I’m not much into visiting cities or countries for that matter. If there is one place I would like to visit and spend some time there is the city my son is in right now. It is in the heart of Lower Saxony, central Germany. It is located on the Leine River, about 60 miles south of Hannover.
I’ve been there before but it was a quick trip and we didn’t spend much time there. The Leine River looked picturesque and the park seemed calm and serene. It is a university town and you see students all over the place. If you’re driving, pay attention to the cyclists! There are plenty of them and they have right of way.
Other than that, it just seemed like a nice city for a weekend trip. Lots of nice restaurants and a city center with lots of shops as well. However, I would stay away from the Bahnhof Viertal, the train station at night. Too many weird types hanging out there and I wouldn’t recommend taking a light stroll rather make it a quick one!
My son seems to love it, I suppose there is plenty to do for young people. The usual university town atmosphere of night clubs, bars, fast food places and hangouts.
My reason for wanting to spend some time there is to find out why he loves it there. Exactly the same reason as to why he doesn’t want me there for more than a few hours!
I hope people will say that I am a genuine person, someone who keeps her word and stands by it. The traits of a genuine person are empathy, integrity, consistency, honesty and kindness.
I tend to stick to those markers or at least I try to. So I hope that people will see all those qualities in me and appreciate them as well. You don’t always get as good as you give because there are those out there who march to a different drumbeat and those things I just mentioned are seen as belonging to a pushover. I try to see through people for what they are but sometimes it is hard and I wind up getting hurt.
These days, I do speak up for myself and “genuineness” only goes so far and then I put a stop to it. It is working out to my benefit and I like the new me. However, going back to the DP, I hope that they will say that she was one of a kind, a truly nice and genuine person. One can only hope!
“Genuine people don’t come around too often. If you find somebody real enough to stay true, keep them close.” Unknown
It’s hard to describe the feeling. I never expected to be a parent so when it happened and I held him in my arms for the first time, the world stopped for just a second. He was tiny, wrinkled, and he had his eyes closed. I could see that his dad was taken with him, I saw the pride in his face as he held him for the first time.
It was my turn next and I got to hold him. The pain of the last 8 hours or so of labor flew out the window. I had a baby and I was a mom. Ok, he wasn’t the prettiest baby but I guess they never are when they first come into the world. I had a tough labor and the doctor who attended to me had ruptured something in the spinal area while giving me an epidural. It would turn out to be a major problem but all that was forgotten when I first laid eyes on him. He would change my life in a big way.
I made a promise there and then that I would be the best mom possible. The little guy was sleeping peacefully but I was roaring like a lion inside. There was something that rose up within me that day. I can’t put my finger on it but I knew that I was responsible for him. I also felt the kind of love that is hard to describe. The little being I had carried inside me, the one who had kicked to let me know of his existence was finally here and my world as I knew it was being turned on its head!
I held him close, cooed to him, whispered gibberish, kissed his closed eyes, and knew that this was love of a different kind. Being a parent for the first time was a euphoric experience and even though there were other moments that gave me a “high” nothing would beat that first moment when I held him to my heart and heard him breathing softly, at peace with the world.
Photo by Jessica Lewis 🦋 thepaintedsquare on Pexels.com
My first performance on stage was in church. I don’t recall what role I played but it was a Christmas play and it was the first time that I had to step on stage and had to do my thing. Mom and dad were so proud of their little girl but I was scared out of my wits and knew I couldn’t do it or rather I told myself that I couldn’t. The church was jam-packed as I stepped on stage. I stood there frozen as my eyes swept the scene before me. All eyes were trained on me and the cue was given to start but I stood there and stared back at the people! I could see the children giggling but it was a lost cause. No amount of cajoling helped and I walked off stage feeling like a total failure.
Little did I know that being in the public eye would follow me throughout my life. It’s just like life. The more you don’t want to, the more you get your face rubbed in it! Years later, I would step up to the podium to give a speech. I froze each time I had to do it but it got better as time went on. The “freeze tactic” was just temporary. The minute I stood there and opened my mouth, I was able to perform like a pro. It took practice but it is not my favorite thing to do. I’m still an introvert deep within but the outside show of confidence masks that fact.
I’m glad I no longer have to do any of that. Oh God, did I speak too soon?!! If life is listening, let it go in one ear and out the other!
Daily writing prompt
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
It seems like I’ve done this DP before, just feels familiar. Anyway, walking is one of my top favorites. It takes very little effort and the benefits are plenty. Fresh air is one of them, clearing my mind of unwanted thoughts is another, and ideas galore is yet another! It’s where my creative juices start flowing. Not all the time but more often than not.
I love working out and that is no secret. People who know me tell me to take it easy. They say I overdo it. However, I move to my own drumbeat when it comes to working out. I am careful BUT sometimes I do overdo it. A little twinge here and there tells me that I’ve done more than I should and then I back off for a couple of days and come back with a vengeance.
Cardio, weight training, Pilates, fusion workouts, yoga and anything that is new out there, I am willing to give it a try. I was into kick boxing but these days I watch it from a distance and nothing more! I injured myself doing the “kicks” and it took months to heal so I admire the people who can do it but for me, it is a thing of the past. Sometimes you have to learn to let go even if you don’t want to.
Those are some of my favorite forms of activities that I do to keep myself fit and in form. I find that physical activity is not something I do to please someone else, it is something I do for myself. It helps to keep my body toned and fit but my mind benefits as well.
“Exercise not only changes your body, it changes your mind, your attitude and your mood.” Unknown
Daily writing prompt
What are your favorite physical activities or exercises?
“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” Marcus Garvey
I have a hard time with “confidence” because I was an introvert during my earlier years and so when I see someone walk with their head held high, a confident smile plastered on their face and with an attitude that says, “I don’t give a flying flip what you think of me,” I feel the sparks of admiration in motion.
It takes practice to pull off the confidence act. I learned it the hard way. I went from sitting at the back of the classroom so that I won’t get the attention to someone who could walk up to a podium and deliver a message with “confidence” oozing from every pore! It was an act I put on but the more I did it, the more confident I became. These days it is a breeze.
So when I see someone walking into a room like they own it, it sparks my admiration because I know it is not an easy thing to do. The other thing is that confidence makes you stand out from the crowd. You don’t have to be the best-looking person, although, it helps but if you can come across as if, “God sent you!” it makes all the difference.
Daily writing prompt
What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
I haven’t watched cartoons in ages so I can’t think of any that I absolutely loved. I recall the “Smurfs” only because my son was into it. It is about “a village of small, blue, elf-like creatures living happily in mushroom houses in an enchanted forest, led by Papa Smurf, who constantly battle the evil, inept wizard Gargamel and his cat Azrael, who want to capture or eat them.”
I didn’t pay much attention to it but I was there to keep him company! That’s all I can remember and the whole Smurf village is still upstairs nicely packed away for his future kids he says. Not any time soon, I hope!
I wish I could stop the overthinking before I decide to do something. It has always been a problem and it stops me from achieving what I want to do. Overthinking brings about uncertainty, fear, and headaches!
Why do I overthink? I don’t know. It just happens and it seems that it is the first line of defense against something that is new. I take the new problem, I call it a problem, and take out the magnifying glass. I come in from all angles, I stay there for a while, and then I come up with, “I don’t think I want to do this!” If that’s not enough, I come up with a hundred different reasons as to why it would be a bad idea.
I wish I could be more spontaneous but the problem is you can’t change something that easily once it has been part and parcel of your lifestyle. Overthinking has kept me from danger, it has protected me from jumping in with both feet before I’ve had a chance to take stock of what I’m doing and it has been a “friend” in some ways. However, it has also worked towards my detriment.
What to do? I could use a little more spontaneity and less of overthinking. That would be a happy medium. Still working on it, so let’s see how it turns out.
This past year has seen both good and bad events. I will talk about the good events. One of them was the publication of my book, The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie. It took forever to get it published and the waiting time was filled with frustration but there was a euphoric high when it was finally out there. Seeing it in print was a feeling I can’t really describe. Happiness was one thing, my writing being out there was another, and a certain nervousness as to what happens next followed.
I think every writer goes through those emotions. Will it make it was the other question? Will it be liked? Will it bomb? You get the drift. However, the first reviews were positive. Then more started coming in. They were mostly positive and then, it hit. I call it a bad review because it brought me back to earth with a loud thud! I was angry, sad, confused, and a whole host of other emotions I can’t even begin to describe. I decided to climb out of the hole, of my own making, and to take it in stride. Then followed more reviews and when the teachers, parents, and educators decided to join in and called it, “a classic in the making,” I was back up again.
If you’re a new author, here’s the thing. It seems that all 5-star ratings are not always a good thing, especially if you have a lot of reviews, according to you know who. Having a mix is a better way to go. I don’t know if that is true but the book is doing fine and I’m still waiting for that movie director to pick it up and say, “Here’s a hit movie in the making!” Hasn’t happened yet but fingers crossed!
The other thing that I’m still working on is to get “me” in a better place. Dating the wrong guys, putting up with false friendships, and learning to go it alone until I know what I really want and will tolerate in my life is taking some time. It is a work in progress. There has been ups and downs, falling flat on my face, picking myself back up again and thinking it is an impossible task to do. However, I am finding that I’ve made headway. The “wrong guys” have been sent packing, I’ve said goodbye to fake friendships and I am seeing a new person emerge out of the fog so to speak. She is much stronger, knows her self-worth and is ready to tackle whatever life throws her way. It doesn’t mean that I’ve made it. It just means that I’m willing to accept the challenge and to see what is out there as I make my way up the mountain top.
Will next year bring something better? I don’t know but positivity brings positivity as they say. One can only hope!
Daily writing prompt
What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?
No, not really except for in documentaries. I call Chachi, the cat, the Lion King but that doesn’t mean anything. He just looks like one, a smaller version of Mufasa but with an attitude!
Other than that, I see deer all the time as I go walking in nature. They seem pretty tame or at least they seem to be from a distance. Once, one dashed out from the woodline just a short distance away and took off to the open fields. No harm done but it did shock me. I’ve heard that we have wild boar in the forest but I’ve never seen them. Also, there are wild dogs. It seems they attacked a deer brutally and left it to die in the forest. A warning sign was posted everywhere after that but I’ve never seen any of them, but when I pass a patch of woods, I listen carefully just in case they are lying in wait but so far nothing. I did see a huge red fox streaking across the fields once heading somewhere in haste. Perhaps, it was late for a date!
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