If there ever was a biography about me, that would be the title. It speaks to who I am and where I stand today. I am a petite person but as I wrote in one of my posts, I am a survivor and it took strength to stand back up and to face the world and life again.
I lost my mom to murder. The loss filled me with rage and hate and brought my life to a standstill. I wanted revenge at any cost. I learned that I could give up or I could learn to fight an unjust system through my writings. I did just that and even though it didn’t change the outcome of the verdict, I learned that there is power within and the will to survive anything. A few years later, I lost my younger brother. He is a cold case. The handsome young man was found floating in a pool of water and was too far gone for evidence of any kind. His killer or killers were never brought to justice. It took me years to let go of guilt because I was faraway at the time and couldn’t help him. I watched my long-term marriage go up in flames because of infidelity and it brought me down to my knees. Standing back up from this blow seemed like it would never happen but it did. Accompanying someone dear to me to his deathbed was the next journey I would have to take and I told myself I couldn’t do it or what was asked of me but I did and I am still standing.
I took to writing about injustice and that became my rallying cry or rather my way of dealing with the pain that was within. I have written about injustices of every kind both here and abroad and especially of the killings of black men by law enforcement. I have written about racism and racist practices and I have stood up with courage to speak out when I see injustice forgetting that this tiny frame is just that, tiny, but I have a megaphone and that I have a tool to get the word out. Strength is my powerhouse and the will to survive is built into the core of who I am as a person.
Daily writing prompt
If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?
Integrity, a word that is supposed to be the mainstay of any relationship but these days it is sorely lacking in our society and your ‘word’ is no longer what it used to be. Ethical behavior and principles have been disregarded for individual gain and self-serving self-interests. This lack is eroding all that we stand for including honesty and loyalty. The current downward trend and erosion of something valuable has far-reaching consequences because moral compass is a thing of the past for some and “your word is your bond” is a non-entity as far as others are concerned.
What is integrity?
It is defined as, “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” In other words, say what you mean, and do what you say.
Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:
“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” C. S. Lewis
“Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back.” Unknown
“Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment.” Unknown
“Wisdom is knowing which road is the right one: Integrity is taking it.” Unknown
“When wealth is lost nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” Unknown
“If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.” Chinese Proverb
“You learn a lot about someone by what they choose to do when no one is watching.” Shane Parrish
“People with good intentions make promises but people with good character keep them.” Unknown
A lie is a lie.
A white lie is a lie.
A half truth is a lie.
A hidden truth is a lie.
A lie by omission is a lie.
A lie is a lie.
PERIOD!
You are not born with integrity, it is a learned behavior. It is knowing or getting into the habit of doing the right thing even when it is HARD and inconvenient at times but it is necessary because it gives people the moral and ethical clarity they need to do the right thing at the right time and a person of integrity stands by their word and is considered to be someone you can trust. That says it all.
What were my parents doing at my age? I don’t know!
I left home a long time ago. Both parents are no longer here. Dad died of a heart attack even though he lived a healthy life but that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Mom as I have mentioned before died an untimely death at the hands of an immigrant who came in as a cleaning woman and who later took her life for some money and a few pieces of jewelery.
If they had been alive, I think they would have still continued a similar lifestyle. I come from a very religious family meaning Sundays at church and the rest of the time keeping close to the Bible and its teachings. I was glad to get away when I left to continue my studies because claustrophobia had started to set in but they taught me some good lessons that have stood the test of time and for that I will always be thankful.
Perhaps if life had been kind, they would be leading a quiet life carrying on their mission of spreading God’s word. Since it was not, I know they are at peace wherever they are.
“The difference between real love and fake love is this. Real love is so quick to resume its original shape after being stretched and expanded always to recover no matter what it endures.
Fake love is brittle, it breaks over even the simplest of things.” Unknown
If you are searching for love as I am, it is important to know the difference between the two. Real love takes time to cultivate, it’s not WHAM! BAM! and you’re in love. Some people may believe this is the case or rather they call it love at first sight. I had a few of those in my younger days but now that I’m older and wiser those butterflies in my stomach do not flutter like they used to.
These days I am a critic of the worst kind where love is concerned. If you thought Sherlock Holmes was good, I am better. I tell myself I am looking for true love, the kind that lasts a lifetime so playing detective to the hilt falls into the realm of weeding out the “fakes” to get at that one true love.
Fakes they are aplenty. They come out of the woodwork when you least expect it and in a blink of an eye, they’re in love and want to take it to the next level. The problem is if they winked at you once, they’ll wink twice at someone else. They’re prone to take it way past the winking stage if you know what I mean. They’ll love you so long as it is convenient for them but they’ll just as quickly run off to greener pastures when the opportunity presents itself. Dependable they are not and short-term is the name of the game. They’ll break your heart in a minute and move on without looking back and leave you to hold the remnants of your heart in your hands and wondering what happened. Don’t bother questioning why? Just know you want better.
The “real” ones don’t come out to play, well not often anyway. They’re the ones with integrity, self-worth, honesty and they stand their ground when it comes to love. They’re not wishy-washy but unfortunately there are not many of them to go around unlike the other kind, they’re a dime a dozen.
Needless to say, I’m holding out for “real” love. If it takes time, so be it. However, universe if you are listening, I ask that you bring him sooner than later, at least before the butterflies are totally dead in my stomach!
I’m not going to say I hope because according to a certain life coach this has a negative connotation and will bring more of the same. I’m going to say, I KNOW it will happen. Fingers crossed!
Currently, candidates for president of the United States must meet basic requirements.
The U.S. Constitution states that the president must:
Be a natural born citizen of the United States
Be at least 35 years old
Have been a resident of the United States for 14 years
What would I change?
Having seen what a convicted felon can do and has done to destroy much of what makes America great, I would say let’s add a few more restrictions.
No one older than 70 years old. A president has to be cognitively all there and any one who should be enjoying his retirement years out on a porch somewhere should not have his finger on the nuclear button! Especially one who opens his mouth and inserts foot!
Natural born citizen of the United States? Fine, and good. No problems with that.
Have been a resident of the United States for 14 years? Why not? If the qualifications are there, why not?
The person running for the highest office in the land should not be painted orange! Ok, I agree that was a low blow. However, intelligence should be a prerequisite. Someone who cares for the people, ALL people and not just a select few, if you know what I mean and I bet you do. Someone with compassion, someone who has lived a stellar life with no convictions, and one who knows how to deal with allies. Last but not least, someone who is not a schoolyard bully.
There you have it. The presidency deserves a modicum of decorum but what we are seeing is “monkey business.” Oops, did I just say that? Ok, I will apologize for that comment but we’ve yet to see one from the horse’s mouth for those “ape pics” and that says it all as to why we need to change the requirements.
A friend asked me recently, “What do you seek the most?” I couldn’t give him an answer right away. It was a troubling question to say the least. I thought I knew because I had been working on exactly this for months on end but now faced with a direct question and I had no answers or rather I was unsure. I wanted to say “love” but the word that jumped in was “peace.” More specifically, “inner peace.” I think without it nothing else matters. It all boils down to just living for the sake of living.
What is inner peace? According to http://www.calm.com, “Inner peace is a deep state of calm, acceptance and contentment. It means being in harmony with yourself, others, and the world around you. It’s not about eliminating challenges or difficulties but navigating through them with a tranquil and accepting mind.”
Do I have that kind of peace in my life? Truthfully, I’m not sure. I have a tendency to let things rattle me, unnerve me, shake me to the core and kick me off balance. I know I have stress and that is nothing new. Dealing with stress has always been an uphill battle but I’m doing better. However, I still have a long ways to go. The question then arose, how do I go about securing inner peace? The kind that gives me a deep state of calm and paints my world a beautiful shade of pink? The quote below might work.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron
Sounds simple enough but let me tell you, it’s a hard one for me. I let people control my feelings, emotions and my reactions and that is the first problem. I needed simpler solutions to a tough question so I decided to go looking and turns out I’ve been doing them already!
Breathe it says. Take time out in the day to just breathe and let go. I’m learning all kinds of breathing techniques and it is not just about taking a breath in and expelling it out. The experts have honed breathing to a new high. Breathing has gone high-tech but the original version still works. Try it for a slice of good old-fashioned peace.
Mindfulness is the other technique used to achieve inner peace. Live in the present, embrace it, let it unfold and do not control. Life knows exactly what to do. A really hard one for me as I wanted the answers yesterday!
Meditation is a gold mine and don’t I know it. My early morning and evening meditation practices have worked wonders in my life. I’m calmer, my reaction to unwanted challenges is slower and my mind seems quieter than it used to be. Worth a try if tranquil peace is what you’re searching for. It takes practice to calm that fidgety mind but time and patience will get you there. There is a plus, there is nothing more delicious than unadulterated inner peace.
Nature, connect with it and it will instill peace to the depths of your soul. Something as simple as a walk will take you there. Fresh air and nature’s beauty will clear your mind and you will get a different perspective on life looking at it through nature’s viewpoint. Everything has a time and place, do not rush that is the message.
Practicing gratefulness is a big one. I’ve started practicing this simple concept and my glass went from half empty to actually quite full. Do it often enough and you won’t be lacking anything at all! Too simple? I know. Given time this technique does work because it changes your mindset from negative to a more positive one and we all need that.
If none of the above methods work, do this instead.
“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” Robert J. Sawyer
Ever since that question was thrown in my direction, I’ve been thinking about the mindset for inner peace and I have come to the conclusion that all roads lead to “inner peace” first. If you want to have a life free from chaos, disarray and turmoil, work towards inner peace and all the other things will fall into place. Challenges are a part of life both big, small and the daily variety but you can overcome if you focus, work on clearing it and MOVE ON! Standing still in one place for too long would be a big mistake. The Gambler song gives us some tips on how to do exactly that.
If you’re gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right.
You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run….
Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin’
Is knowing what to to throw away
And knowin’ what to keep
Those last three lines speak to the matter of inner peace.
Figure it out, have confidence in yourself and HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!
As a young girl with my head in the clouds, I used to dream about this house with a white picket fence around it. It wasn’t anything special but that fence made it extra special. Go figure!
Fast forward to the here and now and it is the home I currently live in. It was the house we (my husband and I) bought when we were looking for a place of our own. I recall he did not want it as it wasn’t big enough but I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. It did not have a white picket fence but a wooden one and it was good enough for me. Today, it does have one, a white fence out front and a green one surrounding the house.
It is too big for one person and some of the rooms are unused but there is something comforting about it. It just feels like home and that makes it my dream home. The furnishing within is of the eclectic kind, lots of antiques mixed in with modern pieces and somehow it all blends together into a cohesive mix. Again, it exudes charm, warmth and a sense of cosiness. The nicest thing about it is that “nature” in all its rambling beauty is just minutes away!
If I woke up one morning and and found out that I had won the lottery, now, that would be great news! Not a chance of that happening but if it did, I think I would go silent probably out of shock! Financial independence gives a false sense of security because there are other things needed to round off that security issue but “money” does help as we all know and no matter how much we have, we always want more, human nature I supp0se. So go silent first and then jump for joy!
If that is not in the cards, a call or text from a producer saying that my book had caught his/her attention and they want to make it into a a movie would definitely make my day. Now, that would be great news indeed! How is the book doing? It is doing well but hasn’t hit best seller status. I wasn’t expecting it to but even though it hasn’t done that, there is still hope that it catches the eye of someone BIG and makes it into movie history! That would be something. One can only hope and wish.
Will it happen? I’m not holding my breath but it would be a great surprise and one to my liking. Universe do your thing and if it is at all possible, place it right in front of their noses!
Fingers, toes and everything else crossed!
Daily writing prompt
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
A man who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as “she” and “her.” He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women reported that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
The men on the other hand concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
No one but the Creator understands the internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Hmm….
Good one but incase you’re wondering computers are gender neutral.
Reading used to be a hobby I indulged in with a passion. I used to have my nose in books every chance I got but it is no longer the case now. I do miss the days of traveling without leaving home, of visiting faraway lands, of kissing princes who were not “frogs” and of living a fairytale existence. I reveled in “happy ever afters” and I let the imaginary world guide my existence. I loved it all. Then I discovered writing and realized that I could do the same and my world took off running and reading was put on the backburner. I still read but when I need to have my nose in a book, it is of the cookbook variety!
Jogging was an activity I thoroughly enjoyed. I remember meeting up with a group of friends at around 5:00 a.m. as we headed off for a three-mile jog. The world was still asleep while the group of us took off pounding the pavement all the time talking and laughing about nothing in particular. The joints were working fine then and “youth” kept us going. I gave it up in my 20s because I read somewhere that it (jogging) put too much stress on the joints and could cause problems later on. I decided to err on the side of caution and took to walking instead. It has been a safer choice and serves me well.
If I could, I would love to get back to reading but somehow I can’t. I don’t know why. I do miss those days but I guess time changes things and who knows at some point I might go back to it but just not right now. Jogging is done with. I can’t see myself doing that ever again. The closest I get to jogging these days is running on the spot but that too only for a few minutes at a time!
Time changes things.
Daily writing prompt
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
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