Bullying

“We explain when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you do not stoop to their level. Our motto is when they go low, you go high.” Michelle Obama

I loved this quote but it does not always work.

Desmond Tutu said it better.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

Bullying is defined as, “behavior directed toward one or more individuals that is meant to insult, demean, or intimidate.” BetterHelp

We saw bullying of the highest order being played out on the world stage by the current occupant of the White House not too long ago. Bullying is and was his weapon to get what he wants. Playing “king” and telling the world how the game is played is his megaphone and he decided to “Huff, Puff and Blow the House Down!” like the Big Bad Wolf in the fable, “The Three Little Pigs.” The wolf did his damnedest but the third pig gave him a run for the money just like Canada is doing right now. Their motto is, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall,” and it seems to be working. Bullies may roar and act like they have the upper hand but when you stand up to them, they run off and hide. However, there are the diehards whose only goal in life is to bring someone down. There are different types of bullying. “Physical bullying is when bullies hurt their targets physically. Verbal bullying is taunting or teasing someone. Psychological bullying is gossiping about or excluding someone and Cyberbullying is when bullies use the internet and social media and say things they might not say in person.” (kidshealth.org)

I met my bully in elementary school. She was tiny, dirty-looking and her clothes were torn and tattered. I held out my hand with a smile and said “Hello.” The next thing I knew I was on the ground writhing in pain. She stood over me grinning as she stood shaking her fist at me, the same one that had caused such severe pain. She put the fear of the devil in me that day and it would go on for weeks to come.

Playing on the grassy slope became a nightmare situation, waiting for the schoolbus after school was more so and going to the bathroom more than a nightmare. I didn’t understand why she was picking on me only that I was no longer safe. I came up with all kinds of excuses to stay home but that didn’t work. A few weeks later I had enough. It was time to do something! She showed up as usual, a knowing smile plastered on her face but I was prepared this time. Just as she reached out to push me down the slope, I turned the table on her. I pushed as hard as I could and watched as she tumbled down the slope. As she stood up, I noticed blood dribbling down her chin and a front tooth was missing! She looked at me with disbelief but there was something more. The next day she showed up on that slope with new found respect on her face. I apologized and it was the start of an unlikely friendship. Her mom had passed away and she was left on her own most days. She also had to help with household chores and even do the cooking at times. A life so different from mine. I still had my childhood before me but hers was hanging in the balance. We remained friends until I moved away but I still think about her sometimes and wonder if she made it in life. I hope she did.

How do you deal with bullies?

Talk to someone about what is going on.

Ignore the bully and walk away.

Walk tall and hold your head high.

Stop being too nice!

Don’t get physical. This worked for me but not always.

Try to talk to the bully.

Practice confidence and fake it if you have to!

Bullies are everywhere as we saw not so long ago and they could come from the highest office in the land as well. It takes more than guts to stand up to a bully. Sometimes it takes cunning and inner strength to weather the storm as Canada is doing right now. Pick and choose your battle carefully, learn what it takes to stand up for your rights and hold your head up high. Confidence is a “bully” buster in more ways than one!