If you’ve read my posts, I always end with, “Have an amazing day.” I truly mean that sentiment but a friend recently echoed it by saying, I’ll end this conversation with what you always say, “Have an amazing day.” It felt good to hear it from someone else’s lips and it sent joy gushing through my body. However, it also started my thought processes going. No surprise there, I am an overthinker!
What does it mean to have an amazing day? It’s a day free of worries, a day free of something weighing you down like an albatross around your neck, a day filled with sunshine and smiles but most of all I think it is a day where everything is possible and nothing is impossible.
I usually wake up wanting an amazing day in front of me but it doesn’t always work that way. Life steps in and sometimes things go downhill but that is alright too.
“You’re only human. You don’t have to have it together every minute of every day.” Anne Hathaway
I woke up this morning looking forward to a brand new day. A blank slate was staring me in the face and I could write whatever I wanted to on it. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and Chachi, the cat, was purring softly in my ear. I AM GRATEFUL for all that makes up my life, the good, the bad and the ugly. Life is not always just about the good stuff. It would be boring if it was. It is a kaleidoscope of possibilities, new beginnings, letting go of things that have outlived their purpose and of embracing what is to come and the unknown is a part of that equation.
Today will be an “amazing day” and I wish you the same.
“Just in case…..no one has told you today. YOU are amazing! Have a really great day.” Unknown
My idea of paradise is open spaces, blue skies, mountains, forests and streams running through the whole shebang! It is beautiful, calming and at the same time mesmerizing.
Today is no different except spring is in the air and there is sunshine everywhere. It’s a great day for a walk and to let the imagination run wild. There is a herd of deer standing still at the top of the hill enjoying the warmth as I’m doing. I watch them and they watch me in return. A shrill squawk attracts my attention and looking skywards, I see a heron in flight. It is majestic as it glides effortlessly through time and space. Two more herons join the symphony in motion and the dance is graceful as they dip and take off again, weightless against an azure blue sky.
A movement down below attracts my attention and two rabbits take off into the bushes and disappear from sight. There is a different energy out here today. Nature is breathing life back into the fields and everything is waking up after a long winter’s sleep, energized and ready to go. The air is crisp but still a little cold. It is exhilariting.
The only problem, there are more people out and about and where once I was the only one paying homage to paradise, it is no longer mine alone. It too is a sign that spring is marching in and staying indoors is for the birds when you have “paradise” just a stone’s throw away!
Yesterday started out normal enough. I woke up early and it was still dark outside. The rooftops were glistening white so it much have been a cold night. Nothing unusual because the day warms up as it goes along. Just an inkling of things to come. Spring is on the way but it is taking its time.
My morning was going to be full with errands to run and one important appointment to take care off. It was definitely going to be hectic but I had my afternoon free and the “fields” were waiting for my visit. It will be a beautiful day to go walking and to see what it had in store for me.
After breakfast and a shower later, I had to pick an outfit to wear. The errands are easy enough to do in jeans or in sweats but not for the important meeting. Dressed nicely for a change, I pulled my long hair into a chignon and held it in place with a clip and I was ready to go.
The sun was making a showing by now and a promise of a beautiful day was right in front of me. Feeling happy for a change I headed into town. I got the errands done in record time and then it was time to make it to his office. The secretary got up to show me to his office but he walked into the reception area, greeted me with a smile and led me to the inner sanctum. It was what he said next that threw me for a loop!
HIM: “I swear I’ve seen you before.”
ME: “Where?”
HIM: “I don’t know but I’ve seen you,” with a puzzled look on his face.
I decided to be flippant.
ME: I’m sure you saw me with my hair down?”
HIM: Maybe, but I’ve seen you before.”
The meeting started and five minutes in, he said again:
HIM: “I don’t know why but I feel like I know you. We know each other.”
Wow! I know I’ve never met him before. Was this a pick-up line of the weird kind? I’ve had weird before. I met this guy at the university way back when and during our first meeting he said, “We were husband and wife in a past life!” So this here was tame compared to the past life variety. Anyway, after the meeting I stood up and he came around the table, took my hand in his and said:
“It was nice meeting you but I swear I know you.”
His hand felt warmer than usual or was that just my imagination?!!
It was strange to say the least and I walked out of there wondering what just took place. Was destiny working its magic again or was it something else altogether. I will be bringing him some papers on Thursday and we’ll see how it goes. What’s that saying? Life happens when you’re not looking.
An ordinary day turned into a not so ordinary one.
Failure has many facets but when it happens as it inevitably does, it is not seen as the stepping stone to success at a later point in time. In my case, I see it as the unwanted monster that has come to throw hot water or as a form of destruction on my path to success.
Rarely do I accept it for what it is, just a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. It too is part and parcel of our daily existence and a learning curve that needs to be mastered. There has been many instances where I met “failure” in one form or another and I crumbled at first. However, it did set me up for future successes.
I told my son yesterday that if he doesn’t get the job, it is not the end of the world. He is learning to fly on his own and landing the job of his dreams or just a job is at the center of his world right now. The guy is doing fine but learning to accept failure or rather that rejections are part of the job seeking process is another thing altogether for someone who is just venturing out into the job market. I know he will master that process as well as he has done with all the other things that has come his way and will come his way in the future.
Failure as I see it these days, after having fallen flat on my face many times over, is not the monster it seems to be. It has taught me to be resilient, to find other ways of achieving what I want to do and it has made me stronger in a lot of ways. Most of all, I no longer fall on my knees when it visits. I take a step back, look at the options and move on from there. Easier said than done I know.
Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia
Kindness or being kind is no longer as important as it used to be. We live in a self-obsessed world and when once we used to have close interactions with people, it is now being replaced with chats, text messages or quick hellos and goodbyes. The emoji is front and center when it comes to showing you care and there is one for every emotion you can think of including sadness. We’ve become so impersonal that closeness is a thing of the past and showing emotions much less so. We live in a fast paced world where technology is king and people a commodity like anything else.
Yet, we haven’t changed much or have we? I think we have. People have become much more self-centered and ‘me’ first is often the case. If you hurt someone these days you send an emoji to say you’re sorry. It could be in the form of a one tear- drop emoji or just a kiss emoji and you’ve done your ‘compassion’ and ‘kindness’ part. However, this makes it hard to have a human connection when you come across as a robot. The more we rely on technology to do the human stuff, the less your heart interacts and hardens to a point. Kindness is a very human trait and it can’t be replaced by emojis no matter how cute they are. It is just a stop-gap measure. The warmth of kindness comes from within, deep within your soul and emojis and other futuristic entities masquerading as the real thing can never take the place of human emotions no matter how advanced technology gets and that’s the truth.
Case in point: I was sad the other day and I shared that with a friend. Immediately he sent a kiss emoji and the word ‘sorry.’ That was it, he had done his job on being human or so he thought but I was left feeling like it could have been a little more, how about the human touch, it was sorely missing. A conversation would have been nice or even checking to see if I was ok from time to time but looking at it from his standpoint he had shown his compassion with an emoji and besides anything else would have taken too much time from his day and he had more important things to do.
Helping each other is fast becoming a thing of the past and so are other forms of kindness. We are a ‘me’ society first and foremost and everything else takes a back seat AND we have an app for everything so why even bother with being nice? Do we have an app for kindness as well? I’ll have to check on that because I’ve been showing kindness the old-fashioned way. Smiles, warm hugs, eye contact and a helping hand are still my go-to for kindness and it works just fine from the human angle.
“Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown
How about sharing a smile? It is known as the universal language of kindness after all. When was the last time you smiled at someone? When did you even look up from your phone, tablet or computer to really look at the world around you? It’s becoming a lost art, this human interaction thing and it’s scary.
“It only takes a split second to smile and forget, yet to someone that needed it, it can last a lifetime.” Steve Maraboli
Here’s a call to bringing kindness back. I’m not talking about the “I care but only for a split second,” or “I see your tears but I can’t give you a hug because I’m too busy,” variety. I’m talking about reaching out and showing you really do care. It is going to take a little bit of your time, effort and patience but the rewards are plentiful. That human touch needs to be put front and center again and let’s just use those cute little emojis ONLY when we have no other choice. Start with a warm smile and the rest takes care of itself.
“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” Jackie Chan
Paulo Coelho de Souze is a Brazilian lyricist and novelist. His book, “The Alchemist” was on the New York Times bestseller list for over 40o weeks and he is brilliant at getting across what life is all about and how to deal with it. I’ve posted some of his quotes here before but here are some more to whet the appetite.
“Life has a way of testing a persons will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.”
That’s because “life” is thinking let’s shake things up! It is getting too BORING!
“If you’re brave enough to say ‘GOODBYE’ life will reward you with a new ‘HELLO’.
I’ve been brave many times over and I’m still waiting for the hellos or it could be I say goodbyes more often than the hellos coming in and it has a hard time keeping up!
“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”
I absolutely agree on this one.
“Things do not always happen the way I would have wanted, and it’s best that I get used to it.”
This is a hard one. I want things to happen the way I WANT IT for a change.
“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”
I am learning to leave things in the past BUT the past keeps calling me and I oblige! That is the problem in a nutshell.
“Sometimes you have to travel a long way to find what is near.”
That is human nature. Complicated is what it is about and I can attest to it whole-heartedly.
“And when you can’t go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.”
Small steps forward and you will get to your next destination. I hope it’s a good one.
“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.”
Oh God, I don’t know about this one. If that is what life does, I am sunk!
And finally this:
“When a woman has not had SEX for a long time, She turns…..”
Turns into what?!! Becomes wiser? I can agree with that and a little weird? I can agree with that too. This one left me hanging!
He’s the wrong guy if he does some or all of the things below. There are reasons why he’s the wrong guy so pay attention to your heart and listen to your intuition. It has your best interest at heart. The following quotes clearly speak to the heart of the matter.
“So many girls fall in love with the wrong guy simply because the wrong guy usually says all the right things.” Unknown
“The wrong man will always find reasons to leave. While, the right man will always find enough reasons to stay.” Unknown
“The wrong person makes you beg for attention, affection, love and commitment. The right person gives you these things because they love you.” Unknown
“The right attention from the wrong guy during a lonely time could fool you into thinking he might be the one.” Unknown
Loneliness creates dire circumstances and this is one of them. Finding our way to the wrong guy is made so much easier when loneliness steps in.
“Don’t settle. It’s better to face a little loneliness now than a lifetime of loneliness with the wrong person.” Mandy Hale
“When it’s the wrong person, anything you ask is too much.” Steve Maraboli
“At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.” Unknown
Pay special attention to this one because with the wrong guy, it is never enough. Nothing you do will be enough and he’ll find excuses for why that is so. It is not you, it is him.
“Never let the wrong man waste your time and precious energy.” Unknown
If he’s the right one, he’ll find his way to you. If he’s not, he’ll be gone in a blinding minute. Sit up and take notice before it’s too late. The wrong guy is not your destiny but rather he walks in to teach you a lesson. Love is not made up of moments spent together, IT IS moments treasured together and the wrong guy will just provide lip service with no substance to it and when it comes down to showing he cares, he’s nowhere to be found. The wrong guy will walk at a moment’s notice and will even tell you to leave while the right one will weather the storm and sometimes even walk you through that storm. Wait for that person and do not settle for anything less than love, respect and commitment.
“Ladies, the right man for you will pursue you. Actively. He won’t leave you wondering whether he’s into you or not.” Mandy Hale
AND
If you want to find happiness, stay the hell away from a**holes! This is something I have to drill into my head as well.
It’s Sunday and too early in the morning to go that deep but I’ll give it a try since I just had my first cup of coffee and my mind is raring to go!
I would say “loss.” Many of us go through it and some of us refuse to learn from it. Loss to us is simply that. Losing something precious, losing a relationship for whatever the reason and of course death is the ultimate loss. These three things taught me that life is fragile but more importantly life is about learning because it (life) has lessons planned and learning and moving on is the only way to go. Standing still is not an option, screaming and howling is not an option, although you can try and I have, thumping your nose at it is not going to work either.
More than my marriage breaking up, I think it was death that brought home the fact that nothing lasts forever but I have strength, incredible strength within the kind that is capable of slaying monsters. First I had to accept that the person had moved on and I was left standing to pick up the pieces. It took crying, incredible grief, talking to myself, finding avenues to let that grief out but most of all when all was said and done, I took up the reins of life again and moved forward one step at a time and I am still moving forward although some days are harder than others. Loss teaches us that when one door closes another one opens. If you keep looking at that closed door, there is no moving forward but if you embrace and move through that open door there is a world of opportunities and new possibilities waiting to be discovered. Courage is needed and of course strength to push you through. It is still a learning process for me and I haven’t reached the pinnacle yet but maybe one day I will or maybe life is just that, when you think you’ve mastered a lesson along comes another. If that’s the case, make it a simpler one the next time around PLEASE!
Daily writing prompt
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
I do believe that fate/destiny are intertwined and things or events in life that take place do so because of these two entities if you can call them that. There is a higher force at work here and perhaps everything has already been put in motion according to how it should unfold and your life is not really your own. You are going along with the flow so to speak.
Fate is defined as “a power or agency determining events and destinies, acting beyond our control” and “destiny is responsible for everything. This destiny is predetermined and unchangeable.” If that is the case, it is frightening to say the least. It raises the question what if everything has already been preordained and nothing you do is going to change the outcome of what your destiny is going to be?
One particular event comes to mind. I met my ex at a university dance but I do believe that “fate” had arranged that meeting. After a painful breakup, I had taken a year off to recuperate and dating was on the backburner until that fateful evening. I was persuaded by some well-meaning friends to show up at the dance and I remember digging in my heels and saying no but I did go and there he was this tall, skinny and nerdy-looking individual who was not my type at first glance. Fate had other plans and destiny started the ball rolling that night and we ended up together. Even though we didn’t stay together, I feel the meeting was arranged by a higher force and destiny did the rest to put the chain of events in motion. Why did it happen if “forever” was not in the cards? Who knows, maybe it was some cruel trick played by fate/destiny and there was a lesson to be learned.
I’ll never know but I do believe that fate/destiny do exist and sometimes it works in your favor and sometimes it doesn’t. Yours is not to know the reason why!
“Keep it simple and focus on what matters. Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed.” Confucius
Confucius knows what he is talking about but how many of us take that advice to heart? Our lives are filled with little and big things that we can’t control or overcome, we let drama take hold and it goes downhill from there.
Why can’t we just keep it simple? Perhaps, it’s because as “humans” we have an urge within to add complexity to the matter at hand. We have a need to complicate versus simplify and that right there is the problem. Complexity is the enemy of simplicity and we are masters at taking something simple and blowing it out of proportion so that it becomes one gigantic problem, add drama to it and you’ve got an almost unsolvable problem and it becomes anything but simple.
If you embrace simplicity, your life becomes less stressed and easier to navigate according to the people in the know.
“Simple means that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Let this be your mantra as you navigate the choppy waters of life. A recent Stanford study showed that participants who embraced a ‘simplicity first’ mentality were significantly happier, less stressed, and more likely to achieve their goals.”
What does keeping it simple mean? It means just that, keep things simple even though it is hard. Sounds like a conundrum? It might pretty well be. According to moderntherapy.online, here are some steps to help define what keeping it simple means.
Don’t expect too much.
Expect that things may not always be exactly how we want and try to be genuinely okay with it.
Don’t criticize
It is a lose-lose situation and it spreads negative energy. This leads to negative thinking and acting on it. Say or think something positive instead and move on.
Be Present
Living in the moment makes life simpler. Learn to be okay with your feelings even if they are uncomfortable.
Be Kind
Being kind will not only help to make yourself feel better, but it will allow others to get close to you so you can form positive and meaningful relationships.
Redefine things in your life
Attempt to redefine what is important and what it means to you. Prioritize things that will truly make you happy.
Ask why
Question yourself about why you do the things you do. If there are no meaningful answers then you shouldn’t be doing them. Be clear and ask if there is a clear purpose behind what you are doing.
Focus on yourself
Instead of focusing on everyone around you, bring the focus back to you. Shut down the outside noise and try to focus on the noise within. Life becomes better when you separate yourself from what other people think or their expectations.
Keep it simple. The next time life throws something your way which it inevitably will, instead of pouncing on it and turning it into a huge “WHY?” tone it down to, “It happened. Here’s what I am going to do about it.” Easier said than done? I know but worth a try don’t you think? Simplify and show complexity the door and maybe, just maybe it will stop coming around. Hmm…not holding my breath on this one either!
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