truth – Site Title

Pathological Liars (Archives)

Pathological liars are pros when it comes to lying. It is a way of life for them and these losers are said to have a personality disorder but I think they just enjoy lying and LOVE getting away with it which in turn gives them an adrenaline rush to boot.

Abraham Lincoln said it best:

“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”

My ex fits the mode perfectly. He lied so much that he forgot which one was the truth and which one was the lie! It became one and the same to him. He eventually got tired of keeping up with all his lies and decided it was time to threw up his hands and call it quits. Coming back to the topic at hand, there are 6 signs of a pathological liar. Probably more, but we’ll stick to these six for now.

Pathological liars tend to:

Have a lack of empathy.

Focus on basic needs, such as food and money.

Find pleasure and gratification in lying.

Speak in terms of cause-and-effect instead of emotions.

Be cunning and manipulative.

Lie just for the sake of lying. Science=People

How do you cope with a pathological liar?

Don’t expect them to admit to a lie because they will stick to their lies even when it’s obvious that they are not telling the truth.

Don’t take it personally. It is not about you, it is a mental disorder or so they say.

Don’t think just because they look you in the eye, they are telling the truth. Most often they can stand on their heads and try to convince you that they are telling you the truth.

Don’t lose your temper because it’s not about you losing control, it just makes them much better liars. There’s no winning with these guys.

Do trust yourself and your intuition.

Do pay attention to their actions rather than their words because after all actions do speak louder than words.

Do set boundaries as to what you will tolerate and what you won’t in a relationship not that it matters to these individuals. They are well-versed in the art of lying and somehow getting away with a lie does not faze them as it would a normal individual with a conscience. So be prepared for more of the same or walk away.

“It’s not the lie that bothers me. It’s the insult to my intelligence that I find offensive.” Unknown

That’s exactly it. Most pathological liars think that they are experts when it comes to lying so no one is the wiser for it. However, sometimes they come across those of us who can see right through them and that’s when they fall flat on their lying faces and move on to more fertile territory, the women who love being lied to. Unfortunately, there are plenty of those too.

“You know what’s great about compulsive liars? They keep zero promises and then make YOU feel guilty about it when you’re upset.

I need to master this art.” Unknown

Finally, pathological liars are not worth your effort, time and energy. It takes all of this and more to keep them in line not to mention the eventual heartbreak it brings. There are no long-term with these guys just lots of being on the look out all the time. It is definitely NO fun and definitely not how I want to spend the rest of my life and neither do you, so keep your eyes and ears wide open and remember if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it is probably a LIE!

“How much happier would life be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire!” Unknown

AND

“Secrets and lies kill relationships. No matter how careful you are, you will get caught. What’s done in darkness always comes to light.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Friends

Why is it important to know who your real friends are? Have you set a criteria on how you choose your friends? It is important because many come wearing the “friend” tag but only a very few make it there in reality. There are the fake friends who are not really your friend but they are there for what they can get from you. There are the ones who are envious and envy does not make for a good friendship. Anything good that happens to you is as if something bad had happened to them! Beware of such so called friends because they are not your friend! Then there are the fair-weather ones who are there when all is well but are nowhere to be seen when things go down south!

What makes for a good friend? There are certain markers for a good friendship. Trust is one of them. You should be able to trust one another and when it’s not there, the trustworthiness, it is hard to build a friendship.

Honesty is another aspect that is critical for a friendship. One of the hallmarks of true friendship is truth. Be truthful even if it hurts.

Mutual benefits of a true friendship. You add to each other’s lives and that there is a give and take and not just take all the time.

Perhaps, the most important aspect is you like each other and you enjoy each other’s company. Time spent with a friend is time well-spent. Laughter, talks, smiles and a genuine affection for each other are all important for a true friendship to thrive and to grow.

Below are some quotes that speak to what a friendship is not and this too is important.

“You find yourself making all the sacrifices, going the extra mile to make your fake friend happy. Notice those friends that will never choose you over their comfort.” Unknown

“You never know who your real friends are until you are in need. You’ll be surprised who shows up.”

“Before you count your friends, make sure you can count on them. Some friends are only around when they want something from you but are never there when you need something from them.” Rashida Rowe

“Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder, they pretend to be your friend first.” Steve Irwin

Hmm…..

Finally,

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Watch for those footprints. Not all who profess “friendship” is your friend. It’s better to have a few friends who love and care about you than many who are never there when you need them. Choose your friends carefully.

“Only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.”

Have an amazing day.

Epic Trump Takedown! (Archives)

I’m reposting this again because what Nate White had to say about Trump still stands true. The man (not king) is on a path of destruction. Rule of law does not apply where he is concerned but then again why should it? He is a convicted felon with 34 counts to his name so how did he make it to the highest office in the land? A question many are asking over and over again. Ask Elon Musk is my answer. Watching Trump talk about criminals (the immigrant variety) and the home-grown ones is nothing short of ironic. People with tattoos and if you’re brown-skinned you’re a gang member no due process required. That was Abrego Garcia’s fate who is sitting somewhere in a Salvadorian Gulag. Is he still alive? No one knows for sure. However, the one with the tattoos is now the Defense Secretary and the “criminal” is talking about sending people off to Salvador to meet their fate while rule of law is going to hell in a handbasket!

Here is the best description of Trump ever and it was penned by Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England.

“Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. He has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace.”

He goes on to add:

“And in Britain we traditionally side with David not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs; Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more of a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.”

There’s more to this epic takedown and it goes like this:

“his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit…..He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W. look smart….if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws…..he would make a Trump….If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be a boxed set.”

Hands up if you disagree. Perfectly put together and it was an epic takedown if there ever was one!

Epic Trump Takedown!

Here is the best description of Trump ever and it was penned by Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England.

He goes on to add:

There’s more to this epic takedown and it goes like this:

Hands up if you disagree. Perfectly put together and it was an epic takedown if there ever was one!

A Power-Packed Speech

Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker delivered his ‘State of the State’ address in Springfield Wednesday and although he spoke of many things, it was the last part that made many of us sit up and take notice. He was speaking to the heart of the matter.

Here is an excerpt:

“if you just give Donald Trump everything he wants, he’ll make an exception and spare you some of the harm….I once swallowed my pride to offer him what he values most… public praise on the Sunday news shows…..it turns out his promises were as broken as the BIPAP machines he sent us instead of ventilators.”

He went on to deliver what can only be called a punch to the gut without lifting one finger. It was eloquent, it was persuasive and it was more than powerful.

“The seed that grew into a dictatorship in Europe a lifetime ago didn’t arrive overnight. It started with everyday Germans mad about inflation and looking for someone to blame….I’m watching with a foreboding dread what is happening in our country here…..The authoritation playbook is laid bare here. They point to a group of people who don’t look like you and tell you to blame them for your problems.”

He further added:

“I just have one question. What comes next? After we’ve discriminated against, deported or disparaged all the immigrants and the gay and lesbian and transgender people, the developmentally disabled, the women and the minorites – once we’ve ostracized our neighbors and betrayed our friends – After that, when the problems we started with are still there staring us in the face – what comes next.

All the atrocities of human history lurk in that answer to that question. And if we don’t want to repeat history – then for God’s sake in this moment we better be strong enough to learn from it.”

Nothing more needs to be said.

LIES

We’ve heard this quote before, one that puts the spotlight on lies and lying and keeps it there. It goes like this:

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!” Sir Walter Scott (1808)

According to Mark T. Edmead, it means that “when you act dishonestly, you are initiating problems, and a domino structure of complications, which will eventually run out of control.”

Yet we all lie or have told lies in one form or another. It has become a pastime for some of us and for others a way of life. Some may be viewed as harmless in the grand scheme of things but in the long run, it morphs and takes on a different persona, one that could destroy and cause tremendous harm. The basic ones such as “white lies” are the least serious of all lies. However, after time “white lies” tend to lose their credibility and reappear as black ones if used often enough. The difference between the two? White lies are told to please someone and carries very little dishonesty whereas the opposite is done to gain personal benefit by telling black ones. It’s sole purpose is to harm while protecting oneself.

Let’s look at some of the other forms of lies. I will concentrate on just a few, the ones that are everyday fare for the seasoned liar.

Dawson McAllister of TheHopeLine has pinpointed many different forms but here are the ones that hit close to home.

Bold Face Lies

It is “telling something that everyone knows is a lie. As we get older, we try to be more clever with our cover-ups. Some people never grow up enough to deal with their bold-faced lying even though others know what they are saying is completely false.”

Lies of Deception

This type might seem harmless and at first some might even call it “white lies” but in actuality it can be used as a “powerful and hurtful tool. It can be very subtle yet deadly.”

Compulsive Lying

It has been said that “compulsive lying is caused by low self-esteem and a need for attention. A compulsive liar tells their mistruths even when telling the truth would be easier and better. It is more than ridiculous, it is a tragedy.”

This is the kind I am most used to. I was married to someone who didn’t think twice about the lies that came out of his mouth. Once he realized that his “lies” had power to detract and deceive they the “lies” became a way of life for him. I was on the receiving end and it hurt and brought me down to my knees but compulsive liars will not acknowledge or see the destruction they cause instead they will find bigger and better ways to get their lies across AND claim it is the truth and nothing but the truth. I used to say, “one day you are going to cry wolf and no one will come to your rescue.”

“Only cry wolf when the wolf is really there, otherwise you risk losing everyone’s trust.” Unknown

I have met many liars since then. Perhaps because I was in a vulnerable state in my life. Since I started the journey I am on, I am learning that I am more than I used to be. There is strength within this small frame of mine. Calling on all liars, please be aware. I am no longer your stepping stone and I can spot you a mile away!

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.” Fyodor Dostoevsky

Nicely said but I like this one better.

“You can dish it out but you can’t take it when your called on it. Grow some balls and own up to your lies.” Unknown

Hmm….

Have an amazing day.

Integrity

Integrity, a word that is supposed to be the mainstay of any relationship but these days it is sorely lacking in our society and your ‘word’ is no longer what it used to be. Ethical behavior and principles have been disregarded for individual gain and self-serving self-interests. This lack is eroding all that we stand for including honesty and loyalty. The current downward trend and erosion of something valuable has far-reaching consequences because moral compass is a thing of the past for some and “your word is your bond” is a non-entity as far as others are concerned.

What is integrity?

It is defined as, “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” In other words, say what you mean, and do what you say.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” C. S. Lewis

“Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back.” Unknown

“Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment.” Unknown

“Wisdom is knowing which road is the right one: Integrity is taking it.” Unknown

“When wealth is lost nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” Unknown

“If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.” Chinese Proverb

“You learn a lot about someone by what they choose to do when no one is watching.” Shane Parrish

“People with good intentions make promises but people with good character keep them.” Unknown

A lie is a lie.

A white lie is a lie.

A half truth is a lie.

A hidden truth is a lie.

A lie by omission is a lie.

A lie is a lie.

PERIOD!

You are not born with integrity, it is a learned behavior. It is knowing or getting into the habit of doing the right thing even when it is HARD and inconvenient at times but it is necessary because it gives people the moral and ethical clarity they need to do the right thing at the right time and a person of integrity stands by their word and is considered to be someone you can trust. That says it all.

Have an amazing day.

Pathological Liar

Abraham Lincoln said it best:

“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”

“Pathological liars tend to:

Have a lack of empathy.

Focus on basic needs, such as food and money.

Find pleasure and gratification in lying.

Speak in terms of cause-and-effect instead of emotions.

Be cunning and manipulative.

Lie just for the sake of lying. ” Science=People

How do you cope with a pathological liar?

Don’t expect them to admit to a lie because they will stick to their lies even when it’s obvious that they are not telling the truth.

Don’t take it personally. It is not about you, it is a mental disorder or so they say.

Don’t think just because they look you in the eye, they are telling the truth. Most often they can stand on their heads and try to convince you that they are telling you the truth.

Don’t lose your temper because it’s not about you losing control, it just makes them much better liars. There’s no winning with these guys.

Do trust yourself and your intuition.

Do pay attention to their actions rather than their words because after all actions do speak louder than words.

Do set boundaries as to what you will tolerate and what you won’t in a relationship not that it matters to these individuals. They are well-versed in the art of lying and somehow getting away with a lie does not phase them as it would a normal individual with a conscience. So be prepared for more of the same or walk away.

“It’s not the lie that bothers me. It’s the insult to my intelligence that I find offensive.” Unknown

“You know what’s great about compulsive liars? They keep zero promises and then make YOU feel guilty about it when you’re upset.

I need to master this art.” Unknown

Finally, pathological liars are not worth your effort, time and energy. It takes all of this and more to keep them in line not to mention the eventual heartbreak it brings. There are no long-term with these guys just lots of being on the look out all the time. It is definitely NO fun and definitely not how I want to spend the rest of my life and neither do you I think so keep your eyes and ears wide open and remember if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it is probably a LIE!

“How much happier would life be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire!” Unknown

AND

“Secrets and lies kill relationships. No matter how careful you are, you will get caught. What’s done in darkness always comes to light.” Unknown