integrity

“You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” Nina Simone

This quote brought a smile to my face. How often have we done exactly that? How often have we held on when it was absolutely clear that no amount of cajoling or talking someone into whatever it is you want from them was ever going to change the situation. If that someone does not love you or has stopped loving you, MOVE ON! Learn to leave with your dignity intact.

Easier said than done right? When I found out that my husband of 17 years had been cheating on me something broke within me. I can’t explain it. I became numb. After it wore off, I went into the, “I’ve got to save this marriage mode.” The truth was there was no saving what was never there. When he chose to cheat, he broke the sacred bond between us, broke the trust into a millions pieces, disrespected me and declared our love to be a non-entity. How do you save something that was broken beyond repair? Still I sat at that table. I refused to leave thinking we could go back to a semblance of what was. I cried, I begged and even made a fool of myself but chasing him after he had done wrong only gave him more power over me. He didn’t see his wife or the broken woman before him, he saw someone he could manipulate and decided that he could have his cake and eat it too. When that didn’t work, he walked chasing greener pastures so to speak. Unfortunately or fortunately, cheating never pays and soon that “green pasture” turned into a desert and it was over before he could say, “Hello!”

Commitment is a tricky thing. Sometimes we look for it in all the wrong places. We latch on and even if all the signs tell us to tread lightly we rush in refusing to budge thinking that if we just waited long enough, something will give and sitting at the table of “no love” will turn into something glorious. The truth of the matter is as Matthew Hussey put it so succinctly,

“You shouldn’t try to sell a car to someone who’s in the market for a bike.”

I am learning that I’m NOT looking for the guy who wants to buy the bike, he can have it for all I care. I don’t think I’m even trying to sell a car. These days, I know that I don’t have to sell anything. I am good enough as I am, no selling required!

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” Roy T. Bennett

Have an amazing day.

Integrity, a word that is supposed to be the mainstay of any relationship but these days it is sorely lacking in our society and your ‘word’ is no longer what it used to be. Ethical behavior and principles have been disregarded for individual gain and self-serving self-interests. This lack is eroding all that we stand for including honesty and loyalty. The current downward trend and erosion of something valuable has far-reaching consequences because moral compass is a thing of the past for some and “your word is your bond” is a non-entity as far as others are concerned.

What is integrity?

It is defined as, “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” In other words, say what you mean, and do what you say.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” C. S. Lewis

“Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back.” Unknown

“Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment.” Unknown

“Wisdom is knowing which road is the right one: Integrity is taking it.” Unknown

“When wealth is lost nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” Unknown

“If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.” Chinese Proverb

“You learn a lot about someone by what they choose to do when no one is watching.” Shane Parrish

“People with good intentions make promises but people with good character keep them.” Unknown

A lie is a lie.

A white lie is a lie.

A half truth is a lie.

A hidden truth is a lie.

A lie by omission is a lie.

A lie is a lie.

PERIOD!

You are not born with integrity, it is a learned behavior. It is knowing or getting into the habit of doing the right thing even when it is HARD and inconvenient at times but it is necessary because it gives people the moral and ethical clarity they need to do the right thing at the right time and a person of integrity stands by their word and is considered to be someone you can trust. That says it all.

Have an amazing day.

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