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My Ideal Day

How would I describe it? I want to say I would do nothing the whole day long but that is not me so let’s see.

I would stay in my PJs all day if I could! Since that is a no go, I would stay in them part of the day, have a long leisurely breakfast in bed, watch the news and then “hauntings” on TV. I love to spook myself.

After breakfast, I would check emails, write, have another cup of coffee and venture out into the clear blue yonder. A walk in nature would be next on the list and for this I would have to change into sweats. The thing about this village is people don’t care. The women show up in their night clothes, sometimes with rollers in their hair and looking like they had just got out of bed and show up at the bakery or the butcher ready to do what needs to get done. It is an old, old, village and tradition reigns supreme. Not dressing up is one of them! I am trying to not go in that direction but it’s tempting!

Lunch would be a simple affair and more writing would follow if my mind allows it. Some days I draw blanks. A break in between would include workouts of my choice and at the moment it is a combination of cardio and weights. Dinner would be soup and a slice of toast, back into pjs and time to relax and watch some TV. Just before bed, it is meditation time to clear the mind of all that is not needed. Throw in “no problems” and that would make it an ideal day if not a perfect one.

Daily writing prompt

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

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My Day Out

It was my “get out of jail” day, a self-imposed one, and it was nice for a change. The four walls were closing in and just going to the “fields” for a walk wasn’t going to do it this time around. I needed change.

I was looking forward to meeting up with a friend but the day started out with problems. The internet wasn’t working and so it was a mad dash to get in touch with the provider. Then I needed to get changed and it was time for something better than my normal wear of sweatpants and a ratty top to match. I decided on jeans and a nice shirt. I was still irritated by the internet thing but I made it to the cafe on time because “punctual” is my middle name. As usual, the girlfriend was late. “Suzy come lately” showed up 15 minutes late and breezed in with a smile on her face.

The cafe was crowded and the noise level was going up as the “8o” something group at the next table had downed a couple of cups of coffee by now and were high on something or other. Caffeine? I’m not sure but they were a raucous bunch.

We had our usual breakfast of eggs, bacon, a small salad and two cups of coffee each. We were loosening up as well and could see why the group next to us was having so much fun. Something in the coffee?

Anyway, we talked about a whole array of topics and as two single women, it came back to men in general. Nothing much had changed in her world and neither had it in mine.

Two hours in and I was ready for my quiet time again. She had her Tai Chi class next and I needed a fix. The bakery was right across from the cafe so I headed there after taking leave. I was hell-bent on having a really nice day and what better way to do it than with a hot cup of coffee and a slice of cheesecake! In case you’re wondering, the fetish, the cheesecake fetish is still there but it is down to twice a week.

Have an amazing day.

Time (Archive)

“Time and tide waits for no man.” Geoffrey Chaucer

I was discussing time with a friend and told him jokingly that this year I was going to hold on tight and make time go as slowly as possible. He laughed because he knew as well as I did that holding onto time is an impossible task and the truth is, it flies and trying to keep up is the only thing to do.

Zig Ziglar said, “Lack of direction not lack of time is the problem. We all have 24-hour days.”

True but sometimes it seems that the days fly by and just when you think it is the beginning of the week, lo and behold, it’s the weekend again. When we look back, it is clear that we waste a lot of time on things that don’t matter, on people we shouldn’t be wasting our time on and perhaps just sitting around and wishing and hoping that things were different. I’ve started a routine to make the days count because lost time is just that. You are not getting it back ever again. I’ve started writing down everything I do during the course of the day. There are no hard and fast rules so I give myself permission to write down my thoughts and feelings as well as improvement ideas. Surprisingly, I’ve been keeping up and getting a lot accomplished and some days I pat myself on the back and say, “Great job, you’re giving time a run for the money! Keep it up.” It really has slowed time down for me. Try this approach, you might just like it.

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” Michael Altshuler

This year I want to take the time to smell the roses which means taking more time for myself mentally and physically. I want to do things that will bring an improvement to and will enrich my life. I am not going to let a day go by without doing something productive. That said, I am going to find the time to relax, not going to sweat the small stuff and let time keep up with me instead of the other way around! Doable? Anything is doable if you put your mind to it.

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” J.R.R. Tolkien

Have an amazing day.

Significant Events

I think significant events have changed my perspective on life and I guess it goes without saying.

Divorce or rather the breakup of my marriage made me sit up and take off those rose-colored glasses. I was naive and thought it would last forever but “forevers” are for fairytales not real life. I started looking at life from a different perspective and trust is an issue I deal with constantly. It is getting better but it will take a long time to overcome and to trust again.

Death is another significant event that showed me life is very temporary. Here today, gone tomorrow comes to mind. Losing my mom and then a dear close friend showed me how fragile life is.

These two significant events have caused significant impacts on my life. I can say it was not for the better but I did learn some lessons from them and that is life is fleeting and trust takes time, well trust takes a lifetime to build and just seconds to destroy.

The Strength Within

It is there, it is invisible and it stays dormant until it is called upon to show you and the world that YOU are strong, you are undefeatable and you are a force to be reckoned with. Not all of us are that strong and when life throws those lessons our way, we crumble, we push back but after all is said and done and looking back at the past you realize that that “strength” was always there, it just took a little time getting there.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, ‘You got this, keep going.” Unknown

“Courage is not having the strength to go on, it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” Theodore Roosevelt

“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” Brene Brown

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” Steve Maraboli

I love this next one. It shows that the spirit is not easily won over.

“I wear my bruises and scars like armor. Marks of battles fought in silence and storms endured out loud.

My pain? It’s the fire that forges resilience, a testament to the strength that refuses to break. I’m still here, unyielding and undefeated.” Unknown

“You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” Brian Tracy

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway

The last two speaks of understanding and of acceptance and still having the courage and the strength to move on.

“Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver

AND

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” Maya Angelou

Let Your Light Shine!

Have an amazing day.

The Clutter!

I would say hands down the clutter in my office area. I have good intentions but I never get around to it. It looks like a bomb exploded in here, well not quite that bad. I am tidy when it comes to the rest of the house but the office is something else altogether!

There are boxes and boxes of old papers and all kinds of other stuff and if I got started on the chaos, it would take days to get everything filed away and to have some kind of order in here. However, I don’t mind the clutter as there is something comforting about the chaos. I know it well and when I am in this room, my mind runs wild so it fits that scenario! Hard to understand but you have to be me to even grasp that concept!

One day I will get to it but for now it is the kind of clutter I am used to and it serves my creative mind really well.

Daily writing prompt

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

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This Last Candle

“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.” Nathaniel Hawthorne

I love candles, especially the scented variety. Today, I reached for another one of the beautiful scented kind and realized it was the last one!

You kept those candles coming. Every weekend you would bring me a new one to add to the growing collection and I took it all for granted thinking it would never end. It did end because you’ve been gone for over two years and this last candle brings home the fact that you are really gone. It is sadness I feel because a beautiful part is missing and it is not just the candles.

I remember it well. The memory of your smile, the kindness, the giving but most of all the strength behind that gentle facade. I tell people, “You made my life easier.” I still see you as you were in happier times. The laughter, the talks, the walks but most of all the times shared. I still see you as you were.

This last candle symbolizes the fact that you are really gone and “YOU” are slowly being erased from my life. However, I still see the gifts scattered around the house. The beautiful blue and white Chinese vases that you gifted one Christmas because you knew I loved them. The beautiful framed picture of Chachi, the cat, doing his most beautiful pose and so many big and little things that made and make your presence be known. It also brings home the fact that the generous showing of “love” has stopped but one thing remains and it keeps on giving.

Chachi, the cat was your gift to me. I remember the day the tiny British short-hair showed up at my doorstep in your arms. You wanted to see joy in my eyes but instead you got disbelief and even a little anger. Cats reel me in hook, line and sinker and having lost “Twitty” not too long ago, I wasn’t ready to let another fur ball get close to me. You put Chachi on the floor and little cuteness walked up to me, put one paw on my leg and raised his eyes to me to get a closer look and I fell like a ton of bricks! I guess it was the greatest gift you gave me. The little guy brings me joy, gives me love and watches me like a hawk!

As I light this last candle today, memories of you flood my mind but they are good ones and of good times shared together. I know you are where you need to be, free of pain and at peace.

Fly high with the angels Mike for you are one of them now and thank you.

“Time goes by so fast. People come in and out of our lives so quickly. Never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you…..before it’s too late.” Unknown

A Sunshiny Day!

It’s a gorgeous day full of sunshine and bright blue skies. On days like this all seems to be well with the world but wait a minute! Perhaps I spoke too soon.

“The Dust Bunnies killed my Cleaning Fairy.” Unknown

I’m a clean freak! After breakfast, it is clean time first. The kitchen gets a quick cleaning and then I start with the other rooms which beg for my attention. A quick vacuum and I’m done for the day.

Chachi, the cat, doesn’t make it easy. “Have cat, must clean,” is my motto. I love the little guy in the fur coat but it seems his “fur coat” is getting thinner these days. A quarter of it can be found on the carpets, under the beds and on the stairwell!

Today, it is more than a challenge. The sun seems to find every nook and cranny and there they are, bigger than life and laughing their heads off! I’m talking about the dust bunnies which lie dormant and are invisible until the sun hits them and you realize that all that cleaning didn’t amount to much.

I need to get the big guns out today. The Dyson Vacs do a great job of getting those pesky dust bunnies along with the fine Chachi hair which is sometimes invisible to the naked eye. ” Dust Bunnies run and hide because I’m coming for you!”

AND

“Chachi, please don’t feed the Dust Bunnies!”

He goes:

“I don’t know what human is going on about but it’s par for the course. She gets that way sometimes. IGNORE! IGNORE! IGNORE!”

Have an amazing day.

My Favorite Thing to Cook?

I am a good cook, a talent I got from my mom. She was a really good cook. I have a big collection of cookbooks I collected from my travels around the world and I read them like a book! However, I don’t use the recipes per se, I take them and change them around and it usually turns out great.

Indonesians are great cooks. They can take the simplest of things and turn it into a meal fit for a king or queen. There is one recipe I love from that country. It is made with boiled eggs and a thing they call a chili sambal. Crushed chilies with loads of spices and sauteed with chopped onions served on plain white rice. How can something so simple taste so scrumptiously good? Believe me, it does if you’re into spicy foods as I am.

I make this dish really well. There are other recipes but this one is my favorite and I make it whenever winter rolls around and I need something to warm the soul. It does the trick.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite thing to cook?

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Stop Being Too Nice!

There is this thing as far as being too nice or too kind. It can be equated to “people pleasing,” but I think it goes deeper than that. It stems from “feelings of inadequacy and the need to get approval and validation from others. Overly-nice people try to please so that they can feel good about themselves,” according to marciasirotamd.com

“Sometimes I regret being nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and for making unworthy people a priority in my life.” Unknown

There is more than an element of truth to that assumption. I tend to be nice and at times overly kind and often it backfires on me. It seems when you are too nice, you are viewed as a pushover or a doormat and you tend to get taken advantage of. Still, I persevere and often hope that the kindness is reciprocated but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. People who take advantage have their own problems and that is not of the “nice” kind. However, being too nice can lead to “unhealthy relationships, personal dissatisfation, and emotional exhaustion.”

“Good people are like candles, they burn themselves up to give others light.” Unknown

How do you stop being too nice? According to nurturingmindscounseling.com here are six tips that will get you there. If used correctly, this will be your best friend.

Set boundaries.

Remembering your needs are valid.

Notice and name the patterns that take you down the “people-pleasing” path.

Identify what change looks like. Say “no” and mean it.

Expect that you’re going to be uncomfortable.

Practice self-compassion. Don’t beat yourself up.

The next time you notice yourself going out of your way to accommodate someone when you know you have to bite the bullet to do it, say STOP! and take a couple of steps back to reevaluate the situation and go from there. You don’t always have to be “nice” to be validated. Work from the inside out, set those boundaries, know what works and what doesn’t and if they or whoever you’re dealing with gets upset, let them deal with it. It is not your problem.

The Nice Girl Syndrome is a fake persona that arises from societal stereotyping of women. We’re supposed to be accommodating, accepting, loving, kind, gentle and so on. Once you deviate from such niceties you are viewed as the not so “nice” variety. Here’s the thing. You are your own person and you don’t have to be nice all the time! I’m changing my tactics. These days I carry a whip, an imaginary one and I’m not afraid to say, Back Off! It’s a new me and it takes getting used to but it’s working for me and that’s what matters.

“That’s the problem with putting others first: you’ve taught them you come second.” Unknown

Take your power back and have an amazing day.