LOL!

A man to the psychiatrist:

“What are the admission requirements at your psychiatric hospital?”

Psychiatrist: “We fill a bathtub with water and then provide a spoon, a cup, and a bucket. Then we tell the person to empty the bathtub.”

Man: “Ah, I see. A normal person would take a bucket.”

Psychiatrist: “No, a normal person would pull the plug. Would you like your room with or without a balcony?”

I wanted to say……well, never mind!

*************************************************************

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said:

“Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”

“Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.”

“But madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”