It is one of the hardest skills to master and I have a hard time with it. I am working on letting things go without the end of the world theatrics and I have come a long ways from back when letting go was next to an impossible thing.
However, I still have to master this skill. The question is if this skill can be mastered. I think all of us have a hard time with letting things go, some more than others. I know one person who does it with his eyes closed! One day he is in love and the next he is NOT! A cold-hearted person? I don’t know but he seems to do it with ease and to walk away with no remorse whatsoever.
Not all of us are made that way. I suppose life would be easier if we were. Unfortunately, for many of us it is a heart-wrenching thing to do.
Coming back to your question, “letting go” is one skill I would like to instantly master because it would make my life easier, calmer, and stress-free!
Doable? Anything is if you set your mind to it.
Daily writing prompt
If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why?
It took a long time to learn that being too nice is not always a good thing. People take advantage of you, they use you, take your feelings for granted and so on.
This year I’ve learned to put my foot down on things that don’t serve me. I’ve said goodbye to fair-weather friends. The ones who are there when times are good and nowhere to be found when you need them. I’ve also said goodbye to the takers. These are people who love getting whatever it is from you but giving is a whole different story altogether. I’ve shut the door on them as well. Let’s see, I’ve said goodbye to a few relationships that never really took off because it was DOA and I just put up with it because of this being nice thing. I can’t hurt their feelings so I have to go about it a different way of letting them down easily. That has stopped! This year, I’ve shut doors quickly and without looking back.
It is not easy to do when you’ve been this good person all your life. However, the journey of self-discovery I’m on has shown me that niceness doesn’t always pay and you wind up getting hurt. I don’t think standing up for yourself is a bad thing. It is needed in a world full of people who don’t give two hoots about taking advantage of someone nice and often you are seen as a doormat if you bend over backwards to please them.
I’ve put the niceness part on the backburner and now I’m showing off my “bitchy” side for a change! How am I faring? It hasn’t been easy and my guilty conscience strikes when I least expect it. It says, “that wasn’t very nice of you!” I agree but it is needed to stand up for myself and to show that I have a backbone, one that strikes when least expected. It is all a learning experience and I think I am still a nice person, just not one you can step all over to get at what you want!
There is a new person in town and she is tough as nails on the outside and soft as silk on the inside. What you’ll be seeing is that outer exterior if you cross paths with her in a not so nice way!
Looking back at my 20-year-old self, I would tell her to stop overthinking, let go of fear, and to live life to the fullest.
Overthinking has always been a problem. I overthink everything! Something shows up on my radar and there I go! I grab it, mull over it, refuse to let it go, and spend days, months or even longer on it. I think that spending time with whatever it is helps the problem to dissipate or to make it less than what it is and that is not the case. I would tell my 20-year-old self to TAKE IT EASY! Not everything needs your undivided attention and sometimes it is better to let it go or to leave it where it is and to move on.
Fear has always been a constant companion so I would tell her that she doesn’t have to be fearful of everything. Fear stops you from achieving a lot of things and makes your life a miserable existence. It’s okay to be fearful but not all the time. It’s alright to be careful, to be cautious, and to know what could go wrong BUT let go or rather stop letting fear take the reins and take you for a ride!
Living life to the fullest is not easy and if you have “overthinking” and “fear” directing the way, it is next to impossible to do. Let go of the aforementioned two and you might just have a chance at living a life that is fulfilling, fun, and filled with whatever you want to achieve.
I was naive at 20 and it took a long time for me to find my way. Having my head in the clouds didn’t help either. Know what you want, aim for it, and know that life is short so do the best you can. Dream but not all the time and as far as love, do not chase! It will show up when the time is right. Be patient!
Daily writing prompt
What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?
Again, the wrong person to ask! My boundaries are hard to overcome and if you make it through the imaginary moat, the chains around my heart, and you know where, I applaud you.
The thing is I’ve come up with numerous boundaries and they are of the impossible kind. Sometimes I think that I have them there to protect the broken heart that needs saving from further damage! At other times, I come up with them on a whim, whatever floats my boat at the time.
The first one is DON’T TOUCH! I don’t like unnecessary touching especially on first dates, second dates, or however long it takes. Get the picture? I don’t give out the milk for free so I end up with complicated relationships. The “Don’t Touch” policy doesn’t set too well with men.
Along with that don’t ask me why I don’t have a spark in my eyes when I look at you. It’ll show up if and when the time is right. Here again, it may be never! I guess that’s why I’m still single and looking for the right guy! He has decided to go the other direction where things are easier!
Cheaters, liars, and the like can take a hike! I don’t play around where these guys are concerned. The minute I find out, I put them out of their misery. Stay away from these losers. No point wasting time on them because sooner or later the real person shows up. It never fails. Pay attention to what is shown and listen to your intuition. It has your best interests at heart.
Stay away from men who are all about themselves. These are the ones who look in the mirror and see someone different! Not the faded image of themselves but in that imaginary mirror, they come across as 007! The problem is they take that image into the world and treat women like they don’t matter. Know your self-worth and send them on their way to play with another mirror!
Healthy boundaries are necessary for healthy relationships. Both people should feel free to express themselves without feeling hemmed in. Each other’s personal space should be respected and respectful interactions are a must. These boundaries help to create trust, well-being, and builds meaningful connections.
Easy enough? So where is the guy I’m looking for? He’ll show up when the time is right.
Fingers and toes crossed.
Daily writing prompt
Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.
Will humans ever colonize Mars? A good question to ask Elon Musk! The man who has delusions of grandeur as far as the red planet is concerned but then again, the newly baked trillionaire might just do it. He says he is deeply committed to colonizing Mars and making humanity a multi-planetary species. It is an aspirational view or it could be that he needs more room for his expanding family!
The man or rather the baby making machine has fathered 14 biological children with four different mothers. Where does he get the time with all the ventures he has got going? Good question but moving on…..
Coming back to the question at hand, I don’t know if we ever will and I don’t really care. I have enough trouble making it on Earth! If we ever do what will life be like there or actually look like? Hmm…..no aliens I hope! No unknown creatures and NO having to do battle every day to survive! I hope it will be peaceful and serene and if we wanted to return back to planet Earth, it will be a breeze. Just hop into an interplanetary spaceflight that zips you around from one place to another!
That was tiring! Not the question itself but the thought of Elon breeding like there was no tomorrow!
Daily writing prompt
Do you think humans will ever colonize Mars? What would life there actually look like?
I must say that they have been doing a fantastic job with these memes. Here is one that speaks to the heart of the matter! I added another one for good measure! There is a saying that goes like this, “All’s fair in love and war.” With that in mind, enjoy. I’ll say they are doing a great job at getting where it hurts!
Last year, I started out on this journey of self-discovery looking for better ways to deal with emotional ups and downs, getting myself back on track, and taking the path unknown. It has been a long journey and I’ve made my mistakes along the way and I knew I would. I’ve fallen and picked myself back up and moved on trying not to look back at closed doors or staying there for too long. Along the way, I had to put this into practice.
“The past is where you learned the lesson. The future is where you apply the lesson, don’t give up in the middle.” Unknown
Honestly, I wanted to give up many times when the going got tough. At times, I thought I didn’t have the courage or the energy to keep moving forward. The finish line was somewhere in the distance and I wondered if I would ever see it. However, I had to have faith and to believe that as long as I kept moving forward, it would show up sooner or later.
“Sometimes life has to turn you upside down, so you can learn how to live more right side up.” Unknown
I am learning that not everything is going to break me. Even though it seems that way at times. Stepping back and seeing it for what it is usually brings more clarity to the whole picture. Taking a deep breath before I tackle the problem has helped me to focus on the problem at hand and not on things I make up in my head. I have a tendency to blow things up making them seem harder than they are. I have learned that problems crop up, it is a part of life. Learning to deal with them is needed and doing it with a clear head, courage, and focus has helped me to overcome and to solve problems as they show up.
“I’ve learned 3 lessons this year, to leave people where they are at, accept situations for what they are and that not every action needs a reaction.” Unknown
That last part was and is the hardest for me. I think or rather believe that every action needs a reaction. I am learning that sometimes that action could be no reaction at all. It speaks more than a thousand words could say and leaving it where it belongs, somewhere in the past is action enough.
It has helped to calm my soul, to move on without looking back, and to accept it for what it is. A problem that can’t be solved and so I LET IT BE.
Again I will turn to Singapore where filial piety takes centerstage where the elderly are concerned. The young are taught at an early age to respect their elders and it is instilled in them so much so that filial piety plays an important role in the country’s makeup. This concept remains an important pillar of family cohesion in Singapore.
Singapore has one of the world’s fastest-aging populations and much care is taken to ensure that eldercare is affordable. The government provides retirement schemes and eldercare subsidies that help to lessen the burden on adult children. It is also one of the few countries that legally enforces elder care.
What is filial piety? It is founded on ethical and social virtues and it entails “deep respect, obedience, and care for one’s parents, elders, and ancestors.” I wish that every culture embraced this policy or care for their elders. However, this is not the case
Caring for the elderly, the sick, and people who don’t have any other options should be a priority so that they can die in peace, with decency, and with the respect they deserve.
Singapore is doing a pretty good job with that and other countries would do well to adopt such a system.
Daily writing prompt
What’s a cultural tradition from another country that you wish existed in yours?
I’ve lived on three continents and I know that the biggest mistakes people make when visiting another country is to assume that they can do whatever they want and get away with it.
Let’s take Singapore for example. It is a country that abides by rules and regulations. Knowing the rules and what not to do is a must if you want to visit this country. There is a fine for almost everything. No chewing gum on public transportation, no throwing litter on the streets, no crossing the streets anywhere you want and so on and so forth.
Singapore is called the roaring lion of Asia and it must have done some things right to get that title. “It roars as a global economic, financial, and technological powerhouse, punching far above its geographical size.” It is also a friendly city where everyone practices whatever religion they want to, get along with everyone else, and they take the cleanliness is next to godliness proverb to heart. It is very clean and even though it is a concrete jungle, it doesn’t seem that way because greenery is placed strategically to give it the name, “The Garden City.”
Some call it the big brother is watching city. Probably, but if you follow the rules and what is asked of you, you will have a pleasant visit or stay. Break them and you will have the full force of the law upon you and it will not be a pleasant experience as they use the cane to administer punishment and it is more than an OUCH!
Daily writing prompt
What are the biggest mistakes people make when visiting your country?
I love this song by Bruno Mars. My friend, the one who passed away, was a good dancer. He had the “Moves like Jagger” moves! However, he danced better than Jagger and whenever this song came on, he took off dancing around the room like nobody was watching! I still see him in my mind’s eye. It has a catchy beat and nobody does it like Bruno Mars! It’s a song that never fails to put me in a good mood when I hear it.
Daily writing prompt
What’s a song that always puts you in a good mood?
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