Bullying

“We explain when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you do not stoop to their level. Our motto is when they go low, you go high.” Michelle Obama

I loved this quote but it does not always work.

Desmond Tutu said it better.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

Bullying is defined as, “behavior directed toward one or more individuals that is meant to insult, demean, or intimidate.” BetterHelp

We saw bullying of the highest order being played out on the world stage by the current occupant of the White House not too long ago. Bullying is and was his weapon to get what he wants. Playing “king” and telling the world how the game is played is his megaphone and he decided to “Huff, Puff and Blow the House Down!” like the Big Bad Wolf in the fable, “The Three Little Pigs.” The wolf did his damnedest but the third pig gave him a run for the money just like Canada is doing right now. Their motto is, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall,” and it seems to be working. Bullies may roar and act like they have the upper hand but when you stand up to them, they run off and hide. However, there are the diehards whose only goal in life is to bring someone down. There are different types of bullying. “Physical bullying is when bullies hurt their targets physically. Verbal bullying is taunting or teasing someone. Psychological bullying is gossiping about or excluding someone and Cyberbullying is when bullies use the internet and social media and say things they might not say in person.” (kidshealth.org)

I met my bully in elementary school. She was tiny, dirty-looking and her clothes were torn and tattered. I held out my hand with a smile and said “Hello.” The next thing I knew I was on the ground writhing in pain. She stood over me grinning as she stood shaking her fist at me, the same one that had caused such severe pain. She put the fear of the devil in me that day and it would go on for weeks to come.

Playing on the grassy slope became a nightmare situation, waiting for the schoolbus after school was more so and going to the bathroom more than a nightmare. I didn’t understand why she was picking on me only that I was no longer safe. I came up with all kinds of excuses to stay home but that didn’t work. A few weeks later I had enough. It was time to do something! She showed up as usual, a knowing smile plastered on her face but I was prepared this time. Just as she reached out to push me down the slope, I turned the table on her. I pushed as hard as I could and watched as she tumbled down the slope. As she stood up, I noticed blood dribbling down her chin and a front tooth was missing! She looked at me with disbelief but there was something more. The next day she showed up on that slope with new found respect on her face. I apologized and it was the start of an unlikely friendship. Her mom had passed away and she was left on her own most days. She also had to help with household chores and even do the cooking at times. A life so different from mine. I still had my childhood before me but hers was hanging in the balance. We remained friends until I moved away but I still think about her sometimes and wonder if she made it in life. I hope she did.

How do you deal with bullies?

Talk to someone about what is going on.

Ignore the bully and walk away.

Walk tall and hold your head high.

Stop being too nice!

Don’t get physical. This worked for me but not always.

Try to talk to the bully.

Practice confidence and fake it if you have to!

Bullies are everywhere as we saw not so long ago and they could come from the highest office in the land as well. It takes more than guts to stand up to a bully. Sometimes it takes cunning and inner strength to weather the storm as Canada is doing right now. Pick and choose your battle carefully, learn what it takes to stand up for your rights and hold your head up high. Confidence is a “bully” buster in more ways than one!

The Bully (Archives)

I wrote this a while back but looks like nothing much has changed, if anything the bullying has taken a persona of its own and it is terrifying if not downright disgusting.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“Bullying is the result of an unequal power dynamic – the strong attacking the weak.” Maria Konnikova

Trump is toxic, he is dangerous and he is a bully through and through. He has used the bully pulpit to his advantage and used his power to belittle those he deems not worthy of compassion or kindness. The man is ruthless when it comes to spewing insults. His motto is, “Talk first, think later,” and this approach has got him into hot water more than once. It seems his toxic nature is part and parcel of his makeup, character wise I mean. Furthermore, he is sorely lacking in how a President should present himself because everything comes down to one thing and that is himself. It is not about the people but about loud-mouthed, asinine Trump and that is why he goes from one gaffe to the next all the while with that Cheshire cat grin plastered on his face.

According to James Barber, who published a well-known study on presidential character, a good President should have the following leadership qualities:

A strong vision for the country’s future.

An ability to put their own times in the perspective of history.

Effective communication skills.

The courage to make unpopular decisions.

Crisis management skills.

Character and integrity.

Wise appointments.

An ability to work with Congress.

Furthermore, he added that Presidents must wear many hats and they “must somehow symbolize what American citizens believe to be the essence of their country. They must represent what is valued now and in the past. But even more importantly, they embody the direction of America’s future.”

Do you see Trump doing any or all of the above? He is first and foremost a playground bully who marches to his own drumbeat and that fact alone makes him more than dangerous. One thing he is good at is name-calling and he does it with such prowess that it is mind boggling. From “Crooked Hillary,” to “Pocohontas,” for Elizabeth Warren, to “Shifty Schiff,” for Adam Schiff and “Sleepy Biden,” for Biden but that is just touching the tip of the iceberg. Mr. Trump does not hold back when it comes to throwing punches of the unsavory kind. He takes it all in stride and moves on like the master manipulator he is.

He is single-handedly changing the characteristics of a President but not for the better. ”From referencing a television host’s menstrual cycle to using vulgar phrases to describe opponents to his encouragement of violence at rallies, Trump’s insults have known no bounds and have been a dominant storyline of the campaign,” and continue to be so even today. Other candidates have used insults and mud-slinging but not to the extend that “Orange Jesus” has. ”His speeches have crossed lines, pushed fact checkers to their limits and incited backlash – all the while further stoking the passions of his most ardent supporters.” Just look at his recent debacle where he said he would “encourage” Russia to attack any NATO country that does not contribute 2% of its GDP to the alliance’s coffers. It was a reckless threat which has contributed to fierce backlash in Europe. Does he care? What do you think?

Add to that his constant posturing like a peacock, running his mouth like a loose faucet and his GOD complex mentality and you’ve got a bully at his very best alas to the detriment of the country. Biden’s mental acuity is concerning but Trump’s playground antics and all out temper tantrums are far more terrifying if you ask me.

A New World Order?

What took place at the Oval Office yesterday was shocking, disgusting, malicious and downright shameful!

President Zelensky was ambushed and bullied not in any schoolyard but in the Oval Office by two arrogant and uncouth individuals who didn’t give a flipping flip if the whole world was watching. He was an invited guest not to mention a beleaguered but giant of a man who had been fighting against an enemy who he referred to as “the killer” and rightfully so. He had come to the White House begging for assistance but instead he got the takedown! Furthermore, he was labeled as being “disrespectful” but the only people who were disrespectful were the President of the United States and his VP who acted like hooligans on the world stage.

After the horrific blowup, Trump had this to say: “I think we’ve seen enough. This is going to be great television, I will say.”

Great television it was not but more like “Bully TV.” The ceasefire agreement with Russia and the mineral deal with the US both went up in smoke because the bullies in question decided to hold a shouting match instead. JD Vance further added,

“I think it’s disrespectful for you to come to the Oval Office to try to litigate this in front of the American media. You should be thanking the President for trying to bring an end to this conflict.”

Bend your knee and kiss the ring or else all hell will break loose was the message there.

Shortly after, Zelensky was out the door and all peace talks were halted by the new Chief and the man at the helm of the new administration. Trump further added:

“You’re right now not in a good position. You don’t have the cards right now with us, you start having problems right now.”

Hmm….what?!! What played out in the Oval Office was hard to watch but more importantly it signaled what the future of this presidency will look like. Diplomacy, compassion and empathy have all flown the coop and strongmen tactics, boorish behavior and siding with the “bad guys” is what it is about.

The White House deserves a modicum of decorum but it was nowhere to be found yesterday. It too had gone hiding while rude and bullying tactics were front and center. What’s next? Let’s “put the screws on” as bullies do to get what they want.

SHAME ON YOU BOTH!

The Bully