I haven’t watched cartoons in ages so I can’t think of any that I absolutely loved. I recall the “Smurfs” only because my son was into it. It is about “a village of small, blue, elf-like creatures living happily in mushroom houses in an enchanted forest, led by Papa Smurf, who constantly battle the evil, inept wizard Gargamel and his cat Azrael, who want to capture or eat them.”
I didn’t pay much attention to it but I was there to keep him company! That’s all I can remember and the whole Smurf village is still upstairs nicely packed away for his future kids he says. Not any time soon, I hope!
I wish I could stop the overthinking before I decide to do something. It has always been a problem and it stops me from achieving what I want to do. Overthinking brings about uncertainty, fear, and headaches!
Why do I overthink? I don’t know. It just happens and it seems that it is the first line of defense against something that is new. I take the new problem, I call it a problem, and take out the magnifying glass. I come in from all angles, I stay there for a while, and then I come up with, “I don’t think I want to do this!” If that’s not enough, I come up with a hundred different reasons as to why it would be a bad idea.
I wish I could be more spontaneous but the problem is you can’t change something that easily once it has been part and parcel of your lifestyle. Overthinking has kept me from danger, it has protected me from jumping in with both feet before I’ve had a chance to take stock of what I’m doing and it has been a “friend” in some ways. However, it has also worked towards my detriment.
What to do? I could use a little more spontaneity and less of overthinking. That would be a happy medium. Still working on it, so let’s see how it turns out.
This past year has seen both good and bad events. I will talk about the good events. One of them was the publication of my book, The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie. It took forever to get it published and the waiting time was filled with frustration but there was a euphoric high when it was finally out there. Seeing it in print was a feeling I can’t really describe. Happiness was one thing, my writing being out there was another, and a certain nervousness as to what happens next followed.
I think every writer goes through those emotions. Will it make it was the other question? Will it be liked? Will it bomb? You get the drift. However, the first reviews were positive. Then more started coming in. They were mostly positive and then, it hit. I call it a bad review because it brought me back to earth with a loud thud! I was angry, sad, confused, and a whole host of other emotions I can’t even begin to describe. I decided to climb out of the hole, of my own making, and to take it in stride. Then followed more reviews and when the teachers, parents, and educators decided to join in and called it, “a classic in the making,” I was back up again.
If you’re a new author, here’s the thing. It seems that all 5-star ratings are not always a good thing, especially if you have a lot of reviews, according to you know who. Having a mix is a better way to go. I don’t know if that is true but the book is doing fine and I’m still waiting for that movie director to pick it up and say, “Here’s a hit movie in the making!” Hasn’t happened yet but fingers crossed!
The other thing that I’m still working on is to get “me” in a better place. Dating the wrong guys, putting up with false friendships, and learning to go it alone until I know what I really want and will tolerate in my life is taking some time. It is a work in progress. There has been ups and downs, falling flat on my face, picking myself back up again and thinking it is an impossible task to do. However, I am finding that I’ve made headway. The “wrong guys” have been sent packing, I’ve said goodbye to fake friendships and I am seeing a new person emerge out of the fog so to speak. She is much stronger, knows her self-worth and is ready to tackle whatever life throws her way. It doesn’t mean that I’ve made it. It just means that I’m willing to accept the challenge and to see what is out there as I make my way up the mountain top.
Will next year bring something better? I don’t know but positivity brings positivity as they say. One can only hope!
Daily writing prompt
What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?
No, not really except for in documentaries. I call Chachi, the cat, the Lion King but that doesn’t mean anything. He just looks like one, a smaller version of Mufasa but with an attitude!
Other than that, I see deer all the time as I go walking in nature. They seem pretty tame or at least they seem to be from a distance. Once, one dashed out from the woodline just a short distance away and took off to the open fields. No harm done but it did shock me. I’ve heard that we have wild boar in the forest but I’ve never seen them. Also, there are wild dogs. It seems they attacked a deer brutally and left it to die in the forest. A warning sign was posted everywhere after that but I’ve never seen any of them, but when I pass a patch of woods, I listen carefully just in case they are lying in wait but so far nothing. I did see a huge red fox streaking across the fields once heading somewhere in haste. Perhaps, it was late for a date!
I’ve visited many places during my lifetime but the one that I still see in my mind is this place that mom and dad took us to as children. It was in Singapore and the air was scented with night blooming jasmine. Dad wouldn’t tell us where we were headed but it wasn’t too far from where we lived.
We arrived at this open field and it was getting dark. Dad said, “Wait for it.” Sure enough, tiny flickers of light began to form all over the field, dim at first and then as the night grew darker, the lights became brighter. It was mesmerizing and magical. I had never seen anything like it before so I asked, “What are they?”
Dad said, “Fireflies.”
I didn’t know what fireflies were but it didn’t matter. I was caught up in the magic of the moment. Soon, they were all around us and as the parents watched, the children ran around trying to catch them. Dad handed out small glass containers and I managed to catch a few of them. They twinkled within the confines of that container and I watched dazzled by their magic. I thought they were tiny little fairies at first but dad set me straight on that theory. He decided I had enough imagination going on in that little head of mine!
However, it is a place I’ve visited many times during my childhood and it never failed to keep me captivated. If you’ve never seen a field full of fireflies lighting up the night then you’ve missed out on a wonderful display of “magic.”
I’ve visited many places since then and seen gorgeous sunsets, beautiful beaches, fantastic landscapes that have taken my breath away but my first encounter with the fireflies still is at the top of the list.
Daily writing prompt
Do you have a favorite place you have visited? Where is it?
After much thinking, some things did come to mind. My dad used to say that I had an overactive imagination, way back when I was a little girl. I don’t disagree. It still is overactive and that is what helps my writing! If you’re wondering where does she come up with some of the stuff she writes about, blame it on “imagination” that knows no bounds!
The next thing I’m good at is taking a small problem and blowing it up into something unsolvable. When a problem shows up, I look at it and instead of dealing with it like a normal human being in a calm and collected fashion, I pull my hair out! You must be thinking that she pulls her hair out a lot. Right you are. Still, the bald spots are not showing yet because I’ve got plenty of it, hair that is! Overthinking is my arch enemy and my nemesis but I’m working on it.
The next thing I am good at is painting pictures with words. People tell me that they can imagine themselves in the story and that is a good thing. Mom was good at cooking, younger sister was good at singing and I thought I didn’t have any talents until I discovered writing. I agree with the “people” that I can and do paint pictures with words.
I’m a good mom. I was a goal-oriented and career-driven person and never thought I would be a mom one day. Finding out I was pregnant did not set too well with me. It meant giving up my career and moving to another country altogether BUT the minute I felt the little guy kick, I knew that I would be the best mom possible. I’ve always been there for my son and I guess I always will be. He’s my priority. However, Chachi, the cat, thinks he’s the priority! I tell him he’s my baby from another mommy but he says, “No mom, I’m your baby!” I suppose he’s right. I’m good at being a mom.
I’ve written about friendship here more than once. I’m a good friend or at least I try to be. Sometimes I get taken advantage of because of the “niceness” factor but I’m learning not to take everything and to let go when the so called friendship is not working out. I’ve got a criteria for friendship. Be on time, show up when in trouble or at least show that you care, stand by your friend and not jump ship at the first sign of trouble but most of all, be a good friend and not a fair-weather one.
There you are. Five things I think I’m good at. Next question please……
Hmm….just one thing? There are many things I would want to change about myself but ok, I’ll go with one and since you asked.
It would be hands done, being too nice. I have a tendency to bite the bullet and even when I want to let it rip, I step back, take a deep breath and come out smiling hiding my real feelings. It could hurt, I could think it is not fair, but still I take it in stride and instead of letting my feelings show, I let it go inside and do its job of bringing me to my knees at times and at other times, hit rock bottom.
Why? Why do I do that? I don’t know, it is part of my personality. This being “too nice” makes people view me as a pushover. Nice people end last? I think that phrase has a lot of truth to it. So, on this journey of self-discovery, I am learning to be more assertive, to not accept everything that comes my way and to say it like it is even if it is not well-received. My mental health matters, although it is a hard thing to do for someone like me.
These days, I step back and I come back wearing a cape! Ready to do battle? Not really, just standing up for myself. I am learning to like this new me but the old me still shows up wearing sackcloth and ashes and wants to talk me into going back to who I was. Not going to happen. There is something very “rejuvenating” about changing yourself for the better. Like it or not, here I am! Take it or leave it, that’s up to you.
Daily writing prompt
What is one thing you would change about yourself?
It all depends. I don’t think I’m a night person but sometimes circumstances make me that way. Sleepless nights come walking in when Chachi, the cat, is in his element and since he is active at night, I have no choice but to keep him company! Not every night but once in a while and then I think I’m a “night person.” Little brat loves terrorizing his stuffed birds and when he’s at it, I’m on the computer getting things done!
On the other hand, I don’t think I’m a morning person either. I need time to get moving from stretching in bed to breakfast takes time. However, as the day picks up speed, I find myself keeping up with it. It is not that hard to do as I don’t take naps during the day and I keep moving, only stopping when I take time out for meditation or to de-stress.
Coming back to your question, I think I can do both. I don’t see any problems with it although I prefer to get my eight hours in if “Little Buttercup” will let me!
I eat meat in moderation. Cutting back on meat consumption is a personal choice. Once a week is my preference. Today, I have a pot of soup cooking on the stove with meat, lentils, and veggies. A perfect meal for a cold and rainy winter’s day.
Most days, I have fish and or just plain veggies. Sometimes, I do the Chachi diet of tuna. Unlike Chachi’s canned food variety, mine is turned into tuna patties, tuna salad or tuna this or that. Sardines are another favorite. They are high in protein, a great source of omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin D, and calcium. so what’s not to like?
When it comes to meat, I do go for the lean variety, although, I do love fatty cuts as well and sometimes belly pork. These are turned into a Korean style soup with a red pepper paste. It is delicious. However, this is a treat so I keep it to a bare minimum.
I don’t think I can do completely without meat. It has a certain something that appeals to my tastebuds. Take the Iberico pork variety, they are black, red, or spotted pigs fed with acorns and the meat is scrumptious! However, you have to pay a pretty penny if you want to have it on your table.
My feelings about meat? It’s not a must but I do like it now and then.
I love them! Sweats are my go to when I do my nature walks because you can’t beat the comfort factor. A sweatshirt paired with a pair of baggy sweatpants just about goes with everything. I add a scarf, a thick jacket and a pair of boots and I’m ready to go traipsing in nature. I like things baggy so the pants do look two sizes too big and since I’m skinny, (no the cheesecake fetish didn’t do a thing to my physique) , I seem to float in them! It doesn’t matter because the “comfort factor” is top priority and who cares if I look like Grizzly Adam’s sidekick!
The next best thing is pyjamas or pajamas. I call them PJ’s. I love hanging around in them. Flannel ones are my favorites when the cold weather comes knocking. Add a pair of fluffy house shoes and it’s enough to scare Chachi, the cat! He always approaches with caution, takes a sniff or two of the shoes and decides that his worst nightmare has come to life! Weekends are all day, hang out in PJ’s time. The thing about being a recluse is that I don’t have to care about what anyone thinks. Those days of dressing to the nines are done with. These days I do whatever I feel like doing and PJ’s fit in that mode really well. They have to be comfy, loose fitting and made of cotton or flannel. In summer I opt for t-shirts, big roomy ones!
Those are my two favorite things to wear. Of course, I do dress up when I have a meeting in town but I keep that to a minimum. Yes folks, I’m a “recluse” and I’m liking it!
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