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The Cinderella Effect

A friend sent this a few days ago and it got me thinking.

“If life doesn’t feel like a fairytale,

If every beautiful sentence seems like ridiculous madness to you…..

Take your existence by the hand,

Be the artist of your own future,

Don’t wait for toads to turn into princes, or pumpkins into carriages,

Remember that everything that was conquered with effort, smells of joy that knows no limits,

Be your own fairytale.” Unknown

I would love to take that last line to heart but fairytales are made of fairy dust and all things nice. The guy gets the girl, a pair of glass slippers has the power to snare a prince and a fairy godmother who orchestrates the whole shebang! How far from the truth can it be? These days things just don’t work that way. I am not sure if it did work that way in Fairytale Land but make-believe is just that, you can work magic into anything and parade it as the truth and have people swallow it lock, stock and barrel!

These days you pick someone out of a dating site, whichever it might be. Then begins the excruciating task of deciding if it’s a “yes” a “no” or it lands in the maybe pile. It all boils down to as the saying goes from the Frog Prince, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince.” Not appetizing is it? And even then, you might just walk away with nothing to show for it and that is the reality of it.

Life is not a fairytale. The girl doesn’t always get the guy in the end and there is no walking off into the sunset and happily ever after either. More often not the shoe doesn’t fit and heartbreak follows in its wake. I could go on and on but I am going to stop right here and lighten the mood a little. I hope these quotes help to keep you company as we go through life searching for that needle in the haystack.

“Someday my Prince Charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.”

That hasn’t changed much, you know what I am talking about if you’ve ever been in a car with a guy and he refuses to admit that he’s lost. Nothing new there.

I love this next one from Ms. Oprah Winfrey.

“Mr. Right’s coming, but he’s in Africa, and he’s walking.”

Ms. Carrie Bradshaw had a lot to say on this topic.

And just like that:

“A relationship is like couture. If it doesn’t fit perfectly, it’s a disaster.”

The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want and just see what happens.”

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a girl will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

Don’t despair. As the Fairy Godmother said:

“Even miracles take a little time.”

If all else fails,

Ladies,

Please stop wasting your time looking for Mr. Right.

Just find Mr. Left and drag that sucker to the right!

Keep Going

The path ahead is unclear. It is scary. It is often filled with obstacles that we have to cross to make it up that mountain. We find ourselves on our way and then we take a tumble and we find ourselves not back to square one but somewhere in between and that is where I am now.

The weekend was filled with uncertainties and all my good intentions seemed to have flown out the window. I thought I was doing so well only to find that being on my way, moving on from the here and now is a long process. It doesn’t happen overnight and neither does it happen in a few days, a few weeks or a few months. It is an ongoing process which involves falling, picking yourself back up and having the courage to say, “Here I go again!”

“When you walk in the fire, you start becoming fireproof.” Hiral Nagada

I spent the weekend looking for excuses as to why I CAN’T do this and that is often the case with me. It is easier to look for excuses than to move on. Fear is another factor that plays into my inner being and that little voice within, the one that acts like a little kid keeps tugging and says you are not capable of making it to the other side. However, there is this other voice that refuses to give up and if given the chance, it will become a deafening roar that pushes me to my limits and lets me know that there is strength, unbeatable strength within and all I need to do is stand back up and start moving. Just remember that it will get worse before it gets better it says and that is the truth.

It takes time, it takes effort and it takes hard work to get to the top of the mountain and there will be times when I will take a fall and land where I don’t want to be, lost in my own excuses of why I can’t move on. Acknowledge but don’t get too comfortable where you are. It is no man’s land and you want better so stand back up and look towards that open door and go through it because failure is not an option.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” Mary Ann Radmacher

Also remember that failure is a choice, standing still is not an option and walking away from things that keep you from achieving your goals is the right thing to do no matter how painful it is. Let go of things that don’t serve you and make the commitment to keep going and you will arrive at where you need to be. My mission for this week is to keep moving, one step at a time and to keep going.

“No matter how bad things are right now.

No matter how stuck you feel,

No matter how many days you’ve spent wishing things were different,

No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel,

I promise you won’t feel this way forever.” Unknown

Here’s a story of hope. Last year, I uprooted a peony bush because it was growing too close to a fence and its growth was being stunted. I decided to move it to a smaller area where I thought it would thrive. There was a risk that it might not survive the process at all. All through winter, it looked like it had died. A week ago, I noticed that it was sprouting! Today, when I walked out the front door I noticed that new leaves were forming and it was budding and there were five buds on this tiny plant. Perhaps, it is a lesson from nature that even in the deepest darkest of times when we think all is lost, life is working its magic to show us that patience wins out and “better” is on its way. If all else fails, remember that it is not Amazon Prime, the delivery doesn’t happen in one or two days!

IT TAKES TIME.

Two Old Men

Both men are old, Biden is 81 and Trump is 77 years old. Both are suffering from cognitive decline in one form or another but if you listen to Fox News, it is Biden who is in his geriatric years. Both are battling to take the reins of the highest office in the land, one is currently there and wanting another four years whereas the other is giving his all to regain control of the White House which he lost and still hasn’t accepted cognitively that it was won legitimately and with no election interference. We look on in dismay or more specifically in terror as the election year moves on at a glacial pace as both men show us in more ways than one that neither one of them is the best choice and we need younger and more vibrant personalities to fill that space at the top of the tier.

Nonetheless, we are smack dub and in the middle of a geriatric year of elections. It has been an eye-opener so far and promises much more in the form of why “two old men” should not run for the highest office in the land.

Let’s look at some of Mr. Trump’s gaffes through the years.

His most famous was the word, “Covfefe.” POTUS tweeted this in May 2017, “Despite the constant negative press covfefe,” and the world sat up and took notice. Not because it was something prolific but because the word does not exist. There was a mad dash to unscramble what it meant and we later found out that it was a mistake and it was meant to be, “coverage.” Much ado about nothing indeed!

Then there was the time when Trump delivered a speech marking the 9/11 attacks and it went like this:

“I wrote this out, and it’s very close to my heart, because I was down there and I watched our police and our firemen down at 7/11, down at World Trade Center right after it came down.” He meant 9/11.

More recently, he confused Nikki Haley with Nancy Pelosi and praised Hungary’s Prime Minister Viktor Orban as “the leader of Turkey.” Shades of Biden?

Another faux pas which points to Mr. Trump’s state of mind is his September 15 speech in Washington when he warned, “that America was on the verge of World War II,” which ended in 1945.

Then on 14 September, Mr. Trump went on to say in his no nonsense and kingly fashion at a rally in South Carolina, “I’ve been saying, look, if they’re not going to pay, we’re not going to protect, OK?” And then he went on to say that he would encourage Russia to attack Nato members he deemed financially delinquent. If that doesn’t speak to his mental state, I don’t know what does!

After a NY judge ruled Thursday that jury selection will begin on March 25 with no delays in the hush money trial, Trump again called it an election interference ploy saying that he is stuck in court instead of being on the campaign trail which is all a lie. He does not need to sit in court day in and day out. His words were, “I’m honored to sit here day after day on something that everybody says the greatest legal scholars say it’s not even a crime.” The comment “smacked of entitlement to being above the law, which prosecutors and political opponents have long accused Trump of harboring.”

According to Ian Hughes, “Politicians who live in an angry narcissistic fog pose a clear threat to democracy and peace, and Donald Trump is a classic illustration of what this means in practice.” Not only that, “People like Trump with narcissistic personality disorder are driven to live out their lives by damaging others and pursuing their grandiose destructive dreams because they are psychologically incapable of coming to terms with the ‘fire and fury’ that lie within. Add to that the advancing years and you’ve got something to contend with.

Both men have had their share of geriatric moments but Mr. Trump is ahead in that respect. Can we trust either one of them to take up the reins of the highest office in the land? Whoever takes office should have a clear head, a steady hand and an unwavering propensity to lead in the right direction. The way I see it, Biden comes off looking like a spring chicken when compared to Trump. While “stupidity” reigns supreme in Trump’s world, Biden is calm, collected and presidential, faux pas aside. Moreover, he is a gentler version of what the White House needs when compared to the “know-nothing,” “unhinged, “crass,” and “liar” Trump!

Milestones

“Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.” Nelson Mandela

A milestone is defined as “a significant event in your life.” It could be another birthday, a special day in your life, a marriage, an anniversary, the birth of a baby or even a new chapter in your life. It is auspicious and it should not be taken lightly because milestones show us where we stand and how we are progressing through this journey called life.

Sometimes you have to work hard to arrive at that milestone and at other times you have no control over it. It arrives as scheduled and you have no say in the matter. Take birthdays for example, it has nothing to do with how you get there but each year it arrives without fail and you are left staring at a new year ahead with the old one behind you. You can choose to rejoice, you can moan or you can totally ignore it as a friend of mine does each year. It is a more than a chore for him. Whatever the case may be, you’ve reached another milestone and life goes on from there.

“Today is a milestone, it tells you how far you’ve come. Keep learning, keep trying, keep accomplishing and keep venturing on through your journey.” Unknown

What are the important milestones in your life?

In mine it was the first time a boy asked me out on a date and I got my first kiss under the stars. It was beautiful and filled with innocence and I learned that “boys” found me attractive and that put a smile on my face. I had ventured out of my tom-boyish days and was blossoming into a young woman with the world at my feet. It was a wonderful feeling.

The next milestone was when I got my first paycheck. It was a paltry sum but I’ll never forget that feeling of walking on air that it gave me. More than that, I knew that I was on my way to bigger and better things!

Getting married was an important milestone. I was finally an adult and I had a life of my own. Even though the marriage broke up many years later, it taught me that I am fully capable of dealing with whatever life throws my way.

The birth of my son was a wonderful milestone. I felt like I had come full circle and it taught me that as a parent I had responsibilities and there were lessons to teach and learn without a playbook.

Divorce was a milestone I would rather forget. Hurt, pain, a waterfall of tears and holding on were the terrible lessons of walking away from a love that didn’t quite work out and it was one of the hardest things I had to do. It taught me that life was far from over and I had to move on from where I was and look towards the uncertain future and I am still learning to do that.

Losing someone close to me was a horrific milestone. Actually there were several of those. First response was, “I can’t deal with this!” I did find out that I was fully capable of dealing with this and much much more. Just when you think you can’t, life shows you that YOU CAN. The strength within is unbeatable and it was those times that strength reached out and showed me a better way. It too was a milestone to be treasured.

Milestones are important markers of life. Some are wonderful, some we would rather forget but no matter what, milestones keep showing up and they will keep doing so because it is a part of life. They are there to show us our development as individuals, how far we have come, where we have to go to complete our journey and what we have to do to get there. Enjoy them, accept them, learn from them and be grateful for all of them.

“Be thankful for all of the small victories as you work toward large milestones as it’s not the endgame that matters most but how you got to where you are.” Unknown

And

What a beautiful thing it is to be able to stand tall and say, “I fell apart, and I survived.” Unknown

The Bully

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“Bullying is the result of an unequal power dynamic – the strong attacking the weak.” Maria Konnikova

Trump is toxic, he is dangerous and he is a bully through and through. He has used the bully pulpit to his advantage and used his power to belittle those he deems not worthy of compassion or kindness. The man is ruthless when it comes to spewing insults. His motto is, “Talk first, think later,” and this approach has got him into hot water more than once. It seems his toxic nature is part and parcel of his makeup, character wise I mean. Furthermore, he is sorely lacking in how a President should present himself because everything comes down to one thing and that is himself. It is not about the people but about loud-mouthed, asinine Trump and that is why he goes from one gaffe to the next all the while with that Cheshire cat grin plastered on his face.

According to James Barber, who published a well-known study on presidential character, a good President should have the following leadership qualities:

A strong vision for the country’s future.

An ability to put their own times in the perspective of history.

Effective communication skills.

The courage to make unpopular decisions.

Crisis management skills.

Character and integrity.

Wise appointments.

An ability to work with Congress.

Furthermore, he added that Presidents must wear many hats and they “must somehow symbolize what American citizens believe to be the essence of their country. They must represent what is valued now and in the past. But even more importantly, they embody the direction of America’s future.”

Do you see Trump doing any or all of the above? He is first and foremost a playground bully who marches to his own drumbeat and that fact alone makes him more than dangerous. One thing he is good at is name-calling and he does it with such prowess that it is mind boggling. From “Crooked Hillary,” to “Pocohontas,” for Elizabeth Warren, to “Shifty Schiff,” for Adam Schiff and “Sleepy Biden,” for Biden but that is just touching the tip of the iceberg. Mr. Trump does not hold back when it comes to throwing punches of the unsavory kind. He takes it all in stride and moves on like the master manipulator he is.

He is single-handedly changing the characteristics of a President but not for the better. ”From referencing a television host’s menstrual cycle to using vulgar phrases to describe opponents to his encouragement of violence at rallies, Trump’s insults have known no bounds and have been a dominant storyline of the campaign,” and continue to be so even today. Other candidates have used insults and mud-slinging but not to the extend that “Orange Jesus” has. ”His speeches have crossed lines, pushed fact checkers to their limits and incited backlash – all the while further stoking the passions of his most ardent supporters.” Just look at his recent debacle where he said he would “encourage” Russia to attack any NATO country that does not contribute 2% of its GDP to the alliance’s coffers. It was a reckless threat which has contributed to fierce backlash in Europe. Does he care? What do you think?

Add to that his constant posturing like a peacock, running his mouth like a loose faucet and his GOD complex mentality and you’ve got a bully at his very best alas to the detriment of the country. Biden’s mental acuity is concerning but Trump’s playground antics and all out temper tantrums are far more terrifying if you ask me.

The Trojan Horse

“In Greek mythology, the Trojan Horse was a wooden horse said to have been used by the Greeks during the Trojan War to enter the city of Troy and win the war.”

In today’s symbolism, it could also mean, “an innocuous appearing container for hiding something within to get past defenses or some other obstacle. Trojan horses can be used for both good and evil.”

That said, the news media is ripe with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. Can it be, would she do it? Would she be willing to give up her more than cushy life of “just being” and take up the reins as the first female African-American president of the USA? Would she even want to try let alone put up with all that her husband, the 44th President of the United States put up with to let his light shine through the hazy, blurred and cruel world of politics where racism played a bigger than life part in his presidency.

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to knock the orange Cheshire cat off his throne of “I’ve got it in the pocket grin,” and do the world a HUGE and GREAT favor! Four more years of “all about me” politics is not my cup of tea and neither is it for all of us with half a brain I might add!

Trump’s problem might just turn out to be the no immunity ruling that Washington DC handed out not too recently. It was a major setback for “orange Jesus.” It reads like this:

“We cannot accept former President Trump’s claim that a president has unbounded authority to commit crimes that would neutralize the most fundamental check on executive power – the recognition and implementation of election results.” Furthermore, it added, “For the purpose of this criminal case, former President Trump has become citizen Trump, with all of the defences of any other criminal defendant.” That aside, Trump is still waiting on the Supreme Court ruling as to whether he violated an article of the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution and that violation could mean him being barred from running for office. Add to that the four criminal indictments and there is HOPE!

If Biden is lacking in cognitive skills, than Trump is lacking in morality, cognitive skills and has a severe lack of knowing what holding the highest office in the nation means. It is NOT all about him. Furthermore, we do not need a “dumpster fire” in the White House! Coming back to Michelle Obama. The lady has proved herself to be a worthy opponent. A graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School, she has more smarts in one little finger compared to Trump who can’t even keep a conversation going without resorting to monosyllabic words and even than just a few words that espouse him in a favorable light or so he thinks! At 60, she is much younger than “Orange Jesus” and could run circles around him in the Presidential debate. Her cognitive skills are in top form and she has her faculties well-placed around her. If all that is not enough, the lady has hutzpah, has a commanding presence about her, oozes class and dignity and last but not least, she has an ace in the hole. It will be the man standing in the shadows pushing her on to victory and that folks is a major plus.

Of course, the Trojan Horse symbolism doesn’t quite fit here because the cat has been let out of the bag or rather it is in the works. Who cares? My money is on her!

Harmony Montgomery

This is a heart wrenching case and one of pure evil. Harmony Montgomery, an innocent 5-year-old went missing in 2019 but it took years before she was reported missing.

Her father, 33-year-old, Adam Montgomery was indicted on murder charges over her disappearance but her body has never been found. The details that emerged of her life with her biological father, Adam, was harrowing, brutal and the little girl endured years of abuse.

It is believed that Harmony was killed on or around December 2019. After having been evicted from their home on November 27, the family, Adam, his wife Kayla, and their two sons and Harmony lived in their car, a silver 2010 Chrysler Sebring. Both Adam and Kayla, his wife, have criminal records. However, the brutality that ensued against the 5-year-old is mind-boggling and hard to comprehend. The child was struck many times in the face by Adam and endured unspeakable abuse as time went on. Child welfare services stepped in but they turned a blind eye to signs of abuse on the child. Even though the family was, “identified as high risk of repeat child welfare system involvement,” they wrote, “the children appeared happy and healthy,” in their report. Their last visit was on October 1, 2019.

The jury trial began on February 6, 2024 in Hillsborough County, Manchester and Adam Montgomery is now claiming that, “Kayla Montgomery was the last person to see Harmony alive and knows how Harmony died.” For her part, Kayla, the stepmother, is claiming that Harmony died after repeated blows to her head by her father, Adam, because she had committed the cardinal sin of being incontinent in the car. After the attack which was brutal to say the least, the defendant pulled into a Burger King and ordered food and ate it nonchalantly without showing any concern for the little girl in the back seat of his car. To make matters worse or even more horrific, he toted the dead body in a duffle bag, tied up in trash bags all over Manchester for months to come.

Lock him up or rather lock them both up and throw away the keys, you say? It might just come to that but for now the trial is ongoing and more and more horrid details are coming to light. For instance, Adam said, “he placed Harmony’s body in a cooler and stowed her over a vent in a shelter he shared with his wife and two sons. Then, he placed Harmony’s body in a closet when neighbors complained of the smell, and then snuck her remains into his workplace freezer.” In March 2020, he put her remains in a U-Haul and disposed of the remains at an undisclosed location.

Evil at its best? Adam Montgomery has admitted that he was guilty of abuse of a corpse and falsifying evidence but he has pleaded not guilty to second-degree murder, second-degree assault and witness tampering charges. He is pushing that part to his estranged wife, Kayla Montgomery. Whatever the case maybe, evil walks amongst us and that is the absolute truth.

RIP Harmony Montgomery

An angel rests in peace, free at last of the horrors that life chose to rest on her tiny shoulders.

The Man of the Hour

The first western interview between Putin and Tucker Carlson was “the best thing that ever happened to Vladimir Putin” according to Belgium’s former Prime Minister, Guy Verhofstadt. The 2-hour interview was a love fest between the two men with Tucker hardly getting a word in as Putin took the reins and let loose.

This song comes to mind:

“You walked into the party

Like you were walkin’ onto a yacht

Your hat strategically dipped below one eye

Your scarf it was apricot

You had one eye in the mirror

As you watched yourself gavotte.”

Putin had neither the hat nor the scarf but he knew exactly what he was doing. This was his opportunity to rant or rather “free speech” on his terms. His 30-second history lesson became a 30-something minute rant as the world watched in disbelief or as a friend put it, “It was enough to make your toes curl!” The suspected war criminal went full steam ahead and wasn’t going to be stopped, not by the former Fox News host, Tucker Carlson. It was his time to shine on the world stage and with his essay about denying Ukraine’s existence as a sovereign state safely turned away in a vault somewhere, he didn’t need it, he had it memorized word for word. Delivering the message with his beady eyes burning with conviction, he marched on to his own drumbeat.

He ranted about any and everything because he had to keep the interview going for two hours and that evidently was no problem. He could have gone on much longer and it didn’t matter that most of it was far from actual facts or reality. It was Putin’s reality and truth and that folks was what the interview was about.

When the interview was over, Tucker blinked with a clueless look on his face and said, “Thank you, Mr. President,” at the same time tucking his tail between his legs. If ever there was a lap dog, well, you know what I want to say.

The Control Freak

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“I’m not really a control freak but…..can I show you the right way to do that?” Unknown

In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy gets on the Yellow Brick Road which will take her through Oz to the Emerald City where she hopes to meet the great and powerful Wizard. In the dating world, it could be the path to your one true love but alas it could also lead you to the big bad wolf, the one who will huff and puff and try to blow your house down!

Someone with a control freak personality is defined as “a person who tries to make others do things the way that they want, even if the other people prefer to do it another way, and even if the initial person has no good reason for interfering. More specifically, “a person who feels an obsessive need to put excessive control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.”

Some reasons for this kind of behavior according to verywellhealth.com is that it provides the individual with “a sense of predictability, stability, and order.”

I wonder if we are giving too many “outs” to these individuals by trying to justify why they are this or that way? Perhaps the only explanation for this personality disorder is that these individuals have a nasty streak within them and “control” as they see it is just part and parcel of their daily existence. It’s my way or the highway and they’ve learned to get away with their obnoxious behavior.

What are the signs of controlling behaviour? According to Webmd.com, these individuals have the following behavior traits.

They insist on having things their way even when it comes to small issues that come down to personal choice.

They refuse to accept blame. You are to blame as far as they are concerned.

They need to be the center of attention and they love upstaging you. In the limelight is where they want to stand even if they have to stand on their heads to do it!

They’re unpredictable. One minute you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread and the next you are dirt under their feet. If you want to be on an emotional roller coaster then you are with the right person!

They lie because they want to control your reality. If you try to contradict them, then you’re the crazy one.

They want to be in charge of finances. They want to handle all of the money. It’s a way to place controls on you.

They dictate where you go and what you do. Controlling your movements gives them the upper hand in the relationship. They love sitting in the power seat. Threats, intimidation or anger are all used skillfully to get what they want.

Another name for this kind of abusive controlling behavior is “intimate terrorism.”

“If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.” Kushandwizdom

Most are hard to spot but if you keep your eyes wide open and your senses tuned, sooner or later you will see through the niceness after one or two dates. If not, you’ll notice the signs as you get to know them. They get upset because you’re smiling too much or because you don’t want to move as quickly as they do or something whatever it is triggered something in them, most times you don’t even know what that is. Suddenly you realize that you are being watched and scrutinized for everything you do. Life with these individuals is like walking through a minefield hoping you don’t accidentally step on one and blow yourself up. It is more than stressful to say the least so if you spot them, DISCARD and move on. Dating is stressful enough as it is but if you find yourself being caged in, WALK AWAY!

“As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible!” Unknown

Uh….Uh, NO THANK YOU!

Scammers

“There are so many scams on the internet now a days. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.” Unknown

Sounds funny doesn’t it but if truth be told those that have fallen prey to this group know that it is far from it. Heartbreak, sadness, feelings of loss not only of money but emotionally as well are the aftermath of being tangled in a scammer’s web of lies. There are plenty of these wolves in sheep’s clothing on the dating platforms and spotting them takes knowledge, know-how and treading carefully.

The men and women who prey on the weak, vulnerable and the lonely know exactly how to go about setting their nets and if you’re out there looking for true love online, be very careful.

Here’s how to spot these losers. According Aura.com, “Americans have lost over a billion dollars to romance scams in the past year alone,” not to mention world wide. It is a lucrative business for these unscrupulous individuals who don’t give two hoots about your heart, let alone your well-being. It is all about what they can get for nothing.

“The first step towards avoiding scams is to learn how to spot them.” Unknown

They have fake profiles and more often than not the photos are usually of attractive individuals with great smiles. Most of these photos are not their own.

They are quick to call it love even before having met you. Taking it to the next level in a short amount of time is their game plan. “I want to spend my life with you!” or “You are the woman of my dreams,” are the ploys used and for the lonely, it is a definite lure.

They push for personal information and try to move the conversation off the dating site and into somewhere more private so that they can skim personal data or information and use it to their advantage.

Once they have you hooked, the plan goes into action. Suddenly they need financial help and you’re the cash cow. Please send gift cards or cash to help me out of the predicament I am in is their usual battle cry and believe it or not many fall for it.

They will never meet in person and they will come up with numerous excuses for why they can’t. Usually they are on an oil rig faraway with only a cellphone but they can’t make calls but they can write you. So please add me to your social media platforms will be next. This will be followed by this is their last contract and they are retiring after that. Suddenly something goes wrong and they have no access to money so they need your help. It reeks of stupidity but not to people who fall for it. The scam continues as long as they can get something out of you but stops as soon as they realize it’s a dead-end.

How to outsmart a romance scammer? If you belong to the Lonely Hearts Club, remember that these lowlifes are looking for money, your money. Love is the last thing on their minds.

Ask for a current photo.

Request to meet in person.

Ask detailed questions because, “the devil is in the details.”

Request a video chat, this will never happen.

Ask for their phone number and if you do get it, it will be a fake number.

Their motto is:

“Let’s cut to the chase, you give me money and I’ll disappear faster than a magician with a rabbit.” Famstatistics.FM

If all else fails, remember what is too good to be true, usually is! Or you can say,

“I’m sorry, my scam detector is ringing.” Unknown

Whatever you do, know that they are out there in more numbers than you think possible so be cautious, get savvy and stay safe. It’s a jungle out there!