dailyprompt-1916 – Site Title

Life makes me nervous and it is for the reasons below.

“LIFE is full of unexpected twists, but most things happen for a reason, a season or a lesson.” Unknown

I am tired of learning lessons, both the hard and not so hard ones. However, I know that life is about learning lessons, picking yourself back up after a hard fall, and moving on. I’ve done it many times over and I’m sure that all of us do it on a regular basis.

Will there ever be a time when life moves smoothly? I suppose it is not in its nature and that is the scary part. Yes, there are good times as well but I seem to think it is more about the bad ones where you are front and center and HOW you deal with whatever comes your way is going to speak volumes about who you are and what you are made of. More specifically, if you have what it takes to meet it halfway, shake hands and say, “This is alright. I am fully capable of dealing with this as well even though I think I need a BREAK!”

Hmm….dream on? Exactly. Buckle up folks, those twists, reasons, and lessons are a never-ending thing. Perhaps, that is what life is about and it makes me NERVOUS!

Photo by Ana Alice Azevedo on Pexels.com

Going out on dates makes me very nervous. I hate the whole prep work leading up to the date. What to wear? Hair up or down? Casual or dressy? Makeup? I don’t wear heavy-duty makeup, just a touch of powder and lipstick so that is easy. However, everything comes into play and it makes me very nervous. I think more than anything else, I don’t want to be out there and that is the biggest problem.

I was married for a long time and when it got blown to bits, I had to make a choice. Stay single or put myself out there again. In the beginning, it was even fun. Meeting up for lunch or dinner was okay after the initial awkwardness. The dates usually turned out fine but I think I was the problem. If I got asked out again, I would come up with excuses. Then there was the problem of setting boundaries. I wanted to be friends but they wanted more. It turned out to be a big problem for me. If they gave me a compliment, I would get nervous. If they looked at me a certain way, I would cringe and wonder why. If they went “Whoa!” I would say, “What?!!” Add the “don’t touch policy” I came up with and you get the picture. It was a horror scenario.

I am single still (no wonder you might say) and a recluse to boot! I hate to say it but I love the freedom of not having to wonder what they are thinking, what they want and what they expect from me. Nervousness is on the backburner for now but there is a price to pay. I am alone most days but not lonely. I do want a guy in my life at some point but for now I’m not in a rush. When the time is right, he’ll show up BUT I don’t want to do the work for it. Pick the perfect guy from the crowd and drop him in my lap and I’ll be just fine!

Daily writing prompt

What makes you nervous?