally, gaslighting is their stock and trade.

Why haven’t you noticed these traits right from the start? It seems there is this thing called the ‘fantasy’ phase where you are idolized, more specifically it’s the where you can do nothing wrong phase, but it goes downhill from there.

“The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up. The phrase, “I never feel like I am enough” is the mantra of the person in a narcissistic relationship. That’s because to your narcissistic partner, you are not. No one is. Nothing is.” Ramani Durvasula.

If you have been in one of these relationships you might walk away questioning your self-worth, what you stand for and won’t stand for and more often than not it leaves you broken to the core afraid to step out there again. Where? The world of dating is fraught with many minefields as I have said before and this particular breed is nasty, uncaring and not worth your time. If you are going to be out there, arm yourself first with knowledge and if you should by chance meet a narcissist, RUN don’t walk!

“It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out.” Karen Salmansohn

Or this:

Relationships with narcissists are held in place by the hope of a ‘someday better,’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” Ramani Durvasula

Finally this:

The Narcissist’s Prayer

That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, you deserved it. By Dayna Craig

She nailed it folks!

Mistakes

“You can pickup a mistake and carry it as a burden, or you can set it down and use it as a stepping stone to greatness.” Unknown

It has been said that a mistake is usually “an action, decision, or judgement that produces an unwanted or unintentional results.” Quite often than not, the unintentional results can be painful, it makes us doubt ourselves and our judgement of others. It also means that the outcome did not meet our expectations. Therefore, it was time wasted or more appropriately it was an investment that did not put forth what it was meant to do.

There are different kinds of mistakes. It can be related to cheating on a partner, allowing people to push you around, dating or marrying the wrong person, refusing to listen to good advice or quite simply a frivolous disregard to what is staring you in the face. It’s there as plain as day, it is clear that it’s a mistake to carry on and yet because of the time and energy spent in chasing that dream, whatever it maybe for you, we refuse to call it quits and move on. We refuse to accept it as a lesson learned or as a stepping stone to something better.

“A mistake that keeps being repeated is not a mistake, it’s a choice.” Unknown

Just like it is in Groundhog’s Day, we see a “series of unwelcome or tedious events appear to be recurring in exactly the same way,” and this is not only boring and irritating but it’s time to get off that emotional roller coaster and head for greener pastures. The choices we make are hard at times. I know that quite often I am stuck on redial. I know that I should hang up and start anew but the human side or rather the foolish side wants to hang on for just a while longer knowing full well that I should count it as a lost cause, sunken cost as they say in business, take the lesson learned with me and make the decision to not do it ever again. Sunk costs basically means “that costs have been incurred by past actions and they cannot be recovered and they are not relevant to our future decisions,” and yet we choose to repeat it over and over again. I am human, I say, but that is putting it mildly!

Perhaps, it would be easier if we can forget the mistakes but remember the lessons we’ve learned from our walks into the big wide world of MISTAKES LAND and believe me it is a jungle out there. We’ve all made them, we’ll continue to make them and more likely than not we’ll rush in with our eyes wide open BUT it is the picking up, dusting off and the moving on bit that matters here. Here’s to mistakes both big and small. Bring them on!

“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it.” Paul Bear Bryant

From your lips to God’s ears!

Heroes Deserve Better

“Being a soldier is more than courage, it’s sacrificing yourself for something greater than yourself.” Unknown

A hero is defined as “a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.” Soldiers are heroes in every sense of the word. They risk their lives to keep us safe. They fight against those who want to take away our freedoms and rights, many lose their lives in the process and some come home injured beyond repair both physically and mentality. These men and women are heroes and they deserve better.

How many of them come home and become an afterthought? I know of one who did not lose his life in battle, he survived those, but the inner demons or rather the aftermath of war were the battles he still had to fight even when his service in the military was over. A veteran is defined as “a person who served in the active military, naval or air service, and was discharged or released under conditions other than dishonorable,” or as I see it, it goes something like this. A soldier is someone who “wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for an amount up to and including one’s life.” Unknown

My friend, the soldier, came home intact. However, the demons he carried within him, would take its toll on his inner psyche. He used alcohol to drown out the voices but his mind and his heart wouldn’t let him forget. To make a long story short, he fell very sick and his organs started shutting down one by one. He was overseas at the time with no family and one friend to see him through his ordeal. He thought he was safe because the military would take care of its own but he thought wrong. He was just an afterthought in the grand scheme of things. He had done his duty for his country and he expected that his country would take care of him for services rendered but he was yet to find out that was far from the truth. As one person I spoke to told me, “Soldiers think they can run to us when they find themselves in dire circumstances but there is nothing we can do, he will have to find his own way out of it.” The “it” meaning his sickness notwithstanding his few months of life left to live..

I reached out to the powers to be in Germany but was told in no uncertain terms that there was nothing they could do. I asked if they could fly him home in one of their planes and that was met with a no. I spoke to the Embassy but was told that it would take months to get an approval and when I pointed out he didn’t have that, they said they were very sorry. The Germans saw him as a liability because he was an American and there was no help forthcoming from them. Flying him home on a commercial flight meant he would need an escort and it would cost an arm and a leg to do that. He spent the last month or so in and out of the hospital and towards the end was transferred to a hospice, only after I went to do battle for a dying man. He died there a week later.

“I stand ready not for politics or for leaders, but for my brothers next to me, my children at home, and for a country I protect.” Unknown

How often have we heard this phrase when referring soldiers who had served their country, “We are so grateful for your service.” It is a superficial phrase at best because there is no substance behind it. Heroes deserve better. They deserve to know that their unparalleled service to the country they love will be met with gratefulness not in words alone but with actions as well. It wasn’t the case for my friend. I am sure there are many out there who feel the same way. If you are in a foreign country, make sure you know what your options are if you find yourself in the same circumstances as my friend. The truth is you are on your own and you will have to fend for yourself as my friend did but the only problem was he wasn’t capable of doing that. He was too ill. Luckily for him, he had me to fall back on.

When I die and go to heaven to St. Peter I will tell, “One more soldier reporting for duty sir, I’ve served my time in hell.” Hal Popplewll CUSMG 1971-1979

Rest in peace soldier

Laughter is the Best Medicine

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Experts say “that laughter might raise the pain threshold and improve glucose tolerance, have positive effects on the immune system, and lower blood pressure.” Furthermore, “it enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.”

However, humor can’t cure all ailments but according to the mayoclinic.org, it has the ability to stimulate many organs, it helps to activate and relieve your stress response and it can soothe tension. These are just some short-term effects. The long-term effects can improve your immune system, help to relieve pain by releasing natural pain killers, increase personal satisfaction and improve the mood.

A daily dose of laughter can do wonders it seems. So here are a few jokes to get you started.

Police Inspector: Why didn’t you report your stolen credit card?

Husband: The thief was spending less than my wife.

Police Inspector: Then why are you reporting it now?

Husband: I think now the thief’s wife has started using it.

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Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, “My wife is an angel..” The second man says, “You’re lucky! Mine’s still alive.”

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You know you’re getting old when your wife says, “Honey, let’s run upstairs and make love,” and your answer, “I can’t do both.”

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Doctor: “Do you do dangerous sports?”

Patient: “Well, sometimes I talk back to my wife.”

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When a wife says, “Do what you want” – seriously dude, don’t do what you want. Instead, stand still and do not even blink.”

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And now for all the single men out there.

Dear Grooms, once you get married, remember that when you discuss with your wife, always get the last two words right. ”Yes, dear.”

Feel better? I am feeling much better.