February 2025 – Page 9

This Last Candle

“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.” Nathaniel Hawthorne

I love candles, especially the scented variety. Today, I reached for another one of the beautiful scented kind and realized it was the last one!

You kept those candles coming. Every weekend you would bring me a new one to add to the growing collection and I took it all for granted thinking it would never end. It did end because you’ve been gone for over two years and this last candle brings home the fact that you are really gone. It is sadness I feel because a beautiful part is missing and it is not just the candles.

I remember it well. The memory of your smile, the kindness, the giving but most of all the strength behind that gentle facade. I tell people, “You made my life easier.” I still see you as you were in happier times. The laughter, the talks, the walks but most of all the times shared. I still see you as you were.

This last candle symbolizes the fact that you are really gone and “YOU” are slowly being erased from my life. However, I still see the gifts scattered around the house. The beautiful blue and white Chinese vases that you gifted one Christmas because you knew I loved them. The beautiful framed picture of Chachi, the cat, doing his most beautiful pose and so many big and little things that made and make your presence be known. It also brings home the fact that the generous showing of “love” has stopped but one thing remains and it keeps on giving.

Chachi, the cat was your gift to me. I remember the day the tiny British short-hair showed up at my doorstep in your arms. You wanted to see joy in my eyes but instead you got disbelief and even a little anger. Cats reel me in hook, line and sinker and having lost “Twitty” not too long ago, I wasn’t ready to let another fur ball get close to me. You put Chachi on the floor and little cuteness walked up to me, put one paw on my leg and raised his eyes to me to get a closer look and I fell like a ton of bricks! I guess it was the greatest gift you gave me. The little guy brings me joy, gives me love and watches me like a hawk!

As I light this last candle today, memories of you flood my mind but they are good ones and of good times shared together. I know you are where you need to be, free of pain and at peace.

Fly high with the angels Mike for you are one of them now and thank you.

“Time goes by so fast. People come in and out of our lives so quickly. Never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you…..before it’s too late.” Unknown

A Sunshiny Day!

It’s a gorgeous day full of sunshine and bright blue skies. On days like this all seems to be well with the world but wait a minute! Perhaps I spoke too soon.

“The Dust Bunnies killed my Cleaning Fairy.” Unknown

I’m a clean freak! After breakfast, it is clean time first. The kitchen gets a quick cleaning and then I start with the other rooms which beg for my attention. A quick vacuum and I’m done for the day.

Chachi, the cat, doesn’t make it easy. “Have cat, must clean,” is my motto. I love the little guy in the fur coat but it seems his “fur coat” is getting thinner these days. A quarter of it can be found on the carpets, under the beds and on the stairwell!

Today, it is more than a challenge. The sun seems to find every nook and cranny and there they are, bigger than life and laughing their heads off! I’m talking about the dust bunnies which lie dormant and are invisible until the sun hits them and you realize that all that cleaning didn’t amount to much.

I need to get the big guns out today. The Dyson Vacs do a great job of getting those pesky dust bunnies along with the fine Chachi hair which is sometimes invisible to the naked eye. ” Dust Bunnies run and hide because I’m coming for you!”

AND

“Chachi, please don’t feed the Dust Bunnies!”

He goes:

“I don’t know what human is going on about but it’s par for the course. She gets that way sometimes. IGNORE! IGNORE! IGNORE!”

Have an amazing day.

My Favorite Thing to Cook?

I am a good cook, a talent I got from my mom. She was a really good cook. I have a big collection of cookbooks I collected from my travels around the world and I read them like a book! However, I don’t use the recipes per se, I take them and change them around and it usually turns out great.

Indonesians are great cooks. They can take the simplest of things and turn it into a meal fit for a king or queen. There is one recipe I love from that country. It is made with boiled eggs and a thing they call a chili sambal. Crushed chilies with loads of spices and sauteed with chopped onions served on plain white rice. How can something so simple taste so scrumptiously good? Believe me, it does if you’re into spicy foods as I am.

I make this dish really well. There are other recipes but this one is my favorite and I make it whenever winter rolls around and I need something to warm the soul. It does the trick.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite thing to cook?

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Stop Being Too Nice!

There is this thing as far as being too nice or too kind. It can be equated to “people pleasing,” but I think it goes deeper than that. It stems from “feelings of inadequacy and the need to get approval and validation from others. Overly-nice people try to please so that they can feel good about themselves,” according to marciasirotamd.com

“Sometimes I regret being nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and for making unworthy people a priority in my life.” Unknown

There is more than an element of truth to that assumption. I tend to be nice and at times overly kind and often it backfires on me. It seems when you are too nice, you are viewed as a pushover or a doormat and you tend to get taken advantage of. Still, I persevere and often hope that the kindness is reciprocated but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. People who take advantage have their own problems and that is not of the “nice” kind. However, being too nice can lead to “unhealthy relationships, personal dissatisfation, and emotional exhaustion.”

“Good people are like candles, they burn themselves up to give others light.” Unknown

How do you stop being too nice? According to nurturingmindscounseling.com here are six tips that will get you there. If used correctly, this will be your best friend.

Set boundaries.

Remembering your needs are valid.

Notice and name the patterns that take you down the “people-pleasing” path.

Identify what change looks like. Say “no” and mean it.

Expect that you’re going to be uncomfortable.

Practice self-compassion. Don’t beat yourself up.

The next time you notice yourself going out of your way to accommodate someone when you know you have to bite the bullet to do it, say STOP! and take a couple of steps back to reevaluate the situation and go from there. You don’t always have to be “nice” to be validated. Work from the inside out, set those boundaries, know what works and what doesn’t and if they or whoever you’re dealing with gets upset, let them deal with it. It is not your problem.

The Nice Girl Syndrome is a fake persona that arises from societal stereotyping of women. We’re supposed to be accommodating, accepting, loving, kind, gentle and so on. Once you deviate from such niceties you are viewed as the not so “nice” variety. Here’s the thing. You are your own person and you don’t have to be nice all the time! I’m changing my tactics. These days I carry a whip, an imaginary one and I’m not afraid to say, Back Off! It’s a new me and it takes getting used to but it’s working for me and that’s what matters.

“That’s the problem with putting others first: you’ve taught them you come second.” Unknown

Take your power back and have an amazing day.

My First Computer

Honestly, I can’t remember much about it! All I can say is that I needed a computer to get my papers done and I was using the one at the university library because I didn’t have a computer of my own. It meant late nights at the library trying to get my work done and walking alone to the car park afterwards. I didn’t feel safe because there had been a couple of incidents involving female students getting raped and assaulted.

I decided to get a computer and a friend helped to set it up because I am not computer savvy and a klutz where technology is concerned. I don’t recall what brand it was or what it could do, just that I could work on my papers late into the night without fear and let me tell you, it was freedom of a new kind! No more rushing to the library in the evenings and no more overthinking about what could happen in that car park.

My first computer helped to get things done but I don’t think it was high tech compared to what I have now. The one I have now is fast and has so many additional features but the old one was slow but it did what was necessary at that time in my life.

Daily writing prompt

Write about your first computer.

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