Tag: life

When Life Was Simple

A Series on Getting Back on Track

“Things to Remember”

Eat regularly (and well)

Get enough sleep

Sometimes being a bitch is necessary

Stop talking and listen

Don’t take anyone’s shit

Things WILL get better

If someone can’t make the effort to be in your life – they don’t deserve to be there.

It only ends once, everything else is just progress.

A good cup of tea can solve just about anything.

Stick to your guns.

Impromptu solo dance parties are good for your health.

Spend time with the people who matter the most.

I remember a time when life was simple. Having my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground was a daily and joyous norm for me. Twirling on my toes, watching clouds go by on my back and chasing rainbows and dreams was what life was about way back when I was young and life was simple.

Splashing in duck puddles on a rainy day with only the ducks for company was absolute heaven. Covered in mud from head to toe and looking like a gypsy was a badge I wore with pride. Talking to unseen beings who only existed in my mind didn’t matter because it made life simple.

Chasing rainbow colored fish in a dirty stream made it the absolute highlight of my day and when I had a few wriggling in my hands with the sunlight reflecting off their multi-hued bodies made it even more so. Boys….hmm….boys were of no importance except as buddies. They did not have the power to touch my heart but that was way back when things were simple and I had wings.

Dancing in the rain, jumping over puddles of water and squealing with laughter meant I was one with nature. Anger, hurt and pain were unknown in a life where nothing mattered except for the magic I created within myself. Joy was an everyday occurrence but it became a thing of the past. It was way back when things were simple. I am a grown-up now.

Adulthood is defined as or means that, “they are an adult or that they behave in a responsible way.”

Someone asked me not too long ago why I couldn’t behave the same way. The answer is simple. Grown-ups or adults behave in a specific way. Propriety demands that I “conform to what is socially acceptable in conduct or speech.”

Going back to the quote I started out with, I will choose a few I can live with.

“Sometimes being a bitch is necessary.” This is an alien concept to me as being a “bitch” is way beyond my grasp of being a good person. Lately, I am learning that it is a necessary step to where I want to get to in my journey of life. A bitch is applied to a woman and defined as “someone, who is belligerent, unreasonable, malicious, controlling, aggressive or dominant.” Perhaps I need to apply this concept on my way to arriving at my end goal. Life is not that simple anymore.

“If someone can’t make the effort to be in your life – they don’t deserve to be there.” This is a hard one. Where once “men” were of no consequence, growing up means learning to deal with this species. If you thought women were difficult to comprehend, try dealing with this group! The end point is, if they can’t be bothered to be in your life and every effort is just lukewarm or worse cold then it is time to put your “bitch” shoes on and move on. Life is too short and neither is it just in black and white. It is complicated enough as it is and perhaps we make it more complicated. It boils down to, if you can’t make an effort, it is time for you to go.

Last but not least, “Spend time with people who matter most.” These are people who show up when times are tough. The ones who are not just “fair weather friends” but who are there without being asked. Get rid of the liars, the ones who have lying built into their DNA, this is a necessary step in making your life simple again. Liars are not worthy of your time and space because they say one thing and behave as if you don’t matter.  Walk and don’t look back!

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” Hans Hofmann

Looks easy enough doesn’t it but believe me it is not. You can get back to the basics. You can still dance in the rain, imagine yourself splashing in puddles and envision yourself in a much simpler time and place. Truth is it takes imagination, hard work, determination and courage to get back to that place of simplicity. Complicated is just in your mind.

Aging Gracefully

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor E. Frankl

I hate getting old, that is the mantra that runs through my mind nowadays. I never gave the aging process much thought but recently it is there and refuses to leave centerstage. I am not at that stage yet where my bones creak or turning or moving a certain way tells me that I need to be gentle with myself. I do know, however, that time is moving faster than I want it to and that my friends makes me want to challenge the situation. 

I have had this love affair with keeping fit. It started when I was 18 and it has kept up with me to the present. Breathing in the fresh air as I do a fast paced walk with only the forest and mountains for company is my definition of a good time. Nothing invigorates like a trek in the outdoors. Time is not of an essence here, it is relegated to where it belongs, just out of reach until I give it permission to return again or the next time I take a look in the mirror and I see that the reflection staring back at me is no longer the person I used to know. I say to myself, “I was beautiful once, who is this stranger staring back at me? I vaguely remember her.” Yet I know that I am my worst critic. My hair is still long, dark and silky, my skin unlined but that one tiny crease on my forehead seems to scream, “Watch out, more is on the way!” Time changes things and aging does the rest but if you put enough effort into stopping Father Time, maybe just maybe this inevitable journey will take a breather and give you enough of a respite from what aging does to a person.

Cindy McDonal once said, “Aging is not an option, not for anyone. It is how gracefully we handle the process and how lucky we are, as the process handles us.”

Perhaps there is some truth to that but does luck have anything to do with it? How about this quote, Eleanor Roosevelt’s wondrous interpretation of aging, “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” Hmm….this one makes me want to jump up and yell Hallelujah! Finally someone who understands what it is all about but really….works of art? Really? Whatever aging is, it is a preoccupation with the inevitable. You can stave off the wrinkles with potions and creams that promise much but deliver little as “age” marches on with a smug smile on its face. Going down south is a journey that can’t be stopped because sooner or later we are all faced with it whether we want to or not. So what’s left? 

I choose to wake up with a beautiful smile on my face, stretch and take a couple of deep breaths to oxygenate those oxygen deprived cells, put on my sports shoes and get out there to walk, march or jog to get my tired and sometimes lethargic muscles moving. Later I follow up with half an hour of weight training and then meditate for all I’m worth! There is something about stopping the incessant chatter and clutter of your mind by staring into the dark abyss between your brows. It does stop time for a little while. Permanency is persona non grata here. It is as fleeting as a butterfly and after all is said and done, you’ll still have to ward off the signs as gracefully as you can and that is a conundrum in itself.

Perhaps this quote makes it just a tad easier to bear.

“Wrinkles mean you laughed, grey hair means you cared, and scars mean you lived!”

Prolific but if that doesn’t work, try this one on for size.

“Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it…”

It has been said that “time stops for no man” and neither does it for a woman. The marching of time with booted feet will drone on as it leaves its signs of aging behind but like with everything else in life, it’s how you choose to approach it that counts. The light within, that little spark of light that flickers with uncertaintly over the daunting task of accepting this next phase in life will seem too delicate to take on the inevitable at first. The slowing down of a body that no longer has the power of a spring chicken to jump, dance and twirl with no regard for the emphasis it places on the hardening muscles will be a thing of the past. Slowing down will become your key word and for some of us, the challenge will be in how to sparkle with renewed vitality, how to make the wrinkles less important, the laugh lines a little less visible and the going down south syndrome more bearable. In the end and according to the Viktor Frankl quote in the beginning, when you can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Perhaps therein lies the whole crux of the matter.