letsgetitoutfront

Let It Be

Let It Be. How many times have we heard this phrase? I don’t know about you but I’ve heard it often enough mostly from well-meaning friends, people who care and those who want better for me.

Did it sink in? NOT when I was in the midst of what I call my “end of the world” meltdowns. During these times, “let it be” was the last thing on my mind. However, when you look at these three words, it does hold power behind its seemingly gentle facade. The strength lies in its ability to slow things down, to step back and to take a good hard look at the situation and to say, there is nothing left for me to do so breathe and LET IT BE. Three unassuming words but a powerhouse when it comes to comfort, acceptance and a message of hope.

I want revenge! I want my old friend “karma” to step in and do what I can’t do! I want payback! Unfortunately, revenge is a dangerous option and karma, well it takes its time and that is the problem. Payback? It doesn’t happen automatically. So what do you do while you wait for whatever it is that you’re waiting for to take place? Breathe quietly and LET IT BE.

There is comfort in knowing that you don’t have to do anything. Wipe away the tears, tone down the rhetoric and just LET IT BE.

Acceptance, well this is much more difficult. Accepting means you are ready to let go of an event or situation that has caused so much turmoil. How do you calm this beast down? Breathe deeply and LET IT BE.

Hope is a four letter word that holds power within its unassuming persona. When you zoom into this optimistic state of mind, all things are possible is the message. Armed with comfort, acceptance and hope, I’m going to breathe and LET IT BE, if only for today. Tomorrow is another story!

Today’s mantra will be?

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

The Beatles

My Thoughts on Living a Long Life

I hope I go before my hair falls out, the same for my teeth and before my bones give way!

I live a healthy life which means working out everyday, eating healthy except for my dives into cheesecake now and then but I’m working on that and I do everything necessary to live a good and healthy life. Add daily meditation and walks in nature and I’m on the right track. However, I don’t think I want to live to be a 100 or so because that means being a burden to someone. Age does take a toll and not only on the person but on those around you and so like I said at the beginning, I hope I go before that happens and I definitely don’t want to do the “Methuselah” bit.

Daily writing prompt

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

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The Killing of Christopher Lane

LEST WE FORGET

A series on murders that made sensational headlines because of the “senselessness” of the crime.

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He was a young man from Melbourne, Australia. He was handsome, he was ambitious, he was in love and he had everything going for him. He was two weeks away from celebrating his 23rd birthday when his life came to a screeching halt when a bullet from a passing car found its way to his back and he was pronounced dead within a matter of minutes.

Christopher Lane had won a baseball scholarship with Oklahoma’s East Central University and he was feeling on top of the world on August 13, 2013. What happened on that hot, humid day and how he lost his life is beyond imagination. His father, Peter Lane, put it this way as he tried to make sense of his son’s death. “It is heartless and to try to understand it is a short way to insanity. There is not gonna be any good to come out of this, cause it was just so senseless.” He was right. The senselessness of the killing would make headlines around the world and would make many of us sit up and take notice at man’s inhumanity to man.

They are James Edwards, 15, Chancey Luna, 16, and Michael Jones, 17, and they were at the other end of the spectrum. All three were restless with no future in sight. They had spent the night partying away, smoking meth amphetamine, drinking alcohol and taking Xanax. On the day of the murder, Edwards and Luna stepped into Jones’s Ford Focus for a joyride. It would quickly turn into tragedy for Christopher Lane. He was jogging, minding his own business when Chancey Luna saw him and decided to take aim from the backseat of the car. The bullet penetrated just below Lane’s shoulder blade piercing his heart and lungs leaving him gasping for breath in a roadside ditch. There was no chance for survival.

According to Jones, “We were bored and didn’t have anything to do so we decided to kill somebody.” Remorse was a long time coming if at all. Instead they were on an euphoric high and the exact words used were, “You got that n***a, you shot him, you got him.”

The three teenagers were sentenced as adults. Jones 17, was charged with accessory after the fact of first degree murder, later upgraded to first-degree murder. James Edwards, 15, was sentenced to 25 years jail with 10 years off the sentence suspended and triggerman, Luna was sentenced to life in prison without parole. However, in 2016, Luna’s conviction was overturned by the appeals court because, “the juvenile’s chronological age and immaturity” were not taken into account at time of sentencing. No date has been set as to when a new sentencing will be held.

This is a story that needs retelling because no matter how much time has gone by between then and now, the senselessness of the crime is horrific to say the least and will never get old. Violence has become an all too familiar part of our lives and killings are nothing new. Each new day brings another story of killing or killings and we have become jaded to the violence all around us. However, in this case, the brutality of the crime stands out because the victim and perpetrators had no prior history. Christopher Lane lost his life because he was seen as a thrill-inducing object not as a human being and therein lies the horror of this specific crime.

“Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”

Terry Pratchett

Update:

A Stephens County Judge has upheld the sentencing for Chancey Allen Luna in the shooting death of Chris Lane. He was convicted of first degree murder but Luna attempted to appeal the conviction because he was a juvenile at the time. However, rulings from the U.S. Supreme Court and the Oklahoma Court of Criminal Appeals has upheld that a juvenile can be sentenced to life without parole.

Stop People Pleasing!

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People pleasing is described as “a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.”

Guilty as charged! I didn’t know this about me but I’m a “yes” person and I tend to jump hoops to help others and in so doing my needs and wants are often placed on the backburner.

Here are some signs of a people pleaser:

You put other people’s needs before your own.

You allow others to take advantage of your kindness.

You feel guilty when you take care of yourself.

You find it hard to say NO.

You stay in relationships that are not good for you.

You worry about the future a lot.

“Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.” Rachel Wolchin

That is the absolute truth. The more you give, the more is taken. It is expected that you give and give but if you step back and take a long hard look at the situation as I did last year, I realized it was time to put a stop to the constant giving cycle I was in. It comes down to setting boundaries, strong ones that don’t buckle under pressure.

“The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are those who benefited from you having none.” Unknown

It’s time to say NO and to stick to it. Taking small steps as with everything else helps in getting you out of the people pleasing mode and towards being more confident and assertive.

According to Emily Roberts, here’s how to stop those people pleasing habits.

Stop. Stop saying yes when you want to say no.

Take your time saying yes to favors. Think about it first.

Be fair. Are you being fair to yourself when you say yes.

Don’t over-apologize. Just say, “I am sorry and leave it at that.”

Start small. Limit your availability and your time.

Forget the fear. If people get mad when you say no, you shouldn’t be with such people in the first place anyway.

Ask for help. If it’s too much to handle, ask for help.

Brene Brown says:

“When we’re busy pleasing, perfecting, and performing, we end up saying YES a lot when we mean NO.”

What caught my eye and held my interest is the “performing” part in that quote. I suppose we do perform like actors would trying to please people all of the time. In time, this drains us and it saps our energy. More importantly, you get exploited or manipulated by others. The end result is mental fatigue and burnout.

If you’re a people pleaser STOP! Teach others to respect your boundaries and learn to say NO more often. I have to remind myself of this too. You know what you’ll put up with and what you won’t so do it. It is life changing and freeing at the same time.

When someone says:

“You’ve changed”—

You say : No actually I think the proper term is

“I’ve stopped trying to please you.”

Have an amazing day.

What could I do differently?

Good question because it is one that I ask myself on a daily basis. I think I need to stop “people pleasing.” I tend to overextend myself so much so that I am left wanting and my needs and wants are not met. I have this motto, help first and take care of yourself later and that is not working.

This year I am a work in progress. Not that I didn’t do the same thing last year but I fell short. This year I am going to put “me” first and set some boundaries and work on my self-worth as well. It is not where it should be. That is it in a nutshell.

Daily writing prompt

What could you do differently?

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It’s Grooming Day!

I’ve got everything laid out on the table along with towels to dry Chachi, the cat’s wet fur after giving him a thorough cleaning. The little rascal is eyeing me suspiciously!

Grooming Your Cat

Although most cats spend their time grooming themselves, they sometimes need some extra help from us. This includes:

Brushing Your Cat

Bathing Your Cat

Brushing Your Cat’s Teeth

Cleaning Your Cat’s Ears

Clipping Your Cat’s Nails

It has been said that cats typically spend between 30 to 50 percent of their day grooming themselves and the rest of the time they sleep! Unbelievable? Mine loves cleaning himself and right before bedtime, he has a ritual that begins from the top of his head to the tips of his paws! The little guy is fastidious as he gives each part of his anatomy the attention it deserves and it’s all done with the help of his hard-working tongue. It must be exhausting so today I’ve decided to give him a little help in that direction.

The little macho is not dumb. He’s been sitting on the stairs watching my every move and each time I head towards him, he dashes up the stairs! We’ve been through this before and he knows exactly what is coming up.

Once I get him on the table, he lets out a loud meow showing disdain and apprehension for the process. It’s his way of saying, “I can do this myself human, I don’t need your help!” I agree but from time to time he needs a little help of the human kind so to speak or even an over-obsessive human going bonkers where he is concerned. Whatever the case maybe, it is happening and he needs to take it like the “sweetheart” he is.

I have to say that Chachi doesn’t put up much of a fight or much of a resistance either and takes it all in stride, even the nail clipping part so long as I coo softly and mumble gibberish. The kisses help as well. When it is all said and done, he looks like he’s been through a wind tunnel, his fur standing on end but smelling wonderful.

To this he says: “I’m a cat and smelling sweet is not in my department!”

Once done, he shoots up the stairs to hide from me in case, I have other ideas. Like rubbing his teeth with a tiny gloved finger to clean them. Today, I’m sparing him that part although I did spray some plaque remover in his mouth, it’s supposed to cut down on the pesky plaque and keep his mouth smelling fresh and minty.

Oh, Lord have mercy! Exactly what he says too!

Cuddling tonight will be a pleasant experience although I love holding him close every night. I really don’t think cats smell bad, perhaps because they know how to keep themselves clean. “Cookie Dough” is back downstairs meowing softly. Perhaps he is saying, “I thought I’m the master and you the slave.” True but once in a while we reverse roles and that is alright too!

Have an amazing day.

My Freeway Billboard

LET’S SPREAD LOVE NOT HATE!

Daily writing prompt

If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?

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Thank You!

I just received a message which said, today is the best day for “Most Likes” on my site title! It added that’s awesome.

I think you people are awesome and you know who you are. Thank you for the “likes” and for reading what I’ve got to say. I have a lot to say and knowing that it is appreciated makes me happy. As a writer, I like to get my feelings and thoughts out there and sometimes it goes unnoticed and that is normal but when it does get noticed, it makes it all worthwhile!

Thank you again and to all the new subscribers, thank you as well!

Terms of Endearment

“That’s a gesture of endearment in some cultures. Some hug, some kiss, some set each other on fire in small patches of woodland.” Jonathan Stroud

I guess that last part comes in when the relationship goes down south! Closer to home and of the less insane variety, we dish them out like there’s no tomorrow when it comes to endearing terms. It’s meant to show the newly significant other that they are dear to us and laying it on thick and heavy with such “words” is the way to go about doing it. Be it “Angel” “Sweetheart” “Babe” “Lovebug” “Sweetie Pie” “Cupcake” “Sweetie” or as Daenerys (Khaleesi) referred to her husband, Khal Drogo, as “my sun and stars” and he referred to her as, “moon of my life.” Swoonworthy right? However, Daenerys smothers him with a pillow to save him from misery in the end. It was love but celestial bodies do take a dive now and then.

“Because I’ve got a lot more terms of endearment to use. Honeypie. Sugarplum. Bread pudding. “Why are they all high-calorie foods?” Richelle Mead

That’s what I would like to know but you forgot cheesecake! Some of them border on the ridiculous and yet it is part and parcel of the dating world and into the relationship existence. My friend, the one who passed away, used to call me “Lovely,” and at times “Babe.” It was an automatic response and I don’t think he gave it much thought.

Terms of endearment is defined as, “a word or phrase used to address or describe a person, animal or inanimate object which the speaker feels love or affection for.” Another explanation is that it is used “to put people at ease and is a form of approval, empathy, and to show interest.” All fine and good but what happens when the relationship goes south? You guessed it. There are terms for that too but needless to say I’m not going to get into them. Let’s just say that they are not of the nice variety and oftentimes it negates all the “sweet” stuff that we pour on in a fast and furious manner as in the beginning of the relationship. Ones that take you to places you don’t want to go.

Here’s a tip:

“Cheesecake” is my favorite so if you want to get anywhere with me and see my eyes light up, you know what to say!

Update: I’m on Day 4 of no cheesecake and I’m doing okay so far. I still hear it calling but nope, it’s a done deal! Read my article, “The Cheesecake Dilemma” to know what I’m talking about.

Finally, terms of endearment are flitting at best. Permanency doesn’t define its lifespan but spur of the moment does. With that in mind, I’m signing off to go see what “Buttercup,” is doing. That’s my TOE for my cat, Chachi. I’ve got a ton of other names for him and the repertoire is growing everyday! Good that the love shine hasn’t worn off yet.

Have an amazing day.

The Tease Update

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I woke up this morning hoping to see the streets and rooftops covered in white but no luck there! “Magic” was what I was expecting but the weather decided otherwise and the forecasters were wrong again!

What a tease?!! Promise of snow has been in the forecast for the last few days but each time I get my hopes high and think tomorrow is the day I’m going to take the first walk of this year and be welcomed by snow-covered fields has amounted to nothing but disappointment.

I love SNOW! Let me take that back. I love snow as long as it is not accompanied by ice. I love the soft powdery kind that looks like icing on the cake and is sprinkled thick over the fields covering them in white, blinding white for as far as the eyes can see. A pristine and serene landscape that captures the imagination and takes off running to parts unknown. At least mine does but then again I have an overactive imagination.

So far, we’ve had a light smattering of snow in December but when I headed out to the fields most of it had melted and the pathways were a wintry mix of snow and mud, not my idea of “magic” folks.

We don’t get much snow in these parts. If we’re lucky, we might get some heavy snowfall two or three times during winter and that is it. I’m still waiting for it to dump some heavy duty snow but all it has done so far is to “tease” with promises of more to come. This morning I walked out the front door and a few flakes greeted my unbelieving eyes and hope springs eternal but alas, it was not to be. The sun is shining brightly now and those itsy bitsy tiny flakes were a tease as well!

I guess it will come when it is good and ready and not a moment sooner. Here’s the thing, the forecast says snow this weekend! Hmm…..not buying it until it shows up wearing bells and brings snow drifts to boot! It’s a wait and see approach now AND the “teasing” has got to stop! Put the snow where it belongs, right there in the fields and I’ll be quiet for a change. Please ! Pretty please!!

Update:

I guess it (the weather) decided to let me have what I was hoping for but on its terms! We got lots of snow during the night and I was up bright and early ready to tackle the day meaning in these parts when there is snow you need to get out there and clear up the sidewalk and salt them as well. I was ready and willing since I wanted to go walking in the fields afterwards and revel in the wonder of a snow-covered fantasy. I bundled up and headed out only to find that it was raining as well! Hmm…what a tease!! I guess it (the weather) thumped its nose saying, I’ve still got the upper hand! Oh well, no walk today since it is still raining and the forecast is rain for most of the day. I’ll leave it at that and it’s time for another cup of coffee.

Have an amazing day.