It’s that time of the year again. Time to take notice that you’ve been gone and another anniversary is staring me in the face. I was talking to the gardener yesterday and he mentioned that the roses are looking gorgeous this year.
I have roses of every color in the garden thanks to you. You not only sent me roses every chance you got so much so that the florist said, “You are a lucky one!” whenever they delivered those bouquets. The flowers have stopped coming. I do get some now and then but not to the degree when you were here. However, you made sure that I would never forget by planting all those rose bushes in the garden and each time I see them in bloom, I say “thank you.” Yesterday was no different. The heatwave is taking its toll on the plantlife but there is this one rosebush, it has big red gorgeous blooms, and it was gloriously in bloom. I told the gardener, “Mike planted those.” He said, “they are beautiful.” And they are.
Another year is rolling around. Yes, the memories are fading like they usually do with time. However, some stick around like it was only yesterday. The years haven’t dimmed the power they have to show me in 3D vividness like it had happened only yesterday. The shared laughter, the hugs, the kisses, and the caring. One memory comes to mind simply because I’m about to go through it again. This time around, I’ll be alone.
I needed a CT scan or was it a MRT. I had never had one before and I was claustrophobic to boot. I told you, I couldn’t do it. You said, “We’ll get through it.” When I walked into the room I was beside myself with anxiety and I kept whispering, “I don’t think I can do this.” You took one look at me and asked the radiologist, “Can I stay in the room?” He answered that the radiation wouldn’t be good for you. You grabbed my hand and without hesitation you said, “I’m staying.”
I remember you standing next to the machine, holding my hand as the machine went into action. Every time I moved, you whispered, “I’m here.” It took about 30 to 40 minutes and I made it through simply because you were there. You were that kind of man. Kind, gentle, and caring.
I’m sure you are doing just fine in heaven and probably giving the angels a run for the money! I know you are watching over me as well because you said you would. So each time I see a beautiful rose in bloom in the garden, I say “thank you.”
I also remember the songs you used to send me. Songs that told me how you felt, where you stood as far as the relationship, and what you thought of me. It was all so clear and there were no guessing games. Life was easy with you and I miss that. As another year rolls around, I want to share this song with you. It’s my turn now to bring flowers to your grave and to let you know how I feel.
I MISS YOU, ALWAYS WILL.
Thank you.
R.I.P
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