Breaking Bad

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I love watching shows especially ones with several seasons attached to them. I’ve watched all there is to watch, so much so that I’ve forgotten the endings!

Army Wives was a favorite. Revenge was another but my all time favorite was Breaking Bad. I didn’t think I would like it at first but I got caught up in it and waited for each new season to show up and I was there when it did. It never failed to bore him and that is saying something. Most series fizzle out after the 2nd season but this one kept my interest.

One source called it a perfect ending because “it provided definitive consequences for Walter White’s greed while successfully completing his character arc.” There were no loose ends to be tied up, it was all there at the ending. Throughout the five seasons, Walter White claimed or rather justified his criminal behavior with the excuse that he was doing everything he did for his family. However, the truth comes to light at the end. He says, “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it.” That gave the series the closure it needed.

The dynamics between Walter White and Jesse Pinkman is the heartbeat of the show. However, in the end White sacrifices himself to save Jesse. In the final season, Walt dies where the story began, in a meth lab, and he gets what he deserves. His family is destroyed, he is ruined and he dies as a hunted criminal.

A perfect ending for a not so nice guy. Unlike other series endings where you’re kept wondering what is coming next, what didn’t happen, and why it ended the way it did, this one had full closure.

RUMI

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I would choose to have dinner with the 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, and Sufi mystic. Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi is a phenomenon and his poems have sold millions of copies making him a legendary figure.

I’ve posted many of his quotes here and I absolutely love his work. It would be interesting to sit down to dinner with him and to pick his brain on how he came about writing some of the most beautiful and thought-provoking poems of his time.

He died on December 17, 1273 so having dinner with him would be impossible but if I had a wish I would try to make it come true. His “profound verses on love, self-discovery, and spiritual awakening,” still continue to inspire us today.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Feeling inspired? I know I am. It would be a great honor to have dinner with a man who had spent a lot of time contemplating about life. Perhaps, a good way to gain wisdom and to forge a pathway forwards.

Daily writing prompt
If you could have dinner with any philosopher, who would it be?

Fear and Self-Doubt

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These two go together where I’m concerned. You don’t see the one without the other. Fear has been my constant companion although these days, I’m less fearful than I used to be. Gone are the days when a “whisper” made me fearful! These days, I handle things on my own. Problems may seem big in the beginning but I’m willing to take a step back, look at it with less of a critical eye, and I make my way forward, taking it slowly and knowing that this too is just a glitch in the matrix of life, my life.

Self-doubt arises from the feeling that I’m “NOT ENOUGH!” I’ve always been critical of myself more so than others. It didn’t matter if I get told a hundred times that I’m enough as I am, self-doubt still rushes in and takes the upper hand. However, this putting myself down every chance I get is getting to be a part of the past as well. These days I look at myself in the mirror squarely and I know that I’m fully capable of handling whatever comes my way.

Last week proved that point. I had more than my share of problems where the house is concerned. There was a short-circuit in the kitchen which almost caused a fire. If that wasn’t enough, there was a leak in the garden shed that needed fixing. The kitchen problem will be taken care of in a short time and the garden shed got fixed on Saturday. One guy came by and wanted more than a 1,000 euros to fix the roof. An exorbitant amount for an old shed so I sent him on his way. Another guy offered to do it for 350 and I took him up on it. A really nice guy who did the job superbly and took away the old wood and stuff! The man who wanted more offered to finish the job in three days whereas the “nice” guy did it in one day! I gave him an extra 50 for doing such a fine job and he offered to come by this week and fix the door to the shed at no extra cost!

We are all capable beings. It is the fear and self-doubt that tell us different. The next time these two walk in, take a deep breath, look at them carefully, and put them in their place where they belong!

When Time Stood Still

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Is it really happening? It was a question that made me question reality. The time I found out that my husband was cheating on me was the time I was faced with reality but I couldn’t grasp it for what it was.

I remember coming up with excuses for him! The sweet person I had met at the university and later married had been my perfect guy. He was kind, gentle, humble, and everything I had wanted in a lifetime partner. More than that, we were best friends.

When I found out that he had been cheating and that it wasn’t just a one-night stand but an affair that had been going on for six months, it tore my world apart. I just couldn’t grasp the fact that he was capable of such a thing. He was a nerd to begin with, the nutty professor type. Very intelligent and physics was his thing. Besides that, the guy who emerged when we met and started dating was a kind and gentle soul.

The guy who later emerged many years later, was someone who made me question reality. Years later and when circumstances had changed meaning he was no longer the nerdy guy or maybe he still was but the “money” he was earning made him very attractive to the women who were willing to do anything for him. This included breaking up a marriage. It was a no holds barred kind of thing.

You’ve heard the saying, “money corrupts.” Well, it took a kind and sweet person and turned him into an arrogant and total SOB! I no longer recognized him and even though I questioned my reality at the time, it was time to let him go.

I did.

Daily writing prompt
What’s a moment that made you question reality?

Cast Away

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I didn’t expect to like this movie starring Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt. At first glance, it was just another survival movie. A plane crashes and the survivor, Tom Hanks, has to learn to go it alone. Boring!

I watched expecting it to go the same way. He would have a hard time, and then would be rescued at some point in time. However, it took me by surprise as the movie progressed. He, Tom Hanks, goes through a physical and emotional transformation and it kept me captivated. I’ve watched this movie twice and I still LIKE it.

“I couldn’t even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that’s when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow, I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that’s what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I’m back in Memphis, talking to you.”

It was about survival but more so than that, it was also about not giving up. The rescue took four years and he survived 1,500 days on the deserted island before managing to escape on a man-made raft. The unopened package with angel wings saved his life. It gave him hope and it kept him going. Delivering the package gives him closure at the end and he is able to move on with his life.

I didn’t think I would like the movie but it proved me wrong. I walked away thinking that “never giving up” no matter how dire the circumstances speaks to all of us. It is a matter of survival.

The Meaning of Life?

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I’m still looking for the meaning of life. What is it? What does it mean? Is it important? These are some of the questions that I go through when contemplating the oft asked question, “What is the meaning of life?”

Once a wise man was asked what is the meaning of life? He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create a meaning.”

What do you think? Some truth to that assumption? I think life is what you make of it. You take what is handed to you, the good, the bad, the ugly, and make the best of it. It is not easy, it never is, but a certain mindset is needed to come out smelling like a rose after waddling in the mud with pigs!

The definition of life is up to you. It embraces your personal experiences and the values you hold dear to you. However, it also arises from the choices and values you choose to embrace. Perhaps, the most important concept is that your life matters and it has meaning so you move forward, learning as you go. Maybe, at some point you will learn the real meaning of life but then again maybe not!

So is life.

Daily writing prompt
What is the meaning of life?

It Is What It Is

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This one gets my goat! When someone says this to you when you are trying to explain a problem to them and you hear this very dismissive phrase, it means either they are not interested or just couldn’t give a flying flip about your problem.

There are many words or phrases that irritate or annoy me but the aforementioned takes the cake as far as I’m concerned. My retort to this phrase is, “What do you mean by it is?!!” Nothing is as it seems and instead of being dismissive, it would be nice to have someone who gives you their undivided attention when faced with a problematic situation.

IT IS WHAT IT IS. The phrase is simply irritating not to mention annoying because someone, whoever it is, doesn’t want to engage, to show empathy, couldn’t care less, and they are telling you in a few words, accept it for what it is. There is nothing you can do about the situation. Throw in the towel and move on but in a more subtle way!

This is my pick for a phrase that annoys me. The other one is, “with all due respect.” You know what is coming after this one. Wait for the insult that usually follows or for some unsolicited advice! This one bothers me as well. There are lots more but I’m TRYING to be in a good mood today. Why? Don’t ask.

I’ve been spending time in the garden sniffing the roses, picking and setting them out to dry to make homemade potpourri. The garden is full of blooming roses right now and it’s a perfect time to shut out the negative thoughts and to drown in the glorious scents of vanilla and musk.

So irritating phrases BE GONE! I’ve got better things to do.

Daily writing prompt
What’s a word or phrase that annoys you?

The Perfect Road Trip?

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Hmm…I don’t do road trips anymore. Family road trips happened a long time ago when I was a young girl but later with my son, we flew to different destinations so there was not much planning for the trip except booking the flight and the hotels we stayed at.

Ok, since you asked I’ll give it a try. If I had to plan the perfect road trip, I would make sure that we would have a first-aid kit. It would be the first thing I would get ready. It would contain all the necessary items we would need in case of small accidents. Don’t ask me which kind, I’m just saying for unforeseen circumstances. I would also pack a small bag with water, a change of clothes, toilet paper and such.

Next, I would take the car to the service center and have it checked out. Tire pressure would be one thing, water the other, and whatever else the mechanic thinks is necessary for a trip. The air-conditioning needs to be working, in fact it’s a must in summer.

What else? I DON’T KNOW! It doesn’t matter, I’m not going on a road trip any time soon and my perfect “trip” would be tripping at home with all the amenities close by!

There you have it. Next question please….

Daily writing prompt
How do you plan the perfect road trip?

Falling Down!

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It wasn’t about taking a physical fall, it was more of an emotional one. I fell and I fell hard. It wasn’t just about a moment but two events in life showed me just how strong I was. One was the breakup of a marriage that had lasted many years and I had thought would last forever. I was in it for life but, unfortunately, he wasn’t.

The fall was a hard one, much harder than I expected. I was left gasping for air and thought I would never get back up again. I suffered several blows, all emotional ones. My trust in another human being was gone, one who had vowed to love and protect me. I couldn’t look at him the same way and there was no going back to what was or had been. We were on separate paths but we had a son who needed us and didn’t understand why mommy and daddy were going separate ways.

It took a long time but going within to where my strength resides helped me to forge a way forward. I had to keep going and that little boy I had brought into the world needed me more than ever before. Then I met the “angel” who came to rescue me from my misery. I viewed him with cautious eyes at first because I had placed a lock and key around my broken heart. He didn’t care, he told me he was in it for the long run. It took a long time but I started to believe in myself again and to see myself as being worthy, worthy of love and respect.

He left after a few years. His job on earth was done and I was left alone again, only this time, I knew that no matter what I was STRONG, stronger than I had been. I was no longer looking at life through rose-colored glasses but with clarity. I knew what I wanted and I started working towards that goal. It didn’t mean that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes again because I am drawn to the bad boy types. However, when it did happen again, this time around I took it as another lesson learned and looked for the patterns that had led me down the same road.

I am learning that whenever something bad happens, it is not the end of the world. It is a new beginning to learn, to pick yourself back up, to wipe the tears away, and to move forward knowing that you have what it takes to succeed the next time around. I’m not saying it is going to be easy, it never is, but it is doable because YOU are stronger than you think and much more capable of overcoming whatever life throws your way.

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE!

Daily writing prompt
What’s a moment that made you realize you were stronger than you thought?

Walking

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This is a simple question to answer but lately it hasn’t been that easy. I would have said walking in nature brings me great joy but I’ve been taking a break from being out in nature because I have lots of other things going on right now.

Having a house means things can break when you least expect it and there is a saying that goes like this. When it rains, it pours! Exactly what is happening. The latest project or rather mishap is an electrical problem. I had a small fire in the kitchen and luckily I was home when it happened. I pulled the plug out of the socket and called an electrician. It takes a long time here before someone can show up. It could have been a short circuit according to Google! I would rather have a professional look at it and tell me everything is alright.

However, I did make it out to the fields today and it was gorgeous. The grass was knee-high and a bright striking emerald green. We’ve been having rain for the last few days and rain is in the forecast for today as well. Dark clouds were rolling in and the wind was picking up speed. I put in my walk, tanked up some energy, and got a smile back on my face as I walked home.

There are many simple pleasures that bring me joy. Walking is definitely one of them and Chachi, the little Macho, is the other. He is my sweetheart and just watching him as he goes about his day brings joy into my life.

Daily writing prompt
What’s a simple pleasure in life that brings you joy?